Title: Illusions
Pairing: Hawkeye/BJ
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own them! I did steal a PA announcement from one of the MASH episodes, but that's only because I was too lazy to come up with my own. I give them full credits and rights to it.
Summary: Hawkeye walks in one something and gets the wrong idea.
Challenge: Response to Lisa's ABC challenge and her challenge to use the line "This isn't what it looks like..."
"This isn't what it looks like," was the last thing I heard as I left the Swamp. How could he! After all we've been through together, how could he do that to me?
Guess you're wondering what happened? So am I, but I'll tell you anyway.
It all started….
"When was the last time we had wounded?" I asked BJ, my bunkmate and lover
"A week ago? Maybe more," he replied as he lay down on his bed.
"So bored," I said as I tossed a ball up and down.
"Sirs," Klinger said as he bounded into the tent. "Hawkeye, one of the patients is going into shock. One of the nurses sent me to get you."
"Damn," I muttered. Great, this is just great. I thought the kid was doing fine and now this. "Alright, Klinger, let's get this show on the road!" I said as I followed my friend out the door to Post-Op.
"Alright, just keep him on the IV and he should be fine," I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. After quickly checking up on a few more patients, I quietly made my way back to the Swamp. I really expected BJ to be asleep. I'd have been mildly surprised if he wasn't. Everyone here was always trying to sleep when they weren't busy doing other things. The thing that I least expected to see was what I saw.
I stood there frozen, suspended in time, as I stared at the scene before me. BJ was lying practically on top of one of Margaret Houlihan.
The next thing I knew, BJ turned around and saw me. "Hawk," he began, "this isn't what it looks like…" Before he could finish his sentence, I was out the door. It was a good thing that Margaret already knew about us, otherwise what I had just done would have been exceedingly awkward and would have brought up so many questions that both of us were unwilling to answer at the moment. However, her finding out is a whole different story.
I don't really remember much. I know I wandered around for a long time. Somehow, I managed to find my way to Rosie's . I don't know how long I'd been there, but it must have been a long time. Most people had cleared out.
How could he have done that to me? It had taken me forever to get him to even admit that he was attracted to me. We've been through so much and yet he can easily go and fool around with Margaret? I can't believe him. When Peg was still alive, he was so faithful to her, to the point where he couldn't admit he was attracted to me. When she died, it was a hard time for him, but we managed to pull through, both of us together.
What felt like hours later, but was probably only a few minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew before I turned around that it was him.
"Hawk," he started.
"Just don't Beej," I said before I angrily pushed past him and exited Rosie's bar, not caring where I was headed, as long as it was away from the man that I loved. However, as life in Korea would have it, things don't go as you want them to. It wasn't long before BJ caught up to me.
"Hawkeye!" I heard him shout after me followed by a quiet damn.
"Hawkeye," he said again, this time grabbing me by my arm and turning me around. "Would you listen to me?" he asked, his face searching mine.
"Why should I?" I spat, pulling my arm from his grasp, but failing since I wasn't exactly trying. Part of me wanted to stay and listen to what he had to say, but another larger part wanted me to leave, to get far away from the person that had hurt me. He looked at me, exasperated, trying to think of a logical reason why I should stay and listen to him. I was about to try and get away from him a second time when he started to talk.
"Look, I know you don't exactly want to see me, never mind hear what I have to say, but please, just listen to me. Please?" I thought for a moment. He had always listened to me when I was mad, so at the very least I should return the courtesy, right? I slowly nodded my head and watched his face relax.
"Right," he said, pausing to collect his thoughts. It was actually scary how well we knew each other. "I know you've heard this before, but it wasn't what it looked like. Now don't give me that look," he chastised when I had narrowed my eyes at him. After a moment of silence, he continued. "Margaretcame to the Swamp looking for a drink and someone to talk to. We had been talking for some time when she told me about a pain in her side so I told her I'd check it out for her," he paused, looking at me for a reaction. When I didn't say anything, he continued. "I guess I must have hurt her by accident because she fell backwards and dragged me with her," he said, finishing his tale.
"You really expect me to believe that, BJ? That's the biggest load of bullshit I've heard come out of you. Why don't you tell me what really went on?" I asked, nearly yelling.
"Look, I know it seems implausible, and sounds like a really bad lie, but do you really think I'd fool around with someone else?" He stepped closer and locked his eyes with me. It was getting harder to look away. There's something in this eyes that hold you there, making you unable to look away or even want to look away. When I didn't answer he continued. "After all the hardships we've gone through to be together, all those stolen moments in the supply room, mess tent, showers, everywhere. All those hard times dealing with patients, and having to deal with Charles almost finding out. After all we've been through do you really think I'd go and fool around with someone else and with Margaret of all people? Really Hawkeye, I thought you knew me better then that," he said, nearly yelling the last part.
I stood there looking at him. He was right, why would he do that? How could I even think he would do something like that? Suddenly, I felt the pressure of his hand on my arm disappear. I looked and saw that he was walking away.
"BJ," I called after him. Either he wasn't listening to me or I wasn't speaking loud enough. If I didn't tell him now that I loved him and forgave him and that I shouldn't have overreacted, I'd lose the best thing that has ever happened to me.
"BJ," I called again, jogging to catch up with him. "Would you wait up?" I asked when he didn't slow down. I finally caught up to him and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him around. Before he could say anything, I pressed my lips against his. Almost as fast as I initiated the kiss, I stopped it.
"Beej," I said, pressing my forehead to his. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you before. I should have believed you. Can you forgive me?" I asked pulling back to look into his eyes. The only answer I got was him pulling me closer and pressing his lips to mine. He ran his tongue gently across my bottom lip, seeking permission to enter, which was gladly given. He gently bit down on my bottom lip, eliciting a moan from me. He then, none too gently, pushed his tongue into my mouth, searching every nook and crevice as if he was mapping the place. I kissed him back with as much passion as I could. After a few moments we had stop; the need for air became too great. We stood there panting for a moment, both of us silent, listening to the music of the night perform around us.
"Maybe we should continue this back in the Swamp?" BJ asked, tracing patterns along my side and my back.
"Probably. This isn't exactly the best place to be doing this. Too many people can see who would be willing to turn us in," I said, gently pulling myself away from him and leading him back to camp. A few moments later, we stumbled back into the Swamp. Keeping our hands off of each other on the way back proved to be a very hard task, one that both of us failed, miserably. I turned around to face my lover and gently pressed my lips to his while I let my hands explore the already familiar body. Thankfully Charles was on leave, so we'd had the tent to ourselves the whole week.
"Mmm," I moaned as BJ raked his hands down my stomach. I gasped as BJ's mouth found the sensitive junction on my neck. I titled my head to the side for him to have better access. I moaned again as he gently bit down and backed us up towards the bed. Not wanting him to be in complete control, I used my weight to flip us around and pushed him on the bed, which caused us to fall. Somehow I ended up straddling his waist.
Not being one to waste any time, I started to gently grind my hips into his while I unbuttoned his green army-issue shirt. He lifted his arms so I could easily take the shirt off. I threw it behind me, not caring where it landed. He gasped as I gently bit down on his left nipple. Not wanting the other to feel neglected, I rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. His fingers wove themselves into my hair and pulled me back to his face.
Sorry, folks, but we're having a surprise medical convention in the compound on the double!
"Dammit!" BJ swore under his breathe.
"Come on," I said, rolling off of him and getting off the bed. "Let's go before they come looking for us. I promise, the minute we're done we'll continue this." He nodded his agreement, dipping his head and giving me quick kiss before going to get his shirt.
Twenty-two hours of gruelling meatball surgery later, we finally exited post-opafter doing a last minute check on our patients.
"How long were we in there?" Potter asked as he fell in step with us.
"Too long," mumbled BJ as he tried to suppress a yawn. He wasn't the only one trying to suppress something,- in my case it was a smile. He looks so damn cute when he yawns.
"We should go and get some shuteye," Potter commented. "We're supposed to be getting more casualties in a couple of hours."
"They never do run out, do they?" I said as I brush my arm against BJ's. A couple of hours would do us fine. We could pick up where we left off and then get some sleep. I looked around at our little group. The only response that I got was complete silence. No one really knew how to answer that question. We quickly said our goodnights and headed off to our tents. BJ and I wasted no time getting back to ours. As soon as the tent door was shut, he reached out for me and pulled me into his embrace.
"The OR session today was murder," he whispered into my ear between kisses that he placed on my neck. "You were so close yet so far. I wanted to reach out and touch you but I couldn't," he said as he ran his hands down my back.
"BJ," I moaned as he pressed his hips to mine. Like I said earlier, I didn't like to give up all my control, so I started to gently push him back towards his bed. When his knees hit the bunk, I pushed a little harder and he fell back. Not wasting any time, I climbed on top of him, pulling his shirt off as I made my way up his bare chest, alternating between nipping and sucking.
Not one to ever be idle, BJ's hands were all over my side and back, tracing patterns, touching, petting. I moaned softly as he touched a particularly sensitive spot on my side. His hands made their way up to my head and weaved themselves into my hair, pulling me in for a kiss. I quickly broke the kiss and started licking a trail down to his nipples. I took one into my mouth and bit down on it, eliciting a deep moan from my partner.
The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and BJ was atop of me, pressing his groin heavily into mine. I moaned as he began to grind his hips. It was becoming too much. If I didn't get him to fuck me soon, I was going to lose it.
I groaned as he sucked on my neck. I bucked my hips, accentuating my point. He wasted no time in pulling my shirt, pants and boxers off, leaving me naked as the day I came into this world. He then hurriedly undressed himself and climbed back on top of me. The contact between our naked pricks was too much.
"I can't wait much longer, Hawk," he said, resting his head in the crook of my neck.
"Then don't," I whispered in his right ear. He reached under the bed and grabbed the tube of Vaseline that we kept there. He somehow managed to open it with one hand and poured some onto his fingers. Before I knew it, he had prepared me and had his dick at my entrance. He looked me deep in the eye as if to ask permission before he entered me. With one hard and deep thrust, he was fully sheathed in me, filling me to the brink. We both gasped at the joining.
I could feel BJ was straining to keep his thrusts shallow. We fell into an easy rhythm, dancing the dance of love, one that we had done many times before, and hoped to do many more times in the future. We were a tangle of limbs. If someone was to look at us, they wouldn't know where one of us began and the other ended.
We never did have need for words when we coupled like this. It was sort of spooky how we understood each other. We usually try to keep things slow, but tonight wasn't one of those nights. Passion was fuelling us, filing our veins. BJ didn't keep up the slow rhythm for long. Soon his hips were thrusting hard into mine. I was meeting his hips with equal passion.
"God, Hawk, not going to last much longer," he said, panting above me. My hands made their way to his face, pulling him in to share a passion-filled kiss. Soon we were nothing but a mass of moans, pants guttural noises, and sighs. My lover shifted his position and with each thrust, he hit my prostate dead on, causing stars to erupt behind my eyes.
His hand snaked down between us and grabbed my prick, pumping in time with his thrusts. He soon lost all control and his thrusts became erratic.
"Beej," I moaned, raking my hands down his back. That would probably be red in the morning, but at that moment, all abilities to think had left my body, passion being the only thing that remains.
"Beej, Beej, Beej," I say over and over, the mantra never ceasing as I reach my peak and take a jump and plummet over, subsequentially, bringing BJ with me. He lay there on top of me, both of us coming down from the incredible high we'd just experienced.
After a few more moments, he rolled off of me and we rearranged on the small one man armycots.
"Am I forgiven?" BJ asked, tracing patterns along my back.
"Yes," I said, pausing to collect my thoughts. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Am I forgiven?" The only response I got was a kiss on the lips.