Going Back to Avenue Q
A fanfiction sequel to the musical Avenue Q.
Note: Each chapter will include an original song based off Avenue Q. This is done so it still feels like a musical as you read along. Some songs will be repeated, only because their melodies are repeated here and there throughout the show, too.
Chapter 3
Despite its small size, Avenue Q is buzzing with busy-ness the next morning.
First, Rod arises, going through his very anal-retentive morning routine: ironing every article of clothing he plans to wear for the day, dressing up slowly so as not to create any wrinkles on his newly ironed clothes, brushing his teeth, eating breakfast, then using an electric toothbrush to brush his teeth after his meal. He then proceeds to wake up Nicky in hopes of getting Nicky to apply himself; as always, he fails to drag Nicky out of bed. Finally, Rod takes his suitcase, his laptop, his Palm Pilot, and his newest book most likely about showtunes and heads off to work.
Meanwhile, Gary and Lucy slowly emerge from their bed. Gary proceeds to shower, eat, then heads off to inspect the nooks and crannies of Avenue Q. Lucy gets ready and heads off to her job since she quit singing- a strippersize instructor at the local gym. Although she herself has sworn off publicly pulling off the "slut" act, she feels she's found her purpose in teaching others her craft.
Trekkie, Princeton, Kate, and Christmas Eve prepare for a day at school. Kate tries to be energized, knowing that, with the exception of the kindergarteners who have yet to learn the downer known as Mondays, the monster students will not be energized for schoolwork. Princeton perkily reviews his lessons for the day while Trekkie uploads his Lucy-generator program for a "quickie."
In their apartment, Christmas Eve and Brian eat breakfast and discuss Christmas Eve's anxiety.
"What if they don't rike me?" Christmas Eve worries.
"Don't worry, honey," Brian replies. "They'll need your assistance- they can't hate you."
"I suppose you right," Christmas Eve says, still with uncertainty.
With that, Christmas Eve's first day at the Monsterssori School commences.
---
After assembling outdoors, Kate calls everyone's attention with a bullhorn, due to the lack of a P.A. system and a gymnasium.
"Attention everyone!" Kate announces, with feigned perkiness. "I'd like to introduce the new school psychologist- Christmas Eve!"
Silence floods over, and the monsters do not respond at all. Faint enthusiastic claps are heard from Princeton, and Trekkie claps to the offbeat of Princeton's clapping rhythm.
"Right. Have a great day, everyone!" Kate finishes off on the bullhorn.
With that, everyone rushes inside the school's walls, except for Christmas Eve.
"Thank you, Kate Monster, for giving me job," Christmas Eve says, placing her hand on Kate Monster's shoulder.
"Of course! You've done a lot for me when you were here before. I need to return the favor!" Kate answers.
As they walk through the doors, Princeton runs toward Kate, nearly knocking her over when he sloppily stops himself. "I need to speak with you in your office," Princeton says, gasping and pitchy in voice.
As they walk into Kate's principal's office, Princeton rushes to shut the door. He grabs Kate, shakes her, and announces softly, "I have an idea to tell everyone about us!"
"REALLY? PRINCETON, THAT'S WONDERFUL!" Kate exclaims, a little too loud for comfort.
"Shh!" Princeton commands. "I don't want anyone to know yet!"
"Right," Kate says, calming herself down.
"Okay. Great," Princeton says. "You know how Christmas Eve has just started here?"
"Yes?" Kate asks, confused as to what Princeton is trying to suggest.
"What if we throw a celebration dinner- welcoming her to the school and welcoming her and Brian back to Avenue Q?" Princeton asks, eagerly.
"That's brilliant!" Kate says. "It's absolutely brilliant! Yes- we'll invite everyone on the street and announce-"
"That we've finally engaged!" Princeton finishes, with excitement.
They agree to plan this event and kiss each other quickly before returning to their duties. As Kate meditates before she begins working, she notes that Princeton finally showed some excitement in announcing the big news. Now comforted, Kate hums happily and goes through paperwork.
---
Nicky and Brian both emerge into daylight for the first time at noon, taking out the trash. They acknowledge each other and walk toward each other.
"Hi there, Brian!" Nicky greets.
"Hey, Nicky!" Brian says, returning the greeting.
"So we're both unemployed once again, huh?" Nicky says.
"Yup, but now I need to find a job more than ever," Brian answers.
"Yeah, I think I'll need to do that, too," Nicky replies.
Brian, to the tune of It Sucks to be Me
Now that I'm married,
I need to get employed
Nicky (spoken)
Yahuh!
Brian
Or else my sex life
Will be null and void
I need to earn
My daily bread and avoid
A loss of dignity.
Nicky (spoken)
That's right!
Brian
I need to get paid
Nicky (spoken)
Me too!
Brian
I need to get paid
To satisfy my wife
And ensure that I will get laid
I need to get paid
(spoken) Why would you need a job, Nicky?
Nicky
I've mooched off Rod
For many, many years
And he's more anal
Since he declared that he's queer
To get him off my back
I need to adhere
To some sort of normal occupation
And then we'll have more cooperation
I need to get paid
I need to get paid
If being roommates with Rod is where I want to stay
I need to get paid
Gary emerges from his apartment and joins along (spoken)
You guys complain you need to get paid?
Brian (spoken)
Yeah. What's it to you, Gary?
Gary (spoken)
Well, I'm at a loss for money
Brian and Nicky (spoken)
But you're the super!
Gary (spoken)
No, not with just that.
Brian and Nicky (spoken)
Then whatchu talkin' bout, Gary?
Gary (rolls his eyes)
Well…
I was on TV
Back in the day
Now that I'm the super here
Those days are M.I.A.
And now my pride's at stake
Cuz Lucy's earning our pay
And being just a super
Ain't enough for me- no way
I need to get paid
(spoken) Another way
I need to get paid
I need to boost my celebrity status right away
I need to get paid
(spoken) Even though I'm content at
to tune of Avenue Q theme
Avenue Q
I'm content at Avenue Q
I swear it's true
But I want the limelight too
Besides enjoying Avenue Q
And living with all of you
I need more than Avenue Q
"Is that true, Gary?" Brian asks, after hearing Gary's desire to get back in the biz.
"Whatchu mean, Brian?" Gary asks.
"You want another acting job?" Brian inquires, earnestly.
"Hell yeah!" Gary replies. "I need to redeem myself! These people have got to remember me for more than just saying 'Whatchu talking bout, Willis?'"
Brian and Nicky shrug and say goodbye to Gary, who's off to run errands. In the meantime, Brian and Nicky read the classifieds in Nicky and Rod's apartment, but to no avail. What they don't know is, Gary's "errands" include finding an agent and seeking auditions to attend.
---
At 7:00 P.M., Rod sighs heavily as he walks down Avenue Q from a hard day at work. As he slowly trudges toward his apartment, he glances up and notices an unfamiliar figure walking toward him. Rod cleans his glasses, stops, and looks ahead of him. A well-dressed man- clad in the latest Armani suit- walks briskly down the street, totally oblivious to the shoddy surroundings. The next thing Rod zooms in on his the lean curve of this man's body, which later leads to noticing the rather feminine walk.
"Oh my God, he's gay!" Rod thinks to himself happily.
As the mysterious hunk of gay man approaches Rod, Rod musters up some courage and says, "I've never seen you around here before."
In a perky, unusually-high-for-a-male-pitched voice, the man responds, "I got off the wrong bus stop so I'm just walking the rest of my way home from working at this investment bank on Avenue A."
Rod's jaw-drops as he soaks in the information. "He's definitely gay, and he's an investment banker!" he thinks to himself. "Now all he needs to tell me is-"
"Today was, like, so rough. I'm exhausted from having a Democratic agenda thrown at me left and right when I'm trying to work," the mysterious dream-man continues.
Rod gasps aloud, then realizes his foolishness. After subtly regaining composure, he introduces himself, "I'm Rod. I live here. I'm also an investment banker, and a Republican."
Shaking hands with Rod, the man replies, "How fabulous! My name is Richard, but everyone just calls me Dicky."
Not even noticing the eerie coincidence that this man's name rhymes with Nicky- a man Rod had once dreamed about before he proclaimed his homosexuality- Rod invites Dicky to dinner in Avenue Q.
"I'm in a rush, but how about this- give me your number and I'll definitely call you," Dicky responds.
As they exchange phone numbers, Rod thinks to himself excitedly, "I think I may finally have found my soulmate!" As Dicky walks off, Rod rushes inside to spill the beans to Nicky, who is happy to see Rod's love life in action again.
---
Trekkie Monster sits at the computer, angrily squinting at the computer screen. He's been, for years, attempting to create a love letter email to finally tell Lucy that it was he who gave her the roses after her final show 2 years ago.
"No! This no sound good!" Trekkie yells, aggravated. He thrusts the keyboard away from reach and sighs heavily with grief.
"How will I ever get Lucy?" he muses.
---
After gushing over Princeton's dinner idea all day, Kate finally releases her bursts of energy when she calls everyone to invite them to a street barbeque dinner for Friday night.
"Wow, Kate- you really want everyone to know," Princeton notices.
"Of course I do! This is exciting news for me," Kate says. Realizing her tactlessness, she corrects herself, "Us. Exciting news for us."
Princeton laughs and says, "Kate…"
The two share in laughter, a few kisses, and then Princeton pours some wine for a toast.
"Here's to us, and letting everyone know I wasn't afraid to propose!" Princeton says proudly.
They both chuckle and drink to their soon-to-be-announced engagement. Now that Kate is more at ease, all she can do is pep up for the dinner party. As for those invited, they know things are great with the celebrated couple but don't suspect anything more than the ostensible motive for a street party.