Chapter 3.

"Guys?" They told me to meet up with them behind the small shack we lived in. Rukia felt uncomfortable that day so they told me to stay put. They needed to get fresh water. It's funny how we ran out so quickly. A sakura petal flew by. I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me, so I went to greet them. They were not there. Instead, a small boy with freckles on his face was panting with his tongue out. I waited for him to stop panting before I touched his shoulder.

"Um, is there anything wrong?" I recognized him as one of the kids that played with us sometimes from the border of the district.

"Hisana, is that you?"

I nodded. Rukia tried to touch his little freckles, but I held her back.

"Its Sachiko...and Kiyoshi...help them!"

My eyes widened. I grabbed his arm.

"Where, where are they? What happened!"

He pointed to the south and cowardly ran away. I went south like he directed and suddenly I smelt it. I smelt the blood, the twisted scent that lingered in your nose and garments. I came to a clearing and accidentally kicked a broken jar on the ground. It said "mizu". It was a broken water jar. The trails of water lead to a red liquid that tainted the grass and smeared the dirt. Lying on the ground were the bodies of Kiyoshi and Sachiko.

"No!" I ran to their bodies, lifeless and bloody. I tried to shake them awake, but they wouldn't wake. I wouldn't smile and tell me it was a joke. They would never speak of beyond the gate again. I screamed because I knew that they would never come back...

In Rukongai, the adults and the children were different people. We were both humans, but we were never alike. In Inuzuri, the children stole from the adults and the adults punished the children. Sachiko and Kiyoshi were victims. Adults can be so cruel at times like these. I learned from witnesses that they were fetching water from the vendors again. This man, he was cruel. He wanted to punish them, so he would set an example for all minors. Never steal from the adults again. It was either you die from his hands, or you died from thirst, hunger and despair.

Life after that moment got worse as time passed. Usually there was little, but a decent amount of supplies going around. Recently, there had been a wave of death in Rukongai. People were dying. You would think that this would be good for the rest of us because there would be more food, but that wasn't the case. The food got contaminated. Water became poisonous and the wind constantly was filled with dust and debris. No one knew the source of this, but the fact was that the people of Inuzuri were dying and survival became harder and harder. Rukia was still young and I was still only a girl. During this terror, even the children became loners. No one dared to share the things they had. It came as low as adults stealing from children and children stealing amongst themselves. I lived for myself and Rukia. That's what I told myself, but the pain was too great and the burden became heavy on my back.

I was walking on the street, carrying Rukia on my back. The sun was blocked by gusts of sands. I looked to my left and saw the people quietly sitting on the dirt. Some moaned and some slept. They seemed to all want death. I looked forward and resisted sitting down like all of them. I was searching for something, anything that would help me. I felt an enormous force push me down and I landed on my stomach. How long will this last? That's what I was thinking. Rukia turned in her sleep. I took her off my back and held her up towards the sky. Rukia was everything to me, but I couldn't bear her weight.

Abandon...

I wanted to just punch myself for thinking such disgusting thoughts. I didn't know what to do. I glanced at the depressing figures of Inuzuri. I couldn't be like them. Tears ran down my face and I wiped them with my sleeve. I walked to an alley and kneeled down onto the down.

"Rukia. I always loved you. I still love you now," I said. "But I can't..."

I tore a piece of my dress off and with the grime of the wall and the dirt on the floor, I wrote: My name is Rukia.

I attached it to her and patted her hair. Tears kept flowing and I desperately wiped them off.

"I'm so sorry...Rukia!"

With that, I ran away. These tears, they couldn't stop. I couldn't stop sobbing endlessly. From now on, I told myself, that I would live because I had to. Moments and memories will pass me by and I told myself that I would live through all of it.

"Live, Rukia."

I sat on a box in the streets. Some boys were playing nearby and I watched them, having nothing else to do. It calmed me a bit, watching children play. It didn't remind me of the tough times that we had.

"Watch Kenta!" He pushed his open hand forward. A small light appeared in the center after a short while. I became alert when I saw that smaller shimmer of yellow light.

"Wow! Wow!" His friends applauded. I switched my view into my own open hand. Reiatsu...I tried with all my might to make any kind of spark.

"Come on..."

Nothing happened. I only felt a sharp burning sensation on my palm. I sighed, but I decided not to give up hope.

So every day I would practice building up my strength. I tried to exert all my power into my hands. While I did, I would stare at the gate. I mustn't lose the game, I told myself. Spark. Spark, please. No spark...

"Damn."

The morning after training for a few days, I stopped to sit down on the street. I watched a poor vendor trying to sell what was left of his good merchandise. No one had the money to buy it anyways. A moment later, I saw a timid girl hiding behind an empty water barrel. She was tearing and her lips were trembling. I stared at her for some minutes before she dashed forward and tried to grab a small meal from the table. The man caught her by the arm and threw her against the wall.

"Trying to filch from me, you stinkin' bastard!"

"Stop!" I cried. "She's just a girl!"

He pinned her against the wall. I got up and ran a little closer.

"Pff. We don't show mercy to any child. Stealers aren't wanted here. Heck, we are all in poverty. This girl...I wouldn't mind eating her up."

My whole body felt a sensation go up the spine.

"You! You're sick! Please, just stop it!"

He ran for me after he released the girl's neck. I got hold of my neck instead and his fingernails dug into my skin. I could see it in his eyes. He was losing his sense of morality. He was losing to the darkness that collided with Inuzuri. I couldn't breathe when he choked me and squirming didn't help.

"Stop it! Stop it!"

His hold on me was still intense until I felt like passing out. The girl behind him was screaming and crying. My breathing got heavier. Stop it... Stop it.

"Stop it!" I felt a wave of energy got past my arm. It went through my fingertips...and out came a flash of light. It blinded him for a moment and that was when I grabbed the girl and ran for my life.

"So sorry...I'm so very sorry."

I rubbed the area where he pierced with his fingernails. It stung a bit, but it was nothing.

"You should be careful. People won't hesitate to kill children nowadays." I looked up into the sky. "I've learned that already."

She gave me a small smile of gratitude, but suddenly the shadow of a person appeared. I gasped and pulled her next to be, staring at a man dressed in a black shihakushou and carrying a large bag. He looked down at me and the girl beside me.

"What...what do you want?"

He reached inside his bag and pulled out a wooden box. Inside was a small cup of miso soup, rice and bento. I looked at it and then at the man. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't impatient either. I took the wooden box and gave the soup to the girl. I tasted the food and looked down at the floor.

"You were that girl that blinded the vendor, am I right?"

"I..."

"It's all right. You are not in trouble, though you should be more responsible for your actions."

He gave me a firm stare that made me nod.

"Reiatsu, you've heard of it right?"

"Yes."

"Just then you had a spurt of spirit power. You are gifted with it, I'm sure. I'm now recruiting students to attend the Shinigami Academy. At these times, we think it is best to try to save those that can be of use to us."

"So am I just a pawn?"

"No, but you aren't nobility either. I invite you to attend this year's testing to see if you have enough power to attend the school."

He gave me a white card.

"Do not lose it. The test will be a day after the week from today. When that day comes, present this card to the man situated at the Shuwai Gate. If you are tardy, then we won't give you another chance until next year."

He turned around and walked the opposite direction. I held the card to my eyes and read it over and over again. The girl was drinking the soup quietly in her own little world. I ate some of the rice and emptied the contents of the wooden box into her lap. I left her, only taking the card and box with me. As I walked...a sakura petal flew by and I caught it.

The following week, I walked into the clearing and presented my card to the shinigami standing at the gate. There were some other children around me, whispering quietly amongst their own. The gate slowly opened and I gasped. There wasn't anything like magnificent fountains of sake, or buildings made out of gold, but the impression I had here was entirely different then from Rukongai. Here, everything was peaceful, sincere and favorable. Some shinigami were walking side by side and laughing. A man with silver-white hair smiled and waved at us.

I gave a small wave back.

We headed to a building. It wasn't the academy, but it was something else.

"All applicants will receive a towel and soap."

I blushed. That's what he meant. We weren't in the best condition, I admitted. We really did need to wash. I headed towards an area for women and girls to clean up. It was moderately clean in there, only a few unknown hairs were on the floor. It was refreshing though. I didn't bathe like this since when I was still alive in the real world. The smell of soap and steam soothed my aching body. My body, I was scratched in numerous places and my feet were rough from years of running barefoot. The scars and bruises were from stealing, falling and fighting with the adults. After we cleaned up, we were given new clothes. Mine was a limp blue kimono with a simple pattern of vines and little flower buds. Still, it was better than most of the things I had to wear in Rukongai. We were left in a small building with a day of grace before taking the test.

I was tired from the events that occured that day. Everything was going very fast. Tomorrow I could become a shinigami. I could live a better life and worry less about the dangers of the streets. Though I thought of these wonderful things, a pain struck my soul. There was a lingering ache, a hole in my heart that kept me from feeling happy.

"Rukia."

She still haunted my mind. I got up from the chair I was sitting on to look outside. Some of the other kids were practicing expressing their spirit power. I was amazed by how much their hands lit up. I came downstairs and tried it myself. I tried to think of strong thoughts, but there was no spark. I thought of happier things, but still there was nothing. A girl about my age walked up to me and smiled.

"Having some trouble?"

I felt like she was teasing me, but I hesitated to shout.

"I was like that too. For some people, I think, you need to think of the right thoughts." She released a moderate sized ball of energy. "When I feel pain and when I think of all the things I've been through, I am able to do it. You can try that."

I looked at my hands. Pain, she said. I stretched my hand out and thought of pain. There was the pain of my mother dying, my father deserting us, living on the streets alone, the death of my friends, the weight of living and...the guilt of leaving Rukia. An enormous power came from my hands. My whole body vibrated like never before. The girl beside me fell, covering her eyes with the back of her hand. I stopped the thoughts pouring into my head and helped her up.

"Wow, you're good! What did you think of?"

I looked at her sadly and shook my head. I couldn't tell this stranger the things that I've been through. I put my hand on her shoulder and left to go rest.

The next morning, we lined up to enter the testing room. It was a huge circular room with individual platforms. Teachers were standing patiently next to each platform. I was assigned to a man with a long beard and with small eyeglasses.

"Ms. Hisana, we will test your reiatsu if it meets standards. It is a simple test, really. You will receive three trials."

I nodded and concentrated my energy on my hand. Pain, I thought. What I lost and what I will never have back. A big ball of light sppeared and I smiled. The smile seemed to deflate the orb a little, but the old man continued nodding anyways.

"Wonderful, your levels have been processed and we will notify the board of your score. In the meantime, please, you may take a seat. We will send you back to the applicant quarters until the results come in."

I nodded and wiped a drop of sweat from my forehead. He smiled. I bowed and walked away from the platform. This is it, I told myself. I was going to be a shinigami...

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1. shihakushou - The japanese name for the clothing that Shinigami wear. It sports a white undershirt, black kimono, a hakama (dresspants) and a white sash.