Um I haven't written in 4ever so if this sucks ya w/e anyway Sasuke is on house arrest so he can't leave the house. And this is BASED on the song 'If you were Gay' in the Broadway production Avenue Q, I changed some of the lines so it would fit talking instead of singing…if you haven't heard the song then you HAVE to! It's funny as hell … and for those who have heard it … hehe
Warning: OC-ness hints of Naru/Sasu I guess but its more like Before they tell and Naruto is just flirting
Disclaimer: ….if I owned 'Naruto' then Sasuke would be a whore for Naruto and Itachi and Sasuke would be in a mini skirt ... and a tube top ... and –goes off with a nosebleed-
The Uchiha mansion was exceptionally quiet. Its gloomy feeling had been stripped since the two occupants had moved in. Once certain blonde had brought that lively feel slowly back into its once sorrow filled shadows, but at that moment he was no where in sight leaving the other in free silence.
"Ah and afternoon alone with my favorite book," The Uchiha prodigy sinking into a big leather couch,"No Naruto to bother me how can it get any better than this?" He was about to sink deeper and begin reading when he heard the distinctive noise of a door slam and a shout only matched by the loudest ninja in all of Kohona.
"Sasu-teme I'm Home!"
"Dobe" Sasuke just groaned out, the book he had covered up his face as he tried disappearing into the chair, he didn't feel like dealing with the hyper man just yet.
"Hey Sasuke! You'll Never guess what happened to me in the village this morning!" Naruto jumped onto the couch Sasuke was sinking in and he beamed, Bright blue eyes staring down on the other like he was up to something yet just wanted to spread the news to his favorite Uchiha.
"You skipped your ramen feast?" Sarcasm dripped down from the pretty boy's lips as he glared as the other took over in his personal bubble.
"Don't insult my ramen you bastard!" The blonde glared, but instantly perked back up. His mood swings were almost scary sometimes. "No really, this guy was Smilin' at me and Takin'to me."
"Hn very interesting dobe" Sasuke turned onto his side trying to get away from that gaze. Something about that gaze gave him the shivers deep inside.
"He was being real friendly too, and I think he was coming onto me! I think he may have thought I was gay." Naruto was looking ahead at that time and he missed the tense man under him. Clearing his throat, Sasuke put on a glare.
"So...why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?" Sasuke was back buried in the book, more to hide his face because he wasn't able to read anymore. Naruto had a tendency to make others forget about relaxing.
"Don't change the subject teme," Naruto lightly punched his arm earning a glare. "Doesn't matter, you don't have to get all defensive ab-" Sasuke cut him off raising his voice slightly.
"I Am Not Getting Defensive! … Why do I care about some gay guy you met? I am Trying to read" An annoyed look was the last thing Naruto saw before the book was back in his face.
"Well I didn't mean anything by it Sasuke. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about." Sasuke missed a mischievous smirk grazing the others lips.
"Well I don't want to talk about it Naruto ... this conversation is over."
"Ya but-"
"Over!" Sasuke was glaring over the book again, and Naruto matched his look with a smirk.
"Well ok Sasuke, but I just want to let you know that if You were gay that would be totally ok! I mean hey! I'll still like ya anyway 'cause you see if it were me," Naruto leaned back on the couch, hiding his amusement from his face except from his eyes as he watched the others eyes start widening. "I would so just say that I was gay, but I'm not gay" Naruto snickered as the Uchiha held his head in his hands.
"Naruto…just shut up now. I am Trying to read" Instead, the blonde leaned over pinning the boy under his body. "What are yo-"
"Now if you were queer"
"Ugh, Naruto …!"
"I would still be here with yas." Naruto then snatched the book from the others hands.
"Naruto! I was reading that!"
"Year after year," Sasuke was growling by now, but Naruto refused to let him up.
"Dobe!"
"Because your so dear to me wittle Sasuke-chan" Naruto laughed as the other thrashed and began twitching at the name. Eventually Sasuke shoved the other off and made a bee line to his room but Naruto leaped off the couch and tackled the other before he made another step. "Nah!" Sasuke was glaring hard at the floor beneath him, as Naruto got comfy on top of the other.
"And I'd know that you…" Naruto looked down smirking when the other turned his head.
"I would what?"
"You would accept me too duh! If I yelled 'Hey Guess What I'm Gay!' but I'm not gay."
"I would?" Naruto laughed at the other, who was actually being serious 'Would I? no I wouldn't of course not!' "Gah Naruto just shut up!"
Sasuke was twitching once again and Naruto only grinned down on him, "You know I'm happy just being with ya's Sasuke."
"Naruto. Get. Off."
"Good! So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!" Naruto made the conversation act as if it was over tea, but Sasuke groaned.
"Naruto," Blushing now, "that is so wrong…!"
"No it's not! See if you were gay," He smirked when he heard Sasuke groan. "I'd shout hooray!"
"I am not listening."
"and I'd stay right here with you!" By now Sasuke had his ears covered, but the ninja's voice above him was just too loud so he started humming loudly. Naruto smirked and moved his fingers lightly across his sides laughing when he heard a yelp and immediately stopped his humming.
"You can count on me, to Always be beside ya every day to tell you its ok you were just born that way."
"Hey!"
"Hey it's in your DNA! I mean c'mon!"
"I am so going to kill you." Naruto jumped up from on top of the other and started running to the front door. Sasuke was following close behind so he could catch him before he left.
"I am Not gay dobe!" Naruto jumped outside and smirked as he other stood right in the door way glaring, since he couldn't leave Naruto was perfectly safe from Sasuke's physical attacks but didn't expected the other to end up blasting a huge ball of fire at him.
"Ah! I meant if! If you were gay!" Laughing as the other glared and raced as if to the village, but a clone was standing by the door was undetected and smirked wide when he heard the last words of the Uchiha.
"…so what if I'm gay." Naruto was going to be a happy ramen filled boy when he told Tsunade that.
How was it? Review ppl! I would like to keep writing and reviews are very helpful. Like more than those one words things, 'omg that was funny more!' ya those kinda don't tell me anything…but they are nice –nods- Review and I could do a sequel! Idk what about but I May idk yet…-shrugs and goes off humming song-