James had gone to the giant lake. It was almost midnight so he had the place all to himself. Even the giant squid was asleep.
(Tune: Hopelessly Devoted To You)

This time is not the first I've screwed up
And I thought I was stretching the truth
Finally I know why I get a 'no' from you

Hello I'm just a fool who's wishing
That someday you will like me too
Lily, listen please
I'm begging on my knees
It's true
All I ask is one date with you

But now I'm sorry I lied
'Cause you pushed my love aside
How long must I wait
All I ask is one date with you
All I ask is one date with you
All I ask is one date with you

My friends are saying 'fool forget her'
My heart is saying 'don't let go'
Since you said my name I haven't been the same you knew
All I ask is one date with you

But now I'm sorry I lied
'Cause you pushed my love aside
How long must I wait
All I ask is one date with you
All I ask is one date with you
All I ask is one date with you

Sirius and Remus clapped their hands. Sirius howl whistled.
"What a performance!"
"I didn't know you had that in you." said Remus.
James turned around and blushed.
"You! What are you doing here? How long have you been there? How much did you see?"
"Everything. We followed you here." Sirius replied.
"Yeah well...I saw you singing earlier so I guess we're even."
"Whatever, let's go Olivia."

Back in the dormitory. It was getting early but the marauders didn't feel tired. They were always hyper.
"Sit." Sirius told James.
"You're telling me to sit? Oh the irony..." James sat down.
"As you know, I am as bad as you. Sometimes even worse. Yet, I am the most loveable one of us. Why is that you may have asked yourself? The answer, my deer friend-" Sirius made a pause and chuckled to himself.
"How long did you brood on that one?" Remus asked.
"A couple of days." Sirius replied. "Anyway, the answer is: I don't take shit from anyone. And I'm extremely gorgeous, but I figured you ought to have noticed that I mean we have shared dorm for 6-7 years so you must have seen me undressed at some point-"
"Paddy?" said James.
"Yes?"
"Shut it!"
"Ok, ok, moving on. The point is, I am the right person to help you."
Remus snorted.
"You had something to say?" Sirius asked.
"I just think that James here might be interested in a relationship. And not some two-day fling that ends with abortion."
"Excuse me? My relationships last longer than two days!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! Once it lasted...3 days."
Remus rolled his eyes. "You may be the master of getting them but not of keeping them. There, I am the master. Prongs, do you know what girls like about me?"
"No." said James.
"I think like a girl. Paddy thinks like a macho pig. That's why girls are objects to him and that's why he dumps them when he gets bored. And you know Paddy, he gets bored 24/7. So then they come to me and say 'Why is he such a jerk?' and I say 'Because men are pigs' and on that way it is."
"I'm not a jerk!" said Sirius.
"I just repated what Suzy, Mandy, Courtney, Cindy, Janey and Lucy said."
"Liar! I've never dated a Janey!"
"Ravenclaw with blond curls and blue eyes? The one with sharp nails?"
"Oh...Her name was Janey?"
"Yup."
"Then who's Becky?"
"The girl you're cheating with behind Emmeline's back."
"Oh." Then Sirius snapped his fingers as he had just realized something. "That's why she was mad at me today! But anyhow, follow me!"

(A/N: I changed the hopelessly devoted - filk, 'cause I wanted it to fit better with the story, other wise it's just...too easy if ya know what I mean. I changed the sandy - filk too, for the same reason. Please r&r!)