FG: Welcome back to CC2! As you guys know, this will not be a regular chapter. This is the Christmas special!
Sora: Whoo!
Kairi: (sneaks past the screen, holding a bulging sack) Yes…whoo…whoo, indeed…
FG: This is going to be really fun! I can't wait for…Kairi, whatcha doin' with that bag?
Kairi: (is taking mistletoe out of the sack and hanging it in strategic places) Um…nothing… (giggles, then glances at Sora)
Everyone else, which seems to be a lot of people today: (sweatdrop)
FG: This is going to be a kinda longish chapter, so I'll cut to the chase and do this chapter's disclaimer myself. The only people I own are Emma, Dia, Jake, Robin, Bernie, Coeur/Hart, Miaow, Haiiro, Eclipse, Taylor, Lyze, Silke, Kinzoku, Sadym, Alissa, Miru, Etoile, Lotte, Aurelie, and Darcy.
Emma: Aren't you going to announce who was accepted into Ino?
FG: Oh, yeah! There were more applications than I anticipated, so it was really hard to pick only four people…that's why I picked seven!
Reviewers: w00t!
Krystal: So who made it, nya?
SimpleNClean92: Tell us!
FG: Okay, okay! The winners are…Fell Dragon!
Fell Dragon: AWRIGHT! I may not have gotten to be Riku's sister, but I'm an Ino!
FG: … Sonora the Free!
Sonora the Free: My life finally has meaning!
FG: …Neassa!
Neassa: Burn, baby, burn! (plays around with a flamethrower, and gets set on fire)
FG: …Angel of Atonement!
Angel of Atonement: I feel happy inside.
FG: …Darkheart Orion!
Darkheart Orion: YESSSSS!
FG: …SimpleNClean92!
SimpleNClean92: (does the victory sign)
FG: …and Pyro Wolf!
Pyro Wolf: (hugs KH plushies) I knew the uber-long review and the excessive flattery would pay off!
FG: These seven reviewers will be joining Tolea, LoneWolfStar99, and Robin as the Ino!
Other reviewers: (clap half-heartedly)
Shiro Tyrant: I would've been a better choice…
gnikgib: Same here.
FG: Don't worry, you guys will have chances in the future. And now, without further ado…here's Chapter 19! (throws confetti)
Everyone else: (clap loudly and whistle)
… … … … … … … … …
A young girl was slumping in front of her computer, drooling slightly. "So…bored…" Her head was stuffed between her crossed arms, and her glasses completely askew. "Writer's block…numbing mind…ideas…gone…can't speak in…full sentences…"
"Hey, Rachel, what's up?" The girl whipped her head around to face three more children, not too much younger than she was. One of them, another girl with an eerily happy smile, was right in back of her. "Still working on that story?"
The first girl pointed a finger right in the second one's face. "I told you to call me FG!" she insisted. She lowered it, then sighed. "And yes, I'm still working on it."
Yet another girl, this one almost identical to FG, spoke up. "So why are you drooling?"
"Shut up, Sonia," FG replied darkly, wiping her mouth. "Can't you go play somewhere else with Jesshika-chan and Eric?"
Jessica clamped onto Eric's head. "Like his room?" she asked in a mockingly suggestive voice. Eric screamed loudly and ran off. "Hey, come back, lover-boy! I brought mistletoe!" She followed him out of the basement, waving a small plant around.
Both Sonia and FG laughed hysterically. Suddenly, FG stopped. "Mistletoe! That's it! I can make a holiday chapter!"
"Oh! That'd be cool!" Sonia agreed. "You can make the CC2 characters have a party!"
FG shook her head wildly, opening up Microsoft Word. "That's not all! I'll invite everyone in the story so far! I'll invite Colin, and Drew Carey, and Jak, and Daxter, and Sana, and Digiko, and…"
Sonia slapped herself in the head as her sister continued to ramble about her guests. "Here we go again…"
… … …
"Okay, where did you just take me?" Sonia demanded. She and FG were standing in a blank room, along with Jessica and Eric. Jessica was still trying to kiss her 'boyfriend'.
FG pulled her brother apart from Sonia's best friend. "We're in Microsoft Word. The only place where I CONTROL ALL!" she screeched maniacally. She cleared her throat, then pulled out a laptop.
Jessica scratched her head. "How do you have a laptop if we're in your computer?"
"Elementary, my dear Jesshika-chan!" FG smoked a toy pipe. "If you had read Attack of the Paranoid Guys, you would have known that this is how I control my fanfics when I'm in them." She quickly typed something in. "I'm setting up a flashback so you can understand better."
"Neat!"
FLASHBACK
Joe and his clones towered over them. "As soon as we're done with you, we'll wipe out the rest of Traverse Town! Or should I say…CLONE CITY!"
"Dude, that is so lame." Everyone turned to look at a fluffy-haired little girl with glasses in the corner. "I swear, it's like someone squeezed the creativity outta you."
Sora patted the girl's head. "Calm down, FG."
"THAT'S MISS FG TO YOU!" the authoress snapped, blowing up to ten times her size, stress mark and all, and prompting Sora to sweat and turn Chibi.
Donald pointed deflatedly at FG. "That's the little kid who forgot what she put in her own fanfiction?"
"MISS FG!" she corrected loudly, jabbing a finger in-between Donald's eyes. FG quickly shortened and returned to normal. "I'm writing this fanfic, so what I say goes, and there's not going to be a Clone City."
"Yay!" Kairi cheered. "Miss FG's going to stop Joe!"
FG raised an eyebrow. "Who said I was stopping him? I just said there wasn't going to be a Clone City!"
"But-"
"Clone City is a lame name."
Leon growled. "Whatever! Just help us!"
"Fine…" FG mumbled something under her breath and pulled out a laptop. She typed rapidly, then closed it and stuffed it back in a bag. "Help's on the way. I'd help you directly, but Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy is on." FG picked up Tim's can of Red Bull. "I'm not supposed to drink beer…" She opened her laptop again and typed some more. The Red Bull can turned into a can of Barq's Root Beer. FG drank it and flew off.
END FLASHBACK
"Now, wasn't that informative?" FG asked happily.
Jessica nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
FG walked over to one of the plain, white walls. "Time to do some interior decorating!" She typed something, and all of the walls were covered in a light yellow wall paper.
"I'll do the cooking!" Sonia squealed, then looked around. "Um…there's only one room here."
"Oh. Yeah." FG typed something again, and several doors appeared, as well as a hallway. "Second door on your left."
Sonia did a little victory dance. "I'll make cookies, and meatballs, and fruitcake, and-"
"No fruitcake," Eric interrupted firmly.
"Fine." Sonia skipped down the hall, naming random foods.
FG continued walking around with her laptop, typing and watching Christmas decorations and furniture appear. The doorbell she had just installed rang. "Can you get that, Jesshika-chan?" she called.
"Sure." Jessica opened the door that had also appeared recently.
About a dozen people were standing on the digital doorstep. "Merry Christmas!" they chorused.
"Oh, you guys. Come in."
Emma took off her large, puffy hat. "Wow! This is awesome!" She looked at the corner. "Miss FG, we're here!"
"Nice to see you guys!" FG closed her laptop and walked over. "This place is probably going to get real crowded…"
Dia shook her head. "No, only the Juu Senshi could make it." She and Emma stepped aside to let Jake, Sora, Kairi, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Robin, Bernie, Coeur, Eclipse, Lyze, Sadym, Silke, and Axel in. "But it's still going to be crowded," she added.
Lyze tapped Eclipse's head. "Why are YOU still here?" she whispered.
"Because Miss FG said that this was just a special chapter that has basically nothing to do with the real plot. How else could she go inside her computer?"
"Yeah, that makes tons of sense," Lyze replied sarcastically.
The doorbell rang again. "I'm not getting it this time!" Jessica yelled, trying to escape the sea of people.
Eric sighed and opened the door, only to be met by another crowd. "Let us in!" a tall boy yelled at him. "And don't ask how we got in Rachel's computer, 'cause we don't know either."
"Okay…" Thoroughly confused, Eric watched the other boy stomp inside. "…Merry Christmas, Colin…"
Colin shrugged. "Merry Christmas." He stomped over to FG. "How the phlegm did we get in your computer?" he yelled, furiously shaking his friend's shoulder.
FG took a step away from him, then went back to typing. "No clue."
Emma laughed. "Maybe Haiiro sucked us in here," she joked.
Colin just glared. "You're all obsessed," he announced, then went to look for a place to put his coat.
"Good, it's warm in here." Drew Carey struggled to fit through the door, cracking it a bit in the process.
Sana twirled in after him. "It's Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!" she cheered.
"Calm down, nyo!" Digiko advised.
A little orange blur went between their legs. "It's just not a party without Daxter! Hey, how're you doin', babes?" Daxter grinned at Dia and Robin, who were towering above him.
Robin grabbed the Ottsel by his scruff, then thrust him at Jak, who had just walked in. "This pervy lil' rat belongs ta ya, don't it?"
Jak laughed nervously. "Sorry. I should really get him a leash."
"I heard that!"
The blonde-and-green-haired warrior just slapped the back of Daxter's head and deposited him in a corner. Bugs Bunny walked in. "Eh, what's up, doc?" He nibbled on a carrot, then walked past Eric, who was still spiraling into utter confusion.
The doorbell rang yet again. "Okay, I'll do it this time…" FG closed her laptop again and opened the door.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Muusu!"
"Hi, Ookami!" FG stepped to the side to let the reviewers in.
Shadow walked over to the Christmas tree. "Can I set it on fire now?"
FG gestured to another door. "There's a parking lot-worth of trees in the backyard."
"Thanks." Shadow took out two flamethrowers, and handed one to Neassa. "This is gonna be an awesome Christmas!"
"Huzzah!" Neassa cried, running out back with Shadow on her heels.
Emma walked back over to FG. "So, is there anything else on the agenda besides answering the door?"
Drew Carey waddled past, clutching a beer bottle in each hand. One was in his mouth. "Oh, hidie-didie-didie-didie, hidie-didie-di!" he said with a drunk, muffled voice.
"…besides that?" Emma added to the blankly-staring authoress.
FG soon went back to normal. "You bet! I have the whole thing planned out! Hey, guys, c'mere!"
The guests gathered around FG, except for Drew Carey, who was drunk, and Shadow and Neassa, who were torching trees. "What are you making us do now? Some stupid party game?" Colin complained.
"No! Iss not games! Issa play! Shut it off!" FG reprimanded, mimicking Strong Bad, and smacked him with a rolled-up paper.
"Hey! Whawhazzat for?"
FG snorted and handed him the roll. "It's a script." She handed some more guests their own scripts. "I thought it would be fun if we put on a play."
Gnecdah pumped her fists. "A play! WHOO!" Beside her, Kaen started poking people out of happiness.
"Quit it!" Sonia yelled, done with her baking spree.
"I created some costumes with my laptop," FG continued. "You guys have an hour to remember your lines. There aren't a lot."
Colin growled. "What are we even putting on?"
FG grinned for a while before answering. "The Nutcracker!"
… … …
"Rachel!" a voice screamed. "Where's my script?"
The preteen girl just stared. "You're…holding it…" she pointed out.
Colin grunted in distress and threw the script he was holding to the ground. "NO, I'M NOT!"
"That's because…you just threw it…"
"SHUT UP! You must have given me the wrong script!" He picked the pages up again and gave them to FG. "Look at the part it has at the top."
FG scanned the page. "This is yours," she told him. "That's your part."
Colin's jaw dropped. "YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!"
"Nope. Now if you don't mind, I have to rehearse." FG turned her back to him and flipped through her own script.
The tall boy looked over her shoulder. "THAT'S your part? Can't we trade?" he begged. FG remained silent. "Stupid phlegmin'…" He stalked off, mumbling rude comments.
Emma ran up to FG, also holding a script. "Who's the Nutcracker going to be? Eclipse?" she asked hopefully.
"Can't tell you," FG replied. "You'll find out. Go practice now, Marie's a big part."
"Can you at least tell me who the Mouse with Seven Crowns is?"
"Practice," she ordered again.
Emma trudged off sadly, passing Dia. "Who are the Polichinelles?" She poked FG's arm.
"Flowers."
"No, who plays them?"
"Heartless."
"WHAT?"
FG sighed. "You have to hide your Shihaii Wand somewhere in that giant skirt. Control some Shadows, and make them stay under your skirt until you get the cue."
Dia threw her arms up, then left. "Aw, dookie…"
"Kids these days," FG murmured, forgetting that her three visitors were all older than her.
… … …
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to FG's Microsoft Word Theater."
"Whoo," Guy With a Monotone said dully amidst clapping from other audience members.
"Please turn off all cell phones and pagers," the anonymous voice from the beginning and end of Kingdom Hearts continued. "If you don't, Sadym may blast you with his machina rifle," he added briskly. "Please enjoy our presentation of 'The Nutcracker on Ice'."
Robin gave an audible snort from somewhere behind a pair of deep red curtains. "More like 'The Nutcracker on Thin Ice'. This's gonna flop," she proclaimed in her Osakan accent.
The curtains opened, and the audience made an 'oooooh' noise. Instead of a stage, there was a large ice rink. A medley of 'The Nutcracker Suite' began to play. A few scraping noises echoed, and Emma skated out, followed by Eric. They were both wearing old-fashioned, Germanic clothes.
Next, Donald and Goofy skated out. Donald was wearing a powdered wig and a green vest that was too big for him. Goofy was wearing a curly, blonde wig and lipstick. And a pink dress. "Kids, stop playing around," he said in a falsetto. "Our party guests are coming soon!"
"Fine…" Eric replied darkly. He had taken several years of theater class, but he wasn't too happy about playing Fritz in an ice show.
The doorbell rang. "I'M NOT GETTING IT!" Jessica roared from somewhere in the audience.
"IT'S PART OF THE PLAY!" Eric yelled back.
Emma tried to ignore the screaming ten-year-olds. "Godpapa Drosselmeyer?" she cooed, running to the stage door.
Instead of a creepy old man with an eye patch, Emma found a girl with incredibly fluffy brown hair wearing a gold-and-black cape. "Actually, the name's Godmoose Drosselmeyer," FG corrected. Emma just gaped. "Yes, it's nice to see you, too, Marie." She walked past the staring teenager.
"What? Rachel?" Eric glared at his sister. "YOU'RE our godfather?"
FG glared back and hit him on the head with a golden eagle-topped cane. "Godmoose. And stick with the script." She cleared her throat, trying to sound like a grandpa. "I brought you some presents, children."
"Oh, can we see them now?" Emma begged Donald and Goofy. "I can't bear to wait until tomorrow!"
Donald leaned towards Goofy. "Someone's getting into this a bit too much…" He squelched as FG hit him with the cane also. "…uh, I mean…sure, darling!"
FG put an eight-foot-tall box on the ground. She knocked on the front. "Come on out, tin can!"
It burst open, and Kinzoku walked out, making holes in the ice. Blades had automatically appeared in the bottom of both metal feet. "This is terribly demeaning, Miss FG," he lamented.
"Suck it in!" The authoress whacked him.
"Very well…" Kinzoku sullenly marched in place, then did a twirl. The ice under him gave out, and he fell in the freezing water.
FG whistled. Donald and Goofy saluted her and dragged the Daimyo away. "Er…next dolls!" She snapped her fingers, and Donald and Goofy returned, carrying a slightly smaller box. Goofy laid it down on the ice, while Donald took out the Dream Rod and repaired the stage with a few rounds of Blizzaga. "Come on!"
Tolea and LoneWolfStar99 came out of the box. "This wasn't in the contract." Tolea was sulking in her
pastel-colored dress and white makeup. LoneWolfStar99 was wearing the same thing, minus the dress. "Do we have to dance?"
"DANCE! Dance now, dance for wrath, dance for ruin!" FG ordered, still speaking in a crusty old geezer voice.
Eric rolled his eyes. "Someone's been reading her Anime Insiders too much…"
And that's how most of the show's next ten minutes went. Various people coming out of boxes, complaining, dancing, then stalking off. Finally, it got to the good part. FG handed Eric a smaller box. "This is your special present, Fritz; your own toy soldier collection."
"Yay me," he replied unenthusiastically.
Then, FG turned to Emma and gave her a box. "Please take care of this little fellow, Marie," she murmured, getting serious. "He means a great deal to me!"
Emma opened the box, and gasped. "Oh. A nutcracker," Donald grunted, definitely unhappy with his part, since Goofy giggled continually and held his hand. Emma didn't pay any attention to them, though; she was looking at the nutcracker. He had spiky, black hair and brown eyes. There were two lines on his cheeks that were supposed to be cracks, but they looked like whiskers.
"He looks like Eclipse," Eric whispered to Emma. She stood there in motionless awe. Was this why FG had refused to tell her who the Nutcracker was?
"Your line!" FG hissed.
Emma's head shot back up. "Huh? Oh." She awkwardly hugged the younger girl. "Thank you, Godpapa…er, Godmoose…he is my favorite present!"
FG's brother laughed scornfully. "How can you like such an ugly fellow?"
"Don't say that!" Emma cried, forgetting the nutcracker wasn't really Eclipse. "You'll hurt his feelings!"
"I'm afraid Fritz is right," FG told her. "Our poor nutcracker is rather ugly. If you like, I'll tell you the story of how ugliness came into his family!"
Eric shrugged. "Oh, please do…" Emma nodded faintly in agreement.
FG looked at both of them with a confused look on her face. "Very well…" She tried to hide her laptop under her cape, then typed something. The set changed, and Emma, Eric, Donald, and Goofy disappeared. FG was now floating in the corner, narrating. "Many years ago, there lived a king who had a very beautiful daughter. Her name was Princess Pirlipat."
Naminé skated out, dressed in a disgusting, frilly pink dress. "What? But she's not supposed to be in here until the next chapter!" Dia whispered backstage.
"You can see?" Emma hopped up and down, in back of her. "I have to see who the Nutcracker is!"
"I'll tell you when he comes out. Right now, I want to watch!" Emma pouted.
Axel had appeared behind Naminé, wearing purple and gold clothes, and a crown. "Her father adored her, so one year, he planned a great feast in honor of her birthday," FG continued. "Now, the king was very fond of sausages, and the queen always made them herself. So in honor of the celebration, the king asked his wife to make three hundred of her best sausages."
The audience roared with laughter. Surrounded by piles of drooping sausages, Larxene's corpse was laying on the ice, wearing even more pink than Naminé. Over her dress, she was wearing an apron that read, 'Bury the Cook!'
"Just as the…queen…had finished making the sausages, Dame Mouserink, the queen of mice, came into the kitchen."
Coeur skated toward the body, wearing mini-skates on each of her four, tiny feet. Bernie had stuffed her into a blue gown and a sapphire-adorned crown. Coeur's mouth started moving, but Bernie's slow, soft voice came out of the microphone on her collar. "Let me taste a bit of sausage!"
Axel coughed, then spoke, mimicking his fallen 'comrade', "Of course!" He really did do an interesting impression of Larxene's voice.
"Then, Dame Mouserink, followed by all her greedy relations, pounced on the sausages and ate them all up!"
FG couldn't contain her laughter as several Nekoshus from Eclipse's old tribe, including Miru and Miaow, crawled over Larxene's corpse to eat some sausages. "Aw, gross!" A very young Nikushimi boy, who looked like he had a bit of plain Nekoshu blood in him, spat on the ice. "SHE TASTES BAD!"
Miru sighed. "Go wash your mouth out, Gaunt." Gaunt quickly skated off as the audience continued to laugh.
Everyone except Axel and Naminé disappeared. "When the king learned what had happened, he was furious." Axel lamely shook his fist at where Coeur had been. "He announced that whoever rid the kingdom of mice would win the princess's hand in marriage."
"Get the Pied Piper of Hamlin!" Kaiya yelled from the audience.
FG glared. "That's it, I'm drafting you." With a yelp, Kaiya was teleported backstage. "Okay, now that that's over with…" FG disappeared, then reappeared on stage, wearing a Musketeer-like, puffy shirt, pantaloons, and a red vest. "Now, one of the king's closet advisors was a clever clockmaker," she narrated, proudly buffing her nails on her vest. "This clockmaker had a nephew. The boy had been orphaned as a baby and raised by the clockmaker."
Emma hopped up and down again, going into hysterics. "I have to see who the Nutcracker is, Dia!" she insisted.
"The nephew was a charming, handsome young man and had the remarkable ability of cracking even the hardest nuts with his teeth." Eric gave a sick-minded chuckle from behind the set. The sound of a falling sandbag was heard, and all was quiet. "Everyone called him the Handsome Nutcracker." The actor skated over to FG.
Dia's eyes widened as she shoved her sunglasses further down her nose. "HE'S playing the Nutcracker?"
"LET ME SEE!" Emma pushed forward, but by that time, the lead was gone. "Great…"
FG took out some wood and some sausages. "The clockmaker decided it would be a fine thing if her nephew married the beautiful Princess Pirlipat," she said, taking care to change 'his' to 'her'. "So SHE began to plan the world's first mousetrap." She formed a cage and set it down, placing a sausage inside. "Then she had her nephew set the traps throughout the palace."
"LET ME-" The set changed from the clockmaker's workshop to the palace as the boy playing the Nutcracker came out again. Emma fell back from shock. "I HAVE TO SEE!"
Unfortunately, Dia had purposely blocked her view again. "Wait your turn."
The only people on the rink were the Nekoshus, pretending to undergo dramatic deaths. "All of Dame Mouserink's greedy relatives were soon trapped and put to death. But Dame Mouserink herself was far too clever to become caught in such a way. Nevertheless, the king was overjoyed and summoned the clockmaker's nephew."
Emma started wailing like a baby. "MOVE!" she pleaded with Dia.
"Sorry, but you'll have to find out later."
The boy, FG, Axel, and Naminé were now on ice. "With great fanfare, he announced that the boy could one day marry the lovely princess." Coeur came back out. "No sooner had he spoken, Dame Mouserink appeared and made this pronouncement:"
Bernie was doing Coeur's voice-over again.
"I, queen of mice, pronounce this curse!
The Handsome Nutcracker shall become hideously ugly,
And for him I predict the worst!
My son, the mouse with seven crowns,
Will surely bring the Nutcracker down!"
"The king's soldiers quickly fell on Dame Mouserink and killed her." Donald and Goofy, now in knight's armor, clumsily fell on either side of Coeur, who played dead. "Then Princess Pirlipat looked at the clockmaker's nephew and shrieked…"
Naminé tried her best to act like an upsetted cheerleader from the Middle Ages. "Oh, how ugly he is! I will never marry him!"
"All right!" Emma finally crawled out from in-between Dia and the set, and looked at the boy. "What? Now?"
The boy was wearing the crudely-made nutcracker mask that FG had provided. It looked exactly like the face the prop toy had. "You see…" FG continued on. "…the clockmaker's handsome nephew had changed. He now had a huge, misshapen head."
Emma looked like she was about to burst. "Is the Nutcracker Eclipse or not?"
Dia rolled her eyes. "Don't be so impatient! Wait a few minutes!"
"The clockmaker was heartbroken, and felt she was to blame for her nephew's misfortune. So, she visited a famous astrologer to learn how the spell might be broken." FG ushered the boy over to Bernie, dressed in navy robes with a silver pattern of constellations embroidered on.
Bernie spun a large globe that sat on her desk. "Do not despair. Your nephew is such a fine young man that he will win a kingdom of his own," she assured 'Godmoose Drosselmeyer' in a deep voice. "But unless he defeats Dame Mouserink's son, the Mouse with Seven Crowns, and wins a lady's heart despite his ugliness, he will never return to his proper form."
The set changed back to the Stahlbaum's living room. Eric and Emma appeared on the ice again, prompting Emma to straighten herself up again. "And now you know how the mousetrap was invented, and why nutcrackers are so ugly."
"What was the clever clockmaker's name?" Eric asked through gritted teeth.
FG smiled oddly. "Drosselmeyer. Just like mine."
Goofy, back to dressing in drag, giggled. "That was a wonderful story! Now, to bed, children!"
"Yes, time for you to go to sleep, or Santa Claus won't come tomorrow…" Donald looked both angry and depressed.
Eric gathered up the plastic soldiers and put them in a toy box. Emma skipped over to her 'parents'. "Can't I stay up a little longer? I want to put my nutcracker to bed properly."
The set changed again; the props were the same, but everything grew darker as the stage lights turned off, and the fake moon cast shadows. "After everyone else had gone to bed, the sitting room seemed dark and mysterious." FG grinned as she saw Emma creep towards the couch in anticipation. "Marie stared into the nutcracker's painted brown eyes. They had such a sad expression that she wondered if her Godmoose's story could be true."
"D-d-don't worry, dear n-nutcracker…" Emma stuttered, looking around for any mice or toys. "…I will help you if I c-c-can!"
FG typed something. "The clock next to her stopped ticking. The window blew open, and a bone-chilling wind filled the room. Then, Marie heard a voice say…"
"Clocks, listen, and stop your ticking!
Now the mouse king is awakening!
In the light of the full moon
Comes the hour of the Nutcracker's doom!"
Emma was about to tell the voice that his poem didn't rhyme, but she couldn't. First of all, the Nekoshus dressed like mice had returned, and little Gaunt had nearly bowled her over. Second of all, the voice sounded like Eclipse's! But if Eclipse was the Mouse with Seven Crowns, who was…
"Awake! For the hour has come
When we must fight for our kingdom!
Come, toys, and follow me,
The NUTCRACKER calls to thee!"
"Wh-what?" Emma stared in bewilderment at the boy playing the nutcracker. His voice also sounded familiar!
She had no time to question what was going on, though, since FG was still narrating. "The nutcracker came marching out of the cabinet with his sword drawn. Fritz's tin soldiers leapt down from their shelves and followed him."
The soldiers were just Sora, Jake, Sadym, Lyze, Silke, Angel of Atonement, and Drew Carey dressed up in uniforms. Drew Carey didn't really fit into his, and he was sort of hung-over, so he wasn't doing so well. Everyone else was performing a choreographed fight. "Hidie-didie-di!" he yelped lamely, then fell over.
The Mouse with Seven Crowns was holding a long, aluminum sword, as was the Nutcracker. Is either of them Eclipse? she wondered. He has to be…the mouse!
Sure enough, the Mouse with Seven Crowns snuck her a little wave, his brown eyes winked at her unmistakably from inside the middle of his seven heads. "HYAH!" Then he slashed at the Nutcracker, who jumped and landed with a fancy spin. "Prepare to meet your doom!" Eclipse reached out and caught the Nutcracker's sword, dangling it and his own sword above his enemy's throat.
Emma just stared. "Marie's heart was beating so fast, she thought she would faint!" FG cried from the stage's corner. "But she knew she had to do something to save her friend. So she took off her shoe and threw it at the Mouse with Seven Heads." Emma hurriedly pretended to chuck her ice skate at Eclipse, who fell down and twitched. "Then, everything grew dark as she fell to the floor."
"Eeek!" The elementalist lost her footing and actually fell. She moaned, then closed her eyes.
… … …
"Emma? Emma!" a faraway voice called, shaking Emma. "Are you okay?"
"Whaaaaat?" She sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes. Then, gasped. The nutcracker had his face directly in front of hers. He was still wearing the mask, but now, Emma could see his bright, turquoise eyes showing through the holes, surveying her with worry. "RIKU?" she shrieked.
Riku smiled. "That's my name, don't wear it out!" He turned around. "She's okay, Miss FG."
FG nodded, then went back to her narration. "When Marie opened her eyes, all traces of the battle had vanished. The nutcracker stood beside her, holding his sword in one hand, and the Mouse with Seven Crowns largest crown in the other."
"Dear Miss Stahlbaum…" Riku bowed, holding the objects. "…thanks to your courage, I was saved from certain death. Please come with me!" He stood up, but put the crown down. "I have marvelous things to show you!" The set changed yet again, and became a forest filled with snow. "We are in MY kingdom…the Land of Sweets!" A crystal carriage that looked like it was stolen from a Barbie display pulled up, and Riku and Emma got in. It went offstage as the curtains closed.
… … …
"Stupid intermission." A large group of people swarmed out of the Microsoft Word Theater. Dia was stalking near the front, next to Emma. "What are they even for?"
Emma laughed, still in her Marie costume. "To go to the bathroom."
Dia clicked a glasses case open and put her shades away, then glanced back at her friend. "Who uses intermissions for bathroom breaks?"
"NYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!" Jake barreled past them, then smacked into a wall. "BATHROOM!" he shrieked.
FG sighed, following him. "Hold on…" She typed something into her trusty laptop, and a door appeared.
Hopping from foot to foot, Jake grinned and ran into the new bathroom. "I LOVE YOOOOOUUUUU!"
Both Emma and Dia clapped FG on the back as she winced. "Get used to it," Dia advised the authoress.
Sonia was walking around with a tray of gingerbread men. "Who wants cookies?" she called cheerfully.
Drew Carey grabbed them all and stuffed them down his throat, along with the tray. He let out a thundering burp. "Needs more sugar." Then he waddled down the hall.
"Shadow! What did you do, nya?" Smoke was flowing through Microsoft Word's back door. Krystal took her head out of the door as Shadow stumbled through it, using Neassa as a crutch. They were both charred and black. "How many trees did you burn, nya?"
Shadow coughed, and some ashes flew out of his throat. "I lost count after two hundred," he grunted.
Neassa nodded and took out her flamethrower with the hand that wasn't steadying her fellow pyromaniac. "I'd…I'd guess five hundred or so…" She also gagged a little.
Kaiya clasped her hands together. "Aw, Shadow's finally got a little friend!"
Shadow and Neassa glanced at each other, then aimed their flamethrowers at Kaiya. "Burn, baby, burn!" Neassa yelled.
FG walked into the room. "It's time to get back into costume! We're almost ready for Act II to start!" She briefly sniffed the air. "Is that burnt flesh?"
"Yes," Shadow replied bluntly.
"Oh. Places, everyone!" The girl turned on her heel, ignoring the smoldering remains of Kaiya in the corner.
Everything was quiet for a while. "That was weird, nya," Krystal remarked.
… … …
The reviewers and everyone else who didn't have a part filed into the Microsoft Word Theater. "The performance's second act is starting now," the anonymous voice announced.
"Naw, really?" Robin yelled, still behind the curtains.
"SHUT UP!" FG yelled from the ice rink's corner. She bashed a moving figure behind the curtain fabric with her laptop, then cleared her throat. "That's better."
The lights dimmed, and the carriage Emma and Riku had gotten in Act I was pushed out. "Watch it!" Riku hissed, still inside.
"As thanks for saving him, the nutcracker led Marie to the Land of Sweets." FG's voice signaled the leads to get out of the carriage. "There, they were greeted by the beautiful Sugar Plum Fairy."
All was still for a moment as the spotlight shined on the Sugar Plum Fairy. Then, ear-splitting laughter erupted from the audience. You see, there was something wrong with this fairy; it was a boy. A freckled, furious boy. To be exact…Colin. He was wearing a lavender blouse and a white, short skirt. "It's not that phlegmin' funny!" he insisted.
FG tapped Colin on the back. "Just dance…please?" She took her glasses off so her eyes could be seen better, and stuck her lower lip out. Most would call it a puppy-dog face, but FG and Colin called it the 'Demented Little Puppy on Crack' face.
"No way!"
"I didn't want to do this, but…" FG clapped. Eric ran onto the ice, then sullenly saluted his sister. "Take care of the scaredy-cat, will you?"
Eric suddenly grinned, then grabbed Colin's arm. "What are you doing? No…wait! AAAAAAAAAAGH!" Eric started slobbering on Colin. "THAT'S SICK! GET HIM OFF ME! I'LL SKATE!"
FG clapped again, and Eric left. "Thank you, Colin."
"Whatever…" Colin took a deep breath as 'Waltz of the Sugar Plum Fairy' was broadcasted over FG's laptop. He started an impressive skating routine, with a bunch of leaps and twirls. He ended with a ballet stance. The audience clapped loudly, still laughing. Colin stalked over to where FG was floating. "You owe me."
"Yes, I do. Thanks again, Colin!" FG cooed, petting Colin's head. Colin was taken aback by the absence of any whines, denials, or haggling, so he left the rink in silent surprise. Then again, the fact that a young girl in a cape was messing with his hair might have been part of it. The aforementioned young girl cleared her throat. "Marie and the nutcracker went into Marzipan Castle, where the latter resided. They sat together on a golden throne in a crystal room."
Emma looked around as the set changed to fit the narration. "Huh? Oh. Right." She and Riku recovered from their earlier preoccupation, Colin's performance, and sat on the throne FG had mentioned.
"All the people in the Land of Sweets appeared. One by one, they performed their special dances for the nutcracker and Marie."
Riku laughed as swiveled around in his seat to put his feet on the throne's armrest. "Great! More entertainment!"
FG also laughed as she introduced the first skater. "From Spain came the dance of hot chocolate!"
"Whoo!" Sonia leapt out, looking more like a ballerina than an ice skater. But hey, she did both. She was wearing a frilly, copper-and-gold, Spanish-type dress. She was also wearing black ballet slippers with blades attached. "I finally get a big part!" She did her own routine, playing with the fringe of her skirt. About two minutes later, she grinned and stretched her arms out, both displaying the victory sign. The audience clapped again, and she left.
"An Arabian lady did the dance of hot-" Jessica interrupted FG by skating out early, dressed in white and brown belly-dancer clothes. "…chocolate," she finished slowly. Some wolf whistles were heard as Jessica did her performance. FG had her face in her hands, shaking her head disdainfully. Finally, Jessica left. A seven-foot-tall teacup was wheeled onto the stage. "A Japanese dancer jumped out of a giant teapot and did a lively dance." Nothing happened. "I said-"
Robin's furious voice came from inside the teapot. "I toldjya a million times, I AIN'T COMIN' OUT!"
FG crossed her arms. "Don't make me do the 'Demented Little Puppy on Crack' face," she warned.
Silence again. "…fine," she mumbled. The lid flipped open, and Robin jumped out. Instead of her usual, messy, gang clothes, she was wearing a dress that looked like it was made out of peacock feathers…which it was. She was holding a fan, also made of feathers, behind her, like a tail. Her thumb and index fingers were pressed together to make a bird's head. She skated around, doing an intricate, Oriental dance.
"She's actually pretty good," Emma whispered to Riku, who nodded in agreement.
Robin's dance was the longest; it didn't end for another four or five minutes. When she was done, she fluttered the peacock fan in front of her face, then glared at the audience. "What're ya'll lookin' at? Show's over!" She grabbed the teapot lid and threw it to the ice. Naturally, it cracked. "Er…sayonara, jerks!" She leapt back into the pot, then steered it offstage by using the Shinku Cannon as a paddle.
FG laughed, then continued. "From Russia came the dancing candy canes!"
Three people came out, dressed in white and red stripes. One looked confused. One looked homicidal. One looked blissfully unaware of everything else that was going on. "Remind me why we're doing this again, nya?" the first asked.
The second one had his arms crossed, and was glaring at everyone and everything. "Because SHE was acting up," he snarled, kicking the third one.
"JUST DANCE!" FG ordered Krystal, Shadow, and Kaiya. Shadow cursed under his breath and shot a burst of flame an inch away from the authoress. "That concludes the candy cane portion!" she squeaked nervously. Laughing darkly, the trio left. "From Italy came…" FG grinned again. "…Mother Giglione and her little Ponchinelles!"
Dia almost seemed to float out, looking fairly happy with her part, or at least amused. She was wearing a puffy, old-fashioned dress. It was mainly pink, with a few green stripes. The bottom part, the part covering her legs, was at least twelve feet around. Something was rustling underneath. A bouncy tune started playing, and Dia used her Shihaii Wand as a conductor's baton. After a few measures, figures came out from under her skirt. Shadow Heartless in pink-and-green jester outfits. Their glowing, yellow eyes were spiraling, due to the effects of Dia's staff. Dia's eye twitched momentarily. "WATCH WHAT YOU'RE BUMPING INTO, YOU LITTLE SICKOS!" She kicked several Heartless in the head with her pointy, high-heeled shoes. The easily-amused audience laughed yet again.
Finally, all the dances were over. The normal acting started again. "The nutcracker and Marie left the castle," FG continued. "They walked back towards Marie's toy cabinet door, the way they arrived in the Land of Sweets. However, Marie wasn't ready to go."
"Everything here has been wonderful," Emma gushed. "I wish I could stay here forever…"
Riku shook his head. "No, you must return home. Everyone will be missing you. Your mother, your father, Fritz, Godmoose Drosselmeyer-"
"Oh! I forgot Godmoose Drosselmeyer's story!" Emma stared at the silver-haired boy in amazement. "You really ARE her nephew, aren't you?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"And the astrologer was right! You DID get your own kingdom!"
"Yes, and with your help, I have defeated the Mouse with Seven Crowns. And yet…" Riku tried his best to look sad, despite the fact that he was still wearing the mask, which obstructed his face.
FG started talking again. "The nutcracker sighed so sorrowfully, that Marie was sure he must be thinking of the one last thing he needed to change back to his true form; Princess Pirlipat, who had refused his hand."
Emma took a deep breath, to prepare herself for what she had to say next. "I don't understand why the princess was so mean," she told him. "I would have…loved you…and remained by your side, no matter what you looked like. I would not have minded one bit if you were in the shape of a nutcracker!" The set started to disappear, as did Riku. But before he was taken away, Emma swore she saw him smile at her.
"When Marie was done speaking, she felt as if she were falling and falling." Emma quickly hopped into the prop bed, taking advantage of the dimmed lights. "When she landed, she was lying in her own bed, and her mother was standing over again."
The audience chuckled a little as Goofy, still dressed like Edward D. Wood Jr., stood by Emma. "Wake up, Sleepy Head!" he warbled cheerfully. "It is Christmas morning!"
Emma covered her mouth to suppress her laughter. "Oh…oh, Mother! So much has happened!"
"And she told her mother about the nutcracker, and the Mouse with Seven Crowns, and her visit to the Land of Sweets," FG announced.
"You have had a long, beautiful dream. But now, you must get up!" Goofy stood up, then adjusted the tissue paper that was strategically placed in his dress, which earned him more laughs. "We have visitors! Godmoose Drosselmeyer is here, with her nephew."
"Marie quickly dressed, and ran downstairs." The set changed back to the living room, and Riku appeared with FG. "Beside the toy cabinet stood her Godmoose. Beside her was a handsome man, just Marie's age." Riku turned around, without his mask. "It was then that she knew she had not been dreaming." FG looked back and forth between Riku and Emma, then grinned. "I'll just leave you two crazy kids alone. Is this the little girl I caaaaarriiiiieeeeed? Is this the little boy at plaaaaay?" She waltzed offstage, mockingly singing the rest of 'Sunrise, Sunset' at the top of her lungs.
Riku rolled his eyes, then got down on one knee. He took Emma's hands into his own. Emma blushed. "Dear Miss Stahlbaum…by pledging to stay with me despite my ugliness, you have broken Dame Mouserink's curse. Now, would you honor me as to rule with me over my kingdom?"
Emma blushed even deeper. "Y-y-yes!"
FG's voice was projected from her laptop again. "And when Marie was grown up, she married young Drosselmeyer." Eric was heard snickering again. "THE NUTCRACKER, NOT ME!" Another sandbag fell, and FG cleared her throat. "Then, they went to the Marzipan Castle, and even today, they still rule over the Land of Sweets…together." The curtains closed, and the audience clapped loudly.
… … …
"Whoo! We were great, guys!" FG was sitting on top of a table, waving a bottle around. "Let's all have drink!" Drew Carey edged towards it anxiously. "None for you," the girl scolded. "Besides, it's root beer." The large man walked off sadly.
Sonia waved a platter around, with a hunk of something nasty on it. "I made fruitcake! Who wants some?"
Coeur, still in costume, tried to take a bite. One of her adorable fangs cracked on the loaf. "Myew…"
"I'll take care of it!" Neassa volunteered, burning the disgraceful concoction. Everyone cheered.
Meanwhile, Emma ran towards FG, wearing her normal clothes. "Can I talk to you?" she whispered.
FG shrugged and walked a few yards away. "What's up, Emma?"
Emma held up the prop nutcracker, the one resembling Eclipse. "What's up with this? Riku's the nutcracker, not Eclipse!"
"Oh, yeah." FG laughed. "Eclipse WAS going to be the nutcracker, but Riku begged the kid to trade with him."
"Kid? He's older than you."
"Don't remind me." She took a swig of Barq's.
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Why would he want to be the nutcracker so badly?" FG just gave her a knowing smile and walked away.
"Wait!"
FG sighed, but didn't stop. "I'm not explaining it to you."
"That's not what I meant! Just stop!"
"What?" FG stopped, glaring at Emma.
"Look up!"
The authoress looked up casually, then groaned. "I told Kairi to take those down…" A piece of mistletoe was hanging above FG. "Great…well, at least there's nobody else here." She looked down again, then saw something else. Her eyes widened. "NO WAY!"
Emma smirked and left. "Good luck trying to kiss THAT…"
FG glared at the only other thing under the mistletoe…her trusty laptop. "I hate you," she informed it, then took it the sling off her shoulder. She grimaced, then made out with the laptop.
Colin walked by, drinking some eggnog. Suddenly, he stopped. "What the phlegm are you doing, Rachel?"
"I'm kissing a laptop."
"I can see that. WHY?"
"Because that Mary-Sue, Kairi, went on a mistletoe spree."
"That doesn't mean you have to…y'know."
FG grinned. "You're just jealous of the laptop."
It took a moment for Colin to register this. Finally, a little light bulb lit up in his brain, and his face got red. "I AM NOT!" he screeched defensively. He ran off, spilling some eggnog. FG just laughed and put the laptop back in its sling.
Eric cackled. "Finally, something to use as blackmail!" FG looked at him with half-lidded eyes, then pointed above him. Eric looked up. More mistletoe. "So what? There's nobody else standing here!"
FG pointed next to him. Eric looked. Donald was leaning against the wall, prodding some blown-up fruitcake that had been welded to the wall. He turned around, then looked up. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Gimme that," Eric demanded, grabbing Donald's staff. He aimed it at the mistletoe, then yelled, "FIRAGA!" The burnt weed sizzled and fell to the ground. "Ha. Guess I'm smarter than you, huh?"
"No," FG replied, lobbing a sandbag at the back of her brother's head. He keeled over with a pained look. "Yo, guys! Party's almost over, so…" She stopped talking and glared around. Sora was making out with Kairi. Drew Carey was making out with the coat rack. Shadow was making out with Neassa. Lyze was…wait, what was that last one?
Krystal and Kaiya were rolling on the floor, cracking up. "Shadow's got a girlfriend, nya!"
Shadow looked over Neassa's shoulder, then cocked his flamethrower. "Wanna repeat that to my face?"
"Um, not-" Kaiya started, but both her and Krystal were on fire within seconds.
"Burn, baby, burn!" Neassa called happily, repeating her catchphrase. Then she went back to kissing Shadow.
FG typed something into her laptop, which had imprints of her lips on it now. A megaphone appeared in her hand, and she roared into it, "PARTY'S ALMOST OVER! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE!" Everyone stopped what they were doing, and looked at FG. "Okay. Good. Does everyone remember what I told you?"
"Yeah," Drew Carey mumbled, wiping his mouth clean of splinters.
"Good. A-one and a-two, and a…"
FG, the OCs, the reviewers, and the guests all started singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' in Japanese. "Merī Kurisumasu, Merī Kurisumasu, Merī Kurisumasu, to ureshii shin-nen!"
Drew Carey threw some confetti. Actually, fruitcake scraps. "And many mooooore…"
Then, everything was quiet. In a random attempt to break the silence, Colin yelled, "I'm not jealous of the laptop!"
… … … … … … … … …
FG: That was Chapter 19! The story alone was 19 pages long, which makes this my longest chapter by far!
Robin: That's nice, but we dun care.
FG: (kicks Robin's hip joint) Anyway, I hope you guys liked this special chapter. And you should remember Gaunt…he's going to be a very important character in CC3.
Krystal: Quit spoiling the story, nya!
FG: I'm not! I just said you should remember Gaunt!
Gaunt: That's still spoiling it!
Miru: Calm down… (ushers Gaunt away) You haven't seen the last of us! We'll be back! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Everyone else: (sweatdrop)
FG: Um…okay…I think I'll just wrap this chapter up now. FG out-
Tetsuko: (bursts in) NO WAFFLES!
FG: What? I didn't invite you!
Tetsuko: That's the point! I wanted to come to the party… (sniffles)
FG: Aw…I'm sorry…poor lil' robot… (hugs Tetsuko) If I have another party, you can come…you just have to stop yelling "WAFFLES!"
Tetsuko: Can I just do it one more time?
FG: (sighs) Fine… (cringes)
Tetsuko: Yay! NOOOOO WAAAAAFFFFFLLLLLEEEEES! (chases FG off)
FG: (runs away) FG out, yo!
Colin: (walks in) You're all obsessed.