"Salvation does not want you, evolution does not care." - 5th Understanding, 7th Book of Sorrow
When death no longer stood impatiently over the horizon, the movement of the sun and the stars seemed so insignificant.
Time and Space danced their endless tango and so too the time since her last meeting with Valthyx had stretched and thinned. Ysolde often caught herself settling into the grip of comfortable memories she'd formed with the Eliksni, but day dreams do nothing to overwrite reality. She reminded herself of her strength and pushed on.
Ceres would occasionally attempt to broach the subject of some recording or other she had secretly taken, but Ysolde always met the topic with indifference.
The silver lining was that without the distraction, Ysolde's motivation to find the missing was stoked anew. She filled her days by nosing through the last city's archives. In fact, she had even enjoyed her time in the stale, stuffy environment - an odd sensation since she'd never considered herself the 'bookish' type - always struggling to read at a useful pace and often finding herself looping the same line of text again and again.
Among the endless pages, she sought to uncover patterns of the underground groups in the tower, their past, their motivations, their relationships. Regrettably, she'd had little luck in this pursuit.
Yesterday, she enacted the necessary protocol to schedule a meeting with Danu: leaving a feather tied to a rope in the market as the indicator. Today they would meet.
Her thoughts thoroughly distracted her as she entered the mouth of the alleyway. When her mind eventually rejoined the rest of the world, her breath caught. Before her stood Danu, though the top left quarter of his face had been severely damaged. Jagged edges of metal and frayed internal wires dangled above an eye.
Noticing her attention, he offered her a pathetic smile, "What's wrong princess? Not as handsome as you remember?"
He chuckled but it sounded forced. The warm glow of his eyes matched the flickering electricity from the damaged electronics, both appearing brighter and brighter the further they moved from the light of the markets and into the dark of the alleyways. Eventually they settled into the familiar meeting room, though now there was a small scattering of tools, bolts, nuts, and debris littering the floor.
He had been fixing himself...
She shuffle through her memories of their last meeting until she came to a slow, uncomfortable realization. Once the strange ghost had dismissed her, she and Danu got up to leave towards the alleys. However, Danu was ordered to stop by the ghost, "Noooo Danu. You stay."
What had occurred after that-?
"Danu," she parsed her words as carefully and as tenderly as possible, "did they..."
In their written communications, they had often referred to the organization Danu served as they.
Doubt swept by Ysolde like a breeze - there was no way they did this to him. Why would he want to be in an organization like that? He would've left immediately. She was sure.
The Exo appeared to avoid eye contact, straining to conceal the pitiful expression forming on his face. He extended his fingers to brush the length of a screwdriver handle. "Live and learn, ya' know? But if you have time, I wouldn't mind some help getting this last plate aligned just right."
"Live and lear-" Ysolde scoffed with utter disbelief but words would do nothing.
The group Danu belonged to had wrecked him. He was still with them. She did not fully understand. Yet, if she tried explaining her own lingering hurt, which now seemed so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, would he understand? Truth be told, they didn't need to understand fully. In that moment, they both felt pain. In that moment, they simply needed to feel that pain.
In one fluid motion and she approached and wrapped her arms around the wilting Exo. He did the same. For a long moment they sat and just felt pain together in silence.
The Golden Age scholars who coveted immortality clearly gave no consideration to the continued existence of pain.
"And the tyrant looked upon his tyranny, and wept." - Rasputin
The knot in Valthyx's stomach remained. He knew deep down, but never acknowledged his mistake that led to her continued absence. Instead, he dutifully proceeded to their meeting place, gathered tinder for the fire, and waited - hopeful his little guardian would pass through the doorway. Ceres would trail about and berate him for how he did not bother to wash the blood that caked his skin and garments or complain that he did not collect sufficient kindling. He would feign a lunge at her or promise to feed her to the servitors, and she would poorly conceal her delight in their play of animosity.
Then Ysolde would smile and Valthyx would feel that euphoric paralysis.
His kind valued strength above all and he was no different. Then why did he revel in those moments of incapacity? Was it simply fascination with a feeling so new - so foreign? Perhaps it was awe at the hidden strength she possessed - her ability to utterly destroy him with a glance. What strange power.
Why, in that last moment, would he not allow her to call him friend?
It was true that they had not fought side-by-side as friends would in the traditional Eliksni sense, but then what word would properly describe their association?
Disgusted at his gratuitous indulgence of feelings, he launched a log across the room. Staring both at and past the splintered wood now protruding from the wall, he wondered how he could come to grips with his bullheaded mistake.
"I tire," a familiar Eliskni voice yawned. The form of Radax revealed itself, two arms crossing, "why does the human not return? At this rate, we will both lose. How can I take, if you do not have?"
Though the presence of his friend should have been a surprise, Valthyx felt too numb to react properly.
"I do not know," Valthyx lied, though his anesthetized tone was convincing.
"I thought maybe you tell her to stay away so I could not have, but then why would you still come?", Radax concluded.
Pity slowly grew in Radax at the sight of the younger Eliksni. Their time together had earned Radax the right to view this bit of weakness, but it was his duty to not allow any others to bear witness. Valthyx, though having recently relinquished his title, was still a warrior. As bizarre as this entire situation was, Radax's allegiance dictated he help for the time being. Radax was nothing if not loyal.
"We know the one to ask, friend. We know they will find her, declaw her, and give her to you to keep," Radax stated.
It was curious how Radax was able to send such a bitter suggestion into existence so gently.
"-at least until I get to her of course," he finished with a lighthearted twitch of his mandibles in inflation of his chest.
"Each Guardian wants something: greater speed, a rare weapon, a secret. Learn what it is. Use it." - Lysander
Parting from the comfort of their hold, neither Danu nor Ysolde could avoid the inevitable awkwardness that followed. They avoided eye contact in an attempt to alleviate the shame. Sharing their hurt in an embrace was such a simple thing, but oh how they had both desperately needed it.
Ysolde chipped away at the unease by reaching for the metal face plate Danu mentioned earlier. He remained silent while she shuffled about for the appropriate screws and screwdriver head. As she went to position the plate, he reached up and wrapped a cold hand around her wrist to stop the motion.
"Look, I know you want to meet The Hound and all but-", he grated his jaw as if urging himself to continue, "but you're a nice girl and I really don't think you should be getting caught up in all this. You can still go and forget - it's not too late for you."
The insinuation that it was too late for him went unsaid.
"You know I can't, Danu," Ysolde muttered, stifling the rising guilt she felt upon dismissing his words of caution, "I need to find them."
Upon seeing the consequences up close, she more clearly understood that any warnings he bestowed upon her were accompanied by great risk to himself. She understood, and she wished he would stop.
He waited, as if the silence could convince her to reconsider, and then sighed.
"I 'spose I'd be a hypocrite to push too hard on this front," he released her wrist. After a moment, she continued her work and he continued to speak, "only difference is I was a bastard who sorta deserved it all. You, on the other hand, well - you don't seem the type, so I wanna make sure you-"
"I know," Ysolde reassured, "the fact that they've been missing for so long really emphasizes that it can't be anything good." She aligned one final screw, "I need you to know that I really appreciate your advice and everything you've done for me, but this is something I will move forward with, with or without your help."
"Well fuck," Danu spat as Ysolde backed away to admire her work.
"Not bad, not bad," she congratulated herself, reaching around for the handheld mirror she spotted earlier.
"An improvement really," Ceres added in.
When he was alone, Danu had attempted to reorient the plate for what felt like an eternity. It had never been right - some piece had always been misaligned or simply felt wrong.
Mustering courage, Danu turned his gaze upward and met his own eyes staring back in the mirror. What a sorry sack of shit you are Danu, he wanted to say.
"You owe me a date when this is all over and done with," he said instead, "honestly I don't know how you could say no to a face like this."
Energy jolted through Ysolde's body and excitement took residence in her eyes, "so you'll help me?"
Still locking eyes with the man in the mirror, Danu grunted and gave a slow nod of his head. Immediately, Ysolde dropped the mirror and leapt in for a hug.
"Hey, hey, hey, woah there. Careful, you break that and, BOOM, bad luck. Not what we need right now if this is going to work," he fought to slow his breathing, "you know we will need to lock Ceres up in order for me to take you to her, right? You up for that you little shiny butthead?" he nodded toward Ceres.
"Remember Ceres, if you don't feel comfortable, we will find another way," Ysolde assured.
Ceres required no time to deliberate. "I trust you, Ysolde. There hasn't been a single situation we couldn't survive yet - or, well, if there had been I suppose I wouldn't be here explaining this so I guess that's a given... You don't happen to have a more comfortable cage though, do you Danu? With a little ghost spa inside? Yes? No? Is that a no? Ok, that face is giving me a no."