AN: Thank you to everyone who chose to read this chapter, I hope you enjoy it 😊

Chapter Five – I'm not you, Dad

Kuon looked down nervously as he sat down on his bed with his father sitting on the chair and looking over towards where the collapsed wheelchair was as well as the medical supplies that they had wanted to keep just in case and Kuon had said that he wanted to have them to look at to remind himself of his progress. Right now Kuu wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not, he knew something was wrong with his son but he didn't know what.

"So, is it best for me to start talking?" Kuu asked hesitantly as Kuon looked away.

"Haven't you just answered that question for yourself?" he asked before looking down and trembling but he didn't want his father to think of him as incapable or weak. "I'm not like you. I'll never be like you," he saw Kuu flinch at that and looked down. "Don't think of it that way. I'm not saying that I don't want to be like you but I can't. I've always had one hero Dad and that's you," Kuon told Kuu as Kuu looked at him shocked. "I don't know, sometimes I think I'd be better off if…" he sighed and closed his eyes.

"How?" Kuu asked as Kuon bit his bottom lip, "What can your mother and I do to help you –"

"Sometimes I think that the two of you would be so much happier if I was dead!" Kuon yelled but as he saw his father's distraught and horrified expression, he regretted saying that. "Dad, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I don't -"

"Kuon," Kuu said as he looked down trying to remain the strong and heroic man his eleven year old needed him to be. "Do you really think that?"

"Dad, it's okay. I know that you're busy with work, we can stop discussing this now. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry. You're really busy with work and I'm just being ungrateful. I'll work harder and then I won't be a disgrace on the HIzuri name," Kuon said as he looked down. He wanted to punch himself or at least hurt himself for doing this to his dad. It wasn't right. He wished he had never said anything because he could see his father's heart crack when he said that.

"My job isn't something you should be worrying about," Kuu said as he looked at his little boy. "Kuon, you're growing up so fast, I didn't realize," he looked down. "I am sorry, son, but trust me, you are one of the two most important people in my life and I would never feel that way towards you. Do you think that you need to see someone or is this more -"

Kuon looked down, "It's…" he didn't know how to say it. "Dad, can I ask you a question about acting?"

"Kuon, you can ask me a question about anything," Kuu replied before trying to smile, " but if I say that I can't tell you then please trust me," he said. He stood up and went to sit on the bed next to his son just as he had when his kid was a small child.

"Do you think it's worth taking a break?" Kuon asked as his father looked confused, "I mean me. I just…I want to do it so much but I keep getting it wrong. I keep getting told that I'm not Kuu Hizuri. I don't even know what it means to be Kuu Hizuri," he whispered as he started to shake. "Then there are those who think that I'm," he shook his head again. He didn't want his father to feel guilt over how he had been attacked because of his heritage and his ethnic makeup. His dad was half Japanese and half American. He didn't want for his dad to feel responsible. "It's okay."

"Kuon, I…" Kuu closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that's happening to you. I can't stop the fact that you're my son but if you want me to speak with the -" Kuu stopped when he saw Kuon quickly shake his head. He could understand that. "Then," he said nervously, "if you don't want me to speak with them, maybe we could find ways of working around the problem."

"Dad, that isn't what you're supposed to be doing," Kuon argued as Kuu looked at him and how tired his son was.

"How about this?" Kuu tried to think quickly to create the best plan possible. "You take a break until you feel better, I don't see anything wrong with that and if you need to go to a therapist then you know your mother and I will pay for that, we'll do whatever we can to help. Take some time to just be happy to be you and then try to go into acting again?" he suggested and Kuon looked down.

"It must have been so easy for you," he told him and Kuu shook his head.

"Not always. I had a couple of rough jobs in the beginning especially with this hair color in Japan," he pointed to the blond strands. "I really wanted to dye my hair but my parents didn't want me to do so. I had to convince them that acting was something that I really wanted and we had arguments over it. Your grandmother really tried to learn the Japanese culture so she would agree with what your grandfather said. However, I was young and bold and I snuck out at night and did things without asking them. I had to prove to my family that I wanted it and eventually they came around and supported me but doing any job is going to ask you to give some sacrifices," Kuu told him and Kuon looked up at his dad and nodded.

"And if I was really crazy? If they told me that I had…" Kuon waved his arm in the air as if scooping up an idea from mid air, "If I had schizophrenia."

"Your mother and I would be standing right there beside you. Even if it turns out you do have some depression, Kuon, that doesn't define you. In my mind you are my son and I love you unconditionally. I want to help you and support you and be there for anything that you might need. I'm sorry that I've been blind but if there's anything I can do?" Kuu said, "I don't want to stand in your way so we'll try to think of something."

Kuon watched his father as he saw him really trying to think about how to address the problem. He knew that if he had said something earlier to prove to his father that he was feeling left out and neglected, that his dad would change his ways. Kuu never meant to be a neglectful parent, but he had become so busy he had lost the chance to be the dad he always wanted to be.

"Dad? Do you…do you think that there's ever a good excuse for fighting?" he asked, "even if someone's been bullying you?"

Kuu paused and turned around to look at Kuon very seriously. "Someone's been hurting you?" he asked in a no-nonsense tone of voice.

Kuon paused, "Only slightly, some small bruises," he said, "Dad, it's okay, don't worry about it, please?" he asked as he saw Kuu looking as if he wanted to hurt somebody in return for them hurting his son.

"Show me," Kuu said as he turned his whole body to face Kuon and the boy's eyes widened. He should have just kept his mouth closed.

…

…

Kyoko smiled up at Julie as she helped her with washing up the dishes from their prep work. She grinned as she managed to clean the bowls and put them back on the counter. She wondered if Kuon and his father were actually making progress. All that she really wanted was to see Kuon smiling and feeling happy again. He deserved that.

As she stayed with Julie in the kitchen, the mother grinned at her. "You're such a great helper, Kyoko?" she told her.

"Thank you," Kyoko giggled as she folded the dishtowel that she was using. "Father has staff who do the kitchen duties, but I do like cooking a lot. I've taken some classes," she smiled as Julie nodded.

"That certainly sounds exciting," she agreed as she started putting the objects in the proper places. "So, what is your favorite thing to cook?"

"Desserts," Kyoko smiled, "Everyone gets excited when they see them and it's nice that everyone is so happy," she said. She was about to continue talking about some of the new desserts that she had been able to make but was distracted by Kuu coming down with a rather serious and scary look on his face, a fire burning in his eyes.

"Honey?" Julie asked as she came over to him and tried to slip a hand onto his cheek and turn his head so that he was looking at her. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I have to go out. I have to talk to someone," Kuu said as he created a fist and looked away from her. "Julie, we have to have a talk tonight," he said quietly. "We can't continue on this way, not if we want Kuon to have a future," he said and Julie tilted her head to the side.

"Kuon's fine," she tried to argue and Kuu looked at her.

"Julie, Kuon is far from fine," he said before leaving without another word to her as Julie paled. What did her husband mean by that?

She laughed weakly so as not to alert Kyoko to the situation. "Wow, there's certainly a lot of drama," she said as she tried to sweep it under the rug for the small girl's sake. "That's the thing about family, right? Every day is a different adventure and it's all rather exciting."

Kyoko looked down, "Can I go and see Kuon?" she asked as Julie nodded.

"Just – if he doesn't want to talk then don't force him to, he usually just works himself out of his moods when he has one," Julie said and Kyoko frowned. That certainly didn't seem to be the healthiest way of talking about someone who had a legitimate reason to be upset, yet she wasn't going to argue with a woman who was so kind to her. Kyoko smiled before going up the stairs and to Kuon's room. She knocked on the door.

"Kyoko?" the eleven-year-old asked before he opened the door and looked at her. He looked so nervous and so guilty about the conversation that he and his father had just had.

"Are you alright, Kuon?" the young girl asked as she tilted her head to the side.

"I told him something that I shouldn't," Kuon said and Kyoko blinked curiously.

"Your dad?" Kyoko asked, "What did you tell him?"

"How the director's son said I was a waste of oxygen and that I was worthless…" Kuon said as he looked down. He didn't want to talk about the injuries that he had shown his father, injuries that could easily be covered by makeup and hadn't seemed to have scarred. He didn't know what his dad was going to do, but it most likely wasn't going to be good for anyone.

End of Chapter Five

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