After a few days of taking the "long way round", the Doctor was itching to travel again. He slept in the TARDIS while John stayed at the flat, and each night he was tempted to go somewhere. It was Monday evening now. Only a little over 24 hours before he could go and pick up Clara. The Time Lord was making his way around the console when he had an idea.

"No. I can't do that. What if he finds out?" muttered the Doctor to himself.

It occurred to the Doctor that he could skip ahead to Wednesday, take Clara on her own adventure and then return Monday evening to finish out the week with John.

"I mean, it's only fair to give Clara her own adventure, right?"

He'd let John take them to the football match. Why couldn't he take Clara somewhere? Nothing crazy. The Doctor pulled on his hair in annoyance. He actually was really enjoying his time with John. Yes, it was very…different from what he was used to. Nevertheless, it was actually quite fun.

But…Clara. He didn't want to admit that he wanted to spend some time with her without his "little brother" tagging along. Just so he could get to know her, of course…no other reason….

"Sod it."

The Doctor quickly threw on his tweed and bow-tie then sent the TARDIS to the Maitland residence. He settled for Tuesday evening and figured he could just blame it on the TARDIS. That way, he could still take both Clara and John out on Wednesday. John would never know.

"What's the worst that could happen?" the Doctor said to himself as he made his way to the front door.

…

Turns out getting stranded on a sinking Soviet sub with a psychotic martian was what could happen. The Doctor meant to take Clara to Vegas but somehow ended up spending nearly two weeks speaking Russian. Not to mention traumatising the poor girl. Clara kept mentioning how awful it was to see those men's mangled bodies. And then they had to spend what felt like an eternity trying to get back to the TARDIS because he'd gone and messed with the HADS.

The Doctor just hoped that he could still get the Old Girl to return moments after they'd left so that John wouldn't find out.

The Doctor now stood with Clara at the Maitlands' doorstep, moments after their departure. Thank whatever gods allowed it.

"I'm really sorry, Clara. I know you were expecting something…different."

Clara was fiddling with her key in the lock and chuckled. He was surprised at how indifferent she'd seemed to the whole debacle. Almost like she expected their trip to go wrong. The Time Lord didn't know if that was good or bad.

"You really need to stop apologising, Doctor. I think I'm more annoyed at how many times you've said you're sorry the past two weeks rather than almost getting killed," she chuckled.

The Doctor smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He'd gotten Clara killed in Victorian London, and now the thought that it almost happened to her…a third time made him wince.

"Right, well, I'll be back tomorrow with John if you're still up for another adventure. I promise the HADS situation is fixed, so no more TARDIS abandoning us. Cross my hearts."

Clara smiled. "Be here at seven," she said as she closed the door and retreated into the house.

The Doctor managed to go back to the moment he'd gotten it in his head to be a complete idiot and break his promise to John. He watched as the TARDIS dematerialised and then made his way out of the current TARDIS, back towards the flat. He knocked on the door. After a few minutes, the door opened.

"Doctor? What is it?" John's hair was a mess, and he only had one eye open after turning on the light. He was in only his sweatpants as he moved to let the Doctor enter.

"Oh, just didn't feel like staying in the TARDIS tonight." John just nodded and looked at the clock.

"It's four in the morning. You're welcome to stay on the sofa if you'd like. But, I'm going to go back to bed." John turned to walk to his room when the Doctor stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"John."

"What?" John was now fully awake, sensing something was wrong.

The Doctor scrunched his face and sighed. "I broke my promise to you."

John nodded slowly. "Okay….what do you mean?"

"Well…" the Doctor was fiddling with his bow-tie, then scratched at his cheek. "I sort of cheated. Skipped ahead. Took Clara on an adventure then came back." The elder Time Lord was closing his eyes in preparation for John's anger. He waited.

"Oh. Um, okay."

The Doctor opened his eyes. "Okay? You're… you're not mad."

Now John was shuffling around, causing the Doctor to tilt his head. "John? What is it?"

"Ah, well, if you don't get mad, I won't get mad."

"Oh, God. John. What did you do?"

John rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously.

"Right. Well, remember Friday evening when I said I needed to study for my history exam?"

"Yes…" said the Doctor, unsure of where this was going.

"And I gave you some money to go watch a film, so you had something to do?"

"Yes…" now the Doctor was getting nervous.

"I may have…sort of…went about "studying" history…quite literally."

"No. John. NO! Tell me you didn't take the TARDIS?"

"I didn't take the TARDIS."

"Oh, thank god. What did you do then?"

"I took the TARDIS."

…

John face planted into his history book with a groan. He loathed studying the past. It just wasn't interesting when he knew he could just hop in the TARDIS and actually experience it for himself!

"Oi! Fancy seeing you here."

John lifted his head in surprise to see none other than Clara holding a large stack of books.

"Clara? What are you doing at the library?"

"What does it look like, John? I'm getting books," she chuckled as she awkwardly set the stack of books down on the table. She took the seat across from him. John smiled as he took hold of the books.

"Let's see here. Oooh, I've read that one. Not that. Oh, that's absolute rubbish, Clara. Don't read that." He took the book and threw it over his shoulder when he immediately heard a man yell.

"What the fuck? You little twat!"

Both Clara and John saw a large scary bloke making his way over to their table, holding the hardcover book John had just apparently thrown at the man.

"John! What the hell!" Clara said in a harsh whisper. The man was getting closer.

"He's not going to do anything while we're in a public library," snapped John.

He noticed Clara's eyes go wide.

"John, I'm fairly certain he's going to do something by the look on his face."

John casually turned and cringed. He'd seen this bloke before.

"Oh, shit." John abruptly stood up and grabbed Clara's hand as he dragged her out of the library.

"John!" yelled Clara. They made their way out of the doors and down the street before ducking into a coffee shop. John was laughing as Clara glared at him.

"John! He looked like he was going to kill you!"

John calmed. "Well, it wouldn't have been the first time. I may have had a prior altercation with the bloke."

Clara rolled her eyes. "What did you do?"

"I sort of knocked him out at a pub last week." John half winced, half smiled as Clara playfully punched him in the arm.

"I can't believe you! That's terrible! Why would you do that?"

John flapped his arms around and explained to Clara how the man nearly knocked him unconscious first.

They were now seated at a table with coffee in hand.

"So, what were you studying anyway?" asked Clara.

"Oh, that. I was studying for my history exam. Terribly boring. I mean, I could just take the fucking TARDIS to anytime, any place and see for myself. Instead, I have to read it all in a book."

"John!"

"What? It's true. Clara, don't tell me you would rather read a book over seeing history in the making?"

Clara sat back in her seat and thought it over. "Well, I mean, you do have a point."

"See! So, tell me. All of history at your fingertips. Where would you want to go?"

Clara animatedly tapped her finger on her chin to exaggerate the point that she was thinking hard.

"I think it would be brilliant to see what it was like in England during the Renaissance."

…

"He's going to kill us!" said Clara with a laugh.

"Shhhh," giggled John as he crept over to the TARDIS and inserted the key. "He's currently occupied at the moment. I sent him to see The Wolf of Wallstreet. Told him to keep watching for the wolf. The film is like three hours long. Knowing him, he'll sit there thinking that a literal wolf will appear any moment."

Clara shook her head. "You are terrible."

"I know," John laughed.

They entered the TARDIS, and John began turning on all the controls.

"Have you done this before?" questioned Clara. He could tell she was nervous.

"Oh, sure. Loads of times," he lied.

John began to press buttons while Clara started looking around. She opened up what appeared to be a hatch and pulled out a brown tweed jacket.

"John," she called. "Have a look at this."

John smiled. "Oh, yeah! He used to wear that. I've never seen him actually wear it, but I've seen pictures."

Clara threw the jacket at John, hitting him right in the face. He picked the old tweed up off the floor then raised his eyebrow as he put it on. John then began to dance around the console.

"Look at me! I'm the Doctor! I'm over 900 years old and still completely unaware of how to behave like a normal bloke in social situations!" he said in a mocking voice.

Clara was giggling. She then reached into the storage and found a red bow tie. "John," she simply said as she held it up.

…

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Clara. "You look just like him!" Clara was holding up a picture of the Doctor from when he used to wear the brown tweed as John modelled the now complete get up. They'd found the rest of the ensemble and couldn't resist videoing John waltzing around the TARDIS as the Doctor.

John wasn't paying attention when he leaned on the lever. The TARDIS shook violently while suddenly, what appeared to be oil sprayed all over Clara. The two idiots had identical looks of terror on their faces. When the time machine finally came to an abrupt halt, John put his hand over his mouth to try and stop his laughter when he got a good look at Clara.

"Shut up," was all she said as she began to try and wipe the tar-like substance off of herself.

"I wasn't going to say anything," replied John, trying not to smirk.

Clara rolled her eyes. "I'm sure there must be a shower here somewhere. I think we've made the stupid cow angry," said Clara as she began to walk towards the corridor.

"You just called the TARDIS a…" he mouthed the insult. His eyes were wide.

"So? It is! I swear this machine doesn't like me."

"Well, of course not when you call her names! Clara, you better watch yourself. I remember when I was younger, and I messed with the controls. She hid the loo from me for like a week and then resupplied all my underwear with nappies." He scrunched up his face as he shook his head at the memory. "I think she was trying to tell me that if I was going to act like a toddler then…well," he was laughing now.

Clara just scoffed and walked off.

"Good luck finding a shower! Probably will just rain more muck down on you!" he yelled. When he heard no reply, he walked back to the viewscreen.

Had the TARDIS taken them somewhere? He'd started putting in the coordinates for the Renaissance in England before getting sidetracked. But he didn't actually remember the proper year or the exact coordinates for England. Before he could see where they were, the wooden doors began to open. John froze, afraid to face said doors, thinking that the Doctor had figured out that there was no actual wolf in the movie.

"… I'm telling you, that was a vampire! We just need to tell the…Doctor?"

John slowly turned around to see none other than Amy and Rory. He gave a pathetic wave, unsure of how to proceed.

"Doctor, why did you move the TARDIS?" asked Rory but Amy butt in before John could come up with an excuse.

"We just saw a vampire!"

John's mind was whirring at lightning speed, trying to place when he was in the Doctor's timeline. 'Think, dammit. Okay, vampires. And I was aiming for the Renaissance…ah!'

"Ah right! Wouldn't be Venice without some vampires now…would it?" he'd meant to sound more confident, but with the way the couple was staring at him now, it made him nervous.

"Doctor, are you okay? You look…odd," said Amy as she started walking closer to him.

John instinctively backed into the console, realising he had nowhere to run.

"Oh, well, you know me…I am… odd. Odd. That's me. The Doctor. Which is me. You know…the uh, odd…bloke," he tried to smile but ended up just looking confused.

"Right," said Rory as he made a face to Amy. "I'm going to run to our room and change my shoes. I stepped in some water. It's like the whole city is sinking or something," said Rory as he walked towards his room.

Amy was studying "the Doctor" as he started moving about the console, desperately trying to look busy.

"Doctor? Is everything alright?" she questioned.

"Of course! Why…why wouldn't it be? Having an adventure with my best mates. Vampires. You know. The uh, usual," he tugged on his collar then adjusted the bow-tie. 'Oh, god. I'm not like him. I'm not like him," he thought.

"You're not acting weird because of what happened the other night, right?" Amy had a concerned look on her face.

John had no idea what she was talking about and couldn't hide the fact he wasn't privy to what she was alluding to by the face he was now making.

She leaned in, "You know… when I jumped you… and tried to…" she was whispering now. "…tried to shag you."

John nearly fell over as he fumbled for a bit. The Doctor certainly didn't tell him about that particular adventure with Amy.

"I mean, that's why you've brought Rory and me here, isn't it? You wanted us to have a romantic time together? I just want you to know, Doctor. I choose Rory. We nearly died, and I was just…well, let's just say there were a lot of emotions involved." Amy gave a nervous laugh and was about to say something when Rory came back into the console room.

He had a strange look on his face then gestured behind him with his thumb. "Er, Doctor. Why? Why is there a girl wandering around the TARDIS?"

John slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Shit!"

Amy and Rory's mouths dropped, and John quickly tried to recover.

"Shit…shita..ma...hooie….you know, the uh, er, planet. Anyway, um, that…that would most likely be Clara," he gave an innocent smile, but Rory still looked confused.

"Right," said Rory. "And who is Clara, exactly?"

"Oh, my um, well, friendly, uh lady, friend. She, I, we, er, I mean you know." He was flailing now. God, what is it about the tweed and bow-tie that makes one want to flail around so much?

"Well, you two, when you're doing your, couple-y things it can get lonely so, sometimes Clara travels with me. For the company."

Rory cleared his throat as Amy, and he exchanged more confused glances.

"And…when you say your, "lady friend"…that would explain why, well…" he gave Amy a nervous glance. "That would explain why she's wandering about the TARDIS in nothing but her, um, knickers."

'Fuck,' thought John.

"Oh, well, that's because…" how could he explain this?

"That's because it's a game." He could see the couple was practically glaring at him for giving them so many terrible excuses. "You know a very sexy, er, adult game?"

The Doctor was going to kill him. He was going to kill him, then murder him, then he'd regenerate so the Doctor could kill and murder him again.

"Well, she seemed upset. She was saying something about being locked out of her room," said Rory.

"Ah, right. Just…give me a minute." John ran the hell out of the console room to find Clara. He had no idea what he was doing but figured he could help her find her room then try to smooth over the cluster fuck of a situation he'd gotten himself into. John rounded a corner in time to see Clara, just as Rory had said, standing in her knickers, kicking a door.

"Clara!" he yelled in a harsh whisper. She jumped then tried to cover herself as best she could.

"The stupid cow locked me out!"

"I told you not to call her names!" John had his eyes closed as he took off the tweed and handed it to her. "Here, put this on."

"Thanks," she said in an annoyed tone. "Well, the sooner we get sorted, the sooner we can pretend this never happened so the Doctor won't find out." She shook her head, trying not to laugh but then stopped when she saw how terrified John looked. "Oh, god. What's wrong?"

John bobbed his head side to side as if he was working out whether or not to tell Clara about their "guests." Finally, he loosened his collar, threw the bow tie on the ground, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"What the hell are you doing?" cried Clara.

"I'm taking these fucking clothes off!"

Clara's eyes went wide, causing him to wince.

"NO! I mean, I'm taking off the Doctor's stuff. I'm leaving my trousers on, for god's sake… don't look at me like that." He rolled his eyes.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Amy and Rory are here. Apparently, the TARDIS took us to a time when they were travelling with the Doctor, and they think I'm him."

By now, John had thrown the Doctor's clothes on the floor and stood in his trousers and undershirt.

"Who?" asked Clara. John forgot that Clara wouldn't know who the Doctor's past companions were.

"Oh, right. They used to travel with the Doctor. Before I did."

"They wouldn't happen to be a tall ginger girl and a man with a rather large nose, would they?"

John tilted his head. "Actually, that description is surprisingly accurate…" he then turned his head when he heard someone clear their throat.

Amy and Rory were now standing a few metres away.

"Um, we'll just let you two, er…." Amy began grabbing Rory's hand to lead him back where they came from.

"Wait!" called John. He then noticed how precarious his and Clara's appearances were before he blurted out, "we weren't having sex!"

Clara placed her hand over her face in embarrassment as she held the tweed jacket closer to her body. Amy and Rory just looked at each other before walking away. John put his head in his hands then pulled his hair.

"He's going to take away my TARDIS key. He certainly isn't going to give me my own sonic, and he most definitely is not going to let me fly the TARDIS again!" he whinged.

"Oh, do shut up!" hissed Clara. "Let's just get our clothes and get the hell out of here. He barely knows me. If anything, he's going to still take you around and just dump me off."

John scoffed a laugh.

"What? It's true! After this mess, he certainly won't want anything to do with me." Clara once again began trying to open the door. John gently removed her hand and turned the knob with ease as the door opened.

"I highly doubt that out of the two of us, he'd give you up," John mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." John turned and made his way back to the console room. By the time Clara returned, John had taken them back to moments after they'd left and tucked the Doctor's old clothes back into the storage compartment. Clara gave him a tight smile as she rounded the console and stood by him. She could sense that John was upset at himself.

"You know, for what it's worth, John. I had fun," she was giggling now. "Oh, my stars. Did you see their faces?"

John couldn't help but laugh. "I'm pretty certain we've altered history just now. Oh, god. Let's get the hell out of here and never speak of this again," he chuckled.

They made their way out of the TARDIS as John locked the doors behind them.

Before Clara got into her taxi, she turned and looked at John. "You were lying when you said you'd flown her loads of times, right?"

John merely smirked and shrugged his shoulders. Clara laughed as she entered the cab and waved goodbye. "See you Wednesday, John!" she yelled as the car drove off, and John waved goodbye.

…

The Doctor now sat across John at the small kitchen table with his mouth hanging open. He was gaping like fish, trying to find the words to comment on John's "little adventure." Finally, he sat back in his seat, closed his eyes and shook his head with a small laugh.

"Now it makes sense," he chuckled.

"What does?" asked John nervously.

The Doctor huffed another laugh before he spoke. "After Venice and the bit with the vampires that weren't actually vampires, Amy kept asking me where my "lady friend" was. I never understood what she meant." The Doctor was full-on laughing now, then put his head in his hands and spoke in a muffled voice. "This whole time, they probably thought I was keeping strange women hidden away in the TARDIS." He lifted his head as he continued to laugh.

"Well," he continued. "You obviously didn't change history then, given this must have always been how it was meant to be." The Doctor was silent and just shrugged. "And I can't even be angry with you because we both lied and took the TARDIS for a joy ride without the other knowing."

John had a goofy smile on his face and shrugged, "must be in our DNA."