I Left the Womb for This

Part 5

Kimi walked for a long time that morning, not wanting to be anywhere in particular. She stopped for a while at the empty high school, wishing as the tears rolled down her cheeks that she could be back there, happy, with Tommy and her friends. Everything so was easy in high school, there was no sadness, there were no abrupt changes. Everyone was happy and normal and she and Tommy were still together.

As much as Tommy had hurt her last night and this morning, and indeed for the last couple of weeks as their relationship fell apart, she still wished they were together. She kept thinking if only she'd tried a bit harder, been a bit more attentive maybe they could've worked it out. She even considered briefly going back there and begging him to take her back, but thankfully her sane brain kicked in before she could embarrass herself. It was over, she kept telling herself over and over again, he's never gonna take you back.

She started blaming herself as she pounded the pavement, ignoring everything that happened around her. Then she started blaming him, growing angry and resentful and balling her fists and wanting to scream. Eventually she sat down under a shady tree in a park and cried until her lungs hurt and her eyes burned. She hated this life, the real world, the world outside everything she found comforting and bearable. If this is what life has to offer she wished she'd never grown up.

She didn't want to go home, have to face her mom and Chuckie and their inevitable questions and sympathy. But she didn't want to stay here, alone, afraid and crying in this park surrounded by onlookers. She decided on going home, trudging slowly the familiar path. Her mind raced with thoughts, trying desperately to make sense of this confusing day, trying to comprehend and understand what had gone so wrong. Her heart pounded in her throat and she felt a gaping hole in her stomach that she was sure was never going to go away. She couldn't believe one person could cry so much and thought wildly that she might shrivel up from loosing too much water.

When she reached the house she met Chuckie at the door. He looked almost as sad as she did but she couldn't spare a feeling for him.

"Kimi?" He said, staring dazedly at her, "What's the matter?"

"I d-don't wanna talk about it Chuckie," She managed to croak out, her throat was so sore from crying.

She tried to get past him but he wouldn't let her.

"Come on Kimi; look at you, what happened, was it Tommy?" Chuckie said holding her shoulders and trying to get her to look at him.

At the mention of Tommy's name fresh tears welled up and she collapsed onto Chuckie's shoulder. He held her fast and stroked her head while she sobbed into his shirt.

"I j-just d-don't know w-what happened." She wailed as Chuckie lead her up the stairs to her room.

Chuckie seemed unable to speak, his jaw clenched tight. Thankfully Kira chose that moment to poke her head concernedly through the door.

"I heard someone crying…" She trailed off, seeing Kimi's hunched form, "Kimi sweetie what's the matter?"

Taking his leave Chuckie left mother and daughter, muttering something about going to Phil's house. Kimi sobbed now into her mothers shoulder, feeling for the first time that day, as her mother cooed into her ear, that she might be able to get past this. Just maybe.

Phil was getting fed up. Lil had not stopped cooing over him and Kathleen the whole morning. If he heard the words 'so cute' one more time he was going to be sick. She kept drilling into his brain how he needed to concentrate hard while driving. Well how was he supposed to concentrate while she was waffling in his ear the whole time? So he had kissed Kathleen… a few times last night. What was so damn exciting about that, that Lil had to go completely mental over it? Wasn't she the one who set them up in the first place, what was she expecting for him to just sit there and hold her hand? They weren't in junior high anymore; they weren't even in high school anymore. He was a man now; he could kiss whoever he pleased.

"I just can't get over how cute you two were!" Lil squealed from somewhere in her uninterrupted commentary about the whole party last night, "I don't think Chuckie got so lucky, as if he could ever hook up with anyone, girls don't like angry boys you know Phil, you better keep that in mind if you're gonna get serious with Kathleen."

Phil had had enough. He slammed on the breaks almost throwing Lil completely from her seat. She squealed but, thankfully remained quiet afterwards.

"Would you shut it?" Phil said, trying to keep the anger from his voice, "I was at the party last night Lil, I know just as well as you do what happened."

Lil stared at him, shocked, before pointing in the rear view mirror, which showed at least five cars stopped behind them in the busy main street, some beeping their horns loudly, some even making rude gestures out of their windows.

"Sorry," Phil said starting the car again, "you were babbling and it was distracting me."

Lil still didn't speak, a sign of just how put out she was, having been thrown almost through the windscreen. The car filled with a thick silence and Phil began feeling guilty. He hadn't meant to loose his temper, he knew how much Lil loved to talk, and he was just angry and maybe a little embarrassed that she'd fly completely off the handle about him and Kathleen. Just because they kissed didn't mean they were a thing. I didn't mean anything except that they'd kissed.

"Can you take us home Phil," Lil said at length, a bit quieter than she normally would have, "I need to get ready for work."

Phil only nodded in reply, the guilt once again welling up in his chest. Thankfully by the time they got home Lil had recovered from her shock and had almost started waffling about Tommy's party last night. Phil only had to shoot her a withering glare before she got the point this time.

"Oh alright, I have to have a shower anyway, I can tell Anthony all about it when I get to work…" She continued talking to herself all the way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"Hey Philly," Mrs. Deville appeared from somewhere in the kitchen, wiping her elbows with a dirty rag, "Was just fixing the plumbing in that damn sink again. Heard you've got a little girlfriend now hey?"

"Mom, I do not have a girlfriend, I can't believe Lil!" Phil blushed noticeably and made to storm up the stairs

"Ah there's no need to be embarrassed Philly," She said grabbing him hard and ruffling his hair, "by the way Chuckie's waiting for you upstairs, he looked a bit down, Chas has been worrying about him a lot lately."

"Yeah he's just going through a phase," Phil said rolling his eyes and trudging up the stairs.

It wasn't that he didn't like Chuckie. They were best friends, maybe not as best as Chuckie and Tommy, but still pretty good friends. Ever since Chuckie's abrupt change however Phil had, not stopped liking him, just started liking him less. He was moody, quick to anger and way too eager to prove himself. Like he was trying to make up for all the dorky stupid things he did when he was a kid. It was hard to hold a conversation with him without either feeling sorry for him or wanting to punch him in the nose. Everyone agreed, secretly behind his back, that the old Chuckie was way better than the new one.

"Hey Chuck," Phil said walking into his room, taking another controller and entering the game Chuckie was playing. They played in silence for a while before Phil's character beheaded Chuckie's and the screen displayed the phrase 'Player two wins.'

"Hey Phil," Chuckie began at length, while they started a new game, "Have you talked to Tommy today?"

"Nah man why?"

"I dunno he seems kinda distant don't you reckon?"

"I guess so,"

"He broke up with my sister today."

"Really?" Phil was already getting fed up with this conversation. He knew any minuet it would turn into some depressing tirade about how Chuckie misses Tommy and blah blah, who cares.

"Yeah."

They lapsed into silence once more and Phil beat Chuckie two more times. He started feeling extremely uncomfortable, thankful for the distraction that was Lil shouting she was leaving. Chuckie obviously didn't feel as uncomfortable. He sat with complete ease; maybe he was pondering something depressing or angry, or some boring way to waste Phil's day.

"Hey Phil," Chuckie started again and Phil cringed inwardly. "I saw you hooking up with that Kathleen chick last night."

"Yeah I heard you bombed out pretty bad with that other chick."

"How do you do it man?" Chuckie dropped his controller and stared at the floor. 'Here we go' thought Phil, "I mean you don't even need to try and this girl's all over you. I can't seem to hook up no matter how hard I try."

"Maybe you should stop trying so hard?" Phil ventured, trying to stop himself from saying all the things that were really on the tip of his tongue

"I've tried that as well," Chuckie sighed, "That just lessens my chances."

They lapsed into another uncomfortable silence. Phil fidgeted, hoping, praying for a distraction. And just as Chuckie opened his mouth to speak the best distraction Phil could've hoped for walked through the door.

"Kathleen!" He practically shouted at her as he sprung from the bed. She looked taken aback, but still happy.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" She asked, peering over Phil's shoulder at Chuckie, who stared morosely back.

"No, not at all, Chuckie was just leaving weren't you man?" Phil motioned violently at the door with his head, praying Chuckie would just leave without a word.

"Yeah, good seeing ya," He said to Kathleen who nodded silently back. He walked out of the room, head down and shoulders hunched.

"What's up with him?" Kathleen said as soon as she was sure he was out of ears shot.

"Don't ask," Phil replied rolling his eyes again.

"Angelica could you be a sweetie and buy some things for me from the corner shop?" Angelica looked up from her place on the couch, Didi with her graying hair was standing in the doorway from the kitchen to the living room, yellow washing gloves on and a hastily written list in her hand.

"Sure," Angelica said, standing up and spreading crumbs over the freshly vacuumed floor. She looked down at her mess and felt only slightly guilty. She supposed she could make it up by dragging her ass down to the corner store in the middle of her favorite midday program.

"Just a few things we need for dinner tonight," Didi explained unnecessarily.

Angelica smiled and took the list. She had always been jealous of this side of the Pickle family. She even wished sometimes, in her later teen years, that she'd been born into this family rather than her own. Didi was such the typical stay at home and look after the kids mom. She cooked dinner every night and they all ate together like a postcard family. It all sounded very corny but Angelica thought maybe if her family had only done that more often they might still be a family.

Dinner at her dad's house was a sad affair. Mostly it was just her, alone, with a pizza or microwave dinners. When her father decided to grace her with his presence the food was never any better. And on the most embarrassing occasions he would bring some new girlfriend round for dinner and Angelica would be expected to cook for them. It wasn't much better when her parents were still together. Granted she never had to eat TV dinners, but the company wasn't much better. Whenever her parents tried to be civil and eat as a family it was usually interrupted by that god forsaken phone of her mothers, or otherwise chilly remarks between adults which was the very first signal of the imminent end.

As Angelica walked she found herself inadvertently stomping her feet, her anger rising quickly. As much as she tried she couldn't find peace with her parents divorce. She felt robbed. Robbed of her childhood, robbed of her adolescence and now starting to feel robbed of her prime. It was unfair she had to feel so angry and put out about the affairs of two grown adults like her parents. If her mother wanted to go and have sex with Jonathon then good for her, why did Angelica have to suffer for it? She wished at times like these she could just turn off all her emotions and just get over it.

But she couldn't, so she just settled for stomping. Damn her mother, that inattentive bitch. Damn her father, that spineless worm. Damn Didi and Dru, the picture perfect family. Damn therapy and drugs and boys and work. Damn it all.

"What're you stomping about?"

Angelica practically jumped at Chuckie's voice. She hadn't realized she'd reached the corner store already, and it seemed Chuckie wasn't the only one who'd realized her stomping. A group of misfit looking kids were chuckling at her from over by the dumpster. Chuckie was sitting on the railing which went up the wheelchair access, his fiery hair obscuring half his face.

"Mind your own business Finster," Angelica snapped, her anger still bubbling on the surface.

"Geez someone's got PMS." He mumbled, glancing over his shoulder at the group of kids, who had settled on point menacingly at Chuckie.

"What're you doing here anyway?" Angelica said, trying to calm herself down.

"Applying for a job, what'd you think?" Angelica rolled her eyes at Chuckie's sarcasm, "It's all anyone thinks I can do anyway."

Angelica was taken aback somewhat by Chuckie's depressing manner. What a moody kid. One minuet he's exploding with rage, the next he's totally deflated.

"There's no shame in working in retail," Angelica said in a would be chirpy voice, she only managed to sound sarcastic, "Back home I work at this crappy convenience store while I'm at college."

"Whoopdy doo," Chuckie mumbled, once again glaring over his shoulder at the group of kids.

"Do you know those people?" Angelica said, trying to keep the conversation going. She wasn't too keen on seeing Chuckie's attempted suicide outside the Seven Eleven.

"No," Chuckie replied angrily, "They keep calling me Sid Vicious and trying to spit on me though."

Angelica sighed. For the first time she actually felt genuinely sorry for Chuckie.

"Do you want me to go talk to them?" She asked, trying to sound as kind as she could

"I don't need you to stand up for me." He said frowning.

"Well at least come and help me get this stuff." She replied waving Didi's list in his face.

Chuckie grudgingly obliged, sliding off the railing and trudging in after her.

"I don't know what you're always so angry about Finster. It's not like life's been very hard to you, you know." Angelica said while deciding on which can of corn looked less suspicious.

"Right, this coming from princess Angelica." Chuckie huffed, "Just pick one, they're all the same!"

"Calm down. You know it's not like that anymore anyway. I don't even talk to my mom and it's not like my dad's particularly successful. He's just a pathetic divorcee."

"My dad used to be a pathetic divorcee." Chuckie growled

"I thought your mom died."

"Same thing."

"What I'm trying to say is, you've got nothing to be so upset about." Angelica said knowingly, moving onto canned asparagus.

"Apart from the fact that all my friends hate me." Chuckie regarded the asparagus with distaste, "Who eats this stuff anyway?"

"I don't know." Angelica said, moving on to the next item on the list and forgetting the asparagus, "And maybe you're friends wouldn't hate you so much if you weren't such an asshole."

"That's what all the girls say."

"Maybe because it's true. You've changed too much Finster. Whatever happened to the happy medium?"

"Guess it died with the happy family." He grinned at her slyly and she couldn't help but smile.

"Anyway," He continued, surveying Angelicas un-brushed hair and ripped jeans, "Who're you to be talking about the happy medium? Last time I saw you, you wanted to be Brittany Spears, and now what look are you going for? Heroine chic?"

"Ha ha," Angelica replied sarcastically, making her way toward the counter, "you're not looking much better you know, when was the last time you even washed your hair?"

"Who's counting?"

"What I'm trying to say," She continued with a roll of her eyes, "Is that you used to be this sweet little nerd and now you're putting on this tough guy act. For those of us who've had to put up with you for your whole life, it's just not working. You're not fooling anyone."

Chuckie didn't reply immediately, but considered what she'd said, a slight frown marring his features.

"Maybe," He said at length after Angelica had paid for their goods and they were walking through the derelict car park, "Maybe I got just a bit sick of being a 'sweet little nerd.' Maybe I just got fed up with everyone trying to protect me and… and feeling sorry for me. Maybe I just got sick of being myself."

"Well, you had friends who liked you for being yourself. You can't just stop being that person and expect them to still like whoever comes out of that weird brain of yours." Angelica explained patiently, "They're patient people, you're friends, but they've got their limits."

"Well I guess they can all just go to hell then." Chuckie said

"Guess so," Angelica said, trailing off.

They walked on in silence for a while, both completely lost in their thoughts. When they reached the Pickles house they both stopped abruptly and looked at each other uncomfortably.

"Wanna come in?" Angelica said, looking away from him

"No it's okay."

"Come in." She said more forcefully

"It's fine." He replied turning away, "I don't really feel like putting up with Tommy at the moment, he just broke up with Kimi."

"Suit yourself." Angelica said shrugging and wandering up the path.

Chuckie sighed noticeably and continued meandering down the street, lost once again in his thoughts.

A/N: wow two chapters in two days, aren't you guys lucky. Anyway getting on with the story a bit now, I might even be able to get into some of the more romantic smooshy bits soon! And we all know how much everyone loves romantic smoosh! Thanks again for the reviews. Hope you like.