FG: Hey, it's me again!

Robin: We know that, stupid.

FG: (glares) Anyway, sorry it took so long to update. My class put on 'Julius Caesar'.

Robin: Ya coulda typed it anyway. Ya only had two lines in the entire play.

FG: SHUT UP! IT WAS TWO-AND-A-HALF! Ahem. Also, I was playing this game called Dark Cloud. My sister's friend let us borrow it. And speaking of my sister…please welcome Chapter 5's guest, my little sister Sonia!

Sonia: Hi! I like this story!

Everyone else: ………

Bernie: She's cute! (hugs Sonia)

Sonia: Um…this is awkward.

Jake: Get used to it.

Coeur: Myew. Myew, myew, myew.

Miaow: Hart says, "Bernie does that a lot."

Sonia: (breaks free) AW, IT'S SO CUTE! I saw that cute lil' thing at the zoo! It was all walkin' around its cage an' ignoring us, but this one's so CUUUUUUUUUUTE!

Coeur: …myew. Myew.

Miaow: Hart says, "I'm a human, moron."

Bernie: Be nice to the little girl, Coeur!

Sonia: EVEN COOLER! Little kitty girl! Er…boy. What gender are you?

Coeur: (hisses and leaps at Sonia)

Kairi: She's a girl.

FG: Can we just get on with the disclaimer?

Sonia: Okay, but I'm still not sure what a disclaimer is.

Sora: You just have to say who the authoress owns.

FG: That's me!

Sonia: Yeah, I know. She types chapters every day.

FG: No, I don't.

Sonia: Well…a lot. Almost every day. My sister owns Emma, Dia, Jake, Robin, Bernie, Coeur…who's very cute!

Coeur: (hisses)

Miaow: Her name's Hart.

Sonia: Oh, yeah. I forgot. Anyway…Hart, Miaow, Alissa, Taylor, Lyze, Silke, and Eclipse. They all belong to Rachel!

FG: MY NAME'S FAIRY GODMOOSE ONLINE! AT LEAST CALL ME FG!

Sonia: Can't Coeur change into Hart yet? I wanna see him!

Coeur: (glare)

Sonia: Her. HER.

FG: Eventually…

Jake: We get to see Hart! YAY!

Dia: Calm down, 'kay?.

Sonia: Hey, he has the right not to be calm! He's, what, five?

Jake: (glares) I'm nine.

Sonia: Wow, you're only one year younger than me? COOL! You look so cute, though!

Jake: (glares more) Can I chase her now?

Daxter: Finally, they're ignoring me!

Everyone else: (glares)

Sonia: DAXTER! DAXTER! DAXTER! DAXTER! Fuzzy lil' thang…

Jake and Daxter: (glare)

FG: Hey…if you take the E off Jake, it's Jak and Daxter!

Jak: Don't compare me to him.

Jake: Ooh, he's tall.

Jak: Um…okay.

FG: For this Ultra-Author's Note, I forced Sonia to sit down and type responses! So all these lines are really her's.

Sonia: YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FG: Except for that one, 'cause she's busy with Dark Cloud right now. And I like making fun of her sometimes. But can you really blame me?

Sonia: Yes.

FG: (sighs) Whatever. Here's Chapter 5!

… … … … … … … … …

Everyone stared at the woman who was now holding Coeur. Bernie, who had stood up again, would've had her jaw on the ground if she was a cartoon. "Coeur can't be a human! She's my genet!"

Miaow nodded. "Coeur is a genet. Hart is a human. Well, half human. A Nekoshu."

"What are you talking about?" Sora scratched his head. "Didn't you say Coeur WAS Hart?"

"She is." Miaow set Coeur down. "Coeur is her code name, I suppose. Hart is her real name. Hart Kurosato. I should just tell you everything, shouldn't I?"

"No flashbacks," Dia groaned. "We'll get even more lost with another one of those. I almost drove into Wisconsin during Bernie's, and Fuudo's got us off-track from the campsite."

"This will be short. There's no need to go into great detail. If it's short, you won't mind, right?" Dia nodded her approval. "Thank you. Hart is…was…the strongest warrior of the Nekoshu race. The rest of our small tribe is polite and refined, while she was rough and easily angered. However, she cared deeply for her people." Coeur meowed. "And she still does," Miaow added, translating for her. "Just a few Nekoshus live in Hollow Bastion today. The Heartless attacked about two years ago. In a battle, Hart lost her heart. Haiiro, who found our hideout, was able to stop her from becoming a Heartless, but he couldn't restore her to her true form. Because the Nekoshus are part cat, Haiiro made her a genet. A few weeks ago, Haiiro sent another tribe member and me to help you eleven."

Robin shrugged. "So Grandpa Man-Lady sent you an' some Cat-Boy ta find us."

"Hart's little brother, Eclipse Kurosato. He's not as powerful as his older sister, but he has the typical psychic powers:. telepathy, teleportation, telekinesis…"

"Television," Jake added happily.

"Er…I don't think so." Dia patted Jake's head. "How much younger is Eclipse?"

"About ten years younger."

Emma gave a low whistle. "Then he's pretty young?"

"Nope."

She stared at Miaow. "What's up with your voice? It just got lower."

Miaow looked up. "I didn't say that. That was Eclipse."

"More Cat-People droppin' from the sky…" Robin mumbled.

In a dark, purple flash, a boy appeared on the ground. "You're the Juu Senshi, right?"

Everyone stared. "He's a teenager!" Sora exclaimed. "I thought he was a little kid!"

"I said about ten years younger," Miaow explained. "Hart's almost twenty-five now. Eclipse is fifteen."

Eclipse nodded, then surveyed the group. "Do you have my sister?"

"Myew!" Coeur leapt onto Eclipse.

"Hart!" Eclipse hugged his older sister. "I missed you! I've been practicing my psychic powers to see if I could make you a Nekoshu again."

Miaow gently pushed Eclipse forward. "See those two tall girls and the one with glasses?" she asked, gesturing to Robin, Bernie, and Emma. "Read their minds, and show Hart how good you've gotten."

"Yeah, let's see how good ya are, Cat-Boy." Robin chuckled. "You'll never guess what I'm thinkin'."

Eclipse put his index and middle fingers together, and placed them on either side of his head. He made a soft humming noise. "You're thinking… 'That runt will never guess what I'm thinking.'"

Robin grunted. "Yeah…but that was obvious! Try again!"

"You're thinking, 'He's never gonna get it.'"

"Try again! That didn't count either!"

"Okay, now you're thinking, 'Loony's got a big butt.' Who's Loony?"

Kairi giggled, then stood up straight and covered her mouth when she saw the towering French girl glaring I her direction. "I am, I guess…" Bernie told him with a sigh.

"Well, Loony…oh, sorry, Bernie. Bernadette Soleil. That's your REAL name, right? Because you're thinking your name." Bernie grinned. "Good! That's four right!"

"TWO! THOSE DIDN'T COUNT!" Robin yelled. "YA DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH TIME TA THINK OF SOMETHIN'!"

Eclipse also grinned, but his was a bit more mischievous than Bernie's. "Now you're thinking, 'The kid's actually good.'" He looked over at Emma, who was looking blankly back at him. "Um…" He laughed. "Does she tune out a lot?"

"Nah, she's the brains of the Juu Senshi. We've only seen her tune out when she's nervous or surprised. Why?"

"She's not thinking anything about what we're saying. Even now, she's only thinking one thing."

"What?" Dia asked.

"She thinks that I look hot."

"Yer kiddin' me!" Robin started laughing hysterically, gasping things like, "Her, of all people!"

Emma immediately snapped out of her daze. "No!" she screeched. "I…thought it was hot outside! It's almost July!"

"Sure you do…" Sora patted Emma on the back. "…and Heartless are going to climb into my shirt," he finished sarcastically. Suddenly, three Shadows materialized and wormed their way into Sora's zipper-covered T-shirt. "WHOA!" he screamed. "WHAT THE…"

Now, Dia was laughing hysterically. All eyes fixed on her and her Shihaii Wand. "Sorry!" she apologized, but from the look on her face, she was far from serious.

Miaow shook her head. "You're strange. Well, come. I will direct you to the campsite."

As everyone else followed Miaow and Eclipse, Emma sighed with relief. "Thanks for the distraction, Dia."

"What distraction?" Dia asked. Now, she looked genuinely confused. "I just wanted to make Heartless crawl up Sora's shirt! Heh." She and Emma ran to catch up to the rest of the Juu Senshi and the two Nekoshus. None of them noticed that Riku was glaring at Eclipse.

… … … … … … … … …

"What a weirdo." A tan-skinned woman was sitting in the Quinns' basement, looking at the same holograph table that was in Hollow Bastion's chapel. Most of her face was hidden by a dark green silk scarf. "A whole bunch of weirdoes. Why do we have to be careful of them? They'll probably fall into a manhole at this rate."

Guardian groaned. "Last time we underestimated them, they caught us off-guard and destroyed all our former informants."

"They didn't kill Ansem, did they?" She looked a little worried. "Just how powerful are they?"

"They did not kill Ansem. He told that door, Kingdom Hearts, to fill him with darkness. There was only light inside, and it swallowed him." The bandaged, ghost-like Heartless shook his head disdainfully. "What a fool. He was forced to sing real-world songs by the girl with the reddish hair."

"Ah, really?" The woman chuckled. "Maybe I should watch them for a while."

"No. Stick to your job." Footsteps echoed on the tile floor of the partially torn basement. "You're the strongest captain of the Heartless Army, and Daimyo of the magic division." The speaker looked emotionlessly at the woman. He wore a suit identical to Ansem's, but with a hood. A blonde woman in a pink dress with cherry blossom designs followed him. "You have to destroy the Juu Senshi. We weren't able to destroy the game worlds, but we have to get this one."

Guardian nodded. "Remember your deal, Lyze? We did not destroy your precious Ivalice. Your begging got to us…but to seal the deal, you promised to join the darkness. We did not ask you to give in to the darkness, just for your help. Give it to us, and destroy the Keyblade Master and his allies!"

"Only if I get to name the Heartless Army."

The other woman took on a look of amusement. "And what do you propose we name it? The Happy Pony Army of Love and Friendship?"

"Put a sock in it, Silke." Lyze scowled and stood up. "I learned a little Japanese from watching the Juu Senshi. How about Rei no Aku? It means 'spirit of evil'. You don't mind, do you?"

The man shook his head. "I'll be a different leader than Ansem could ever be. I think that the soldiers will be more…agreeable…if they can make a few decisions of their own. I guess…we'll be Rei no Aku."

Silke frowned. "Do I have any say in this? I am a Daimyo as well! I am the strongest of my rank, stronger than Daimyo Rune! She is simply an elementalist, and I am a-"

The man turned to her. "Daimyo Sakura, we need an elementalist for this task. If she doesn't win, we'll send-"

"Me?"

"Daimyo Kinzoku. If he fails, you will be sent." The man turned back to Lyze as Silke grumbled. "Now go, and defeat the Juu Senshi!"

Lyze grinned. "Okay! Thank you, Mr. Taylor, sir!"

… … …

"Emma?"

Emma looked down at Jake. "Yeah?"

"What do you think happened to Daddy? And Alissa?"

"Um…promise you won't cry?" Jake shrugged. "Well…Haiiro told me that because Ansem's a good guy…Guardian got Taylor as a replacement."

Everyone stopped walking. "WHAT?" Dia hollered. "Are you saying Dad's the new Heartless leader?"

Miaow turned around from her spot in front. "Taylor? Yes, he's the new leader. Guardian is his superior, but he's replaced Ansem."

Jake's eyes got wet, and he started sniffling. "We have to…beat up Daddy?"

"I'm sorry, Jake…" Bernie's strange, almost maternal instinct took over, and she started hugging the youngest Senshi. "But Ansem's not dead…I bet your dad won't die either."

A gagging noise came from a little to the right. It was Robin. "More Nobodies? We already got that Blond-Haired Kid guy an' Naminé, though we haven't seen 'em, an' now we got Haiiro an' Miaow! An' yer dad's Nobody's comin' up!"

Jake was now completely bawling. "DAAAAAAADDY!" he sobbed.

Dia stepped on Robin's foot. "Cut it out, Fuudo! Our dad is our new archenemy! This is bad! This is a crisis!"

"Then why aren't you crying?" Sora asked.

"I've seen way better dads than him. I kind of WANT to give him a good smack."

"SIS!" Jake snapped. "Be nice to Daddy!"

"He's the villain, ya lil' freak!" Robin lightly kicked Jake. "We can't be nice! Is Quinn Jr. always like this?"

While, Dia, Robin, and Jake fought, Emma was sitting quietly on a log. Riku glanced at her and frowned. He walked over. "What's wrong, Em-"

"What's wrong, Emma?" Eclipse was sitting next to her.

"That Nekoshu rat beat me to her…" Riku mumbled.

Before Emma could answer, Eclipse said, "Nevermind, I'm a psychic. It's that Alissa, isn't it? Isn't it? Emma?" Emma nodded glumly.

Goofy pointed straight ahead. "Hey, is that the campsite?"

"It is!" Jake squealed. He smiled, despite his tearstained face. Basically everyone ran ahead.

Eclipse went back to talking to Emma. "So, from what Jake was saying, I take it Alissa is your mom. You don't know where she is?"

Emma sighed. "If she's alive, she'd be somewhere near Chicago. But I have no idea exactly where."

"Well, I don't know where your mom is…" Lyze appeared on the top of a cabin. "…but if you're really Mr. Taylor's kids, then yeah, your dad's my new leader!"

Coeur arched her back and hissed. "Myew!"

Miaow looked at Coeur. "She HAS to be part of the Heartless Army!"

"Rei no Aku!" she corrected. "I got to name it!"

"Who are you?" Sora called up.

Lyze took off her hood, revealing pure white hair and two brown rabbit ears. "I'm the Magician Daimyo of Rei Aku, Lyze Rune the viera, the strongest elementalist in Ivalice, and I'm going to destroy all of you!"

… … … … … … … … …

Riku: I don't like you, Eclipse.

Eclipse: Yeah, well, what should I care what an old man thinks? What's with all that grey hair?

Riku: It's silver!

Eclipse: It's grey!

Riku: Silver!

Eclipse: Grey!

Riku: Silver!

Eclipse: Grey!

Riku: Silver!

Eclipse: Grey!

Riku: Silver!

Eclipse: Silver!

Riku: I'm not falling for that! I found a Loony Toons comic in Dia's car!

Bugs Bunny: Hooray for Loony Toons!

Robin: I'm gonna cook that rabbit an' eat 'im fer dinner! (chases Bugs)

Bugs Bunny: YIPE! (runs off)

Sonia: I'm with Robin. Loony Toons stink!

Jake: (sniffle)

Sonia: Um…well…they don't really STINK, but…

Jake: Loony Toons are cool!

Dia: The only reason I'm telling you this is because you're the authoress's sister; Jake can beat you up.

Sonia: Yeah, right. Grow up, kid.

Jake: (takes out the Ikiteiru Shield) ANIMATE!

Nearby Lamppost: (gets up and waddles toward Sonia)

Sonia: What? Huh? COOOOOOOOL!

Lamppost: (smacks Sonia)

Lyze: Wow, you're weird.

Sora: Hey, bad guys aren't supposed to be in Ultra-Author's Notes!

Lyze: I was forced to join Rei no Aku, remember?

Silke: I still believe it to be a mindless name.

Kairi: Why are YOU here?

Silke: To correct and fetch Lyze. (drags Lyze away)

FG: Um…okay….

Sonia: Uh, h-hey! I'm over here! (limps over)

Bernie: You look like you need a first-aid kit.

Robin: (comes back) Why a first-aid kit? We got magicians comin' outta our wazoos!

Sonia: Well, can one of those magicians coming out of your butt help me?

Wizard Heartless: (fly out of Robin's butt)

Dia: (cracks up)

Robin: I'M GONNA KILL YA AN' YER STUPID SHIHAII WAND!

Jake: Heartless are coming out of her butt! Neat!

Robin: I'LL THROTTLE THE BOTH 'A YA! (chases Dia and Jake)

Goofy: There's a lot of chasing in these things.

Sonia: Um…can anyone tell me what throttle means?

Lamppost: (creeps forward)

Sonia: And don't demonstrate it on me!

Lamppost: Aw… (sniffles and walks away sadly)

Sonia: Poor lamppost…

Riku: Your sister's weird.

Eclipse: You're one to talk, old man!

Riku: It's SILVER!

Eclipse: GREY!

FG: Shut up! Warner Brothers could sue me if you pull that Bugs Bunny trick again! Remember when Tetsuko and the guy who did Super Milk-Chan sued me?

Tetsuko: No Belgian Waffles!

Bernie: They didn't sue, they chased you until chapter three! (heals Sonia)

Sonia: What's throttle mean?

Bernie: For the answer, watch Tetsuko!

Tetsuko: NO WAFFLES! (throttles FG)

FG: STUPID… (gasp) …ROBOT!

Sonia: So THAT'S what throttle means.

Tetsuko: I'm going to create an army of every random person you stuck in here!

Guy who did Super Milk-chan, Colin, Drew Carey, Jak, Daxter, Bugs Bunny: (growl)

Colin: Stop drawing me in bikinis!

Drew Carey: Stop stealing my lines!

Guy who did Super Milk-chan: And mine!

Bugs Bunny: And making two teenagers steal mine!

Jak: And comparing me to a nine-year-old!

Daxter: And chasing me!

FG: Um…can't we all have a chat?

Random guests: Grrrrrrrr…

Sonia: DREW CAREY! DREW CAREY! Can I have your autograph?

Drew Carey: No.

Sonia: (sniffle)

FG: C'mon, let's go to Wendy's and have a nice, little, talk…

Every random guest except Tetsuko: Okay!

Sonia: Wendy's!

Tetsuko: NO WAFFLES! (chases me)

FG: Great. Just…great. Ah, well. FG out, yo. AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!