If I had ever been here
before
I would probably know just what to do
Don't
you?
Trudging through the empty hallways behind Snyder, Buffy found herself hearing one of Giles' weird old albums playing in her sleep-deprived head. She didn't know what the song was called, and she supposed now she never would. Something about the song had made her almost seasick the first time she heard it – considering Giles' creepy taste in music, she supposed the ones who recorded it were on drugs. Was this what that felt like? Her vision was blurry, her feet seemed to sink about an inch into the floor with every step...
If I had ever been here before on another time
around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With
all of you
Except she couldn't deal. She'd spent all night trying to think up a way, and every unreadable book had told her the same thing: she was no good at this. She wasn't then, and she wasn't now. It was Los Angeles all over again.
And I feel
Like
I've been here before
Not just the humiliating march to the principal's office, but the whole thing. She'd gotten Merrick, her first watcher, killed. She'd been kicked out of school, lost her friends and broken up her family. Since then, she'd thought she had come so far, only to end up right back in the same place.
We have all been here before
We have all been
here before...
She should have quit back when that was still an option. Instead she'd just failed again, and gotten Giles and Miss Calendar killed. Losing her first watcher had been a blow; this felt a thousand times worse. She thought of all the times she'd mocked Giles for being too stuffy, too square, too British; yet while she had wasted time weeping over Jenny, he had gone off to die in battle. Her battle.
We have all been here before
We
have all been here before...
She managed to lift her gaze from the floor to the man walking in front of her. She had no idea what she had done to upset Snyder this time, but apparently it was worse than usual; the little troll looked almost giddy with fury. Buffy figured she had maybe 20 minutes left as a student at Sunnydale High, but couldn't bring herself to care. One thing mattered now: get revenge. Make Angel pay. Then whatever happened, happened.
We
have all been here before
We have all been here before...
Not until she sat down in Snyder's office did she realize that she was crying. The principal sat down behind his desk, gave her a disgusted look and shoved a packet of Kleenex her way.
"God, Summers, clean yourself up. Act your age for once in your life." He looked at her, waiting for her full attention. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?"
"I suppose you do?" She couldn't help mouthing off. It just earned her a smug smile.
"Well, let's see, shall we? You whore yourself out to your dead boyfriend who turns evil and goes on a killing spree. You have the chance to stop him, instead you choose to let him go. As a result, he murders your watcher, leaving you an even more useless Slayer than before. Did I miss something?" He rolled his eyes at her shocked expression. "Please. You don't think I know what goes on in my school? I've tolerated your... extra-curricular activities as long as they didn't interfere with my business, but your antics just cost me one of my best teachers and a librarian. And I can't allow that to continue."
"So I'm expelled?" Buffy wasn't sure what part of her managed to carry on a conversation. She supposed it was shock.
"Would it were so, Summers. Would it were so." Snyder leaned back, taking a moment to enjoy the idea. "But sadly, no. However, from now on things are going to run very differently. I will be taking over as your watcher."
"YOU?" Buffy stared at him incredulously. She wanted to laugh in his face, but there was nothing funny about this. "So, what, the whole you-hating-me thing was just for show?"
"Oh no, Summers." Snyder leaned forward, staring her down. "As far as I'm concerned you're a complete failure, make no mistake about that. As a student and as a Slayer. Two watchers killed – there aren't many vampires who can boast that, let alone Slayers. But fact remains: you are the Slayer. Into each generation et cetera. And since my superiors don't want you... removed," he paused to make sure she understood exactly what that word meant, "my only option is to try to turn you into a halfway decent one."
Buffy's head was spinning. "So... you represent the council?"
"I represent a council, yes."
"And you're going to teach me to fight? You're going to teach me about ancient... stuff?"
The principal snorted, making it very clear what a stupid question she had just asked. "Please. I'm a principal, not a teacher. No, you'll have separate instructors for that, experts, not prematurely aging librarians. But I will be in charge." Snyder got up and stood over her, somehow looking a lot more intimidating than he ever had before. "I will drive you hard, Summers, and there'll be none of the pampering you're used to, but work with me and I'll make you better at your job. Oppose me, and I'll not only expel you – after all, you'd probably enjoy that – but your little friends as well. See how they'll appreciate that. Not to mention how vulnerable they'll be if you're going to try and do this yourself, because we all know by now how that turns out. Any questions?"
"Just one." Buffy Summers looked down and swallowed; Buffy the Vampire Slayer looked up and met Snyder's gaze. "Are you going to help me get Angel?"
"Yes."
"Then I'm your girl."
Author's note: the song is "Déjà Vu" by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. And yes, it does tend to make me seasick.