Going Back to Avenue Q
A fanfiction sequel to the musical Avenue Q.
Setting: It's been 5 years since Christmas Eve and Brian moved out of Avenue Q. After living the "high life" of middle class America, they have found themselves yet again in financial trouble. Specifically, the decline in Christmas Eve's patient visits and payments and the breakdown of the consulting agency that hired Brian has finally dwindled their pecuniary resources, leaving them unable to pay several months' rent for their new apartment. With an impending eviction, Christmas Eve and Brian return to Avenue Q.
Note: Each chapter will include an original song based off Avenue Q. This is done so it still feels like a musical as you read along.
Chapter 1
After scrambling their pockets to pay a cab fee, Christmas Eve and Brian lug flamboyant "trendy" Japanese luggage and five cardboard boxes that are the same height as Christmas Eve down the unkempt street of Avenue Q. As they struggle, they peruse the environment that's so familiar yet now so foreign to them, due largely in part to the surprise that changes have been made in this community over the past 5 years. They don't even walk past one building when they are met with a familiar face.
"Christmas Eve? Brian? You guys are here?" Nicky asks, nasally.
"Yes, we rearry are returning," Christmas Eve answers, a tad out of breath.
Nicky recklessly runs up to the pair and hugs them, causing them both to release their luggage and any rope attached to their hands for easier transportation of the boxes. "It's so great to see you again! Wait till you see Avenue Q now," Nicky exclaims, seemingly neglecting the fact that the couple has yet to settle in.
Running into the middle of the street, Nicky calls out to the buildings, "Trekkie Monster! Kate! Princeton! Rod! Lucy! Guess who's back!"
A stampede of familiar and friendly people emerges from various buildings, trampling over one another to see what the raucous is all about.
Simultaneously, the Avenue Q gang shouts, "Christmas Eve and Brian are back!"
After an overwhelming barrage of hugs and well wishes, Brian cracks down to business. "Is there any place available for us to rent?"
Lucy, who has, since her experience in the hospital five years past, dropped her infamous nickname of "Lucy the Slut," struts over to Brian. "Certainly, honey, in the building you used to live in."
"You mean, no one has rented our place since we left?" Brian asks.
Princeton, (to the tune of It Sucks to Be Me)
Well…
5 years ago, just after you left
Some helpless college boy, so young and so heft
Came round to Avenue Q to find himself a place
To call his new home
Kate
Your old set of keys were given to him
The apartment happened to cater to his whims
A glow resonated from his 22 year old face
Because he found himself a home
Rod
But after two months, we all realized
This kid was living a life too idealized
He'd sit all day, never pay the rent, and leave his trash everywhere
Nicky
So we all ganged up on him to kick him the hell outta here
Princeton
Then 6 months later, this sweet old lady dropped by
Kate
Her habits made the street smell like a pigsty
Rod
So yet again, we all knew
Exactly what we had to do
Nicky
And we didn't give a fuck that she's feeble and age sixty-five
Princeton
So, you can see, we had a pattern going on
Kate
In each new tenant, we'd find something wrong
Rod
We'd then decide that they must move right along
To someone else's neighborhood
Nicky
And only last year did we conclude
It's only home at Avenue Q
When you're living with us, too-
With your friends- that's who
We just can't replace you
In our home of Avenue Q
You know your heart's in Avenue Q
Welcome back to Avenue Q!
Christmas Eve, Kleenex in hand, whimpers and hugs the Avenue Q gang, saying, "I rearry miss you guy!"
"Aw, thanks guys!" Brian says, joining in another hug fest in the middle of the street.
Then, stomping down the fire escape of the first building on the street comes Gary. "Whatchu talkin' bout down there?"
"Darlin', Christmas Eve and Brian are here!" Lucy announces.
"Say wha?" Gary responds, walking down toward the pair in shock.
"What happened to your jobs as therapist and consultant?" Kate Monster asks with hints of concern.
"My crient stop making regurar visit. They never rearry paid for session either," Christmas Eve grimly recalls.
"The consulting company lost money and the business shut down," Brian chimes in.
"Wait till you hear about what's been going on here!" Kate Monster squeals.
"Well, first off, I'd like to say that Kate and I are together," announces Princeton. "And I think I've finally found my purpose!"
"Rearry? Then terr us, Princeton, what is your purpose in rife?" Christmas Eve asks earnestly.
Princeton, to the tune of PurposeI don't know how I knew
But I think I found my purpose
Can't believe this thought came through:
My B.A. in English wasn't useless
I'm finding out, as time passes along
What I should be focusing my life on
Now I know my purpose- now I can move on
"In short," Princeton continues, "I have become an English teacher at Kate's school."
"That's excellent!" Brian exclaims.
"And that's not all," Kate chimes in. "The school has been doing so well, and faculty is growing fast. And… guess who's the computer technician and technology teacher?"
From behind the crowd of Avenue Q-sters, Trekkie Monster shrinks his head down but raises his arm hesitantly, as if somewhat embarrassed that he's seemingly given up his perverted, porn-obsessed persona.
"Trekkie Monster?" Christmas Eve and Brian ask unbelievingly.
"Yeah, I teach at Monster School," Trekkie finally admits. "If I can't have happy memory of school, I may as well give happy memory of school to other monsters."
"But don't be fooled by his new occupation," Rod pipes in. "We all know- even the students, sadly- that on his spare time, he still peruses his collection-o-porn via the world wide web!"
Trekkie Monster blushes, but everyone laughs in understanding.
"What about you, Rod?" Brian asks.
"Well, I am currently unattached," Rod says, proudly. "I prefer the bachelor life for now, since I'm still getting nowhere near success as an investment banker."
"That's a euphemism for: he hasn't had a successful relationship yet," Nicky translates.
"Well, at least I'm still not bumming around and MOOCHING off of my friend's money," Rod reveals.
Nicky shrugs and says, "I've had on-and-off jobs."
Then, with shock, Brian scans Lucy. "What happened to you?"
"Well, doll, you know I've decided to tone down that slut image. So I've settled down. I'm with Gary," Lucy says in her trademark seductive voice.
"I guess now it doesn't suck to be me, huh?" Gary pipes in.
As they all chuckle, Brian notices Christmas Eve still looking glum. "What's the matter honey?"
"What am I gonna do, Blian? Where can I find job now?" Christmas Eve ponders.
They all stop to stare at the ground and think. Feet tap, fingers pat on heads, and even a tumbleweed passes by as they all try to figure out how to get at least one of the two employed.
10 minutes later, Princeton's head shoots up and he smiles, saying, "Hey! I have an idea! Since Christmas Eve is a therapist, she can perhaps be a therapist at the school!"
Kate, raising her head slowly as though considering the idea before she can stand upright, breaks into a smile. "That's a brilliant idea, Princeton!" The two hug and begin to kiss.
"A-hem!" the others grunt at the obviously in love couple.
"Um, yeah, so that's an idea," Princeton mumbles, now staring at the ground in a state of temporary shame from the PDA.
"That an excerrent idea, Plinceton," Christmas Eve beams.
"Now that we have some money guaranteed, can we settle in to our old home?" Brian asks.
"Old home? Brian, it's been yo' home all along," Gary says.
As most of the gang helps the couple return home, Princeton and Kate stay behind on the street for a moment together.
"Things are looking up. Life's gonna be great now that they've come back!" Princeton beams.
"Remember, Princeton, they've known what it's like to live with more… stuff. I know they're the same at heart, but I know some perspectives must have changed," Kate adds, a bit glumly.
"Oh, Kate, don't be so negative about it," Princeton assures.
As Princeton pulls in Kate for a kiss, Kate's head pulls back so she can talk. "Do you think we should tell the others about… well, you know…"
"In due time, Kate, in due time," Princeton says.
As the sun sets, Christmas Eve and Brian, with the help of Trekkie Monster, Gary, Lucy, Nicky, and Rod, settle in to their apartment and Princeton and Kate share a short, sweet kiss.
However, unbeknownst to one another, yet common among all, are feelings of hope, anxiety, and curiosity as all anticipate the upcoming change.