Lights Out

Disclaimer - I own nobody.. But I really wish I did...

Characters - Various WWE Characters (too many to name)

Summary - The WWE Superstars and Divas are forced to go to "Camp WWE". Amongst these men and women are rivals, exlovers, and even friends. Some new romances are formed while old one's are started back up…

Chapter Four

After they all settled into the cabin they were informed by the only woman in the cabin that it was 'inadequate' and 'nippy'. However, the three men didn't care what she said for she was, in the words of Rock, just as retarded as Maria. Which was a cruel statement, but still...Completely true. While Molly gave her full inspection of the cabin Rosey tried to save a stuffed cat from falling to the floor from the ceiling fan - as Hurricane stated - it was for super hero training.

"I am the S.H.I.T!" Rosey exclaimed as he jumped off the bunk bed.

However, to his luck he only hit his head on the ceiling and then hit his stomach on the bar on the bunk bed and then fell onto his back on the floor. He laid there with wide eyes and his mouth wide open as everyone stared at him.

"Whatsupwitthat?" Hurricane exclaimed as he crossed his arms.

Rock stared at Hurricane and then at the stuffed cat that was flung out of the widow.

"YOU BROKE THE WINDOW!" Rock exclaimed.

"Opps..." Rosey mumbled as he got up, wincing in pain.

"You better pay for that!" Rock hissed.

"Now we'll freeze to death at night! Or be eaten alive by squirrels!" Molly cried.

Hurricane raised an eyebrow, "Squirrels?"

"YES SQUIRRELS!" Molly snapped.

"There are no squirrels in this environment. If we would be eaten by anything it'd be bears." Hurricane informed her.

"I heard women's periods attract bears." Rosey added.

Rock, Molly and Hurricane all stared at him.

"From where?" Hurricane asked.

"Anchorman." Rosey mumbled.

"That was a true story." Hurricane pointed out.

"Damn, it was." Rock cursed.

"You can't be serious! Bears? Periods? They don't connect in any way!" Molly argued.

"Yes they do! Bears eat women, who have periods!" Hurricane insisted.

"Or squirrels." Rosey teased.

"Eww, don't even get into that!" Rock warned.

"Please." Molly agreed.

-x-

"Trish, you do have a big ass… Just admit it!" Jason exclaimed as Trish crossed her arms.

"NO! I don't have a big ass! Take it back!" Trish snapped.

"Just take a look in the mirror!" Gail offered.

"Shut up!" Both Jason and Trish ordered.

"Fine." Gail mumbled before she sat down on the bed.

Show got off the other bed and put his hands on Trish and Jason's shoulders.

"MY GOD!" Trish exclaimed as she looked at him, jumping slightly.

Jason rolled his eyes as Show said, "Now… Having a big ass isn't all that bad. In fact, guys like girls with big butts. Just listen to Sir Mix A Lot He likes big butts."

"Sir Mix A Lot?" Trish echoed.

"Yeah, Sir Mix A Lot." Show replied.

"He's a low-life-scum-rapper! Why on earth would I care what he thinks?" Trish snapped.

"Hey, I resent that!" Someone yelled.

Trish rolled her eyes, "SHUT UP JOHN! I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU!"

"Sure you weren't." John replied as he stepped into the room.

"She was talking about Sir Mix A Lot." Jason informed him.

"An' what, may I ask, is wrong wit' Sir Mix A Lot?" John questioned.

"He likes big butts." Gail piped up.

"I like big butts." John replied. "That make me a low-life-scum-rappa too?"

"No, you're just a low-life-scum-rapper anyway." Trish assured him.

"Woman, you're cruel. I ain't a low-life-scum-rappa…" John stated.

"Right, keep telling yourself that." Trish teased.

"Ya know what? I'm outta here." John snapped.

"Good, then maybe we can have some PEACE!" Trish yelled after him as he walked out.

"Whateva." Came John's response.

-x-

After a long first day they were all ready to turn in the for the night, Rosey commenting that the squirrels might just attack if Molly were to go to sleep. However, this turned out to be an extremely bad idea as Molly sat up the entire night screaming whenever there was a sound outside. While Rock, Rosey and Hurricane were kept up by Molly's annoying loud screams they were also kept up my mosquitoes and other insects that entered the room. Soon they were all trying to kill them all with fly swatters. On a few occasions one of them would purposely smack Molly so she'd shut up.

"Ah, a bear!" Rosey exclaimed.

"WHERE!" Molly cried.

"There! There! Get it hamburger!" Rock ordered as he pointed.

Hurricane quickly drop kicked the 'bear' and then smacked it a few times with a fly swatter before he kicked it in the stomach and then delivered an elbow drop.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Hurricane screamed as he beat on the 'bear'.

"Is it dead" Molly asked.

"No… I doubt it'd be dead." Rock replied as they watched Hurricane beat on the 'bear'.

Hurricane got on top of the bunk bed and leaped off of it onto the 'bear' before he started hitting it with his fists. After a good five minutes Rock stepped in and pulled Hurricane off of the 'bear'.

"That's enough…" Rock mumbled.

The four stood over the 'bear' before they turned on the lights.

"Shit." Hurricane exclaimed.

"What?" Rosey replied.

"Not you…." Hurricane responded.

"Ah… Is he dead?" Molly asked.

Rock looked puzzled at the 'bear' before he poked him a few times, then checked the 'bears' pulse.

"He's alive." Rock informed them.

"Well… I don't think anyone will care that we beat him up." Hurricane stated.

"Probably not." Rock agreed, nodding.

The 'bear' was knocked out on the cabin floor, not moving except for when they shoved him out of the door before they slammed it shut.

"If anyone asks.. We didn't do anything." Rock warned everyone.

-x-

The next morning Coach was found knocked out in the middle of the camp, a few vultures were forming circles in the sky as they waited to make their attack. A few squirrels ran onto the scene and started hitting their nuts on his head. One of them chucked the brown nut at his head, attempting to break the nut open. Just before they ran away Eric Bischoff, Johnny Ace and Teddy Long stepped out of their cabin. Minutes later most of the roster stepped out of their cabins to head to breakfast, all stopping to stare at Coach's motionless body.

"Wow, what happened here?" Hurricane asked, pretending he didn't do anything.

"I don't know." Rock replied.

"You beat him up!" Molly exclaimed.

Hurricane, Rock and Rosey all stared at her before she took off running. The three exchanged a look before they chased after her, shouting as they did so. Austin started laughing before he poured a beer over Coach's head, causing him to wake up.

"AH!" Coach exclaimed as he sat up, shaking the beer off himself.

"Good morning you little bitch… Have a nice sleep?" Austin taunted.

"Where am I?" Coach asked. "Who am I?"

"Oh come on!" Eric complained.

"He's stupider than Eugene." Hunter commented.

"Or just as stupid… It's really close." Jericho added.

"Awfully close." Ric agreed.

Teddy sighed, "He has no use now."

"We can use him for target shooting!" Austin commented.

"We could, but that'd be a huge law suit." Johnny Ace replied.

"Well… We could use him for a dummy for all the wrestlers to use when they practice." Eric pointed out.

"Who am I?" Coach asked again.

"The 'stunt' man of the WWE, why you do all the extremely hard move-taking stuff." Eric informed him.

"I am? Wow, I never would have…Thought." Coach replied. "What's my name?"

"Dick." Austin stated.

"Dick… That is a nice name." 'Dick' (Coach) responded.

"Definitely." Teddy and Johnny agreed.

Jericho and a few others were laughing hysterically as 'Dick' (Coach) got off the ground and started skipping around like a fag. While Amy, John, Randy, Maria, Kurt and Rey all went back into their cabin to get John to start breathing again, he was laughing so hard he could barely breath. Kurt kept talking about serious things, such as kitties and puppies. However, the man only laughed harder. Maria started dancing around, however she ran into a wall and knocked herself out. The dark haired man laughed even harder until Amy slapped him across the face.

"Oww! Why'd you do that?" He exclaimed, holding his cheek.

"You were scaring Randy." Amy replied innocently.

"Ch, yeah---wait! What?" Randy snapped.

Amy smiled innocently before she turned her attention back to John, "See… He's confused now."

"I am NOT confused…!" Randy hissed, crossing his arms.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked as he stared at Maria.

"She'll be fine… And if not, we can always tell her, her name is Pussy." Amy replied sarcastically.

"True." Kurt agreed as John started laughing again.

Amy smacked him again before she turned to face Kurt.

"We should probably tell someone that she knocked herself out, but---hey!" Amy started, before she yelled at John.

John had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto his lap, a smirk upon his face as she glared at him over her shoulder.

"What, may I ask, is your problem?" Amy hissed.

"You slapped me." John replied.

"So! That doesn't mean you can touch me…" Amy stated, crossing her arms.

"Does too." John responded.

"Does NOT!" Amy yelled, slamming her foot down onto his.

"Ow, that hurt!" John exclaimed sarcastically.

"BREAKFAST!" Eugene screamed over the loud speaker.

"Who gave him the speaker?" Vince asked after he spit out his eggs.

"Eugene, my boy! Get back here!" Regal called as Eugene ran around in circles.

"Dick, move out of my way!" Austin snapped, shoving 'Dick' (Coach) out of the way.

"Have we lost all control?" Linda exclaimed as they walked out of the cabin to see people fighting.

Eugene was running around everyone and even clotheslined a few people. Rock, Hurricane and Rosey had successfully hung Molly on the flag pole. Austin was spitting on 'Dick' (Coach) while Amy and was chasing after John for a reason only known by Kurt, Rey and Randy. Rey was tripping people as they ran past him, Hunter and Jericho were fighting with no regard for anyone around them as Jericho tossed Ric into Hunter. Eric, Teddy and Johnny were trying to put the blame on one-another while in the middle of the fight. Vince started yelling, slapping people as he stormed to the group of men.

"What is going on here?" Vince snapped.

"He started it!" Johnny and Teddy replied, pointing at Eric.

"Errrric! You're FIRED! Wait… You can have an even greater punishment!" Vince hissed.

Eric looked terrified as Vince yelled at everyone to stop, they all froze except Eugene, who was still running around.

"You will switch spots with Kurt! KURT! You'll be staying with Ace, Long and Coach! Get your butt moving and move into your new 'home'. Eric, you're going to be staying with Amy, John, Randy, Rey and Maria!" Vince ordered.

"WHAT! NO!" Eric screamed before he broke down crying.

Vince shook his head as he directed traffic, sending everyone to the cafeteria as he scolded Eric for letting this happen. Shane, Stephanie and Linda all watched in amazement as Kurt and Eric switched cabins. John, Randy, Rey and Amy all commented that they wouldn't like the idea of Eric staying with them. To the surprise of Randy and Rey, Amy seemed to have forgotten that she was mad at John. While Rock, Hurricane and Rosey were forced to get Molly off the flag pole they purposely dropped her on her head before they walked off to the cafeteria.

To Be Continued…