Olivia sat in her office. Damn Amanda for putting those thoughts in her head. Now she was sitting there hot and bothered and couldnt do a damn thing about it, cause if she called Amanda back in of course everyone would know what they were up to. Would Amanda always keep her on her toes?

Amanda out at her desk, in a way happy that she teased Liv, but in a way hoping that she didnt aggravate her girlfriend either. Her mind was thinking, not just of pleasing her girlfriend and the mind blowing sex she wanted to have, but what was instore for their future. They were committed to one another yes, but they lived in different apartments, and had a place to go if and when they got pissed off. She kinda wanted something more, if it made sense. She wasnt sure if it was more maybe getting their own place together. Not just moving into either apartment, really finding a new place that they get together and start building from there. She sure as fuck wasnt the easiest to live with thats for sure. She was quite messy and disorganized. Fucking hell why was she putting all this in her mind now. There was no need to do this to herself. She loved Liv and Liv loved her and thats all she needed.

Amanda made herself nervous with her thoughts. She tried to concentrate on more information for TARU. Just wasnt happening. Fin caught her pretty much staring into space. TARU had called her back. She was so into her thoughts that Fin snapped at her to get her attention, that didnt work. He put TARU on hold and waved the phone at Amanda. "Hey Rollins, you gonna take this call?" Amanda shook her head and refocused, looking at Fin. "Oh yeah, sorry Fin." She took the phone. Fin just smirked at her. He knew she was thinking bout Liv and what not, he'd tease her later. The phone call ended abruptly with Amanda yelling "I've done my damn job, Do your FUCKING job." After she had said that she slammed the phone down. Fin looked at her "Everything okay Boo?" Amanda nodded, "I just need some air. If they call again tell them I dont want to hear back until they get me the information that I need." Fin nodded.

Amanda went outside. She needed a damn cigarette. She was stressed the hell out and she didnt know how to deal with it. As she was lighting up she heard the door open up and she saw her love. Olivia walked over to her. She could see that Amanda was stressed out big time, esp where she hadnt seen Amanda smoke a cigarette in a really long time. Liv touched her hand "Hey Manda, you okay? Fin told me you got really aggravated earlier. I wanted to come and check on you. Honey smoking that isnt gonna help." Amanda felt like she was being babysat rather than Liv's girlfriend. "Look Olivia you didnt come out to check on me, you came out to nitpick. You can leave now." Amanda scowled and took another drag of her cigarette. "Look just let me be. I dont need to be babysat." Olivia let go of her hand. "Okay Amanda. I'll see you inside. If you decide to come in while I'm still here." Olivia walked back inside.

Amanda went back to her desk after a few minutes. She had only taken one drag of the cigarette and Liv was on her ass. Like what the fuck? She didnt gamble any more, and she couldnt fuck her girlfriend in the office, when she was stressed out she needed a release and that was the release she chose. Next thing she knew Tucker stopped by, what the hell was he doing here? He and Liv used to be an item not long before she and Liv got together. She didnt wanna look in that office. She glanced as she was typing the final notes on her report and comparing what TARU finally sent her. She saw Liv hugging Tucker. "Why the fuck was she hugging the asshole?" This is not what she needed to see today. She was in some mood today. Why was she all over the place? First she wanted to make love to her girlfriend in her office and was in a playful, sexual mood. Then went to frustrated, then it's frustrated, confused and hurt. She looked up again and saw Tucker kissing Liv. Now she was pissed the fuck off. All the while she's thinking 'what the fuck Liv? my smoking pissed you off that bad you have to kiss Tucker?' What Amanda wasnt seeing was Liv pushing him away and slapping him. She got up from her desk. Fin looked at her, "Manda". She rolled her eyes up, "Fin leave me be, I need to get out of here." She took off quickly, Fin was wondering what the fuck was going on. He saw Liv walking out with Tucker. The expression on Liv's face was surely not happy. You could see her scanning the room to see where Amanda was. "Tucker don't come back here to harass me. It's done, we are done." Tucker looked at her scowled and left. Liv looked around for Amanda but didnt see her. She was confused, it was past lunchtime and usually her and Manda joined each other for lunch. She looked over to Fin, "Hey Fin, you know where Amanda went?" He looked, dammitt he hated being in the middle. He decided to play it safe and keep his partners back. "I didnt see where she went Liv. Maybe she went to TARU personally to get what she needed."

Liv went back to her office, wondering what the hell was up with her girlfriend. She couldnt work anymore cause her mind was on Amanda. She walked out to say good night to her staff and tell them to go on home. She text Amanda to see where she was "Hey love, just got off work. Where are you?" Hoping Amanda would at least answer her text, she wasnt sure if she would. Amanda was in a wierd mood and she couldnt figure it out. Amanda had gone back to apartment. She was all over the place today and she didnt even want to be around herself. But come on Liv kissing Tucker what the fuck? She couldnt get over that. That hurt. Why would she do that? After everything they had been through. Oh she saw Liv's text and she didnt want to respond, Liv wouldnt come looking for her anyway. She'd be too busy sucking face with Tucker. Amanda got herself all fired up. She sent Liv a response. "Oh you text me now, after sucking face with Tucker? What the fuck Liv? I'm not good enough. Six fucking months, six months..."

"Oh shit" Liv thought as she got Amanda's text. She had seen the kiss. "Oh what the fuck." She text Manda back. "Babe, it is not what that looked like. You need to let me explain. Where are you?" Amanda thought to herself "not what it looked like my ass. I'm not stupid." She text Liv back. "I wanna be alone tonight. Explain what? I saw you hugging him and kissing him. I cant do this Olivia. I cant do this shit tonight. Have had too much on my mind as it is." Amanda was hurt. She felt betrayed. This betrayal she felt was the worst. Liv knew all her secrets, her past and she turned around and did this. Yup this always happened to her. Always. It goes good for a while and then it takes the shitter. Well Liv looked at her phone. 'I cant just sit here. I have to make things right.' Sixth sense told her that Amanda went to her apartment. She headed over to the apartment. She wasnt going to lose Amanda over a misunderstanding. Oh how she could kill Tucker right now. Son of a bitch, things were going so well. What the hell happened? Was it cause she was thinking of wanting to move in with Amanda and make things permanent?

Amanda was sitting at her apartment with a bottle of beer and the Falcons game on. She really wasnt paying attention to the game, it was just noise. She was lost in her own thoughts. "Why did Liv do this? She loved her right? She said she did. Did she say that just to get what she wanted? Did she say it to get Amanda where she wanted so she could tear her down? Why, why was this happening?" She sat there with the vivid memories of her and Liv being intimate, the memories of after her assault when Amanda finally opened up. She had the tears running down her cheeks. Fucking tears betraying her. She continued to think. Goddamn game wasnt doing its job and distracting her. How could the love of her life do this to her? Hadnt she been a good girlfriend? She had been loyal. She ended up dozing off holding her phone, looking at a pic of her and Liv.

Olivia was on her way over to Amanda's apartment. She knew by the way Amanda texted her that she wasnt welcome, but she was going anyway. Liv loved her. She didnt want to lose her. She couldnt lose her. She knew Amanda had major trust issues. Goddammitt why did Tucker kiss her? They were done, she didnt want that again. She felt different with Amanda, almost like she was revived, fresh even. Why the hell did Amanda have to see that? Why the hell had she started in on Amanda when she saw her smoking? For fucks sake all she wanted to do was cuddle up to her girlfriend when she got home from work. Now she was chasing that very girlfriend down in her own apartment to talk to her. She also wanted to talk to her about possibly giving up their own apartments and finding a place together. She got to Amanda's apartment and braced herself cause she didnt know if Amanda was going to lash out, throw her ass out or let her in and just be silent.

Here goes nothing. She dug out the key that Manda gave her. She was kinda leary but she wanted to know what was up with Amanda. She opened up the door. She saw that the tv was going, and a small form curled up on the futon. She locked the door. Amanda jumped up at hearing the sound of the click. "What.. Who's there?" Her hair was all tousled and you could tell she was in a deep sleep. Olivia looked at her "Babe, it's me. I used my key." Amanda rolled her eyes. "Of course you did. Didnt you get I didnt want you here? I wanted to be alone. Besides you were kissing Tucker." Amanda scowled and hissed, "You Olivia Benson were kissing Tucker. Of all people. All people Liv. Your ex. The ex before me." Olivia knew Amanda was upset. "Amanda, all I wanna do is talk. I want to tell you what happened. That whole shit with that asshole. I want to tell you from me what the hell happened. I know what you saw, what you think you saw. Please Amanda." Amanda sighed, "Have at it Liv. Let's hear what you have to say." Olivia sat down on the chair. She wanted to sit with Amanda, wanted to hold her and talk to her. Wanted to hold her and reassure her.

Amanda saw Liv sitting there fiddling with her hands. "Look Liv, can you just spill it. I'm not in the mood and I wanna go back to sleep." Liv took a deep breath. "Ok Amanda what you saw wasnt what all happened." Amanda snarled, "So just fucking tell me." Liv got up and moved closer to Manda. "Manda, he kissed me. I hugged him yes cause he said he was going through something, and to show some sympathy and understanding I hugged him. We parted on decent terms. But I in no way kissed him. That shit took me by surprise. What you didnt see was the fact that I slapped the shit out of him. I left my office and came looking for you. Fin said he didnt know where you went when I asked him. But babe, I came looking for you. You're my girlfriend, I didnt want Tucker kissing me. He's not who's lips I want to feel on mine. Yours are the only ones I want to feel babe. You Amanda Marie Rollins." Amanda closed her eyes, a tear betraying her and slipping down her cheek. Liv moved a bit closer to her. She gently wiped that tear away. "Amanda, look I love you, I dont wanna lose you. Idid not willingly kiss Tucker. I dont have feelings for the man. I have feelings for one person, that person happens to be the one sitting next to me right now." Olivia took hold of Amanda's hand, Amanda was reluctant at first but she let her. She was angry with the brunette, but her love for her at the same time let her give in a bit. Liv spoke again. "I am so sorry for how that looked Amanda. To you that must have looked like the ultimate betrayal, but it so wasnt. I would never conscientiously hurt you. Never in a million years. Sweetheart I love you." Amanda looked at Liv. "I know you do Liv. It just hurt. Hurt alot especially after you got so pissed at me for smoking a cigarette. It was a stress release, I've had alot on my mind." Liv brought Amanda's hand that she was holding up to her lips and gently kissed it. "Tell me baby. Tell me what's on your mind."

Amanda looked at Liv, "there's just been alot. With the things I've told you about my past. My wondering if I'm good enough for you. Before you say it, I know you say I am Liv, it's just a matter of me feeling it. I've never had a positive loving relationship." Liv moved closer pulling the small blonde in her arms, expecting a fight cause she knew Amanda was pissed, but Amanda didnt fight her, nor did she stiffen up either. "Babe and we can and will work on that. I've got all the time and patience needed." Amanda looked at her. "I appreciate that Liv. Ok point blank where are we going in this relationship? We have been together for six months. Are we just gonna keep dating or are we going to cement our relationship?" Liv looked confused. "What do you mean Amanda? We are dating exclusively." Amanda took a deep breath, she wanted to know what the future was going to hold. "My question really is, when are we going to get rid of the apartments, say fuck it and get a place. I say get rid of the apartments so we dont have anywhere run when we fight and we have to face our problems head on. Thats what has been on my mind."

So Amanda wants to get a place all their own. What do you think will happen? And what bout that shit with Tucker, will Amanda forgive it, or will it continue to bother her?