Vivir
By: Ceriadara
Two Years Later
Kai opened his crimson eyes slowly, scanning the room as the haze of sleep left him. From his position in a chair in a far corner of the tiny, cramped, hospital room, he surveyed the moonlit scene.
The White Tigers had flown in from China only a few days ago for their monthly visit to see Rei. They were currently in various positions around the room – Lee collapsed in a chair much like Kai's (and probably just as uncomfortable), Mariah curled up on the hard, cold couch with a jacket over her legs, Gary draped over a loveseat, and Kevin curled up on a pillow on the floor. That couldn't possibly be comfortable.
Near the chair where Lee sat, Takao and Max lay against the wall, both sound asleep. Max's head was on Takao's shoulders, Takao resting his head on the blonde's. Beside them Kenny slumped, using his laptop as a pillow. That couldn't be too comfortable either, but Kai really couldn't find it in himself to care.
Taking care not to wake any of the others, he crossed the room and quietly slipped out into the dimly lit hallway, which was brightly, painfully lit with white fluorescent lights during normal hours. He knew that they were lucky to have such an influential force – namely the BBA – on their side, or else they would have been barely able to see Rei.
He stole quietly down the hallways towards the drink machines. Their quiet humming permeated the air, the only sound in the darkened corridor. He rummaged around in one baggy pocket, pulling out some yen and selecting a black coffee. He really needed some right now.
Coffee like this – from the can, bitter and slightly…off…always reminded him of Rei. Not because the neko-jin made coffee horribly; quite the opposite. His thoughts always flew to the steaming, wonderful cups of black coffee that always awaited him at exactly four when he woke up, along with a piece of plain toast.
He smiled sadly, softly, at the bittersweet memory as he took another sip of the stone-cold bitter beverage. He quickly finished it off and threw away the cup in a nearby trashcan.
He began to walk back to the hospital room, but sidetracked to the window. Rei's room was high up – the thirty-second story – so it had a pretty incredible view. Kai wasn't one to admire scenery, but he knew that Rei had always been.
He gazed out of the glass, not really seeing the bright city lights beneath him, immersed in memories. He knew that Rei would have loved this view, if he could have ever seen it…he knew that he would have pulled him over and pointed things out until Kai was actually interested in the pointless thing.
He traced patterns on the chilly glass with his finger, leaving slight smudges behind. Rei had done this often when he was pensive, going deep into his mind…
Kai sighed. Everything seemed to remind him of the raven-haired blader nowadays, and the thought of his last words to Rei always haunted him.
"…Now get in the damn car!"
He was constantly wondering what would have happened if he hadn't been so rash – could he have spared Rei? If it was not for Kai, then, truly, Rei would still be alive.
He leant his head against the glass, breath fogging up the window. He ran his finger through it, almost wanting to cry, but feeling hollow, as though there were no tears where they should have been. He never cried, not now, not before. He knew he had tears, but they stubbornly refused to come…
Sighing again, he turned and continued on his journey back to the hospital room, awaiting a wakening that he knew, had always known, was probably never going to happen.
He entered to find the lamp turned on and Lee sitting up in his chair, stretching. Mariah yawned and curled up just a little bit tighter, and Kevin moved, neck twisting in a way that Kai was sure went against the laws of physics.
The leader of the neko-jin team glanced up as he heard the door open.
"Hey, Kai," he said softly.
Kai nodded his head in reply, closing the door with a barely audible click behind him. Lee looked back down to the bed beside the chair. The IV machine was still hooked up; the feeding tube and heart monitor's whirring and beeping familiar sounds in the almost-silent room. He stared down, not fully seeing, the now-pale face of his best friend.
Kai took the seat which he had slept in, on the other side of Rei's bed. He, too, looked down at his fallen…friend?
Somehow, the word didn't seem to be enough.
Dark raven strands, unkempt (but washed just last night), trailed gracefully across the white pillow, once-tan skin now gone pale from lack of true sunlight. His breathing was deep and slightly uneven, chest going up and falling gently.
Kai leaned back into his chair gently, thinking, closing his eyes.
Little snippets of memory flashed behind his lids, as they were wont to do so, so many times, especially now.
"Kai…I'm so sorry Kai…I screwed it all up, and…"
Rei shifted from foot to foot, nervous.
Kai took a sip of the soup. "It's alright, Rei. It's fine."
It was fabulous.
Once…
"Kai…Merry Christmas."
Kai looked up from his book to see Rei standing shyly in front of him, hesitantly holding out a wrapped parcel. He raised an eyebrow but took it nonetheless, with a nod.
He opened it later that night.
"Thank you," he whispered.
There was a time…
Rei sat on the corner in the rain, tears mingling with the water from the sky. A hand was laid on his shoulder and he jumped, the feel startling him. Kai watched him.
"H-hey…look, I don't wanna talk about it…"
"I know," was all Kai said. He sat beside him until the tears finally stopped.
When you looked at me…
Rei looked up from the book he was so intently poring over and glanced at the doorway, smiling.
"Hey, Kai. Glad you're back!"
He smiled so warmly…Kai wondered how anyone could be that happy to see him.
And you truly smiled.
"You didn't worry me, Kon. I'm pissed because Kinomaya broke his ankle, Mizuhara is on a sugar-high, and Kyoujou is being weird again. Get it?"
"Yeah, well, I don't see myself on that list."
"You're the only one that can handle them and you vanished! Now get in the damn car!"
Where is your smile now?
"Kaaaiiii…Kai?"
"Hm?" Kai said, glancing up. Takao was waving a hand in front of his face, frowning.
"Man, you like, completely zoned out on us, bud."
"Whatever."
"Same old Kai," Max chuckled, sweatdropping. Takao rolled his eyes.
"Hey, Kai, listen, we wanna know what you want: pizza or Chinese? We're picking up both."
"Chinese."
"What're the magic words?"
"I get Chinese or you run laps."
"…That works too."
Takao straightened out. "Okay, so Chinese for the White Tigers and Kai, pizza for me and Maxie, and a salad for Kyoujou."
"Right," confirmed Mariah, stretching. "And Lee will be driving."
"Aw, I wanna drive!" Takao whined.
"Too bad," said Lee, chuckling, rising to his feet. "I don't think we should trust you with a car anytime, much less just after you've woken up."
"Nah, I think the question is is the kitty tall enough to reach the pedals."
"If you weren't the same height as me, maybe that would be offensive."
"I keep forgetting that you grew. Now Kevin's the only short one."
"Hey!"
Good-natured chuckles sounded throughout the room as Lee, Mariah, and Takao exited, followed soon by Kevin, Gary, Max, and Kyoujou as they went on an expedition to discover the Coke machines.
Kai sighed, glad to finally be alone…well, almost alone.
He looked over at Rei again. The blader continued breathing unsteadily, deep breaths…in…and out…in…and out…
Kai stood and then sat down again on Rei's bed. He gently brushed some tangled raven locks (Rei would have had fits if he could have seen what they had done to his hair) out of closed golden eyes, fingertips brushing against now-pale skin. He felt, barely-there, an undercurrent of warmth, of life…
Barely there.
He bowed his head and closed his eyes.
How could this happen to me?