Amanda and Olivia are a newer couple. However in this plot Amanda starts off in the hospital with pretty severe injuries. Questioning why shes there and what the hell happened to her. For those of you who dont like violent, dark stories this isnt for you. This is also a ROLIVIA fanfic so if ya dont ship it, dont read it... Thanks enjoy... If you leave reviews please be constructive, I've never published a story, always just written them for myself..
Waking up in a hospital is one thing. But waking up and not remembering what events lead you there can be confusing as shit. As you will see that is about to happen to Detective Amanda Rollins of Manhattan SVU. She just wanted to know what happened to her. Her head hurt like fucking hell, and not to mention it felt like a damn woodpecker was taking aim at her temple. Her side hurt as well. She felt alot of pressure between her legs like she had been intimate lately, but she hadnt been and especially not with a man. But what the hell lead her here? Why was she attacked? Why was it bringing back so many memories?
What she rememebered was that morning kissing Olivia bye since Liv had to leave to get to a meeting with Chief Dodds and told Amanda she'd see her later. Since today was her day off Amanda was gonna go for a run to start her day off and then lounge around til she heard from Liv and they made their plans. They werent officially out yet to the squad but you couldnt miss the glances of adoration they gave, or the looks. If you were really trying to figure it out you could. She was on her run and next thing she knew she was waking up in the hospital.
She started to wake up and she was agitated. Why in the hell was she in this room, why was noone checking on her? She was scared, and goddamn her fucking head hurt like a son of a bitch. She noticed there was a button, it said "call nurse"she pushed the button. After she did that, she dozed back off again. She fell right back into a dream of someone holding her, restraining her...
As that was happening Olivia called to check on Amanda. The nurse had responded to her call, well the big trouble was that it was a male nurse that responded. Amanda got very agitated and was scared. She started to thrash and try to get away from his touch. He did the only thing he could do, he restrained her. By then since the nurse had told Olivia that Amanda was having a hard time and was in pain Olivia decided she was going to go down there especially after the nurse had told her that Amanda was being cared for by a male nurse. When Olivia got to the hospital she demanded to know why Amanda was being cared for by a male when it was stated that Amanda was afraid of a male. She was getting ready to head to the room when she heard a very agitated and scared woman yelling, she broke into a soft run. When she got to the room she saw Amanda was restrained to the bed and the male nurse was telling her to quit her shit. She was about to haul off and head butt him. She wanted this nurse away from her. Wanted him to quit touching her. "Get the fuck off of me. Get away from me, Stop touching me." Liv scowled and raised her voice. "Excuse me, but why are you here? It was stated that she was to have female nurses and doctors only. And another good fucking question, why the fuck is my girlfriend in restraints?" He looked turned around and saw a tall brunette glaring at him, "this patient here is giving me a hard time. She pushed the "call nurse" button and I responded. She got all hostile kicking me, hitting me, attempting to bite and me and even headbutt me. I had to put restraints on her to protect myself. I am within my rights." Olivia snarled at him "She is a hurt, scared, traumatized woman for fucks sake." He looked at her. "Well then if you think you can get her to take her meds that she called for, you do it. I give up. I dont need the stress and aggravation of this patient." After saying that he thrust the medication cup into Olivia's hand and left the room."
Amanda was is in total confusion. Was Olivia really here? Or was it her mind playing tricks so she would trust the male nurse and let him do whatever the hell he wanted to her. She was scared shitless and her head hurt like hell. The pain was worse than the throbbing in her rib cage, yeah broken ribs hurt like a bitch too. What she wanted was who she trusted a bit, and was learning to trust more and more. She knew Liv wouldnt hurt her, but if it all came down to it would she betray her trust or stay loyal to her trust? She didnt think so, but in her past she had been betrayed so much.
Amanda woke up completely to seeing Liv. She was happy. Liv asked her how she was feeling and Amanda was a tad bit touchy. After all she was in restraints and couldnt get up. She snapped. "How does it look like I feel Olivia? Im in fucking restraints and I cant even tell you why. Im in the hosptital and I know bits and pieces of some of the things that happened." Amanda looked at her. "Can someone get these fucking restraints off me. Why the hell are they on me?" Liv got fed up with the fact she was in them and took out her knife. When Amanda saw it she freaked out. "Ill-Ill-shutup-pl-please-do-dont-dont-use-th-th-that-on-on-me. I'll-I'll-behave-I promise." Olivia didnt understand what made Amanda think she would hurt her with the knife. She spoke softly as to not scare Amanda. "Amanda, sweetie, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to get these restraints off of you. Please let me do that. I promise you I am not going to hurt you." Olivia asked again to cut the restraints off. Amanda nodded with tears in her eyes. She softly muttered "please." After she got the restraints off Amanda she went to hug her girlfriend only to find that the touch and close proximity was not wanted at the time. As Olivia went to wrap her arms around her lady Amanda freaked out. She itched back closer to her pillow. She snarled at Liv. "Dont touch me. You hear me DONT TOUCH ME. Why the fuck is everyone so touchy feely. Dont any of you realize when I back off that I dont want the touch. Its not welcome. Back off." Olivia backed off immediately. She couldnt help but have a look of hurt in her eyes. She spoke apologetically "Amanda Im sorry. I didnt mean to upset you. I just wanted to hug you to support you and show I care." Amanda's head was starting to hurt, she was getting bitchy as hell too. "Well I dont want to be touched. Im in pain, in a hospital, you promised you keep me safe and you didnt. How do you want me to feel?" Olivia now had tears in her eyes. She completely blamed herself for taking the call from 1PP and not getting to Amanda in time to save her. "Im sorry Amanda, I really am. I never wanted this to happen to you. I wanted to help you. You're my girlfriend for christsake." Amanda looked at her, tears in her eyes. "You know what. Just go. Get the hell out of here. I want to be alone. Just go!" Amanda turned away from Liv with tears in her eyes. She quickly took her pills and waited til Liv left to drift off into sleep.
Olivia reluctantly went home. Trying to desperately figure out her interaction with her girlfriend. She knew her girlfriend had just went through a traumatic experience. She just didnt know how much Amanda remembered after her head injury. She took a pretty bad bash to the head. What had gone on was they had been questioning a perp. This was the day before she was attacked. They reluctantly had to let him go cause they had nothing to hold him on. He must have found her on her run in the am before work. When Amanda hadnt shown up to work Liv got worried. Fin told her that he hadnt seen Amanda and wasnt able to get in contact with her. As Carisi was having TARU track her cell, Olivia got the call that her detective was found in Central Park with a head head wound, ripped pants and unconscious, victim of a possible rape. They wouldnt know until Amanda woke up. Why would Amanda throw her out like that?
Amanda woke up in that cold hospital room. Oh why had she kicked Liv out? What the hell was wrong with her? Olivia wasnt going to want to be with her anymore especially when she found out how weak she was. How could she have been unfaithful. Her head still pounded and all she wanted was Liv there to hold her hand. She buzzed a nurse to come in and give her the cell phone in her jacket. She wanted to call Liv but was afraid of her hanging up. They were known to have heated arguments, but she yelled at Liv and kicked her out. She tearfully texted her
"Liv, Im sorry for being such a bitch. Im scared and alone in here. I dont want to bother you but can you please come back? I dont feel safe and I dont trust them sending more male nurses in. Please..."
Amanda leaned back and waited to see if she'd get a response, though she didnt deserve one. She turned on the tv for some noise, she hated the buzzing noise from the machines. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be in the safety of Liv's arms. She ended up nodding back off, tears drying on her cheeks. As soon as Liv had gotten her text she had hopped in the car and headed back over to the hospital. Yeah she was hurt from before but she couldnt and wouldnt abandon Amanda. When she got there she saw her sleeping, fragile girlfriend, pain evident in her fluttering eyelids or was it a dream? Liv would soon enough find out.
Amanda yells out "Dont touch me. Leave me alone. I want Liv, wheres Liv?" You could hear her start to cry. Olivia spoke softly as to not spook the woman anymore. "Sweetheart I am here. Wake up for me." Amanda's eyes fluttered more, the thrashing she was doing was making the machines send off alerts and nurses were coming down to the room. They started coming in. Amanda woke up. She yelled at them to leave her alone. "IM FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT WANT TO BE TOUCHED." They looked at her, looked at Liv and left. Amanda then looked over and saw that Liv was there, she was really hearing her voice. She rolled up her eyes to keep the tears back, voice breaking "You-you really came back. Liv I'm sorry for being a bitch. Im sorry for everything." Oh how badly Liv wanted to take the scared, timid blonde in her arms and comfort her, but from the last encounter she didnt think the touch would be wanted. She instead asked "Sweetheart is there something I can do for you? Something you want or need me to do for you?" Amanda looked at her, chewing on her lip, fuck how could she ask to be in her arms after being such a bitch. She didnt have that right, but being in Liv's arms was where she felt safe. "Liv can you hold me please? I know I'm filthy but I cant shake the not feeling safe. Please Liv?" That was all Olivia needed. Her heart warmed that her girlfriend still felt safe in her arms. She pulled the rail down and got in the bed beside the blonde. "You make yourself comfortable and Ill adjust to you." Amanda curled on the side where the broken ribs were on the top and laid her head on Livs chest. Amanda muttered thank you. She also muttered "I love you" but she did it very low so it wasnt heard. Though it was kinda heard or at least felt cause Liv kissed the top of her head and held her close. The doctor came in to do a routine check and was glad to see Amanda finally getting some solid rest. Even though co-sleeping in the hospital was frowned upon, this was the most relaxed Amanda had been since arriving there. Liv saw her and the nurse let her know if all continued to go well the rest of the night Amanda would be discharged in the morning.
The dream was back.. More detailing... the man was hurting her, had her restrained. He was ripping her pants down. She was begging him to stop, he just kept going. Whistling as he continued on. She kneed him hard. Her knee connected with his ribcage. He howled in pain. Snarling "you bitch, you're gonna get it." He yanked her pants off hard. She was screaming. "Get the fuck off me. I said no" He laughed again and got pushed up a bit to push his pants down. It all happened so fast, it was litterally a blur, next thing she knew he was inside her. He was rough and she could feel herself being ripped. He lasted few minutes and then he whispered in her ear "this is what you get for being a slut."
She was thrashing around. Liv felt sudden kicks and scratches. She held Amanda a lil tighter. Amanda started begging to be let go. Liv softly spoke "Amanda sweetie, wake up, hes not here. Im here, its me Olivia." It took a few moments for Amanda to wake up.
Amanda was startled to say the least. She started speaking "Pressure, so much pressure. So rough. It hurts. Im bleeding... Im bleeding..." She fell back into hysterical tears. Liv stroked shoulders and arms. "Sweetie you're okay." Amanda looked up at her. "Liv, he did rape me didnt he?" Oh how Olivia's heart broke for the blonde in her arms. Liv held onto her girlfriend, she didnt want to be the one who broke this news to her. "Babe this is the last thing I wanted to tell you. Yes you were baby girl. And we will catch the son of a bitch." Amanda started to cry. "So my thoughts were right? I was unfaithful to you?" Amanda broke out of Liv's hold, tearfully speaking "Liv, I was unfaithful, I broke your trust. How can you want to be with me?" Liv just kept stroking her shoulders. Unsure of what to say at the moment.
Amanda fell back to sleep which was what she needed. Liv was hoping she could come home. But who's home would they stay at? Oh well they would figure it out in the morning.