We're Not In Kansas Anymore
Chapter 8
"A Gathering of Vultures"
Susan Tenny, aka Gwen Grayson, aka Royal Pain was on pins and needles with excitement. The years of hard work, scheming, and preparations were about to finally pay off. In a matter of minutes she would play host to a select few who had been insightful enough to recognize the opportunity she was giving them.
But there had been those who had refused…those who either mocked her achievement or insulted her with their meaningless replies. In the days ahead they would learn the extant of their folly, just as those who had treated her so badly all those years ago would as they started searching frantically for their vanished children.
Susan looked at the makeshift nursery that she had made for her temporary charges. Each crib held an individual super being that had been reduced back to their infancy through the wonder of her pacifier. Each crib was marked by the name of its occupant, as she had been meticulous about identifying each victim; she wanted to be sure the right one was who she claimed they were.
Each baby had been cleaned, changed, fed and burped thanks to the efforts of Stitches and the Nanny robot Susan had built to help care for the babies. Now the babies were either asleep or playing quietly with soft toys in their crib. How utterly innocent and sweet they were.
Each one would be worth a fortune.
For that was what Gwen intended to do. She was going to auction off each super baby to the highest bidder so that the buyer would have their own personal super beings to serve them as they saw fit. Originally she had toyed with the idea of raising the babies herself to create an army of super villains loyal to her, but she wasn't going to waste her renewed youth and beauty caring for a bunch of kids, not when she could get stinking rich and live life as she had always dreamed of.
She again looked at some of the responses she had received to her invitation.
Your plan is as infantile as the babies you seek to pawn off on us. Call me when you are mature enough to see the folly of such actions…Dr. Doom.
If you don't have any mutants, I'm not interested…Magneto.
Harm one hair on my son's head and I shall make your final days an unending nightmare of agonizing pain so that Hell itself will seem a relief…Baron Battle.
Susan knew better than to take the threat lightly. She remembered Richard Peace all too well from their days together at Sky High, and the Omega-class Native American once-hero was NOT someone to cross. That was why Warren was one of the two babies not for sale; he would be safely placed to the side until she and Stitches were ready to leave, then they would drop him off back with his mother and run like hell.
The other baby she was keeping, and that was Will Stronghold. She was going to raise him as her own son until the day he was ready, then she would spring him as a surprise weapon on his own parents, her old enemies the Commander and Jetstream. THAT would be her revenge.
Now Susan was garbed in her Royal Pain battle armor, ready to meet her guests. A buzzing sound alerted her that the first, and possibly most important one, had arrived.
The door hissed open, allowing the entrance of a man Susan had known for years, even before her last disastrous battle with the Commander where she had been the victim of her own pacifier in a freak accident. He had actually provided funding for quite a few of her projects, with the agreement that any technology gained and wealth made from it was to be split between them. He had even provided money to enable Susan and her surrogate father Stitches to live comfortably while she regained her physical maturity the old fashioned way…by growing up.
"My dear Susan," said Lionel Luthor as he strode in like he owned the place, which technically he did as it was one of his "abandoned" warehouses. He took her gloved hands and smiled, looking every inch the grizzled and dangerous old lion he was.
"It's been quite an interesting time, hasn't it," he said as he eyed the rows of cribs and their precious contents, "I'm glad your little experiment with the meteor energy proved to be successful. With the data you've acquired it should be interesting to see what other results we can achieve with continued experiments."
Again the buzz was heard, heralding the arrival of another guest.
The door opened, and in walked a virtual mountain of a man. Easily standing head and shoulders above even Royal Pain, he was a giant bald African American man dressed in a white suit as expensive as Lionel's, and carrying a beautiful crystal topped walking stick in one hand while with the other he held a Cuban cigar he was smoking.
"Ah, Mr. Fisk," said Royal Pain, breaking away from Lionel to offer her hand to the legendary Kingpin, which he accepted as he placed his cigar back in his mouth, "I'm so glad you accepted my invitation,"
"Let's say I was very intrigued," he smiled like a hungry tiger, "it isn't every day one is offered the pick of the litter of a bunch of super heroes."
"I believe you know Mr. Luthor," said Susan as the two men shook hands.
"Actually Mr. Luthor and I have never met," said the Kingpin, "but I know of him through a mutual acquaintance…Morgan Edge."
"Likewise," said Lionel, but his smile looked more fake than before. Obviously he had not expected anyone else to show up at this gathering, much less someone like Wilson Fisk.
Stitches then crept up on Susan and tapped her on the arm.
"The video picked up something coming through the sewers. It's right below us."
"Open up the trapdoors and let him in," she said, "he likes to make a big entrance."
With a deafening clang the huge trapdoor opened, and what rose up through it was a bizarre sight; it looked like a yellow rubber duck the size of a sports utility vehicle, and indeed was actually a vehicle with the cab being in the body. In it stood a short, almost hunchbacked man wearing a long fur collared coat and a Victorian style top hat. His suit was black with a gray vest, and a black silk tie finished the ensemble. Despite his stylish clothing, the man was himself a horror to see. His fat round face was a deathly white, with black circled bloodshot eyes and gray lips pulled back to show yellow crooked teeth beneath a long hook nose, and long stringy dark hair framed his face.
The "wing" of the "duck" lifted and the hideous little man climbed out to drop to the floor and waddle over to Susan. An umbrella was hooked over one arm as he removed his hat to take her hand in his, which looked like a black flipper in the malformed glove.
"Ah, my dear Royal Pain," rasped the little man as he kissed her hand, and Susan still had to suppress a shudder even though she could not feel his lips on her hand, "such a pleasure to meet you, my dear."
"And you are…" said Lionel.
"Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepott, Mr. Luthor," said the little man as he replaced his hat on his head, "entrepreneur, philanthropist…"
"And runner of the entire black market for all of Gotham City," said Kingpin as he smiled and shook hands with Cobblepott, "if I'd known you were coming I'd have sat back and waited for you to jack up the price when you brought me whatever you bought."
"Now Wilson," smiled Cobblepott, "would that be fair to an old friend and business partner?"
"Fairness has never been part of our friendship," answered the Kingpin, and they both laughed.
"So," said Lionel, "you are the infamous Penguin. I thought you were an urban legend like most of the…eccentrics of Gotham."
"Quite real," said the Penguin, "some of us more than others."
"Well now," said Susan, "since it appears we are all here, shall we get our business underway? It's going to be a long and eventful night."
"Then it appears I'm just in time," came a voice from the doorway.
All of them turned to see another man standing in the doorway. Like the others he was dressed in a very expensive suit, but unlike the others he was much younger, only a little older than Susan.
It was Lex Luthor.
"Kal-El."
The voice echoed in the baby boy's mind as he slept.
"Kal-El."
Again the voice…this time it was stronger, more urgent.
"You must wake up, my son."
Those words brought the baby who was Clark Kent out of his sleep in an instant.
Clark looked around, wondering where he was. Why was everything so big? Who were all these babies nearby? Why was he having such a hard time trying to move?
Clark was finally able to get a chubby hand up and focus on it, realizing what had happened…he had been turned into a baby by Royal Pain like all his friends! With a great effort he was able to roll over onto his stomach and try to get his bearings, which wasn't easy.
He saw Royal Pain and Lionel Luthor along with two other men he recognized from news coverage, and it was not good news. Wilson Fisk was out of prison on a technicality, and the Penguin had disappeared after his attempted coupe of the Gotham City mayor's office.
But he was shocked to see Lex. He didn't want to think that his friend was a part of this horrible conspiracy, but after what had happened between him and Warren, Clark didn't know what to think. He wished he could hear what they were saying and tried to concentrate on it. At first he heard just faint mumblings, but suddenly he could hear every word that was being said as if he were right there amongst them.
"What are YOU doing here?" said Lionel.
"Simple Dad," smiled Lex as he removed his heavy overcoat and handed it to Stitches with the obvious intent that he was to hang it up for him, "I read the little messages between you and Royal Pain. You should really try a better encryption code."
"Impossible," fumed Lionel, "that was state of the art. You couldn't have broken it yourself."
"I didn't," said Lex, truly enjoying his father's irritation, "but you remember Otis? We always wondered how his brain could generate enough energy to move his legs, but if you put him in front of a computer, it gives a whole new meaning to the term "idiot savant"."
"As touching as this little father and son reunion is," said the Kingpin, "I believe we have some business to transact as swiftly as possible before any of the heroes come looking for their children."
"I agree," said Lex, turning to Susan, "though I wasn't personally invited, I'm sure that my own financial position makes me qualified to participate in this little…business transaction."
"Agreed," said Susan, who really didn't care as long as his money was good. Besides, it seemed to irritate Lionel that Lex was there, and Susan never could resist causing her old business partner some irritation.
Clark had to get out. He had to get help somehow. But how could he now hear what was being said so clearly? It didn't matter. He tried to get up in a crawling position and barely succeeded. Though he still had his strength, his lack of muscle control from being a baby was a hindrance beyond understanding. Still he had to try, and with supreme determination he was able to push himself up and force his knees to lift his lower half up as well. He then locked his tiny limbs, which trembled from the effort.
"Oh, what have we here?" a sickly sweet yet metallic voice said.
It was Nanny, the robot Royal Pain had built to help care for the children. She looked like a human-sized silver doll dressed in a traditional nanny/maid outfit, her eyes were like two blue buttons and her mouth was shaped like a heart. She had noticed Clark struggling and had come to check on him.
"Now look here," said Lionel, feeling even more upstaged by the unexpected arrival of his son, "let's not forget exactly who is responsible for all of this here. I must protest Lex having a say in any of this."
"What's the matter, Luthor," smiled the Kingpin, "afraid your boy might actually outbid you for some of the kids?"
"Actually,' said Lex, "I'm far more interested in acquiring the means to this situation, rather than its results. I'm here to buy the pacifier."
"Trying to get up and crawl already, my little man?" said Nanny, "here, let Nanny help so you don't hurt yourself."
Clark felt the robot's gentle hands lift him up out of his position, and he saw the opportunity he had waited for. Once free of the walls of the crib, he began jerking around at super speed, jarring the puzzled robot so that it shook violently and vital circuitry was destroyed. The robot then fell over and happened to land on a pile of baby blankets so there was not a sound for any of the arguing villains to notice what happened.
Clark than wiggled out of the robot's grasp and succeeded in rolling over and over until he was on the cold floor on his hands and knees again. Bracing himself, he then began crawling towards a door he hoped led to somewhere he could get help.
"I'm afraid the pacifier is not for sale," said Royal Pain, "besides, it has served its purpose."
"And here I thought you were a woman of vision," said Lex, "when there are so many more uses for it."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm sure both the military and law enforcement agencies would find it a wonderful means of non-lethal capturing of dangerous criminals and enemy troops. What better way to deal with them than to revert the offenders to their infant form and make sure they are brought up the right way this time? I'm sure a lot of condemned criminals would take that as a form of punishment rather than face the gas chamber. A new lease on life…very humane."
"You don't talk like a Luthor," growled the Penguin
"Let's just say that I see a bigger picture," smiled Lex, "one where there is more profit to be made from life than death. That is, of course, if this model is improved over the rather shoddy original that broke in a simple tug of war with the Commander."
Once he got to the door Clark found that it was slightly ajar. He squeezed through and found a huge dimly room. Next to the door was an expensive coat hanging on a hook that seemed to be moving by itself. Suddenly from a pocket a small furry head poked out, and in a moment a small black and purple guinea pig climbed out of the pocket to drop to the floor near the baby.
"Clark," said the guinea pig, "it's me, Magenta."
Clark smiled as he recognized his friend, trying to keep from drooling as he did so. He had to wonder how she had gotten here, but he didn't care, as she was the only help he had. He couldn't very well confront the villains, especially as Lionel would recognize him in his baby form from when he had helped the Kents adopt Clark.
"Let's get you out of here then…"
Magenta was cut off by a sound from the darkness. It was a strange snuffling sound at first, then turned into a whine followed by a yelping that sounded like a high pitched laugh. Both the guinea pig and the baby froze at what stepped out into the dim light.
When Jack Napier, better known to the world as the Joker had died, all of his belongings went to his cousin, the little man named Stitches. Amongst those belongings had been the smilex gas Susan had used to incapacitate the students of Sky High, but his two greatest treasures were kept in the back room that was used as Royal Pain's temporary hideout.
Their names were Bud and Lou, named after a famous comedy team, but they were anything but funny. They were a matching pair of full grown spotted hyenas. And they licked their lips and giggled as they started stalking towards what appeared to be their dinner.
"Of course I improved this model," said Susan, almost insulted by Lex's statement, "not only does it have a "wide angle" setting to hit an entire group at once, I also added one little feature that would ensure a certain…accident never happened again."
"And that would be…" said Lex as he seemed to half-listen to her while he examined her pacifier gun, almost caressing it like a beautiful woman.
"A reversal setting," said Susan, "just throw that small dial by the trigger the other way, and the victim is returned to their proper age.
"So," said Susan, looking Lex in the eye, "does it meet with your approval?"
"I think I'll take it," said Lex as his eyes shot over to his father and the two other villains, "after a proper demonstration."
Before anyone could move, Lex leveled the pacifier and fired it point blank.
To be continued
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Enough of a cliffhanger for you? I'm not saying a thing. See you next time.