"One day you will wake up and all of a sudden the weight of the last few weeks, months or even years will be lifted off your shoulders. You can't control when that day comes, all you can do is stay strong and trust that it is coming."
"Often when I'm alone I think of everything that happened to me over the years. Good and bad. And before Robert came into my life there were more bad than good days. I would put my happy face on and act like I was happy but deep down I was a mess. No one could read me, no one could see that I wasn't okay. Even after therapy I wasn't okay. Everyone had someone and I was alone. Alone with my thoughts in the apartment that was even more depressive than I was. So I moved to a new one. Started from the scratch and never looked back. I focused on work and my friends. That's how I became captain. One good thing. " Andy started her speech she needed to give to her therapist and Robert.
It was the session where the therapist required Robert's presence. Andy spent weeks with the therapist alone and it was giving the results but at home Andy was more frustrated and she was finding herself arguing with Robert more often than she wanted. But he wasn't the guy who would give up on anyone, especially someone he loves so much. He knew she was just wanted to get the anger out of her so he let her do her thing.
"And then Robert came to the station and my life changed completely. Another good thing happened." She looked at Robert, took his hand in hers and smiled lightly. "I didn't want to admit to anyone but I liked him. The first day he joined and introduced himself to all of us. His deep voice, his figure, his serious look... Everything was just wow. I was in awe. I still am. I still find myself looking at him and wonder how he is really mine." As she got closer to the part about Robert she started squeezing his hand tighter. With other hand she brushed her tears from her cheeks and took the paper back to her hand to continue partially looking at the paper, partially looking at Robert.
Robert wanted to say something but the therapist didn't let him. Andy wasn't finished and he just wanted to hug her and never let her go. He hated seeing her cry.
"We started living our dream. It's was forever for me since the first moment we talked alone, I knew I wanted him. We can always control what is going to happen. The pregnancy was a big surprise. Not because I didn't want kids with him, I wanted to give him babies. It was bad timing but I made it right and I loved that baby more than anything. I knew I was stubborn as hell and he knew I would want to work until I can. I don't blame you for anything, Robert. I don't even blame myself, anymore. Once again I needed to let go and I did. For you, for me, for the baby I lost and the baby we lost."
At this point Robert didn't even realize the tears were streaming down his cheeks. He deeply had the urge to hug Andy and he was waiting for her to finish her speech.
"I won't finish this speech by saying I'm sorry and I love you because you know all of that." Andy lightly smiled with her eyes full of tears, took his other hand in hers, her hands were tiny comparing to his and said last sentence she wanted to say.
"You are my home, the love of my life, my rock, my other half and I can't live without you."
Robert finally got to hug her. Andy buried her face into the crock of his neck and sobbed for some time. He kept caressing her back and just hold her. After they separated Robert placed both of his hands on her cheeks and pulled her for a kiss. After kissing her lips, he kissed each cheek and the top of her nose.
"Okay, my turn." He needed to say a few things too. "I didn't know you need to give a speech too." Andy was confused. "I don't and I won't. It's just a few things since you said it all." He chuckled.
"It's always been forever for me too. Since the day I saw you in the barn. When our eyes met while I was introducing myself and it took me a second not to forget what I wanted to say. I know we can get trough anything as long as we are together. I'm so lucky to have you." He finished and kissed her again.
"I'm the luckiest to have you." Robert brushed her tears and hugged her with one arm kissing the top of her head.
Andy officially finished her therapy sessions and she got cleared to go back to work. Robert took leave after the accident and planned to go back to work when she get cleared.
And tomorrow is the day. Battalion chief and captain back at their positions. It was bittersweet feeling but they felt lighter. Some of the burden that they had was gone. The arguing and sadness was replaced with more laughter and joy. This time Andy wasn't faking it. She couldn't since Robert was reading her like a book.
"I'm happy." Andy stated looking herself in the mirror. "You are?" Robert said looking at her from the other side of the room. "Yes. The weight of the guilt is gone. I didn't have nightmares for days. So yes, I am."
"I'm happy to hear that." Robert said sneaking behind her and hugging her with one arm placing a kiss on her neck.
They stayed for a few seconds observing themselves in the mirror. "Let's go, we are going to be late for our first day back!" Andy said with a giggle.
"Welcome back, captain!" was echoing trough the station and the team prepared a breakfast for everyone so they can all eat before shift starts.
Laughter and jokes filled the beanery. Travis mostly spoke about funny calls they had during Andy's leave and Vic was constantly hugging her thankful she was back because they all missed her so much. Andy distanced from everyone during the time of mourning, occasionally she would exchange a few texts with Vic but she didn't want to see anyone. And Vic understood her and gave her space.
"Since you are back, we are in desperate need for a night out. Girls night." Vic stated after the breakfast was done.
"Yeah, we could make that happen." Andy said and Robert could help himself but hear what they were talking about. A smile appeared on his face hearing Andy's response.
"Line up in 5 minutes, nineteen!" Andy shouted. "It's good to have you back! I missed that yelling at the beginning of the shift." Travis said tapping Andy on her shoulder.
"So see you at 8. Our usual spot?" Vic asked as she was passing Andy's office with Maya after long but not too bas shift.
"Yes! Sounds good!" Andy said excited.
"I'm so tired!" Andy said to Robert as he came down to her office. "Well it was your first day back. Don't be too harsh on yourself." He kissed her. "Is it okay if I go out tonight?" Andy asked placing her hands on his waist. "Of course it is. Don't ask me that. You need to go and have fun and be with your friends, take a break from me..." He said with a grin. "Very funny. I don't need a break from you and you know that." She placed her hands on his neck and pulled him for a kiss.
"I'll make sure to be home before you go out to see what you are wearing..." Robert said with a grin and left to his office.
Some days, as today, Andy wished he wasn't working so they can cuddle together in the bed and sleep but Robert was usually in the office during the day.
Andy started to get ready early. After a good sleep and lunch she was more and more excited for tonight. It was their usual place so she know there will be dancing aside from drinking. The bar will always hold a special place in Andy's heart since it was a place where Robert and her met and danced together. It was THAT bar.
"Someone started to get read early..." Robert said entering the house, hearing a music in the background. "Hi!" Andy came almost running. "How was your day?" She asked seeing him not being in a mood. "We had a fire. A man lost his wife. We couldn't save her..." Robert said sitting on the bar stool.
"Want some wine?" Andy offered a glass. "Sure." She gave him a glass and sat next to him. "Wanna talk about it?" Andy asked with putting her hand over his and giving it a light squeeze. "Not much to talk about it, really. We've been called in too late and all I was thinking about was you and how this man lost his wife and..." But before he could finish Andy stood up and hugged him. " I'm not going anywhere..." She whispered and broke the hug so she could cup his face with her hands and kiss him.
Robert continued to kiss her and soon enough started placing kissed down her neck and on the collar bone. Andy left a few moans. "If you want me to stop, I will." Robert whispered. " Please don't..." She answered whispering. "Take me to the bedroom..." Andy said leaving wet kisses below his ear. Robert lifted her and took her up. He sat on the bed with Andy sitting in his lap. "You okay?" He asked. "Mhm." Andy answered.
She took of his shirt and ran her hands over his chests leaving a few kisses in the process. Robert placed his hands under her shirt and pulled her even closer to him. He took of her shirt as well and unhook her bra, throwing everything on the floor. Andy then stood up in front of him to took off the rest of her clothes. Robert started to draw the line down her waist line what made her get chills. "I'll do it." He said and pulled her between his legs, then started to leave wet kisses down her stomach which made her getting ready for him even faster. They didn't have sex in months so they wanted each other more than ever. Robert took off her panties leaving her standing naked in front of him. "God you are so sexy." Robert said looking at her. He then left a kiss on her c-section scar but Andy lifted his head a kissed him. "Sorry." Robert apologized. "Nothing to be sorry about I just wanted to kiss you. It's been too long without a kiss on my lips." She said with a smile. Robert climbed onto the bed, getting rid of his pants and Andy followed.
Slowly starting to feel his erection she adjusted herself. "Now it's not the time to be gentle." She said and with that Robert started to make love to her. With every thrust the moans were louder. With Andy reaching her orgasm Robert turned her to lay on bed and now he was on top. Placing a hand on her lower back he again started not he be gentle which Andy enjoyed. "Come with me..." He whispered on her ear while sucking it. It wasn't too long until they both reached their orgasms. After a few minutes Robert lay next to her, taking her hand in his and interlacing their fingers he placed a kiss on her hand.
"You are amazing, you know that?" Robert said caressing her hand with his thumb. "I've heard it a few times, yes." She smiled.
"Should I cancel my night out?" Andy asked turning on a side to face him. "Not a chance. You'll go out and I'm going to Ripley's place while you have fun." He kissed her forehead. "Okay, then I have to get ready." Andy said leaving the bed. "I'm just hoping you are not wearing my dress." Robert said with a smirk. "Definitely not. There is a reason why it's called your dress but we do go out in our bar." She winked and went to shower.
"We almost thought you weren't coming." Maya claimed as Andy sat in the middle of them. "You thought right but I came." Andy winked. "So give me some tequila so this night can start!" Andy shouted. "Attagirl!" Vic shouted
They took a few shots very fast so the alcohol could start working and they could go and dance.
"Before we go dance I just wanted to say I'm sorry I disappeared. I just didn't want anyone near me. Even Robert was pushed away from time to time but thanks to his stubbornness I couldn't push him hard enough." Andy said holding a hand of each of her friend.
They both hugged her and said that it's okay. They've been there for her the first time when she needed them the most, now she had Robert. And he needed to be the one there for her, it was his son too. Andy was lucky enough to have the friends who understand her and giving her space when she needs it but also they are always there if she needs a shoulder to cry on.
The night was amazing. The trio had so much fun dancing, drinking and not thinking of anything. Sitting to take a break around 11pm and checking their phones, Vic and Andy had some messages from their boys.
"Aww they miss us." Vic said. "We went out to not be with them but here they are sending messages." Andy laughed.
"Too much beer, me think!" Vic said waving with her phone. "Should we say to them to come?" Vic asked. "Where is Maya?" Andy asked looking around.
"There she was." Vic said looking at Maya talking to a girl by the bar. "She was the one saying no lovers tonight and there she was..." Andy pointed a finger towards Maya.
"I'll text Robert to come, it's not fair." Andy said and Vic agreed.
After 15 minutes the boys came and find their girls sitting by the table already ordered their drinks.
"Hi!" Robert said sitting next to Andy. "Hi to you too!" Andy answered. They shared a passionate kiss. "You begged me to go out just for you to send me messages that you missed me." Andy teased him.
"I can't help it. I did miss you. After a few beers we started talking how lucky we are and one thing led to another and I needed to sent a message." Robert acted shy. "A message. I got 5." Andy laughed. "As I said I couldn't help myself." Robert started leaving wet kisses down her neck. "Robert, stop it! We are in public!"
"So what. Who cares!" They kissed a few more times until Vic and Lucas said to them to find a room. They were so happy seeing Andy and Robert being happy again. Robert hugged Andy with one hand and they continued drinking and joking.
They didn't dance this time. It was that kind of night and their dance would be very much different from the first one when they danced.
"Let's go home!" Robert said extending his hand to help Andy get up. "Let's go dunk head." Robert teased.
"So... I was thinking..." Andy started as they entered the house. "We sacrificed a lot during therapy and I was all over the place but I wanted to give you something... As a thank you."
"You know you didn't have to..." Robert said taking a little box in his hand. "Open it."
So he did. It was a projective photo necklace. "It's not any kind of pendant. Look into it." Andy said proudly. Although a little bit confused Robert gave in. "Wow, Andy. I love it." His eyes immediately got teary. "I knew you would."
Robert hugged her. Inside the pendant was the last sonogram pic of their son. She knew she wanted to do something special for him and this was an amazing idea.
"I love you!" Robert said between kisses. "Good. I love you too!" Andy answered wrapping her arms around his waist. They stayed in that position for a few minutes.
"When we start again..." She broke the hug starting to draw the circles on his chests trying not to look him in the eyes. "And we will... soon... I really want to. So I'm telling you when it happens I will do things differently. I promise."
"Andy..." he lifted her chin. "When we are ready it will happen and this time I'll watch you as a hawk. I promise you that." Robert said kissing the top of her nose. "Deal!" She hugged him again.
"Let's go to sleep..."
The life was treating them well in the following months. Every free moment they spent together doing fun things and exploring around. Vic and Lucas got engaged with the help of Robert. Andy didn't know it was coming because she would probably blurted out everything to Vic, so Robert kept her in the dark about all the plans. She only knew about the ring since she helped buying it. The whole station celebrated the day after and Robert could see Andy was happy for them but something was telling him she was definitely imagining getting engaged now that she saw them.
One day while they were walking near the beach they witnessed a proposal of some random couple in a beach restaurant. Seeing Andy getting teary watching the proposal Robert couldn't help but wonder if she maybe changed her mind. When they were still friends she told him she doesn't want to get married. It's just wasn't for her and she doesn't need a paper to prove her love to someone.
If you look it from Robert's perspective he would propose to her the minute they started dating. But that sentence Andy said was stuck in his head. They were in the good place. Happy. Living their life to the fullest and he was a little bit scared will the proposal be too much for Andy so he decided he will investigate.
"Are you crying, Andy?" He asked looking at her sparkly eyes because of the tears. "I'm not. Where did you get that idea?" She said trying to blink away the tears. "I see your tears, don't fool me." He teased. "Okay, fine. They are so cute and it's so romantic." She admitted and then looked at him. "Weird." He mumbled trying to catch her attention so he would find some new info.
"Weird?" She asked confused. "Yes, weird. You said you don't like proposals." He refreshed her memory. "No, I said I don't want to get married because I don't need a paper to prove my love for someone. Never mentioned proposal." She said still looking at the newly engaged couple hugging completely clueless why Robert said anything.
But for him that was exactly what he needed. He planned their proposal long time ago, he even hide the ring he bought before Andy got pregnant but then life happened and he pushed the proposal in the back of his head.
Robert wanted to do it for so long and it started to affect his life to the point it kept him awake at night.
"Okay enough of looking at them. Let them enjoy it alone. They will notice we are staring. Now I'm taking you somewhere." Robert took her hand and they left in a hurry.
"Where are we going?" She asked. "You'll see in a second. They were going to the docks. The night was amazing. Clear sky, no wind, nothing. Robert warned Lucas he might propose soon since he was going crazy. If Andy didn't react to the proposal like she did, it might not happened. But with her reaction Robert had to do it. Now. Tonight.
"Robert what we are doing here?" Andy asked looking around. "Maybe it's not that romantic..." he started taking both of her hands in his.
"I wanted to do it ever since we started dating. Then when I got the courage we got pregnant and I didn't want to do it so you'll think I did it because I got you pregnant. Then life happened and I pushed it back. Now that our life is amazing and we are stronger than ever before. It is a perfect timing. I know everything we want will come and we will have our little happiness in our hands..." he kissed her hands and knelt down on his knee.
Wha... what? Oh my God, Robert!" Andy said shocked putting one of her hands on he mouth in disbelief.
"Oh God I really hope you changed your mind. I'll say what I'm saying to your on a daily basis. I love you so much it's unreal sometimes. I'm addicted to you and it's not funny at all. I want to continue to make you happy for the rest of our lives. Hopefully to share more good than bad moments. But one thing I know and I'm sure of it. Whatever the universe has planned for us we will handle it together. Soo... Andrea Herrera will you make me the luckiest man on the planet and just say yes to whatever we decide to do in the future?"
Andy was speechless, tears were streaming down her face and she was in complete shock.
"Of course is a yes, silly! To whatever just as long as is with you!" Andy finally said and lowered herself to kiss him. Robert got up, hug and spin her around. "Can I have the ring now!" She said laughing and extending her hand. Robert smiled and placed the diamond shaped ring on her finger. "Wow! It's so beautiful..." she looked at the ring then at him and cupped his face placing a long passionate kiss.
"You were scared to ask me, didn't you?" She couldn't help but teased a bit. "I did. I wasn't sure you would say yes and then it would be awkward and I didn't want that and..." he started rambling.
"Shh." She puts a finger on his lips. "Now . take me home... so we can continue... this!" Andy was whispering between kisses.