Author's Note: This chapter was a hoot to write. Heh heh. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'll probably post chap 7 tomorrow 4/16/06. If you've been with this story since chapter 1, you may want to go back and reread chapter 5 as I changed it quite a bit and in its old form, it won't make sense with this chapter. If you've just started reading this fic, then you're probably okay. Thanks all for the wonderful reviews. I'm trying very hard to make this entertaining. -Allykat

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Sheppard strode down the corridor toward his room. The team would leave through the gate at 0800 so he still had a lot of time to prepare, gather gear and pack other sundries—more than a few unpleasant surprises during off-world excursions had taught him to be prepared for anything. He also wanted to speak with Lorne now that he would be back in charge.

Even though Elizabeth had given him her blessing to go, he still didn't feel right in himself; he didn't like it. He'd had his fair share of women; he enjoyed them and they enjoyed him. Yet, he'd never been so certain of a particular woman being the right one like he had in that moment he'd held
Elizabeth. One part of his brain was screaming at him for being a stupid fool and breaching the professional relationship that protocol dictated, and the other told him she was the one for him. He didn't know what to think now, or what to believe. Sure, he'd called a truce with Elizabeth, but the problem still remained that he'd kissed her and dammit, he knew she liked it.

"Colonel Sheppard," a voice hailed him.

He turned, spotted Zelenka and reluctantly slowed down.

Zelenka looked back toward Elizabeth's room, questions in his face. "You and uh… the doctor?"

"Fine. Fine. Everything is fine."

"Good," he said, but didn't sound convinced. "I'm looking for Rodney. I was hoping you might know where he is."

"You know, Zelenka, I'm not certain, but you might have good luck if you go to a place with a lot of women."

The scientist looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "I don't understand."

"Try the rec room or the cafeteria," Sheppard said.

"Ah, yes. But--"

Sheppard realized that Rodney was the one person who might be able to straighten this out.

"I need to find McKay myself," Sheppard interrupted. "When I find McKay I'll tell him you're looking for him. You'll be where?"

"Jumper bay."

"I'll send him there."

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Rodney smiled as he entered the rec room. Firmly in his thoughts he held onto those images of winsome Victoria's Secret underwear models. He went to the drinks counter and poured himself something that looked like Athosian beer.

Ah, he spied one particularly fine woman who worked with Carson. She was smart and blonde. He liked blondes. And he especially liked them in yellow lingerie. This had to be one of the more outstanding days he'd had on Atlantis. And unlike his visions of Colonel Carter in the sinking jumper, these visions were real. Well, almost real, he reminded himself. It was his mind creating them, sure, but at least these visions were created by a coherent mind, and not induced by a concussion or impending death. Rodney decided it was better not to get too philosophical or analytical. Just enjoy, he told himself.

So far the device had shown him more than a few potential mates. From his observations, the images held stronger and for longer on women who probably held greater potential. Ah, he spied Katie Brown. He'd always been somewhat attracted to her. Hmm. Shy, but smart, and who would have thought she'd look so good in wispy scarlet-red underwear. She had more curves than her uniform revealed. Encouraged by his smile, she approached. Rodney silently thanked the Ancients and their devices. The evening was getting better and better.

"Hello Rodney. You seem in a good mood this evening," Katie said, and she smiled timidly.

"Yes, I do, don't I. Things are definitely looking up." He gripped the device and smiled more broadly. 'Black thong' he thought and held it. The device dutifully obliged him as Katie's underwear changed from red to black.

"We're going to be starting a blackjack game, would you like to join us?"

"Black suits you," he said.

"What?" Katie answered, her brows drawing together in confusion.

"OH… well," Rodney backpedaled. "I mean that blackjack sounds perfect."

His nemesis appeared in the form of Colonel Sheppard.

"McKay,' Sheppard said in the Voice of Doom.

The delightful image of Katie Brown in black underwear flickered under this threat and disappeared. McKay's smile dropped like a stone.

"Colonel, I'm busy—"

Colonel Sheppard grabbed his shoulder in what looked like a friendly grasp but reality it was more like a vice, and Rodney winced. The Colonel had quite a grip when he was angry. McKay's smile dropped further. The colonel hurt people when he was angry.

"Can you excuse us? I need to talk to McKay for a minute." Sheppard was saying to Katie.

It appeared the colonel made the woman uncomfortable. She squeaked out an inaudible answer and scurried away. Rodney stared after her longingly, then yanked his arm out of Sheppard's death grip. "Thank you for that, Colonel."

"I didn't do anything."

"You came stalking in here like an angry wraith ready to feed and you scared her."

"I did not."

"You did and ruined a perfectly good conversation."

"You weren't conversing, you were staring at her like she was… naked." Sheppard gave him a narrow look and glanced at the device in his hand. "McKay?"

"I'm not as crass as that. Not like you."

"Playboy bunnies are not crass."

Rodney pointed to the red mark still on Sheppard's cheek. "Yes, well, I'm certain that means nothing then and I'm completely wrong."

"You're wrong." Sheppard's voice dropped to a low, angry octave. "You can safely assume that my night has sucked so far. Killing a wraith with extreme prejudice might improve my outlook, but in lieu of that, the red mark on my face will be nothing compared to the red one I'm going to put on yours if you give me any more crap about this."

"Point taken," Rodney replied and followed Sheppard out of the rec room.

Outside McKay explained his theories about the device and Sheppard listened carefully.

"So when I touched it, I activated it and it's trying to tell me that Elizabeth… Dr. Weir is…"

"A match," Rodney supplied.

"Great." Sheppard again ran a hand through his already mussed hair. He was certain it was sticking up on end by now. "Can I turn it off? I mean, it's going to be difficult to work around Dr. Weir when all I see is her in, well, you know. And we work together a lot."

"Think of something else. Oh, sorry, I forgot it's Captain Kirk I'm talking about so that would be about impossible."

"MCKAY!" Sheppard's fists balled up.

"There's nothing I can do. However, it is a 10,000-year-old device and if we consider the implications of that for a moment instead of Playboy bunnies, then we'll realize that like all power sources here, it won't be long before it dies. So the good news is that it will eventually lose all power."

"Day, week, month?" Sheppard asked.

"That would be difficult to determine, even if I had a way of measuring its level of remaining power. You'll just have to deal with it and think of different things until the visions fade."

"Different things? I think of football and she turns into a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. If I think of beer she'll probably turn into the St. Pauli's girl! There's nothing I can think of that won't fill my head with something… something that I shouldn't be seeing when it comes to Dr. Weir!"

Rodney chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Try to view it from my perspective. The unflappable, confident Colonel Sheppard stumbling over himself for a change might be amusing." Rodney held up the Ancient device. "Who would have known it would take something as simple as this."

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Zelenka tinkered with the jumper, getting it ready and making sure it was in perfect shape for tomorrow's excursion. A few other people were beginning to load it with supplies needed for the Pashant people. He looked up as McKay walked in.

"Could you see what you think of this," Zelenka started, then did a double take.

Rodney had a black eye.

Zelenka tried to hide a grin but it didn't work. He stifled a chuckle by muffling it and giving a cough. It appeared that someone had finally given into their urge to pop the arrogant scientist. Rodney glared through his one good eye.

"Don't say anything."

Zelenka couldn't help himself. He grinned, and grinned some more and after savoring the sight of McKay with a black eye, he launched into the technical details of the ship with fervor unusual even for him. Whoever had given Rodney the black eye, he wanted to shake their hand.

(TBC)