Author's Note: I began this a long, long time ago, when I began wondering about the nature of Ultimecia's Time Compression as a way of avoiding participating in my freshman algebra class. It soon evolved into an excuse to drag my favorite FFVIII characters- the Disciplinary Committee- through various periods of history. Half of it was originally written in said freshman class, and since I'm now a senior, I think this project has been on the shelf long enough. It operates on the principal that the FFVIII world is our world, only several hundred years in the future. As I've said: it's a flimsy excuse for humor, but I think it works out all right.

This story is going to be mainly humor, with some interspersed drama (since we'll be keeping up with Squall and co.) and maybe a sprinkling of romance. You don't have to be any kind of history major to keep up with the different time periods they visit; as a matter of fact, no matter how much you know about the Mongol Empire or Alexander the Great, our poor D/C is going to be hopelessly confused. It doesn't help that they don't speak Mongol or Greek, either.

My other magnum opus, the Official Fanfiction University of Final Fantasy, is still going strong. Thanks to the extreme pressures of senior year and a new, very very long chapter in the works, OFUFF hasn't been updated for some time, but rest assured that it will be. If you're interested in becoming a student and Learning Through Pain, taught by all the FF canon characters, then please check out the link in my profile. Thanks!

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all associated characters and concepts belong to Squaresoft, Inc. I have merely borrowed them for humorous purposes; they do not belong to me, and I am making no material profit whatsoever from them. Please don't sue.

THE DISCIPLINE OF TIME

by Morrigan, the Nightmare Queen

PROLOGUE

"FUU! RAIJIN!"

The pale woman stopped in her tracks, narrowly avoiding being run over by her dark-skinned colleague. A tall, golden figure came racing towards them, running like either the hounds of Hell or a PMSy Shiva were behind him. The distinctive gray trenchcoat flared, the scar burned red in the flickering light. The woman gasped. It was-

"Seifer! You're back, ya know!" Raijin exclaimed, almost dropping his staff. "What-"

"No time!" Seifer yelled, skidding to a halt beside them. "Everything's gone haywire, and Ultimecia's prepping for time compression! We gotta get out of here!"

"Time what, ya know?"

"Did your or did you not hear me when I just so happened to say no time!" the Fire elemental snapped, knocking Raijin upside the head. Raijin took it stoically; Seifer whacked people so often that it was doubtful whether the bronze-skinned man even noticed it. "Come on, I am NOT staying here while that bitch is working her mojo! GO!"

"NO."

Seifer and Raijin turned as one, staring at Fujin. "What?" Seifer repeated, dumbstruck.

"CAN'T LEAVE." Fujin replied, semi-calmly. Her one eye blinked, and she switched into a more informative mode of speech. "Too late. We try to escape, we'll be caught on the fringe or in the core of the magic effect. Either one could lead to disaster. STAY HERE, SAFEST."

"Safest!" Seifer repeated, gaping even as the walls began to shake. "This place is turning itself inside out in a few seconds and you think we'll be safest right here!"

"Trust me!" Fujin screamed, the growing rumbling of the building almost drowning out her voice. "TRUST! I know what I'm talking about!"

Seifer'd heard a lot of things from his albino second, but this took the cake. "Come on!" he yelled, nearly falling as the floor buckled. "If you're not coming, I'm carrying you out!" With that, he unceremoniously grabbed Fujin around the waist and ran like hell, Raijin not far behind.

"PUT DOWN!" the woman yelled, struggling. "PUT DOWN! JACKASS! GET KILLED!"

"We'd kill ourselves staying here!" he yelled right back. "Move it, Raijin!"

A green light was growing at the end of the corridor, and Raijin glanced back fearfully. "I dunno, Seif, this looks bad, ya know?"

"MOVE IT, HYNE DAMN IT ALL, OR I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE!"

Raijin had no chance to reply as the world inverted around them. Reality seemed to pour together, colors began to twist and bend, light turned inside out as some cosmic force wrenched apart the universe and put it back together again the wrong way around. The only sounds that followed them down the gullet of time were their own screams . . .

. . . and far away, the sound of a gunblade, clanging hollowly against some iron-skinned creature.