Thomas the Tank Engine: The Lost Episode
ENGINES GET HIGH
One beautiful morning on the Island of Sodor, Thomas the Tank Engine was rolling
along the line. He loved his branch line and he never forgot the day Sir Topham Hatt after
helping James from an accident. When he went to the station, he saw Sir Topham Hatt walk
out with something in his mouth. It was white and Thomas was curious.
"Excuse me, sir? What's that in your mouth?" asked Thomas.
"Why, Thomas. It's marijuana. It's a magical plant that you can smoke to get cool powers." Sir Topham Hatt replied.
"Hmm...superpowers. Can I smoke it?"
"Sorry, but you're an engine and engines can't smoke." he answered.
"What if I use my funnel?" asked Thomas.
"Hmm...I think that's a good idea." said Sir Topham Hatt. "Sir, I don't think this is a good idea." said Thomas' Driver.
"Shut up, bitch! Of course it is!" retorted Sir Topham Hatt.
And with that, Sir Topham Hatt flipped off the driver. The driver was cross.
"Alright, that's it!" he yelled.
They engaged in a fist fight. A few minutes later, Sir Topham Hatt pulled out his gun and shot him in the head.
"That did it. Works everytime." said Sir Topham Hatt, blowing away the smoke from his gun.
"Now I don't have a driver. Do you have a replacement, sir?" asked Thomas.
"Of course, Thomas! That would be me of course! Now let's get you high!" Sir Topham Hatt replied.
So he adjusted the angle on the joint and after a while, he balanced it.
"Ready, Thomas? Now!"
"Got it, sir!" replied Thomas.
So, he inhaled with his funnel and then blew out steam. Suddenly, he started seeing rainbows.
"Sir! It worked! I'm in a rainbow world, now!" said Thomas happily.
"Well done, Thomas! Now let's go tell the other engines so they can smoke weed too!" So Sir Topham Hatt became Thomas' new driver
and they went back home.
When they went back home at the shed, Thomas told his friends all about this new drug.
"It got me high and I started seeing rainbows everywhere! They were beautiful!" he said.
"Rainbow colors?" asked Percy. "You can see rainbow colors? I like colors! I want to get high like you and Sir Topham Hatt did!"
"I think it's nonsense if you ask me." grunted Gordon.
"I think getting high sounds pretty sweet." said James. "How about we all go for some crack?" asked Henry to the other engines.
So, they went without their annoying drivers to fetch some weed. Sir Topham Hatt helped them smoke and every engine got high.
They cared about weed more than their drivers and firemen. So, every day, they would ditch their drivers and
firemen to go for some more weed. Day after day, they got higher and higher. The drivers
and firemen didn't like this though. So, they had a meeting at midnight while the engines
were asleep.
"I don't like this one bit." said Duck's driver.
"I hate it too. But how can we stop the engines from smoking?" said Gordon's fireman.
"Sir Topham Hatt's gone mad. He's even shot Thomas' driver while his fireman was on break. Is there any way to stop them?" asked
James' driver.
"I know!" said Toby's fireman. "I have a plan. A really good plan."
So they discussed his plan all night.
Next morning, Sir Topham Hatt couldn't get the engines to awaken after staying up for so long to fetch stocks for marijuana. Percy was
the only one awake. So he took him out to fetch some more. Along the way, Percy got thirsty. So they stopped at a water tower to have
a drink. But when they continued their trip, Percy began to feel dizzy and started rocking.
"Percy! What's wrong?" asked Sir Topham Hatt. "Nothing's the matter, sir." said Percy in a drunk voice.
Suddenly, Percy confronted a junction and went on the left track.
"No, Percy! The station's right! The station's right!"
"I went right." said Percy. "No, that's a dead end! Percy what are you doing? STOP!" yelled Sir Topham Hatt. Percy wasn't stopping.
"FASTER! ME LIKE FAST!" yelled Percy. So, he went at full speed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What are you doing? Stop now!"
But it was too late. Percy crashed into a big crate of coal.
Coal and ashes all over him. He finally snapped out of it. "Dude, where am I?" he asked.
"You're stuck in a crate of coal, you stupid little engine! How did you get sowasted all of a sudden, anyway?"
"I don't know." replied Percy. "But my water tasted funny."
"Hmm...let me check your tank." So he did. Inside, he saw a strange, brown liquid.
"Budweiser! Someone put budweiser in the water tower!"
"And that would be us of course!"
Sir Topham Hatt looked behind Percy and there he saw the drivers and firemen.
"We're tired of our engines smoking your weed!" said James' driver. "And now it's over!" said Gordon's fireman.
"Who's idea was this?" "Mine!" said Toby's fireman. So, Sir Topham Hatt pulled out his gun..
"You're fired!" he said as he shot the fireman straight in the face. "Stop killing our co-workers!" said Henry's driver.
"Hmm...I have an idea!" said Sir Topham Hatt. "Whydon't you try taking at least one puff?" The drivers and firemen agreed and Sir
Topham Hatt got them some weed. They smoked it. Suddenly, they started getting high.
"Man, this is awesome!" said Gordon's driver. And so they compromised. After they got Percy out, they all decided to smoke pounds
and pounds of weed for the rest of the day. And whenever a police officer came to confiscate the pot, them and the engines always
flipped them off and fled. The engine could not be anymore happier in their entire lives..
THE END