Minty Fresh
By Hiro Konobu
"I Hiro Konobu only own my fanfics."
(Fic starts off at Café Mew Mew with Ichigo playing a game with a DS she somehow has.)
"Stupid spiky shells, I really hate it when you're barely in first and about to win when you get blasted by one of them." Ichigo says as we see her playing Mariokart DS.
"Well Ichigo I guess it just goes to show that I'm better than you in Mariokart DS even if you were using Luigi, and I was using Peach." Mint said as she reveled in her victory against Ichigo.
"So what you just lucked out and got a spiky shell at the last part of the race if you hadn't of got it then I would have won." Ichigo said as she tried to not sound disappointed about her loss.
"So what I just used a spiky shell so quit yer' bitchin' I beat you fair and square Ichigo." Mint said trying to cement the fact Ichigo lost.
"You didn't beat me fair and square and that's because you used that forbidden snaking technique through most of the course." Ichigo said while trying to find some error over this.
"Well it helped me to win didn't it? Still nothing's more priceless than to see your face whenever you get angry with me." Mint said very sarcastically to Ichigo.
"I just hope someone snakes you into oblivion." Ichigo said as she sighed.
"Girls, quit arguing amongst yourselves and get back to work in terms of cleaning this place up, besides arguing in a humor fic is usually a bad comic device." Ryou said as he came out of that infamous room of his.
"Shoot, I really wanted to go a round of arguing with you Mint." Ichigo said as she picked up a mop to clean up the cafe.
"Yeah I think that's what some of the readers expected but if the author doesn't want to use that then we unfortunately have to respect his wishes." Mint said while also picking up a mop.
"Say why hasn't the story picked up yet?" Ichigo said to Mint.
"You know the author he has somehow has some lame punchline to do that." Mint said as she went to clean up another area as a conveniently placed TV was airing something about…a new pretzel brand with someone oddly familiar.
"Hello viewers, I know what you're saying, and we know you don't like us and were not a known name brand pretzel. Although you can at least give "Hisk" brand pretzels a try, plus we don't have an unsalted flavor so go ahead and be synthesized with flavor." The somewhat familiar person said as the commercial ended.(Six minutes later we see Ichigo, Ryou, and Mint talking about that commercial)
"Say Ryou did you see that commercial with those pretzels?" Ichigo said as she asked Ryou.
"Yeah I did, for some reason I feel like actually getting some of those "Hisk" brand pretzels, I don't why though." Ryou said to Ichigo
"What do you mean I thought those things tasted bad, besides that guy advertising the whole thing looked very familiar to me." Mint said with a suspicious look on her face.
"So I take it you don't want any pretzels do you Mint?" Ichigo said sarcastically to Mint.
"No…and I'm supposed to be the sarcastic one. So don't take my bit." Mint said to Ichigo trying not to get angry at what she just did.
"Well it's your loss good not unsalted pretzels here we come." Let's go Ichigo." Ryou said as he and Ichigo both leave the café.
"Why do I have a Sasha-ish bad feeling about those pretzels." Mint said as she watched the café as Ryou and Ichigo left to get those pretzels…though to avoid more tedium let's do some more time skipping folks.
(Seventeen minutes later)
"Stupid author, always using a time skip gag to move the story along I swear he can't make good comedy even if he tried." Mint said as she was obviously pissed off at the author. "You think something would happen right now, and speaking of which, where's Ichigo, and Ryou? A simple pretzel shopping shouldn't have taken this long. Mint said as a stray pink like blast comes through and almost zaps Mint. "Now who could that obviously be?" Mint said to finally end the banter she was drooling on with.
"No one important just your so-called friend Ichigo." Ichigo said in a voice that could be hinted to the fact she was brainwashed by something.
"So let me guess all the time we've been bickering and you finally had enough and just started to attack me for no reason huh? Well I have to say is this Mew Mew Mint Metamorphosis!" Mint said as she transformed. However a hypnotized Ryou surprises her. "Ryou! What the heck are you doing?" A surprised Mint says, however a voice is heard from the doorway of the café.
"Foolish little bird! Did you really expect me to not to hypnotize Ryou as well as Ichigo?" A voice said from said doorway.
"You know you can forget the very clichéd hiding act…Kish." Mint said while confusing the readers on how she knew it was Kish.
"So how did you guess it was me?" Kish said coming from the doorway towards Mint.
"Let's just say the author accidentally left a script of this fanfic lying about in Radio Hiro I just wanted to pick it up and see what overused reference he wanted to do for it." Mint said holding up a copy of this fic, and somehow at this time she had escaped Ryou's grasp, while Kish sweatdrops.
"So what it if you knew who I was by reading that still I'm going to beat you in a parody-like fashion." However before Kish could finish up his statement, Mint interrupts Kish with a question.
"Excuse me but why did you have to hypnotize Ichigo and Ryou just so you could try to kill me? I mean that's a long way to go to do something not funny." Mint said while fighting off screen with Ichigo and Ryou.
"Well Mint I had wanted to hypnotize as much of the Tokyo population as I could, but I needed an idea that would perfect so I simply chose the pretzel route, by now I guess you knew the name was very similar to mine, though it didn't work too well in turn the only two people I got were Ryou and Ichigo, so in turn. Kish said before…
"Wow and I thought I could be very sarcastic…" Mint said with her head down. "Heart Arrow!" Somehow Mint's technique hit both Ryou Ichigo and Ryou knocking them out, also surprising Kish a little.
"Holy crap you actually attacked your partners! In fact what a completely unexpected maneuver to do, it really shocked me...ah well Merchant Union!" Kish said while about to summon a Kirema Anima out of nowhere.
"Hey wait a minute I didn't see any animals about or even if you own this building!" Mint said to Kish.
"Well blame that Merchant Union bit towards too much Advance Wars using the CO Hachi. Kish said to Mint while the Kirema Anima was still trying to pop up.
"Okay in that case Market Crash!" Mint said while in this case a Market Crash here only destroyed the Kirema Anima.
"Well I guess I'm not the only one who has played that game now have I?" Kish said seeing his reference backfired on him.
"You aren't whenever I'm not having afternoon tea, or at my ballet classes I love playing my DS as you can see. Mint said to Kish.
"Well I brought my DS and that Mario Kart DS game, what do you say that if you beat me I'll reverse the hypnotism, and leave you alone for the rest of this fic, but if I beat you in 2 out of 3 races you become my concubine…" Kish said as Mint slapped him hard for that comment.
"Kish you perverted minded idiot! Sure I'll battle you, but not in that way." Mint said obviously angry at Kish.
"Well okay then now we shall get started." Kish said as he pulled out his DS.
(2 out of 3 Mario Kart DS matches later, because the author is getting lazy and doesn't want to write out the details of the battle)
"Well damn, I guess your skills with Peach are legitimate despite her inability to drift properly." Kish said lamenting his loss.
"Yeah well you're not a bad Toad player yourself." Mint said to Kish.
"Next time let's battle without stipulations ok?" Kish said to Mint somewhat excitedly.
"Well…er…okay, but what about my friends huh?" Mint said to Kish.
"They should be back up to their normal selves, probably after I leave. Kish said as he left for the rest of the fic.
"Why do I have the feeling that a corny ending is coming up?" Mint said very sarcastically, as Ryou and Ichigo begun to wake up.
"Say Ichigo you know what after we got those pretzels and why you and Mint are in mew form?" Ryou said as he got up.
"I don't know but I get the feeling we were in a trance from those pretzels, though the execution of it didn't feel good." Ichigo said in a somewhat sarcastic tone.
"Stop stealing my bit!" Mint said again.
(Meanwhile on the spaceship we see a certain playing a game)
"I'm not going to let Mint beat me the next time!"
End Fic
"To explain the techs that Kish and Mint used in one part of the fic…in Advance Wars there's a CO known as Hachi who uses has a Super CO power tech known as Merchant Union it allows him to summon units on any city/base, also noted when Mint used Sasha's Market Crash it nullified the Merchant Union tactic Kish used since in that game it decreases power Super CO abilities. I hope that explained some of the Advance Wars references used in this fic…now leave a review."