It was nearly three in the morning, but Peter Pettigrew was still awake. He had been awake for almost twenty-four hours and was exhausted, but he was too scared to sleep. If he fell asleep he was sure to be dead. People on both sides of the war were looking for him now. Instead, he paced the length of the room, trying to make sense of the last few hours in his head. What had gone wrong? Where had the Dark Lord disappeared to? And why was the Potter boy still alive?
Nothing made sense. All he knew was that he was going to be held responsible. He had told the Dark Lord where the Potter's were hiding which lead him straight to disaster. The boy was still alive and the Dark Lord was no where to be found. He had already heard rumors that people thought he was dead. That couldn't be. It just couldn't be. But as he thought this, he looked down at his left forearm and saw that the once vivid tattoo of the Dark Mark was already beginning to fade away. Where there was once a brand that burned black and hot, there was now only just a gray outline. He shuddered when he thought of what that meant. If the Dark Lord was truly gone, then the Death-Eaters were sure to come after him. They were sure to blame this on him. They hadn't trusted him from the beginning.
Peter began to pace the room as he continued to think things over in his head. There has to be a way out of this, he thought to himself. But he couldn't think of anything. His head was too full of thoughts about what was going to happen to him if he were found. Peter started scanning the bedroom of his flat for something to help him out of this mess. His beady eyes searched the cluttered shelves and the shabby walls, but they found nothing of use. Just books and trinkets he had collected over the years. Then his gaze stopped on a picture hanging on the wall above his bed. Peter looked at the faces in the picture, and saw himself with his three best friends from Hogwarts. Remus, James, and Sirius. The faces were all so young. So much had happened since that time. The world was not the same as it was back at Hogwarts.
His thoughts drifted to a few months ago when he first switched sides to join Lord Voldemort and his followers. He hadn't wanted to betray his friends at the time, but things were getting dangerous in the Order of the Phoenix. People were being tortured and dying. It wasn't safe to be a part of the resistance. He would never forget the night he was confronted by Lestrange. He hadn't expected anyone to be waiting for him when he got home, but she was. When he opened the door he was hit by the Cruciatus curse right away. The pain was unbearable. It seared through his body and he couldn't breathe. Peter remembered dropping to the floor and grabbing his chest, but right when he thought he was dying, the pain had subsided. He looked up to see the familiar face of Bellatrix Lestrange. "Had enough?" she asked him in her unforgettable voice that reminded him of baby talk. Peter glared at her as she smiled down at him kneeling down on the ground. He had known her from Hogwarts and knew that she was Sirius' cousin. He hadn't liked her while they were at school. As long as he had known her, she had always been nasty and cruel to him, and it hadn't surprised him one bit when he found out she had joined the Dark side. It suited her to be a Death-Eater. He had tried to reach for his wand but she hit him again with the Cruciatus curse. She began laughing at the sight of him squirming on the floor.
"Don't even think about, Pettigrew," she had said between cackles of laughter. "You're not fast enough to curse me. You might as well not even try."
"What are you doing here?" Peter remembered asking as he gasped for air.
"What? You're not going to ask me how I'm doing first? Where are your manners?" She started to laugh again and then answered him. "Well Pettigrew, I'm here to make you a proposition. It seems the Dark Lord thinks you may be useful to him."
A look of utter fright had spread across Peter's face. "What do you mean by useful? What could he possibly want from me?"
"Oh come on, Pettigrew! Why fight against the Dark Lord? He is going to take over power. You might as well switch sides before it is too late for you. Aren't you tired of fighting against us and losing? The Dark Lord can offer you so much more than Dumbledore can. Can't you see that?"
What she had said made sense to him. He was tired of fighting, but he couldn't just switch sides. "I will not betray my friends," he told her, "They need me."
"Need you? They don't need you. You're pathetic. You couldn't even shield yourself from me a second ago." She kneeled down before him and looked him straight in the eye as she continued. "Do you even help the Order with anything? Or do you just sit there and watch your friends get all the action? Think about it, Peter. Do your so-called friends ever ask for your opinion or for your help on anything?"
Peter remembered being stumped by her question. She had been right. The Order never asked for his input on anything. Sirius and James were always making decisions, but it felt like he never did anything of use.
"Join the Dark Lord, Peter. With your help, this war could be over in a couple of months, if not weeks! You want the war to end, don't you? And don't you want to be useful, without being in constant danger? The Dark Lord could protect you. He wouldn't let anything happen to his little helper, his spy. He is very powerful. Not even Dumbledore has been able to stop him yet. You would be untouchable! And besides, who would suspect you of being a spy anyway. You're perfect for the job. The loyal little friend that is always just along for the ride. No one in the Order would even think you capable of switching sides. That's why the Dark Lord needs you, Peter. He needs you to help him. What do you say?" She grinned wider than he had ever seen her do before. Peter could hardly believe what he was doing at the time, but after a little more convincing he had finally agreed to become a spy.
At first he had been surprised at how easy it was to betray his friends, but once he thought about it, he realized they weren't as close as they once were. Ever since they had left Hogwarts, Peter had felt like he was losing touch with them. They all had others things in their lives now, and Peter had started to feel left out. Besides, it had felt good to be needed and protected. For the little time he had been helping the Dark Lord, he had felt useful. He was finally doing something of worth. The information he had been providing was speeding up the war effort tremendously. The end of the war was looking very close and everything was working out like it was supposed to.
But that all changed tonight, Peter thought. He wasn't even sure what had happened yet, but he knew it wasn't good. I'm sure to be found out now. James and Lily may not be able to tell what happened tonight, but Sirius was sure to have figured it out by now. He knew that Peter was their Secret-Keeper and the only way for the Dark Lord to have found them was if Peter had broken the spell. It would be only a matter of time before Sirius figured out he was a spy and a traitor too, if he hadn't figured it out already.
Peter was beyond scared. He didn't know what he should do. Everything he thought of seemed worthless. He couldn't run to anyone for help, and he couldn't just wait and hide for the rest of his life. He needed some way to clear his name. To make things better.
Then he thought of something. After hours of worrying, panicking, and pacing, he had finally come up with an idea. No one besides Sirius actually knew that he was their Secret-Keeper. Afterall, it had been a last minute decision to change to him anyways. Everyone must still think it was Sirius. Even Remus and Dumbledore weren't made aware of the change. They had both been away at the time on other Order business. If not, James and Lily might have changed to one of them instead of Peter. This is it, Peter thought. This is how I can get out this mess. If everyone still thinks that Sirius was the Secret-Keeper, then all Peter had to do was make sure that Sirius kept quiet. Now he couldn't just outright kill him; that would be too obvious. But if he could frame Sirius, then he might be able to get away with this.
Peter ran the idea through his head a few more times and then decided that it was his best option. If he was going to make this work, though, he needed to get on with it. He needed to get to Sirius before it was too late. He knew what he had to do. The next couple of minutes were either going to set him free or get him killed, but he had to take the risk. There was no turning back now, and with that Peter gathered himself up, took a deep breath and Apparated out of his flat with a small pop.
To be continued….