Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I am jealous of those who do. But I'm grateful also, because they created something special.
Summary: Post-ep: Requiem.
What happened before Josh went home? He talks to someone who finally asks the crucial question: who is the love of his life?
The love of your life
Josh left the residence and went to grab his things. He didn't expect anyone to be there since it was really late. The President really outdid himself, but he enjoyed it. He got the chance to remember Leo in a true way. With his true friends, his family...His family...That word carried more meanings than one.
"How was the reunion?" - he heard a familiar voice.
"Amy. What are you still doing here?"
She smiled taking another sip of wine from her glass. Usually she did that in a seductive way, but he knew that she wasn't trying to seduce him.
"I've been talking to the President elect and now I'm waiting for a ride."
He nodded and turned around to leave. He was tired and wanted to go home.
"Keep me company?" - she politely asked putting a smile on her face that Josh knew too well. That smile got her everything she wanted. Well, at least from people who didn't know her. He wasn't one of those people.
"I'm tired. And I'm going home." - he simply said. A lot of years have passed by. He was immune to her now. And he had a few other thoughts on his mind.
"OK. Just one more thing. Have you given some thought about Sara?" - she wasn't ready to let him go yet. Not because of some secret motives. She was just bored, and she still had to wait for her ride.
"Why are you trying to set me up?" - he asked.
He was involved in several strange conversations that day. First Amy made a speech how he needs a woman, how it's time to settle down. Like he didn't know that already. As he said before: she was channeling his mother. Then he had a conversation with Donna. She called him sweet. Sweet! And he asked her to come home with him. OK, so he asked her to come herself. But she said that she still had his key...However, she refused. The only thing that made him feel a little better was the fact that Danny looked as miserable as him. Neither of them will be getting any action that night. After all those things, he really wasn't in the mood to have this conversation with Amy again. She apparently didn't agree with him.
"I already told you the reason. The question now is: why are you refusing? You need a woman, Josh." - she repeated.
One part of him wanted to tell her that he has a woman or at least that he knows who he wants, but the other part was just confirming the thing Donna said before: he was a type of person who was uncomfortable with these things. And that part wanted to leave also. As if she knew exactly what he was thinking, she continued.
"Even Donna agreed with me."
That polite smile on her face now changed into a smug one.
"What are you getting at, Amy?" - he was letting her pull him into her game. He knew that she started this because she was bored and she needed company, but he wanted to hear what she had to say.
"Nothing. Just that I picked on a vibe there, that's all."
"A vibe? What kind of vibe?" - he practically squealed.
She slowly walked around the table tracing a silk linen cloth with her fingers until she reached her bottle of wine. In a slow motion she poured herself another glass of it. She was playing with him, but he was willing to participate.
"Well..." - she started and stopped to take another sip. - "You sure you don't want any? It's a great year."
He shook his head and simply stared at her waiting for her to get to the point.
"Ah yes. The vibe. Well, Donna was playing her usual: I don't care who Josh dates, but this time she threw a glance towards you first as if she was surprised by this. And you played yours: Amy is setting me up. For a DATE. Seriously, Josh, did you really have to point that out?" - Amy smiled seeing how uncomfortable Josh looked.
"I'm still not seeing the vibe there." - he played his role. That wasn't hard. He played it for years. The role of a man in denial.
"Bullshit." – Amy pointed her finger towards him. – "If we were in a comic strip, the both of you would be saying one thing, and those bubbles above your head would be saying another."
"A comic strip?" – Josh chuckled. – "I think you had too much to drink, Amy."
Amy suspiciously looked at him as if she was trying to read him. He understood her looks all too well and that made him uncomfortable.
"What?" – he carefully asked.
"Jooosh?" – Amy drawled.
"Yes, Amy?"
"Did something finally happen between you and Donna?"
Josh's eyebrows went straight up as he was trying to hold Amy's stare. He was a politician. He was used to lying. Not that the word "finally" she used didn't make him panic.
But, he decided to play another role he had; the role of a politician.
"Nothing happened."
"Liar." – Amy quickly stepped on his words. – "Let me guess. Maybe there was some kissing or some awkward moment. Then you probably freaked out. She played it cool like she normally does. And you played an insecure fool. Am I right?"
Josh gulped wishing he had never returned to the White house. Even if he had some witty response; he wouldn't be able to use it. Cause Amy wasn't done yet. She asked again.
"Am I right?"
He looked down not allowing himself to say the words out loud. That would mean that everything was true. That he was a fool. And he would never admit that.
"You don't have to say anything. I know the truth." – Amy spoke once again.
"Amy, look. This day was a hard one. I just want to go home. So, say whatever you want to say and let's finish this. Preferably without calling me a fool." – he sighed heavily. His face didn't show any anger. It showed only fatigue. Amy looked at him sympathetically and even though she and Josh had some disputes, she felt sorry for him. But she was a fighter also. And she knew that she was right before. Josh will go home and feel sorry for himself.
"I'll tell you a little story…Don't give me that look!" – she warned him when she saw him roll his eyes and give her his give-me-a-break look. He smirked and nodded, motioning that she should continue.
"Like I said; I'll tell you a little story." – she put the glass down and took a deep breath. – "Josh meets a woman. She shows him that she wants him. He surrenders to her and they start dating…"
"You call that a short story?" – Josh sighed finally placing his backpack to the floor. She looked at him thinking how he never managed to listen to someone speak about him without adding something.
"Fine. Long story short. Josh, you could marry someone tomorrow. You could be married for 30 years, have a family. And if someone asked you after that time if you met your true love, you would say: Yes. But, I never had her. I don't know where she is, or if she still remembers me. But she will always be the love of my life."
Josh didn't need to ask who was she talking about. He wanted to mock her. Laugh at her. Call her a delusional lunatic. But, he couldn't. Her words cut his ability to talk. He felt his throat shrink ad he just stood there. Watching her watching him. Finally, her words started to hurt too much and he lifted his backpack from the floor and started to turn. His legs wanted to carry him out of that room and away from the painful truth.
"There's a second part of the story." – he heard her voice again.
"I don't want to hear it." – he managed to mutter up. He started to walk again, but her voice caught up with him.
"Donna can meet a guy tomorrow, marry him and be with him for 30 years. And if someone asks her after that time if she met her true love, she would say: Yes, but I never had him. I don't know where he is or if he still remembers me, but he will always be the love of my life."
His back was turned to her the entire time, but she didn't need to see his face to know that her words affected him. She waited and after a few minutes he turned.
"Why are you telling me this now?"
She smiled and walked one step closer to him.
"Because you're an insecure fool."
He chuckled but nodded. He WAS a fool, an insecure one and he knew that. He was simply afraid. And he knew that he was doing the exact same thing he's been doing for years. He prayed that everything will fit into the right place without him saying things that would out him. That would bare him and his feelings. That would break his iron walls and the lake that surrounded them. But deep down he knew that it won't work. Not with Donna. Not with the love of his love, as Amy put it. He needed to do something, but he didn't know what. What do you say to the love of your life? Do you even call her that? Will that scare her? Will him?
He turned once again and started to leave for the forth time that night. But this time he stopped himself. Without turning, he asked her.
"So, what do I do?"
Quietude filled the room after that question and it made air even thicker. His question hung there between them, but but it wasn't something new. That question existed in every room of the White house. No one dared to say it out lout before. But, that doesn't mean it wasn't there. Unsaid things are holding more meaning that the said ones. Why? Because they are left for interpretation. Every person sees them in their own way. And most of the time, every person is wrong somehow.
Amy watched his back, once again not knowing what to say. It was one thing to address things, but totally another one to make a happy end.
Josh took her silence as a sign. He bitterly chuckled knowing that the answer to his question didn't exist. Not even Amy knew it. He left the room and started to walk to the exit doors. Amy remained standing in her spot still hearing his bitter chuckle. It was full of deeper meaning and she started to walk after him once again. She saw him approaching the exit doors and she knew she had to say one more thing. One last, remaining thing she could say. The truth that she knew.
"Josh!"
He stopped and turned around halfway not looking at her.
"Don't think about it too much. It doesn't matter what you say." – she said loudly so he can hear her. She saw his head lift a bit and she knew she had his attention. – "She'll know what you think. She's the only one who gets you."
Her words and the sound of her heels walking away filled his eardrums as he absorbed them.
Donna gets him. She understands him. She's always there when he needs her. She knows what he wants and what he needs. And this time he finally understood the most important thing: he gets her too.
He left the big building that held his past, present and future. He glanced at it one more time and walked away. He will have the chance to return again. And now he wondered just how many chances life will give him to acquire the love of his life…
THE END
A/N: I wanted to finish this story just the way show ended because that was such a strong scene. I know that it would be nice to see Josh and Donna encounter, any maybe there will be one, but not after this story. This story had one purpose only – to show how regret can haunt us, and how hard it is to run away from the past and insecurities.
So, let me know what you think:)