A/N- This was originally written for LJ's fma_fic_contest Prompt 159- Ripple.
Series: All, I suppose- takes place during the Ishval War
Warnings: Self-loathing/ suicidal thoughts
Disclaimer: I thought that I created Fullmetal Alchemist, but then I woke up.
*0*0*0*
Today's objective was to destroy- totally and irrevocably- the already wrecked agora and the people in it. A few remaining Ishvalans had continued to congregate in the ruins and attempt to exchange necessities… if and when they had them. Order 3066 would not let that go on any longer.
So many people had died. Too many by his own hand. It would never end.
He and his squad moved cautiously toward the target. He wanted to stand up and scream and attract his own killer. That could get his men hurt, so he didn't. Just an excuse for not killing myself, he thought.
He turned to gaze back at the distant sniper towers that seemed to ripple as if sunk in a disturbed pond. He knew that it was varying densities of air bending light that caused the effect, but it still made him feel dreamlike and then too awake. Riza Hawkeye was probably up there, and it was because of him. That almost made him hate himself more than the deaths he had caused did.
More Ishvalans were about to die, because of him. He wished he had the stones to snap and engulf himself in his damned flames. He had seen photographs of Xingese priests who had self-immolated during the Mong wars. But he lived and others died. I'm a killer and a coward.
He felt so hot that he thought he might die, but he was so cold that he feared he would live.
*0*0*0*
A/N- I write a lot of fluffy Royai, because Roy and Riza really resonate with me, but I do see their dark sides, especially Roy's. He really has a lot to answer for. Thanks for reading. I hoped you enjoyed. Take care.