Shikamaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just S.E., Riyo and the new girl E.S.

Must...try...to update quickly. I've been busy and can't update as fast as I want to.

Thank you people for the reviews. I'm so happy! SQUEEE!

List after Shikamaru: Kiba, then Gaara, Kankurou and Temari. Unless you want to suggest someone else.

I have nothing else to say.

Warning: Some OOCness. Remember, no flaming. And please don't take this fic seriously.

"I got good news!" Riyo came up to S.E. in the hard to pronounce place.

"Yeah?" S.E. was playing with Kari and constantly stuffing sprinkled donuts in her mouth.

"Good news is, I have an assistant!" Riyo gave S.E. a blinding grin.

"Don't do that. It reminds me of Gai," S.E. said, sweat dropping.

"Here she is!"

"SHE!" S.E. could have died.

There was a silence, and then, a girl a bit older than S.E. appeared. Her black hair was in a ponytail, her light red eyes shone bright like rubies and- (pretty music stops)

"WHOA! HOLD UP! Riyo, you know there can't be other girls on the show! Besides me, of course!" S.E. pouted.

Riyo sighed and lead the girl away and then S.E. started her show.

"Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., your jealous hostess-I mean!- announcer! Today's guest is Nara Shikamaru, aka the Guy Who Doesn't Know the Alphabet!" S.E. cheerily grinned.

"I DO TOO KNOW THE ALPHABET, WOMAN!" Shikamaru came in, shouting.

"MY NAME IS S.E.! NOT WOMAAAAAAAN!" S.E. and Shikamaru were now engaged in a shouting fight.

"Troublesome woman."

"SIT! OR DIE!"

"I stopped yelling, because it was too troublesome."

"Oh. SIT!"

Shikamaru sat in the little chair of doom-err- little chair of happiness.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"HI S.E.!" A blur of green spandex came crashing through the second story window.

"Aaaagh! It's the Green Spandex Blur Show Stopper! YOU CAN'T STOP MY SHOW!" S.E. aimed for the guy with her pointy donuts.

"No! It's me, the Youthful Green Beast of Konoha!" Lee grinned so brightly it almost blinded Shikamaru.

"My eyes!" Shikamaru said.

"Lee, get out! I'm supposed to be scaring the guests!" S.E. whacked him with a broom.

"Aww…you don't have to be that way," Lee sadly walked/slouched to the exit, and the Emergency Second Story Window Fixers promptly arrived to fix the broken window.

"Anyway…Shikamaru…is the infamous toilet paper thief…"

Shikamaru raised a brow.

"Why would I steal something as troublesome as toilet paper?" Shikamaru asked.

"Ewww! You don't use toilet paper?" S.E. sprayed air freshener around him. It smelled like donuts.

"I didn't mean that, woman!" Shikamaru said, livid.

"It's S.E.! S and E!"

"Whatever."

"Shikamaru…is actually my best friend…"

"I'm not your best friend! My best friend is Chouji!"

"C'mon, let's do fun best friend things!"

"I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, WOMAN!"

"But…" S.E. started to cry.

"Waaaaah!" S.E. turned into chibi form and started to cry like a baby. Which lasted about…seven seconds.

"Okay, I feel better! Back to the torturing! Shikamaru…is the leader of the Mole people…hey, can I visit them? After all, I'm your friend!"

"Mole people? They don't exist. And you're not my best friend!" Shikamaru lazily shouted.

"Oh no! Shikamaru is a Mole people dictator! Call the police! Call the president! Call the closest donut shop!" S.E. over reacted.

Shikamaru inched away.

"You're not going anywhere, you ex boyfriend of a pineapple!" S.E. yanked him back.

"Darn."

"Heheh. Now you know…the infamous toilet thief who is my best friend and the dictator of the Mole people…poor, poor Mole people. And he's also the ex boyfriend of Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer, the pineapple."

"I'm no dictator! And I'm not your best friend! I don't steal toilet paper either!"

"Tell it to the judge!"

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

S.E. ignored the Nara as she started to play with Kari.

"Lalala, I can't hear you!"

"I'm leaving!"

"Now you know…Shikamaru…"

"It's not true! I'm getting a smart lawyer!"

"Oh, I forgot, you're stupid. Need help on finding a law firm?" S.E. asked.

"I'm fine, woman."

"S.E.!"

Shikamaru left lazily and headed to the nearest law firm.

S.E. returned to Riyo.

"Who is she?"

"She's my assistant, E.S."

"WHAT? Her name is exactly like mine, but backwards!" S.E. gritted her teeth.

"Hello S.E.-san, I hope I didn't cause any trouble," E.S. showed up and was wearing a light PINK dress. Eww. Pink.

"AAAGH! NO PINK!" S.E. shut out Riyo and E.S. and glued the door shut.

"Yes Kari, maybe that wasn't a smart idea, but at least I have you and donuts!" S.E. laughed as she started to eat donuts.

S.E.: I hate lawyers

Chi: Me too.

Natasha: Chi...you don't even know what a lawyer is

Chi: Yes I do! They're the guys that created post it notes!

-S.E. and Natasha sweat drop-