Chapter 12

Stephanie's POV

I can't believe how my nice, albeit chaotic life, is crashing down around me. I finally decided to enjoy myself, to allow myself to date again, and now, that relationship is in jeopardy because a mistake from my past has returned. How the fuck would I know that Carlos would now be known as "Ranger" and that I would end up working for his company? Why me? When I walked my father to the door, he told me to be upfront with John. He also said that "Ranger" seems to be a good man and that I shouldn't automatically discount him. He knows all about Carlos, and I guess he sees there is more than meets the eye. I only hope that when I confess my past to John, he doesn't decide that I'm not worth the trouble.

"What is going on between you and Ranger? Please don't say nothing, because obviously, you have a history since he is Lucia's father."

I sigh. "I think we all better sit down so that I can explain everything to you. Carlos, I think I need to talk to John alone."

"No, Babe. We tell him together."

I shake my head. "Fine. Let's sit down." Once we all sit back at our table, I begin our story. "When I was twenty, a few of my friends and I decided to go to Miami for Spring Break. I saved all my money for the trip since my mother would never approve of me going. When we arrived in Miami, we went straight to our hotel. Once we checked in, we made our way to the elevator. Before I could get on the elevator, the strap on my duffle bag broke; I dropped my purse and had a mess. Carlos and Lester helped me collect my things. Carlos invited my friends and me to a club that night. We weren't planning on going initially but then decided, why not? They seemed like nice guys, and we figured we have a good time. After all, we were there to party and have fun.

"Carlos and I hit it off and spent most of the week together, sometimes as a large group, other times just the two of us. As you guessed, we slept together. On the day I was flying back to Jersey, Carlos gave me his address to write to him. When I got home, everything was a mess. My Grandma Plum had a stroke, and I spent the following month caring for her. After she died, I realized I was pregnant. I tried writing Carlos, but my letters were returned to me."

Carlos picks up the story from there. "I had given her the address of one of my buddies. He had a permanent residence near the base, and I knew he would hold my mail. However, neither one of us could anticipate that he would relocate across the country just a few weeks after my deployment."

"When I couldn't get in touch with Carlos, I married Dickie Orr. It wasn't until Carlos' first day in Trenton that we reconnected. Knowing that he was planning on returning to Miami, I didn't mention anything to him about Lucy or Alex," I explain.

"It was at Shorty's when Stephanie said that her ex wasn't their father and that they were born near Thanksgiving, that I put two and two together."

"So, that's why my security was upgraded and why Carlos stopped to see me before he left for Boston and when he returned home. He was supposed to meet the twins that weekend that he left."

"So, what does that mean?" John asks.

"Carlos wants to be in Alex and Lucy's life, and I think they should know their father. Beyond that, we haven't figured anything out."

"Okay, I guess you don't want this information shared with anyone else yet," John replies, clearly trying to wrap his head around this bombshell we just dropped.

"No, we don't. My father knows because he always knew of Carlos. However, outside of Lester, Bobby, and Tank, no one else knows of Carlos and me."

"Woody, I don't have to express how important it is to keep this between us, especially at work."

"No, I understand, Sir. I promise I won't break your confidence."

"Ms. Plum?" A nurse calls. I immediately stand up.

"Yes?"

"You're daughter is in a room. You may go to her." I start to follow the nurse, and Carlos says, "Babe."

I look at him, shrug my shoulders, and reply, "of course."

I understand that Lucia is stable. However, God-forbid something were to happen, I never would forgive myself if I didn't allow Carlos to meet his daughter, especially now that he knows about her and Alex.

"I'll wait here. Let me know if you need anything," Woody states.

"Thanks, John."

Carlos and I walk to Lucia's room, following the nurse. "Please wait outside for a few minutes. I want a chance to talk to Lucia before you come in. If she's asleep, you can come right in."

"Ok. I guess that's fair."

We get to her room in the pediatric ICU. She's in a corner room and has a window. I see her connected to various monitors, checking her heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen levels, and who knows what else. She looks so young in that bed. I walk into the room, noticing that she's sleeping. The nurse follows me in.

"It is perfectly normal for her to still be asleep. Some patients wake up immediately; others sleep for as long as twelve hours. Neither is an indication of the severity of her reaction. Since she was also under anesthesia, it may take a little longer for her to awaken. One parent can stay here with her at all times. Visiting hours end at eight, but you both can stay here until morning for tonight since she was only admitted. Let me know if you have any questions. Oh, my name is Melinda, by the way."

"Thank you, Melinda," I reply. I drag a chair next to my daughter's bed to sit down and hold her hand. I'm barely holding myself together right now.

"Babe, it's okay to cry. Let it out; you'll feel better." Carlos tells me while gently massaging my shoulders.

"It's so hard to see her like this. She is normally so energetic. I swear, she's usually bouncing off the walls. I can't get her to sit still for more than ten minutes. Even in her sleep, she's a mover. Her covers are always all over the place, and I still sometimes find her lying in the opposite direction in bed. Seeing her so still is eerie."

"Tell me more about Lucia."

"Well, she is the eldest twin. She was born two minutes before her brother. She never liked vegetables, and I still fight with her today to eat veggies. She loves cake, cookies, and fruit. She is a tomboy, playing soccer and softball. She also loves tap dancing. She is a green belt in Tae Kwon Do, as is Alex. In school, Lucia excels in math and science. She enjoys reading adventure stories. She is in the chorus and wants to learn to play to the viola and guitar."

"Is she good at those activities?"

"Oh my, she's awesome, especially with soccer. In fact, both she and Alex are on travel soccer teams. I don't know where they get their skills. I mean, I was a fairly accomplished softball player, but I never played soccer."

"Babe, soccer is the sport of my family. We all played soccer. What about Alex?"

"Alex is the exact opposite of Lucia personality-wise. He's quiet but has a group of five close friends. He is definitely a leader, choosing to observe before acting. Alex plays football in addition to soccer. He's a quarterback. He loves the computer and is on the school's robotic's team. Alex also enjoys fishing with my Dad. Lucia hates fishing. It's too sedentary for her. However, Alex can sit quietly on a boat or pier all day long."

"Alex sounds a lot like me. I guess Lucia takes after you?"

"Yeah, my grandma always says that she reminds her of me."

"She resembles you, Babe." I look at Carlos and smile, seeing that he is thoroughly pleased that Lucia is like me.

"I'm glad we found each other. My dad has been great to the kids, but they need a father. One of the reasons I haven't dated is because I'm afraid to bring a man into their lives. I hear so many horror stories about stepfathers, I never want to be a statistic. John is the first man I decided to date because I knew him professionally, from Dr. Mitchell's practice. Then, when I started working at Rangeman, I saw that he is genuinely a good person. All the men at Rangeman are wonderful. I already think of most of them as brothers I never had. In fact, I was complaining last week that I was having difficulty finding someone to coach Alex in football to help him improve, and I had three volunteers in two minutes. I worry about Alex. We have a great relationship, but I know there are things that he won't want to talk to me about as he gets older. I'm afraid that if my father isn't around, he'll turn to the wrong people for advice. The guys at Rangeman gave me hope that he'd have plenty of good, strong male role models."

"I'll repeat it, I'm sorry about what happened. I never would have ignored you or left you to fend for yourself with our children. I hate that this happened; I want you to know, I'm in their lives until I take my last breath. I won't abandon them or you. In fact, I've already told the rest of the Core Team that I plan on staying here in Trenton." Carlos informs me. He walks over the window, staring outside, contemplating something.

"Babe, from what I've read of Woody's personnel file, he's hardworking and honorable. He has received nothing but glowing reviews. While there is a part of me that hates knowing that you are dating someone else, I won't stand in the way of your happiness. There is a part of me that wants to force you to break things off with Woody, but I know that is me being selfish. As I told you before I left for Boston, I've often thought about you these last ten years. I hope that we can become, at minimum, friends. I want to spend the holidays with you and the kids. I don't want things to be awkward. I want you to meet my family and spend time with us, even with whoever your significant other might be. I want to make this bad situation as perfect as possible."

"Carlos, I'd like that a lot. It will be nice having someone to talk to about the kids, to help make decisions with."

"Good. Listen, Babe, you look exhausted. Why don't you lie down in the sleep chair? I'll move it next to the bed on this side. If Lucia wakes up, I'll let you know."

"Carlos, you don't need to stay. We'll be fine."

"I'm staying. I can't leave you or Lucia until I know she is okay. I won't know that until I see her awake. Please, Stephanie."

"Fine. Let me go tell John he can go home. There is no reason for him to be sitting in the waiting room all night."

"I'll stay here. Take your time."

I leave my daughter's room after kissing her forehead. As I walk down the hall back to the waiting room, I try to sort out my feelings. Spending one-on-one time with Carlos brings back all the emotions I had when we met in Miami. I still feel that need for him deep inside me. I think there is a part of me that is still in love with him, or at least my memory of him.

But on the other hand, when I think of John, I also feel the flutters in my stomach. I know we can have a great relationship. I guess I just need to see how things pan out. For all I know, in three weeks, I could learn that Carlos is a jerk or is not what I remember him to be. I won't throw away something that has so much promise for something that isn't a guarantee. However, I promise myself that if my feelings for Carlos start to grow stronger, I'll cut John loose. It wouldn't be fair to him to string him along.

When I reach the waiting room, John stands up and walks over to me. "How is she?"

"She's okay, sleeping right now. I'm going to stay here as long as she's in the hospital. I can't leave her alone. You might as well go home. I'll call you in the morning with an update. I'm sorry our date got ruined."

"Michelle, it's not your fault. I'm just glad that Lucia is going to be okay."

"Up until the phone call, I was having a really great time. I hope that once Lucia is home, we can try again."

"I'd like that, Michelle." John paused as if he wanted to say something else but was afraid to.

"What is it, John?"

He signed before looking me in the eye, "Michelle, from everything I know about Ranger, he's a good man. As far as I'm aware, he is still under contract, which means he can be called away at any time for who knows how long. But, he is the best at what he does. I know that he can be a wonderful father to the twins. However, if this relationship is to continue between us, he can't keep calling you 'Babe.' I understand it's how he knows you, but it's a term of endearment. "

"Are you jealous?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"Very. Look, Ranger has a reputation with women. He and Lester are the kings of one-night stands. I've seen them in action when I was in Boston. We all went to this club together to do a job. Once we finished the job, we stayed to let off some steam. Those two had women throwing themselves at them. I saw about ten women stick their phone numbers in their pockets. Both Lester and Ranger left that night with the two most attractive women in the club. They were back at Rangeman a few hours later, and if the rumors are true, they were together, if you get my drift."

I felt a lump form in my stomach. There is a part of me that wishes that Carlos still sees me as the attractive girl he met in Miami. I know I've changed a lot since then, I'm not as thin as I was, and I come with baggage. Carlos is a single, heterosexual man who is by far the most handsome man I've ever met. He exudes sex, power, passion, and strength, qualities that make most women weak in the knees. I can't blame him for having an active sex life, but I wonder what, if anything, he sees in plain old me.

"John, why are you telling me this."

"So that you don't throw away what we have for someone that doesn't know what love is, who doesn't know how to be with one woman. Ranger never stays the night. He does the deed, then leaves. In fact, he told us that he only spent the night with a woman once, that he only woke up next to a woman once. He's not the man you need."

I was shocked at what John said. Ranger talked about me to the other men. I know he stayed with me all night because I woke him up with a happy ending, or should I say a happy beginning. We made love again that morning, at least three times before we had to leave. It was that last time when the condom broke. I guess John saw the change in my expression.

"Shit, that was you. You are the woman he spent the night with."

"Yes. But remember, we were twenty."

"That makes it even more significant." At my questioning look, John continued. "Look, Michelle, something about that night meant more to Ranger than any other night. Something about you was different. I don't know if it was that you dropped off the face of the earth had him decide not to commit to any woman or if it is because he felt something more for you. But that changed his behavior. Listen, I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but be careful. I'd hate to see Ranger manipulate you or hurt you. Just keep your guard up. Oh, and Cal dropped off your bag. He said that you owe him."

I laugh. Grandma Mazur must have copped a feel. "I better bring Cal a peace offering when I see him next."

"Grandma?"

"Probably. John, thank you for talking to me. I'll keep my guard up. Thank you for being here with me and waiting for me. I promise I'll call in the morning."

"Also, you can't keep secrets from me. I will never share what you tell me in confidence with anyone else, but I need to know what is going on. I know you will be spending time with Ranger and the kids, and I want you to be upfront with me about it. Don't hide it from me. I won't be mad."

"I won't." I lean forward and initiate a kiss with him. I rarely start a kiss, especially in public, so I know I took him by surprise, but his arms quickly came around my waist, and he pulled me against him. Just as the kiss was deepening, I heard a throat clear behind me.

"Babe, I'm sorry, but Lucia's awake."

"Talk to you later," I quickly say to John before practically running back to my daughter's room. She's awake, thank God! When I get there, she's sitting up in bed, still looking pale, but just seeing her eyes open is a relief.

"Hi, Mommy. What happened?"

"Sweetie," I reply, kissing her on the forehead. "Your appendix needed to be removed. Then, they gave you penicillin, which is an antibiotic, to help prevent an infection, but you had an allergic reaction to it."

"Oh, my head hurts."

"I'll call the nurse." I hit the call button, waiting for Miranda to return.

"Mommy, who was that man here? He looks like Alex."

I sigh. I guess I need to tell Lucia now. "Lucia, remember how I told you that I found your father and was going to introduce you and Alex to him? Well, that man is Carlos; he's your father."

"What is he doing here?"

"As I told you, he's my boss. He owns the company I work for. I didn't know that until he came to Trenton a couple of months ago. His name is Carlos Manoso, but everyone calls him 'Ranger.' It's a nickname he picked up in the Army. While you were in surgery, he came here for one of my colleagues who was injured. When he heard about you, he stayed, wanting to make sure you're okay."

"Can I meet him?"

"Of course, baby, if you want to. That is who we were supposed to go to the zoo with, but he got called to the Boston office at the last minute. He was going to me us at the Liberty Science Center on Sunday."

"He wants to be with us?"

"Yes, Lucia, I want to get to know you and your brother. I want to be a father to the two of you. I'm sorry I wasn't here since you were born, but I didn't know about you and your brother until a few weeks ago, mi hija."

I jumped when I heard Carlos's voice. I wonder how long he was standing outside. I'm glad, though, that Lucia got to hear him assure her that he wants to be in her life. Dickie hurt Alex and Luc when he refused to have anything to do with them after our divorce. I think she'll be more willing to let Carlos in now. At that moment, Miranda walked into the room.

"Hello, Lucia. I'm Miranda. I'll be your nurse until the morning. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I take a good look at Miranda as she's examining Lucia. She looks to be about my age, with strawberry blonde hair styled in a braid, Elsa style. Her scrubs have Disney characters on them, and she has a genuine smile.

"How's your pain? Let me know what hurts and how much."

"Well, my belly hurts, but it's more annoying. My throat is dry. But my head really hurts. A lot."

"Alrighty then. I'll get you some ibuprofen for your headache. It's going to hurt you for the next day or two. We'll manage it with pain meds. It's best to not fight to sleep, as the more you sleep, the better your head will feel."

"Okay," Lucia responds. Miranda leaves the room, returning in less than a minute with a syringe and vial.

"Ms. Plum, as you can see, this vial is clearly labeled ibuprofen. Don't be afraid to ask whoever is on duty to show you the vial before they inject it into Lucia's IV. Even though she is clearly marked as a penicillin allergy, sometimes the nurses do make mistakes. It hasn't happened here, but I've seen it happen in the hospital where I previously worked."

I was grateful that she showed me the vial because, frankly, I am fearful that Lucia will be given penicillin or one of its derivatives again. "I also have a bracelet for you. This will allow you to enter this floor after visiting hours and enable you to stay with Lucia overnight.

"Can you please give one to Carlos? He's Lucia's father."

"Ms. Plum, I'm sorry, but since there isn't a father listed on any of her documentation, I can't do that."

"Miranda, I asked Stephanie not to put my name on their birth certificate. I am in the Army, and I do a lot of dangerous work. It was a way of keeping my family safe. What documentation do I need to bring in?"

"Are you a Ranger?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll get you a bracelet. My father was a Ranger, and so are my cousins. I understand what you do. Ms. Plum, I'll give you back her admission paperwork. Modify the information to include Mr."

"Manoso."

"Manoso, so everything is legal."

"No problem. Thank you, Miranda."

Once Miranda leaves the room, Lucia speaks up. "Mommy, I'm tired. Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Of course, sweetie. Mommy's not going anywhere."

"Will you be here?" she asks Carlos.

"If you want me here, mi hija, I'll be here."

"I'd like that." She replies as her eyes are closing.

"Then I'll be here with mom."

"Good. I'm going to sleep now."

We watch as Lucia falls asleep again, looking more like herself. I feel that knot in my stomach loosens a little.

A few minutes later, Miranda returns with the paperwork, showing me exactly where to add Carlos. Finally, she gives him a bracelet as well. 'I'll be back in about ninety minutes to check on her again. Call me if she needs me. Try to get some rest."

A moment later, Miranda is back with a second chair, this one a nice, padded recliner. She smiles at us before leaving. Carlos sits in the new chair, leaving me the sleep chair.

"Babe, here's your bag if you want to get changed."

I completely forgot that Cal gave my bag to John. In my haste to get to my daughter, I left it with him. I'm grateful that Carlos took it, or else I'd be stuck sleeping in this dress. I pick up the bag and walk to the nurse's station, asking where I could get changed. She directs me to a large bathroom. I quickly change into the yoga pants and t-shirt that grandma packed for me, with my fuzzy socks and slippers. I contemplate leaving my bra on, but it's so damn uncomfortable. I take it off, knowing that Carlos has seen it all before. When I return to Lucia's room, I find the sleep chair extended out, with it made up like a bed.

"Thank you, Carlos."

"It's the least I could do. Go to sleep, Babe; you look exhausted. I'll watch over Lucia."

"You need to sleep too."

"Don't worry about me. I can function with little to no sleep. It's part of my training."

I climb on the sleep chair, which is not very comfortable, pulling the blanket up. "Good night, Carlos. I'm glad you're here."

"Night, Babe." He replies before I drift off to sleep.