"Nancy you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine. No problem. Where are Mom and Piper?"
"They went to the store. What's wrong honey?"
"I don't know. I woke up, and for a second everything seemed fine. It's like this almost every morning, just for a moment, I forget that I can't walk or do things for myself. I feel so helpless."
"Nancy, you are not helpless, you just need some help that's all. Soon you'll be doing things for yourself; it'll just take some time."
Phoebe noticed a strange look on Nancy's face. She knew it wasn't a pain look, she didn't know what was wrong.
"Are you alright? What's wrong?"
"Well I, um…well um…."
"Spit it out, what?"
"I need to use the bathroom."
"Nancy it's nothing to be embarrassed about, we are more then happy to help with whatever you need help with. I promise we'll make it as least uncomfortable for you as possible."
Phoebe helped Nancy to the bathroom and then returned her to her room. Placing her back into the bed, she noticed that Nancy was holding her breath, and clinching her teeth together. Phoebe looked at her watch and did the math. Nancy had left the hospital that morning, and was given her last pain dose at around 7:00, it was now almost 2:30, and the painkiller usually only lasted about five hours.
"You know it's been a while since you had any pain medication. How you doing?"
"If I say fine would you believe me?"
"Nancy we talked about this while you were in the hospital. If you are in pain, you have to say so. Unless you want to end up back there."
"No not really, but why does it have to be a needle?"
Phoebe didn't reply, she simply left the room and returned moments later with the supplies she needed. She placed the rubber gloves on her hands, and helped Nancy to roll on her side. Picking up the cotton swab, she cleaned a spot on Nancy's hip, before picking up the needle. Phoebe had been shown how to administer the shot while Nancy was in the hospital, but this was her first time doing it alone.
She paused for a moment taking a deep breath and then inserted the needle into Nancy's hip. Nancy jumped when the needle went in, which caused Phoebe to jump. She quickly pushed in the plunger, then removed the needle and used a new cotton swab to re-clean the area.
"There you go all done."
"Great. Next time don't take a breath like that. For a second there I thought you messed up."
"Hey I'm learning too you know. You think I want to hurt you?"
"No, sorry. I just hate feeling like this!"
"Nancy take it easy. This is the first day of the rest of your life with us."
"Yea, well I hope that the rest of the days are a little better than this, because this whole week has been a real BIT…"
Phoebe put her hand over Nancy's mouth.
"Don't you dare, or I'll have to wash your mouth out with soap."
The two of them laughed as Nancy could feel the painkiller kicking in immediately. She was starting to relax, and then looked at the clock for herself.
"I can't believe I've been asleep since I got home. When can I get some food, I'm starving?"
"Piper made a sandwich for you before they left. That should tide you over until tonight. She's got a special welcome home dinner planned for us."
"Do I get to eat downstairs? I'm sick of eating in bed."
"Yes, but for now, I'll get your sandwich for you."
Phoebe left the room and returned with food and milk. Nancy wanted to listen to some more music, but the headphones were becoming uncomfortable.
"Phoebe can I eat in that chair next to the stereo. I want to play some music, but don't want to use the headphones. I promise to keep the volume down low."
Phoebe moved Nancy to the chair and watched as a CD was loaded. Once it started playing Nancy adjusted the volume so it was just loud enough to hear. As soon as Nancy picked up her sandwich Phoebe took hold of the stereo control, and cranked the volume.
"Phoebe what are you doing?"
"Just grooving to the music."
She replied as she began to dance around the room, entertaining Nancy as she ate. Several songs later Prue stormed into the room covering her ears from the sound of the stereo. Prue began to yell and Phoebe, and look sternly at Nancy. Nancy could feel herself becoming afraid, she didn't know why; it was like her body took over as her hands began to shake. She felt like she was afraid to move, but that didn't stop her from forgetting about her legs, as she attempted to stand, only to find herself face down on the floor.
"NANCY! Phoebe turn that off."
Phoebe ran over to the stereo and pushed the power button as Prue made her way over to Nancy. Helping Nancy to turn over on her back, Prue was surprised by the response she got. Nancy had tears in her eyes, and she was shaking uncontrollably.
"Nancy what's wrong?"
Phoebe came over and immediately began to check her vital signs. They both thought that she was having some kind of reactions. Phoebe thought maybe she gave her too much painkiller and she was going to have a seizure.
"We better call an ambulance."
"NO DON'T!"
The word ambulance brought Nancy to her senses a little. She pushed herself into a seated position, and started to scoot her body away from them. Hearing the yelling going on upstairs Piper burst into the room and was shocked by the display. She just stood in the doorway.
"Mom, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. Please don't…"
None of them could understand what was going on. Why was Nancy acting like this? Why was she shaking? What was wrong? As if a light bulb whet on in Pipers head she grabbed Prue by the shoulders and helped her to stand. She made her sister sit on the edge of the bed and then slowly approached Nancy.
"Nancy I'm just going to talk to you. Just like when we talked about your parents. Remember?"
Nancy never took her eyes off Prue. She was so afraid to open her mouth. She didn't even seem to know why. She simply nodded her head yes as she listened to the words coming out of Pipers mouth. Piper ushered Phoebe to back off and sit in the chair, Piper knew only the one on one approach would work with Nancy right now.
"Alright, it's just you and me talking here. Will you look at me? Come on look at me. Prue and Phoebe are just going to sit there, and not say a word."
Nancy finally took her eyes off Prue by taking a deep breath closing her eyes and turning her head to Piper before opening them again.
"That's a girl. Now you're not hurt are you?"
Still afraid to speak she just shook her head no.'
"Good. Now are you afraid?"
Nancy found her eyes return to Prue, then back to Piper to shake her head yes.
"Can you tell me what you're afraid of?"
Nancy wanted to find the words, but they were too painful to say. She focused on Piper and tried to mind link to say the answer, but her emotions were blocking her. She couldn't get out of her own mind, let alone into someone else's. She just lifted her arm, extended her index finer, and while looking at the floor pointed to Prue. She could hear Prue suck in her breath, and she immediately pulled her arm back covering her face.
"Prue, you're afraid of Prue right?"
Piper looked into Prue's eyes, she could see she was about to jump off the bed and go to Nancy. Piper knew that wasn't the best thing to do right now. Piper just gestured to Prue to stay where she was. Prue nodded her head in agreement as they heard a small voice come from behind shaking hands that were still covering Nancy's face.
"Yes."
"It's alright. You don't have to be afraid to say yes. Can you tell me why you're afraid?"
"She's mad. When people get mad at me, bad things happen."
"Bad things like what?"
Nancy had once again clamed up. Piper scooted closer to Nancy and lowed Nancy's hands away from her face. She lifted Nancy's chin so they were looking eye to eye. Piper knew what Nancy was going to say, but she knew they couldn't move past it, till Nancy could admit it to herself.
"Nancy I can't help if you don't tell me. Bad things like what?"
"When adults yell at me, I almost always get hit, or thrown out and put into a new home."
"Do you really think Prue would kick you out?"
"No."
"Do you think Prue is going to hit you?"
"Maybe…No not really."
"Nancy it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do right now. You have been through hell. I know you're not really afraid of Prue, but your body doesn't"
"I don't want her to be mad at me, or Phoebe."
"Nancy Prue isn't mad."
"But she was yelling."
"Nancy Prue isn't mad, you have to trust us."
Nancy had forgotten that Phoebe was still in the room. As a fear response she grabbed hold of Piper before looking into Prue's eyes.
"I'm not mad, but yes I was yelling. That's just what sisters do sometimes. I understand you being afraid. It's difficult to hear, but I understand. When I was young do you know that I couldn't even tell my own sisters that I loved them."
"Why?"
"Because I was afraid that if I said it, they would go away, just like my Mom and Dad."
"What?"
"The last thing I ever said to my Mom was I love you, then she was gone. So for a long time, I thought that was what you said to people who were going to die. In my Dad's case, it's leave for a very long time. It's taken a long time to get over that."
"When did you finally tell them you loved them?"
"About a year ago."
"You mean I'm going to always be afraid of you?"
"No. The only real reason it took so long, was because nobody ever tried to talk to me about it. The only reason I can tell them now, is because Phoebe actually talked to me, I didn't even realized I had never said it. When they would say 'I love you Prue', I would just say 'me too.' It wasn't until Phoebe asked why I do that, that I realized I was doing it."
"So how long till I won't be afraid of you?"
"I don't know. We can keep talking about it, and maybe we can find someone else you can talk to."
"You mean a shrink? Great now you think I'm crazy too."
"We don't think you're crazy. We just think you need to talk through some things, and once you do, you'll feel a whole lot better. Trust me, sometimes people just need some outside help. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"Have any of you guys ever been to a shrink?"
She looked around the room and none of them were saying a thing. It was like each of them wanted to answer, but were ashamed of their answers.
"You guys want me to go and see someone, when you're not willing to admit that you each have gone at one time or another? No Way!"
"How did you know?"
"It's written all over your faces. If it's nothing to be ashamed of, then why can't you guys just admit it too me?"
The girls looked at each other, none of them had really known that the other had gone. They each at one time or another had things they couldn't talk to each other about and needed help. It just wasn't something they ever thought they would be discussing.
"I went when I was in high school."
"Piper, how come Prue and I never knew?"
"I didn't want you to. Grams noticed I wasn't happy at school, and she was worried about me. It was not big deal, I only went for a few months. It was alright."
"Was that around your senior year?"
"How did you know?"
"You seemed to change around that time. That's when you joined a few clubs, and made a few friends."
"Prue graduated the year before, and Grams knew that Prue stuck up for me a lot while she was there. She knew that my little sister couldn't do that, so she wanted to know I could take care of myself. When did you go?"
"After I went through my rebellious phase, after my boyfriend attacked me. I was scared all the time, and didn't want to leave the house, even to go to school. Grams made me go, he helped me to not be so afraid. How about you?"
"Grams sent me when I got suspended from school for drinking. You and Prue were both away at college, and Grams didn't know what else to do with me."
"I remember that. She called me, I didn't know what to say."
"I do. You yelled at me for almost two hours on the phone, and told me you were going to kick my butt when you got home for the semester break. Grams figured I better get my act together by then, so she sent me. He helped me understand that I was just missing you guys, not to mention I didn't have either one of you to look after me, I was trying to get some attention. When I went back to school, I still got into trouble, but I got better grades in the process."
"Boy you guys really were messed up."
They all turned to Nancy who had just listened to their conversation. She had a different look on her face, on that was kind of unreal.
"We weren't messed up, we were young, and going through our own problems growing up."
Nancy laughed a little as she looked at Prue. She closed her eyes and shook her head trying to stifle her laughter.
"What's so funny?"
"I know that I saw pictures of you guys when you were young, but I'm trying to picture you being a rebel. I just can't see it Mom."
Prue felt this was her chance to move. She got off the bed and Nancy gripped Piper again.
"Sorry, physical response."
"That's alright. It's like someone with epilepsy, they can't control their seizures anymore then you can control how your body react when you're scared. Can I give you a hug?"
Nancy loosened her grip on Piper and leaned in to get her hug. Once inside Prue's loving embrace she remembered how it felt to feel save. Her body became relaxed and she could the tension leaving her body, Prue could feel it too. When Nancy had first put her arms around her neck for the hug, they felt like ten pound weights, they were so tense and heavy, now they felt loose, and flexible, almost like a feather.
"Not to break up this moment, but I have a dinner to cook."
Piper got up off the floor, kissed Nancy on the top of the head and left the room.
"Now are you sure you're not hurt from the fall?"
"No Mom, I'm alright."
"Good. Now about the music."
"Prue that was my fault. Nancy had the volume down, I turned it up."
"Somehow I knew that. Listen, loud is alright, but not blaring. We could hear it all the way to the street. Don't let Phoebe became a bad influence on you. Deal?"
"Deal. Now can someone help me up?"
Phoebe and Prue lifted her up and put her back into the chair.
"So you want to listen to some more music?"
"No I kind of bored of it. Can I go downstairs and watch television till dinner?"
"I think that can be arranged."
They helped Nancy downstairs, got her comfortable on the couch and then headed into the kitchen to help with dinner. As Piper cooked dinner, Phoebe set the table, and Prue helped make the salad. From time to time they each went to check on Nancy who was watching T.V. in-between falling asleep. The emotional rollercoaster she had gone though had drained her of all her energy.
"I feel so bad that I scared her like that."
"Prue don't do this. You remember when we first brought her home from L.A.? The doctor had suggested that we find someone for her to talk to. We didn't focus on it at the time, because we didn't even know if she was going to be staying. A shrink couldn't help with her worrying about demon attacks."
"True, but I should talk to Jamie, see if she can suggest someone."
"Which Jamie?"
"Very funny. You know we need to figure out some short names they can go by."
"Nurse Jamie goes by Fuller, all the time."
"Fine. That's one down, and two to go."