"Nancy how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine Julie. When can I get out of here?"
"Well that's what I'm here to talk about. Can you tell me what happened with you foster father?"
"I'm not really sure. When you first placed me with him everything was fine. He said that I was finally going to get to go back to school, and get on with my life. When I did start school he changed. He became angry. One night I was doing my homework, and he sat down with me, said he wanted to help, so I said great. I knew I could do the work myself, but it had been a long time since someone took any interest in my life. We were talking about the Holocaust and he was totally wrong with what he was telling me. He was really confused, when I corrected him he smacked me across the face and told me to never contradict him again. After that I started to really see him for what he was, a mean and angry drunk. I think he was angry that I knew more then him."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I'm used to people especially adults feeling that way, but this was the first time someone actually took it out on me."
"What do you mean your used to it?"
"Kids in the group homes never understood me, since I was in a room with kids my age, yet they never saw me at school. They didn't believe me when I told them I was in high school, so they always treated me like I was a freak. Kids in the high school weren't too bad, but they didn't like having someone young kid around who knew as much as they did, if not more. Some of the foster homes I was in were good, some bad. The good ones figured that with my intelligence they didn't have anything to offer me. They wanted to raise a child and teach them things, they thought I already knew it all. Other, like Mister Davis, couldn't handle having someone in their home that was smarter then them. My parents always told me to not be ashamed of my intelligence, and to never act like I don't know something if I do. I can handle being different, have been my whole life."
Julie, Nancy's social worker took notes as Nancy talked. Nancy was being totally honest with her, and she knew it. Nancy liked Julie, they always got along really well, and Nancy knew what the next question was going to be.
"Alright Nancy, now you and I have a deal remember."
"Sure, we always tell each other the truth."
"Right. So only if you want to, tell me why you didn't tell me about him hitting you?"
Nancy had thought about this for a long time. She wasn't even sure she knew the answer to that question, until now. She played with the corner of her blanket, and made no eye contact with Julie. She was ashamed of not telling Julie what was going on, and didn't want to make Julie feel bad too.
"Nancy, look at me."
Nancy lifted her head and locked eyes with Julie.
"You can tell me anything, I won't be hurt, and I won't be angry with you."
"I didn't tell you because you worked so hard to find a good home for me. You placed me in so many homes, and I knew that every time it didn't work out it would hurt you to see me hurting. We both thought that being placed with a single father would be the ultimate choice. I had no other kids to compete with, and no woman in the house that wanted to turn me into her sweet innocent little girl. I decided that come hell or high water this was going to be my last move. I wanted to tell you so many times, every time you did a visit, but I couldn't. Then he started to tell me lies, and little by little I started to believe them."
"Lies, like what?"
"He said that since I had told you how well things were going in the house, that if I suddenly changed my story, you wouldn't believe me. I don't know why I believed him, but I did. I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong, he did. Do you understand me?"
"Yes. Is he in jail?"
"Yes he is."
"Do I have to go to court? I don't want to see him."
"No you don't. He confessed to everything. He will be sentenced without a trial. Don't worry about him anymore alright. Now let's move on shall we. The ladies who helped you."
"You mean my cousins?"
"Did they tell you that's who they were?"
"Yes, but they didn't need to. I knew the minute I saw them."
"How's that? You always said that you didn't have any other family besides your parents."
"I don't know how I forgot about them, maybe it's because we never met face to face. I only saw pictures of them when my Grandmother would write to us."
"How would you feel about going home with them?"
"I'm not sure. What do you think?"
"Well I've done a lot of checking on them. I had a friend of my who works in social services in San Francisco check them out. They are good people, and I know how much they care about you."
"So you think I should go?"
"Only if you want to."
"If I do, and it doesn't work out, can I come back here?"
"I might be able to arrange that. What do you say?"
"I guess it's worth a try, but I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too, but we can keep in touch. You can call me anytime you want." "Do you know who will be my social work when I get there?"
"Sure do, her name is Jamie, and she's a real good lady. We went to school together, I've known her for a long, long time. You just make me a promise that you will always be honest with her."
"I'll try."
"Nancy, you carry a lot on your shoulders. I know you always think you have to protect people, but that's not your job. We are adults and we need to take care of you, alright."
"I'll work on it."
"Good. Well I'm going to go now, but I'll see you again before you leave."
"Do you know when that is?"
"It's up to the doctors."
"You know I hate hospitals."
"I know you do. You just keep doing what they tell you to do, so you can get better."
Julie leaned over and gave Nancy a gentle hug and kiss, then left the room. Nancy laid back in the bed and closed her eyes. She always tried to sleep as much as possible, it made being in the hospital more bearable.