FG: Welcome back to CC2! This chapter, we have another special disclaimer guest. Please welcome LoneWolfStar99!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: G! U! E, S, T! We'll kick the guest in his right knee!
LoneWolfStar99: Huh?
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: (kick LoneWolfStar99 in the right knee)
LoneWolfStar99: (clutches his knee) Hey, what's going on?
FG: (laughs nervously) Sorry…I had to type this on short notice, and I didn't have the time or the budget to hire any good cheerleaders.
Sora: You can say that again! Cheerleaders are supposed to be hot!
Riku: These cheerleaders are butt-ugly!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: (leer at Sora and Riku) H! O! T, T, Y! You ain't got no alibi! You're hotties! Yeah! Yeah! You're hotties!
Sora and Riku: (stare blankly)
Sora: Um…
Riku: Okay…
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: We want to buy you!
Sora and Riku: (sweatdrop)
Sora: Wouldn't you rather buy LoneWolfStar99?
Riku: Buy him in the next ten minutes, and he's only $1,520,348!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Hmmmmm…
LoneWolfStar99: H-hey! Don't I get a say in this?
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Nope! (pick up LoneWolfStar99 by the ankles and drag him away) To the checkout desk!
LoneWolfStar: AGH, HOLD ON! FG doesn't own anyone except for Emma, Dia, Jake, Robin, Bernie, Coeur/Hart, Miaow, Haiiro, Eclipse, Taylor, Lyze, Silke, Kinzoku, Sadym, Alissa, and Miru! (wiggles around) HELP!
FG: (stifles laughter) Here's…pffffft…Chapter 16…HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
… … … … … … … … …
"What?" Emma jogged to catch up with the ex-Sword Daimyo. "Did you just say you were a Twilight?"
Silke stopped for a moment, and glanced backwards. "That I did, elementalist…Emma."
By this time, the rest of Juu Senshi and Axel were standing near the two girls. "Then why did you join Rei no Aku?" Jake asked.
"I was forced to."
"We know thaaaaat!" he complained. "But whyyyyy?"
"Why what?" Jake just stared dully at her, all hope of getting an answer draining out of him. "Well, then. I suppose we should be going." Silke resumed her brisk walk towards the next floor.
Jake's eyelids drooped, as did the finger he had pointed accusingly at the blonde. "You did your best," Bernie assured him. Jake just gave a defeated 'myeh' and stomped off.
… … …
"Here we are!" Axel announced with mock grandeur. "Twilight Town!"
Sora looked around, his face displaying his confusion. "Why does this place seem so…familiar?" he murmured.
Robin plopped into a straw chair belonging to an abandoned café. "Ya wanna figure it out, or do ya want us real-worlders ta spell it out fer ya?"
Coeur sniffed the air. "Myew," she replied.
Eclipse was quick to translate his sister's words. "She wants you guys to tell her, too."
"Sure thing." Dia flipped up her sunglasses. "It's not familiar to YOU," she explained. "It's the dark side of your heart that remembers, your Nobody. Roxas."
"Known to all rabid fans and fanfic authors as the BHK," Emma added.
The Keyblade Master nodded slowly. "Roxas…I remember you guys talking about him."
"Myew?" Coeur asked. "Myew, myew, myew?"
Bernie nodded. "That's right. You don't remember either; Miaow's doing the remembering for you."
Grumbling something, Eclipse scowled as Bernie reminded him of Miaow, the fancy-talking, over-protective shell who tried to replace his sister. "Miaow's stupid," he announced sourly.
"I know a lot of stupid people," Donald agreed, gesturing at Sora, who was absent-mindedly picking his nose. The others issued various statements of agreement, edging away from the Keyblade Master.
A girly laugh erupted, echoing across the floor. "Oh, I agree! It seems we have something in common after all."
Goofy looked around frantically. "Gawrsh, what was that?"
"If you can find me, I'll tell you what you need to know!" The voice giggled again.
"Why, ya-" Robin started, but she was soon silencing by Bernie's hand. "What're ya doin' now, Loony?"
Bernie reached into one of her pockets, extracting a dead dandelion. "I'm sorry, Robin, but I need to concentrate." She plucked off a wad of seeds, then let them float away. The seeds started changing colors.
Donald tapped his foot on the ground, impatient as usual. "I don't see how some wilted flower is going to help us."
Emma flicked Donald's head. "Bernie can tell the future with dandelion seeds, remember? Still, I don't get how they'll find the crazy lady."
"WHAT?" the voice screeched. "I am NOT a lady!"
Eclipse closed his eyes. "I can read the woman's…uh man's…mind. He's going to attack! You don't have much longer to locate him," he informed Bernie.
"I don't need much longer."
A gust of cold wind blew past them. "I'll show you!" the man cackled.
"Behind you!" Bernie yelled to Emma.
Emma whirled around. "Got it!" Just before he could strike her, Emma jabbed the man with the Hikari Sword. She surveyed him, then muttered, "Vexen."
Axel snorted. "I should've known the rest of Organization XIII was tracking us." He placed one of his chakrams under Vexen's neck. "Take a hike."
The androgynous brunette scowled at his coworker. However, Axel was now busy whispering to Emma. Vexen took this opportunity to jerk away, then brought out three cards. "Ice Needles!"
"Wind's Mask!" Everyone flew into the air as Emma tossed three cards of her own, evading the dozens of icicles that appeared. Emma glared at Vexen with her creepy, white eyes. "Don't mess with us," she advised. "There's sixteen of us, and only one of you."
Vexen's scowl became a sneer. "I wouldn't rely on that. Even if you get by me, you'll have to defeat the rest of the Organization!"
Emma and the others landed back on the ground. "Then let's hurry this up!"
"Ice Needles!" Vexen called again.
"One-trick pony, huh, Vexen?" Axel jeered, then whipped his head around. "Senshi no Yon!"
Three red cards whizzed past Vexen's head. One of them struck him in the forehead. "Hey!"
A five-foot-fire appeared in front of the ice elementalist. Emma emerged from it, a maniacal look on her face. "PYROMANIAC!" Another wall of fire surrounded Vexen. "We need more firepower…literally!" she called to Axel, running her tongue over her fangs.
"Got it! HYAH!" Axel tossed one of his chakrams at the wall. It hovered above, shimmering. The wall grew higher and hotter.
Vexen materialized an ice shield, and stuck the shield into the fire. A gap appeared under the dripping shield, big enough for Vexen to crawl through.
"He's getting away!" Jake whined.
Riku drew the Soul Eater. "Not for long…Dark Firaga!" A bluish-black flame flew at the wall. The wall became the same color, and the gap refilled itself.
"We still need more!" Eclipse's eyes glowed purple. "He's going to try again!"
Other members of Juu Senshi took out their decks. "FIRAGA!" Sora, Donald, Goofy, Dia, Jake, and Bernie called.
"FIRE WHIP!" Jets of fire shot out of one of Lyze's rapiers, the Scarlette. They went through the wall and caught Vexen's hands.
Robin loaded the Shinku Cannon. "TWIN SUNS!" Two large, fiery energy bullets also penetrated the wall.
"CRYSTAL FLAME!" Kairi loaded her Gyene Armlets. Several crackling red beams followed the bullets.
Sadym grabbed a thin machina rifle from his back pocket. "VENA AHANKO!" More fire came out, adding to the wall.
A shriek pierced through the attack calls, shutting everyone up. "Stand down, men!" Axel ordered. Emma, Dia, Kairi, Robin, Bernie, Lyze, Silke, and Coeur glared at him. "I mean…stand down…people…"
"Axel! Dryd'c hud paehk kahdmasyh-mega!" Sadym pretended to reprimand the red-headed Organization member. He playfully put his arms Lyze and Bernie. "Oui cruimt ghuf paddan dryh du ujanmuug cilr kunkauic ouihk myteac!"
Bernie flushed, mumbling, "Cdub icehk sa du yhhuo Axel."
Lyze grinned at her. "Famm, E tuh'd ghuf ypuid oui, pid E luimt kad icat du drec bnaddo vycd!"
Silke lightly rapped Sadym's knuckles with her paper fan. "Now, now. No flirting during battles."
"What's that wimp saying?" Robin demanded.
"WOULD EVERYONE SHUT UP?" Axel furrowed his eyebrows, then summoned his chakram back. "Get up, Vexen."
Vexen stood up shakily, his singed robes brushing the ground. "What do you want now?"
Axel raised his hands defensively, advancing on the smoldering man. "Just to talk. You know how you're always saying I don't respect my elders?"
"I do."
"And I always disagree?"
"You do."
"Well, then…" Everything seemed to freeze as Axel phased through Vexen's body with both chakrams outstretched. He tilted his head back to look at Vexen's shocked and pained face. "…NOW you can say I don't respect my elders," he announced. Vexen promptly disappeared.
"Interesting group you have here, Axel." Another voice came out of nowhere. "Still, they're no match for-"
Dia kicked the air in front of her. "You guys talk too much."
The air became a muscled man with short, brown hair, wearing an XIII Organization cloak. He glanced at his leg. "That's the best you can do? You-" He inhaled sharply.
"Dia's right," Emma decided. She was still in Pyromaniac form, and her claws were in the man's back. "If you don't watch those long, expository essays, you'll end up with more stuff in your back."
The man glared. "No, I won't! I'm the mighty Lexaeus, and I'll never give in to a bunch of-" He inhaled again. Axel was laughing hysterically. Every member of Juu Senshi had appeared in back of Lexaeus, pressing their weapon into him. Even Coeur bit him.
"This is fun," Jake cooed, keeping up with the tradition of repeatedly prodding people, this time with the Ikiteiru Shield.
Lexaeus whirled around. "Why, you-" He suddenly realized what a stupid mistake he had made. Sixteen people had various weapons pointed at his face. "Uh-oh…"
"FIRAGA!"
"FIRE WHIP!"
"TWIN SUNS!"
"CRYSTAL FLAME!"
"VENA AHANKO!"
"MYEW!"
Lexaeus stared blankly at the Juu Senshi, his face and wispy hair smoking. He also had a gash on his cheek from Emma and Coeur's claws. "My suspicions are confirmed. It is not enough to simply fight." He held out his hands, and a curved tomahawk appeared between them. "I must use all of my power to destroy you."
"Big whoop!" Robin hooted. "Whatcha gonna do, poke us 'til we cry fer our mommas?"
A large boulder pinned the Osakan girl to the ground. "I can do more than poke, unlike that animist." He raised an eyebrow at Jake.
"I can do more than poke, too!" Jake whined. He pointed the Ikiteiru Shield at the boulder. "Animate!" The boulder flew off Robin, and back towards Lexaeus. "Ha! Wasn't that awesome, Robin?"
Robin glared at him. "Shaddup, Quinn Jr.," she responded, giving him a dirty look.
Sadym twitched. He reached for something in his back pocket again, but Lyze caught his hand. "No!" she whispered. "At least wait until after we take out the XIII Organization!"
"I've been waiting since she insulted me at the lodge," he hissed back.
Lyze sighed. "She just called you a wimp. It's not the worst thing you could do…not even close. And if there's any need for revenge, it should be on Jake's part. And look at him!" Jake was back by his sister's side, making various trees fly at Lexaeus. The viera chuckled. "Grow up, Sadym."
"Fine." Sadym looked like a little kid who was instructed to eat his vegetables. He kicked a clump of dirt. "I'll wait." He glanced sulkily back at Lyze. "Um…you can let go of my hand now, y'know…"
"Huh? Oh." Lyze turned red and dropped the Al Bhed's hand like a hot potato.
"Animate!" Jake yelled again, making some small rocks fly at Lexaeus. "Animate! Animate! Animate!"
Lexaeus laughed at him. "I control earth. Your attacks are futile."
"Hey, Axel?" Dia whispered. "Aren't you trying to kill these guys off because they're traitors to the rest of Organization XIII? Deviating from the path, or some other junk like that?"
Axel nodded. "Something like that. Why?"
"Does that make them evil?" He shrugged. "Great," Dia purred contentedly.
Lexaeus swung his tomahawk around. "I thought the Juu Senshi was stronger than this! But-" For a third time, he inhaled. This time, however, his eyes were dull and glazed over. "Jimmy cracked corn, and I dun care! Jimmy cracked corn, and I dun care!"
"Do you think this is just for fun?" Dia mumbled to Axel, who had yet again jammed the lower half of his face into his coat.
"Er…yeah," came the muffled reply.
"What about the 'deviation'?"
Axel cleared his throat and made his mouth visible again. "You're right. Don't let him stop." He tip-toed around Lexaeus, who was still screeching his repetitive little tune, and held his chakrams up high. "This is for the Superior," he told his former comrade. Then he stabbed Lexaeus in the back. "Let him go," he called to Dia. "Give him one last expository essay."
Dia nodded, and released Lexaeus. "Hurry up, your giant butt's starting to fade."
Lexaeus growled. "I suppose I owe you SOME sort of thanks…it would not be fitting for a warrior of my status to utter such last words as compositions about western-grown vegetables and cracking them for the amusement of a man named Jimmy, who, by the way, nobody even CARES about."
Everyone else stared blankly. "Okaaaaay…" Dia backed away slowly. "…I think that's enough."
"THAT is not fitting either!" Lexaus roared as his legs started to disintegrate.
Axel leaned against the café's outer wall. "You have, oh…ten seconds."
Lexaeus racked his brain for 'fitting' words. "This will not have been in vain! The Superior will destroy you! He will destroy you all! MWAHAHAHAHA…HA…how much time do I have left?"
"None," Axel replied. Lexaeus's head disintegrated. "Sora, Riku, Emma, you're up."
"Why?" Riku asked.
Axel looked up at the eternally reddish-orange sky. "You're our best bets to fight our next opponent."
Emma twirled the Hikari Sword like a baton. "I think I know who it is."
"Then I hope you're prepared," a new voice said coldly. "If not, this should go fairly quickly. Riku…" it murmured. "…I want to fight YOU alone. Axel, tell your little friends to step back."
Sora and Emma walked backwards. "There. Happy now, Zexion?" Axel yelled.
Zexion smirked. "Very." He looked Riku over. "I've heard about you…the one with ties to both the light and the dark."
"I rejected the dark," Riku informed him, aiming the Soul Eater.
"Oh, really…then let's have some fun!" Zexion shone for a moment, then Sora stood in his place. "Can you fight me now?"
Riku nodded. "Of course I can! It's obvious you're not Sora." He slashed at Zexion/Sora.
"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" The real Sora dropped to his knees nearby, clutching his arm.
"Sora!" Riku whirled around. "What did you do?" He looked like a rabid dog.
Zexion/Sora smirked. "Whenever you hit me, you hurt your friend. There's a limit to how much damage this hologram can take, though. Finish it, and it'll disappear. All that's left is me. But…what of Sora?" he wondered innocently.
Sora stood up, though he was still in pain. "Ignore me!" he insisted. "Just get rid of that hologram!" Riku took a deep breath and nodded. He stabbed Zexion/Sora through the chest. "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" Sora yelled again. Riku advanced towards him, but Sora shook his head. "Forget it. His hologram's down."
Riku looked over at Zexion/Sora. Now, he was just Zexion. "Ha! All that's left is you!"
"Not for long…" Zexion transformed into Kairi. Zexion/Kairi cackled. "Can you still hit me?"
Kairi bit her lip. "Do it," she instructed.
"NAOSU!" Emma called. Her shirt and eyes turned green. She tapped Kairi on the forehead, and she also glowed green. "Go ahead."
Riku stabbed Zexion again, and the hologram disappeared. Kairi just smiled, devoid of all pain. "You did it!" she chirped happily.
Zexion crossed his arms. "Well, well, well…the elementalist is better than I thought. Petrify!"
"Tough luck!" The light around Emma deflected the attack. "Fight like a man, Zexion!"
The bishounen growled. "I'm not in the mood to be fair."
"Then neither are we!" Eclipse yelled. A thin, purple beam went through Zexion's forehead. Zexion's angrily distorted face became mellow and spaced-out. "I'll keep him busy."
"Everyone, switch to ice!" Axel yelled.
"YUKI NAIFU!" Emma turned blue.
"BLIZZAGA!" the other magicians yelled.
"FROSTBITE!" Robin called loading the Shinku Cannon again.
"CRYSTAL SNOW!" Kairi shot Zexion in the stomach with her Gyene Armlets.
"HYAH!" Silke swung her sword at Zexion's torso.
"ELA AHANKO!" Sadym released several shots from his machina rifle. He turned to Lyze, who was rummaging frantically through her knapsack. "Aren't you supposed to…y'know…do something?"
Lyze gave him a desperate look. "I don't have any Ice Rapiers!" she whined. "Only Red Mages can cast Blizzard!"
Jake trotted over. "I have an idea. Lyze, hand me a Mythril Rapier." Lyze picked up a glimmering, white sword and placed it in Jake's hands. "Sadym, give me your rifle." Sadym tossed his gun in the air, and Jake caught it. "I can control objects, right? Well, I have an idea!"
While the Juu Senshi were busy casting magic, shooting, and clawing, Eclipse was entertaining himself. His voice echoed inside of Zexion's mind. Hey, Zexion! Wanna hear a story?
I suppose so, Zexion replied numbly.
Okay! Imagine a black space, all white. Nothing else.
Mmm-kay.
Now imagine some grass, a shining sun, and a clear blue sky.
Mmm-kay.
You hear birds chirping. Then, there's a gunshot. The chirping stops. There's several thuds.
Zexion's lower lip quivered. Wh-what happened to the birdies?
They're gone. But don't worry! Eclipse assured Zexion and his inner child. The birdies are in a better place now!
Yay! Zexion squealed.
But this story isn't about those birdies.
It's not?
Nope. It's about what happened next. A little cow wandered by, curious about the birds and the gunshot.
A widdle moo-cow?
Eclipse nearly sweatdropped, but he had to concentrate on the diversion he had set up. If he lost focus, the link would be lost. Y-yes, Zexion…a widdle moo-cow.
Yay!
Anyway…the widdle moo-cow saw a little ball of purple…stuff…and the moo-cow was fascinated. His eyes got all big and shiny. It-
Mommy took me to the zoo once, and a cow wanted my banana! It-
Thaaaaat's nice, Zexion…but I'm telling a story, okay? If you talk, you can't hear it! So can you be quiet, Zexion?
Mmm-kay!
Well, the widdle moo-cow was fascinated, and his eyes got all big and shiny. Suddenly, the cow floated upwards, towards the purple…stuff. It got sucked inside!
Really? Wow!
No, Zexion. NOT wow. Y'see, the light made the cow feel funny. It was a ball of puuuuure darkness.
Darkness?
Yes, darkness! The darkness made the cow implode!
What's implode?
Do you know what exploding is?
Uh-huh! When stuff explodes, it goes BOOM!
And explosions go outwards. Into little chunks and stuff. The moo-cow imploded instead of exploding. When stuff implodes, it gets sucked into itself, and shrinks until it disappears. It collapses into itself.
And…the darkness made the cow implode?
That's right, Zexion. And do you know how the darkness got there?
How?
Well, someone put it there. They WANTED the cow to implode.
Zexion's lower lip was quivering again. Who would want a widdle moo-cow to implode?
You.
Huh?
YOU put the darkness there, Zexion.
N-n-no…
Yes! You made the moo-cow implode!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zexion looked around. "What's going on? What happened to the widdle moo-cow?"
Everyone else stared at him. "Eclipse, what were you making him think about?" Lyze asked.
"Imploding cows," he replied casually, as if talking about the weather.
Jake held up a white rifle. "It's done!" he announced proudly.
Sadym ran a hand over it. "What is it?"
"I used my animist powers to combine your machina rifle and Lyze's Mythril Rapier. It's called the Mythril Rifle!" Jake grinned. "Try it out on Zexion!"
Lyze and Sadym each took one of the massive handles, and each laid a finger on the two triggers. "I hope this casts the same magic as my normal rifle…"
"Well, we just have to try," Lyze decided. "Maybe the ice from your side can freeze the water on my side." She loaded her side, followed by Sadym.
"ELA AHANKO!" Sadym pressed his trigger.
"SLIPRAIN!" Lyze pressed her trigger.
"DUAL BLIZZARD!" they called together. A stream of water, occasionally dotted with bubbles came out, next to a stream of ice. They fused together and flew at Zexion, who froze.
The machinist breathed a sigh of relief. "That was awesome."
"Your turn, Axel!" Lyze smiled and handed the Mythril Rifle to Jake, who proceeded to separate it back into two.
Axel took out his chakrams again. "My pleasure." He tossed them both into Zexion's back. "Three down…two to go."
Emma frowned. "Hey! We're taking out ALL of the Organization members. That includes you." Axel got into a fighting stance, but Emma laughed and clapped him on the back. "Just kidding. If we get out of this, you're a Senshi no Meiyo."
"Is that good?" Axel asked. The Juu Senshi nodded. "Okay. I'd be honored to be a part of your group. I was prepared to fight you, but I see there's no need."
Robin tapped Axel's shoulder. "Hey! Ain't you supposed ta be Sora's enemy? Any enemy who's got a beef wit' Sora's got a beef wit' us, apparently."
Axel shrugged and pried Robin's hand off. "I don't have any clue what's supposed to happen anymore. Because of what you guys did, the game has been changed, and there's no way to change it back. Whether the change was for better or worse, though, nobody knows."
Dia absent-mindedly kicked a piece of black fabric that was on the ground, all that was left of Zexion. "So, who's up next?"
"That would be me." A woman with short, blonde hair appeared. She was holding several, golden kunai knives. "How're you, Axel?" she asked conversationally.
Axel crossed his arms. "Let's just get to business, Larxene."
Donald jumped up and down, squawking. "What's the big deal with you guys popping up all over the place?" He grabbed his famous hat, which was under Larxene's foot.
"Hey!" Larxene was about to fall on her face, but she teleported herself upright just in time.
Robin cracked up. "Oh, nice moves! Ya almost got tripped by a lousy duck!"
"Not now, Fuudo!" Dia glared. "We have to get rid of Larxene!"
"Shaddup!" She kicked Dia in the hip, making her crumple to the ground. "Yer worse than that Al Bhed wimp!"
Sadym pulled out a remote control, the object he was reaching for during the fight with Lexaeus. "That's it!"
"Cut it out," Lyze warned.
"No! I have to do it NOW!"
The metal bracelet Sadym had given Robin started to charge, with crackles of blue light. "What the…" Robin screamed shrilly, and she was electrocuted, her body smoking. Finally, she dropped limply to the ground.
"Um…what just happened?" Bernie asked fearfully. The Juu Senshi, Axel, and Larxene stared at Robin's lifeless form.
… … … … … … … … …
FG: That was Chapter 16! Man, I've wanted to see Sadym electrocute Robin since Chapter 11…
Robin: (fizzes on the floor)
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Gimme an F!
Everyone else: F!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Gimme an I!
Everyone else: I!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Gimme a Z!
Everyone else: Z!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Gimme another Z!
Everyone else: Z!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Put it all together, and what does it spell?
Everyone else: FIZZ!
Robin: (grunts)
Sora: Hey, where'd LoneWolfStar99 go?
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: (put masking tape over LoneWolfStar99 and wrap him up in aluminum foil)
LoneWolfStar99: Mmmph-mmmph-MMMPH!
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Silence, slave!
LoneWolfStar99: (whimpers like a beaten puppy)
Salesman: That'll be $1,520,348.
Random cheerleaders that came out of nowhere: Yay! (shake pompoms)
LoneWolfStar99: (wriggles free) GET ME OUTTA HERE!
FG: Why didn't you say something earlier? (shoves the cheerleaders out of the way)
LoneWolfStar99: I WAS BOUND AND GAGGED, YOU PRETEEN NUTCASE!
FG: Do you want me to help you or not?
LoneWolfStar99: (closes mouth)
FG: Thaaaaat's better. FG out, yo. (unwraps the rest of LoneWolfStar99)