AN: Just to clear up any confusion for the future, there are 3 universes so far. Espir's original universe (AKA: Our universe), Mew's dreamscape/simulation universe that she made specifically for Espir, and then the real Pokémon universe which Espir is currently in.
With the party all healed up after a quick trip to the Pokécenter, Alexis took everyone back to her home to celebrate the victory with her family and her Pokémon.
She was happy to have her second badge and she was relieved that the fight was over. She couldn't get the images of her maimed Pokémon out of her mind though. She had to accept the fact that in the moment of the fight, she was choosing her success over her Pokémon's health. How could any moral person do such a thing?
Before she had really gotten into wanting to be a trainer, she had no clue that Pokémon battles were so violent. It was starting to dawn on her just how brutal a path she had chosen. Not just for herself, but for her Pokémon.
Perhaps, if it wasn't so violent, she wouldn't feel so bad. Instead, all she saw were the broken and bleeding bodies of her friends. She viewed them as friends more than she viewed them as her fighters, but she treated them more like fighters than friends.
She had always thought of herself as a good person, but now, with the weight of the second badge in her pocket, she was starting to question whether that was really the case at all.
She could feel Marshadow's eyes on her as she walked from the Pokécenter to her home. Why did that Pokémon feel so different to the others in her team? It wasn't simply due to his unwillingness to exist inside of his Pokéball. There was something else and she just couldn't figure it out yet.
Alexis got back to her home and, just before she knocked on the front door, she turned to look at Marshadow, who was also waiting for the door to open. He looked back up at her and she could feel something there. She wasn't sure what emotion he was feeling, but she could tell it wasn't a positive one. Did he feel contempt for her? For what she had put him through in the battle, and for fetching him from his time near the museum? She didn't blame him if she did.
"Hey, Marshadow?" She said hesitantly, "I understand that we might not be clicking on the same wavelength right now, but I'd like to have a talk with you- later. Is that okay?"
Marshadow stayed staring at her for a moment longer than she was comfortable with, finally giving a nod of approval. She let out a small sigh and turned back to the front door.
Alexis gave the door three loud knocks- or at least, she tried to. The door swung open before the third strike landed, with Alexis' mother slammed into her with a bear hug as she pulled open the door. She must have been waiting there, for any sign of Alexis' return.
"How did it go?" Her mother cried out as she continued to ensnare Alexis.
"Can't breathe," Alexis choked out, reminding the older lady that Alexis still needed to be able to talk, in order to talk.
Her mother relinquished her grip and stepped aside to allow Alexis into the home.
"So, how did it go?" Her mother continued to pester, clearly too excited to compose herself properly.
"It went well," Alexis said, slowly turning around to face the mother. She then allowed her smile to crack open, mirroring the mother's as she held up the gym badge, "very well!"
"I knew it!" her mother cried out, "oh, we will be celebrating tonight!"
Alexis knew the drill. Her mother was always looking for an excuse to celebrate, so this was no surprise to her.
"You just go make yourself comfortable and I'll call you when dinner is ready," her mother said, "it's almost done!"
"What's almost done?" Alexis asked, trying to sniff the air for a clue.
"You'll see!" Her mother smiled, pushing her out of the way playfully to get back to the kitchen.
Alexis closed the front door and headed upstairs to drop her belongings off. Marshadow waited by the bedroom door as Alexis placed her bag on her bed.
"You can come in if you like?" Alexis said to the small Pokémon, "we aren't going to have the conversation before dinner. I wouldn't want it to accidentally ruin the night for my mother."
Marshadow stayed by the door, but peered into the room anyway. He nodded at Alexis' words and, once again, she found herself struggling to read his emotions.
Maybe it would be better to have the conversation now, Alexis thought, but what do I even say?
Alexis continued to fuss around her room. She didn't really want to keep her eyes on the Pokémon, but she knew she had to bridge the issue sooner rather than later. She would never know if Marshadow was attempting to do the same as she couldn't understand him, but he seemed to understand her perfectly.
"Are you… okay?" Alexis said, after a time, "I know I've been hard on you and asked a lot of you."
She turned to look at Marshadow, who simply stood in the doorway, silhouetted against the light, looking back at her. She could feel the frustration coming from the Pokémon at this point. It would make sense that he would be frustrated at her.
"Well," she continued, "I just wanted to say that there were no hard feelings on my end, and I'm sorry if I mistreated you. I appreciate how well you fought in the fight for our team and I understand your research is a priority for you. I'll make sure we can go back to the museum tomorrow to help you out with that, okay?"
If anything, Alexis noticed that the Marshadow was becoming more frustrated as she spoke. She held her tongue and watched as the Marshadow slapped itself in the face and then slumped to the ground, holding its head in its hands.
Alexis was about to ask again if it was okay, but knew better than to breach the silence in the room. She crouched down from where she stood and sat beside the Marshadow. She allowed it enough space to be alone if needed, but also was close enough to provide comfort if that was more what Marshadow needed. She hated not being able to understand the Pokémon and she could tell that there was clearly something she wasn't connecting as she tried to comfort her friendly little ghost.
...
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...
Espir was not having a good time.
He was still trying to calm himself from the emotions he had gone through during the fight, especially with Roserade.
He wasn't a violent person, but this world was asking him to be. He couldn't be an 'effective' Pokémon if he didn't successfully beat other Pokémon to a pulp. Even worse, they all appeared to be entirely happy and content with the prospect. Some appeared to revel in the challenge. He didn't want to become like that. He didn't want to be a Pokémon in the first place, but if he had to be one, he didn't want to be one that thrived on the misery of others. He wanted to be able to communicate his position to Alexis, so that they could work out a way to figure out how to fix his circumstances. Maybe her team could get better as they did, but he had his own priorities and he couldn't go about doing them if he was brutally injured every other day.
He traipsed behind Alexis as they walked back to her home after the seemingly routine trip to the Pokécenter. He could see the pain that she was feeling as she put her Pokémon through these battles and, despite himself, he felt sorry for her. He wanted to be mad, to feel spiteful at her not only getting angry at him for sneaking away, but also for forcing him into the Pokémon battle too. He wasn't her Pokémon. However, he knew she wasn't doing any of this maliciously, and he could feel her emotions during and after the battle. She was in over her head, same as he was. She was scared for her team and while the badge alleviated a little bit of that fear, she still carried a deep anxiety. Espir could assume that she was debating in her mind whether she even wanted to pursue this path much longer. He wanted to console her. Not just in the silent friendly Pokémon style that he had been doing, but as a human. He wanted to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be alright. But she didn't have a clue what he was saying whenever he opened his mouth, so he couldn't even try.
He was waiting to get inside after the walk back to Alexis' house when she finally turned around to talk to him. He looked up, waiting for whatever she had to say.
She told him that they were going to have to have a talk later that evening and he couldn't help but think that was a conversation about his disobedience the previous day. Would she let the second badge win go to her head and begin treating him like any other trainer treats their Pokémon? She clearly only wanted to wait until later so that she would have the opportunity to celebrate without him ruining the fun.
His suspicions were confirmed when she danced around and hugged her mother, showing off the new badge. He felt his pity for Alexis begin to bleed away as he watched her laugh and joke with her mother before she hurried up the stairs to her bedroom to prepare for what he assumed would be her celebratory dinner. He heard the mother discussing a dinner and the way she talked about it made him think it would be something special.
He followed up the stairs, maintaining his supposed role as a dutiful Pokémon. He had been introduced to the mother as a Pokémon that had been caught by Alexis, so he figured keeping up that appearance would keep him in the good books of Alexis long enough to get what he wanted. He just, wasn't sure what it was that he wanted anymore. Clearly, he couldn't trust Alexis if this night turned out to be a turning point in her journey as a trainer. He would need to run off and complete his search alone. Perhaps, in time, he would come back and explain why he did what he did, but in the body of a human instead of this minute form.
Espir hung by the door. He didn't want to breach Alexis' personal space while they weren't on good terms. Sure, she had smiled at him after the battle, but that could have been adrenaline from winning the fight. Her promise of needing a talk only gave him a worse feeling about the state of their relationship.
"You can come in if you like?"
Espir turned and saw Alexis looking at him from beside her bed. What was she planning? He hated that he had become so paranoid, but she had the ability to put him inside a Pokéball if he stepped out of line, so he really didn't have any choice but to follow the question as if it were an order. He stepped into the room and waited for Alexis to make the next move.
Alexis explained how she didn't want to have the conversation before the dinner, in order to avoid ruining things for the evening; exactly how Espir assumed she was thinking. His concerns about the way Alexis was thinking were only becoming cemented with each passing moment. He hung by the door, as close to it as he could without blatantly looking like he wanted to escape. He didn't want to be too obvious with that wish- although that was one of the main things occupying his mind at that moment.
Espir got the sense, both from Alexis' body language, and his natural empathic connection to her emotions, that Alexis was stalling. He continued to linger by the door, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to reveal what her plans were. She busied herself around the room. He knew the routine as he had done it many times before. She was procrastinating.
Finally, she paused, standing looking down at her bed and away from him, she spoke up once again.
"Are you okay?" She asked. Espir didn't know how to respond, even if he could. Why did she want to know that?
She looked over at him and he tried to keep a blank expression on his face as he tried to read her own. She was not difficult to read. He could feel the waves of sadness pushing out of her, crashing upon his ears like ill-timed tides at the beach. She continued to express her worry for him. Even with his empathic abilities, he had read her completely wrong.
I'm an idiot, he thought, irritably, what has this trainer done but her best for you? You're so easily turned to paranoia, you should be thanking whatever twisted gods there are that you aren't a trainer anymore.
Alexis continued talking and it helped to focus on her words in order to avoid the crushing weight of guilt he was feeling, of anger at himself for doubting the morality of Alexis. She had run into a ghost-ridden death trap in order to just talk to him. But what if she only did that in order to catch you? You can never be too careful. He thought, the words coming to his mind unbidden. He was in the middle of berating himself for being mistrustful and he starts thinking even worse thoughts? Get out of my head, he yelled silently into his mind.
This wasn't the time to have a breakdown. He had to be there for Alexis. She had just had to sit through the pain of waiting for her Pokémon to be healed after pushing them through a near deadly fight that, ironically, only the ghost survived. She must have been tearing herself up inside and all he had thought of was how quickly he could run away again. How had he misjudged the situation so poorly? He had all the skill and opportunity to be a good ally to this impressionable, innocent trainer, and he had just given her more grief.
Espir looked up, Alexis had stopped talking. All he could hear was the pounding inside his own head. She was looking down at him, hoping for a response. A response he could never give her since she didn't understand him.
Good thing too, he thought, or you'd only disappoint her further.
No, he argued back, she would cast him aside for being a lying, deceitful little human.
Shut up, he's lucky to have a trainer as understanding as her.
But why is she so tolerant in the first place? Surely she has an agenda.
Espir couldn't stop the bickering. Back and forth it went as he kept his eyes locked on Alexis, unable to utter a word as the voices got louder. He needed to be able to speak his mind. He needed to get the voices to shut up for one moment.
He tried to claw at his throat, desperation at being unable to speak for so long was beginning to set in. Instead, the impact of the voices won and he slapped himself to try and shut them up first.
The shock of hitting himself brought him back to the moment. How pathetic he felt, in a body that wasn't his, with a mind that wouldn't listen to him. What was there left? He was worthless and slowly going mad in this vessel that wasn't his own.
His legs gave way as he slumped to the floor. He wanted to cry, but he was so irritated at himself he didn't think he was worthy of being allowed to. So, he resigned himself to putting his head in his hands and just wallowing in his situation.
There was a slight shuffling as Alexis sat down beside him. She was hesitant to approach and he wasn't surprised; he was surprised that she would even want to, after how he had treated her.
Espir sat there, he wasn't sure how long for, but Alexis didn't move from his side for a second. He was considering making the first move of rebuilding the bridge between them by shuffling over towards her, but her mother knocked at the door, pulling away her attention.
"I can see you both are having a moment," she said, "just popped up to say that dinner was ready."
"We'll be down soon," Alexis said quietly.
Her mother nodded and tiptoed away, so as to not disturb the both of them any further.
"Would you like to come down for some dinner?" Alexis asked, "my mother is a great cook."
Espir nodded and dragged his hands away from his face. It took an enormous effort to stand up and he wasn't certain if it was due to being physically exhausted, or mentally, but the effect was still the same. He didn't want to be a drag on Alexis' celebrations, so he put on a happier face and made gestures as if to urge Alexis out of her room and down the stairs in front of him. He would make it up to her. Somehow, he would figure out how to make it up to her.
...
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...
Alexis wasn't sure what had caused the Marshadow to have such an outburst. She worried that it was due to her questioning, but if that had been the case, he wouldn't have let her sit by him for so long. She needed to figure out how to communicate more effectively with it. She wanted to put the issue aside so that she could make the most of the dinner and miniature party that her mother had arranged for her.
There were small banners hung up on the walls and a collection of hastily blown-up balloons piled in different corners of the dining room. On the table, three dishes had been prepared and laid out. One for Alexis, one for her mother and one for-
Marshadow tried to climb up onto the third seat, but Alexis' mother shooed him away.
"No," she said sternly, "that is not for you."
Marshadow stared daggers at Alexis' mother, but then caught Alexis' eye and walked away from the table.
"I did promise him some of the dinner," Alexis said, "maybe not at his seat, but at the other one?" Alexis pointed towards the fourth and final chair at the dining table. Her mother sighed and nodded, going to pour out a smaller dish for Marshadow.
The food was a noodle soup with diced meats. Alexis loved to try and guess which meats were in her noodle soups, especially seeing as how her mother was so good at cooking up the soup.
With Marshadow about to tuck in too, Alexis abstained from her usual attempts at guessing. It didn't feel right when there was another Pokémon at the table.
"So, honey," her mother said, "what was going on upstairs? Everything alright? It feels far too somber to be a party right now."
"I'm sorry," Alexis sighed, "I've just been having issues communicating with Marshadow and I think our wires got crossed at some point. It's been a little stressful as neither of us is getting the whole of the conversation."
"Well," her mother said, with a confused look across her face, "what does any other trainer do? I'm sure they don't all have communication issues?"
"For some reason, this feels different," Alexis said.
"They all feel different, honey. It's why every Pokémon trainer believes they have the right Pokémon to take them to become the Pokémon champion. Now, you will become the Pokémon champion if you set your heart on it. All those other trainers, though, they're mistaken."
"I think your advice isn't really making much sense."
"I think your food is getting cold."
"Sorry," Alexis chuckled as her mother changed the topic, "it really is good, there's just a lot on my mind, that's all."
Alexis' mother nodded and acted as if she was offended at the lack of eating, but still shot Alexis a wink.
"You could always check out that academy," Alexis' mother said suddenly, "I think they usually help out travelling trainers. I'm not sure how much it costs for classes, though."
"That sounds like a good plan. Where is it?"
"I can't quite remember, unfortunately," her mother said, shrugging, "somewhere East of here, at least."
"I'll be heading that way in no time," Alexis grinned, "I need to collect some badges from the eastern part of the region anyway."
"Indeed, you do," her mother nodded proudly, "gosh, how I wish I could be taking these sorts of adventures. Unfortunately, I think my services are better spent here at home."
"If you were off adventuring, who would make all this delicious soup?" Alexis smiled, she turned to Marshadow to check on whether he had eaten his own soup or not. "How are you liking it?"
Marshadow's bowl was completely empty, having been drained long before the halfway mark of the conversation.
"Oh!" Alexis exclaimed, "I'm sorry Marshadow, are you happy still being here for our nattering, or would you like to spend some time off with the others?"
Alexis didn't really wait for a response and she didn't exactly get one either. Their communication issue meant that she would have struggled to understand it anyway. She plucked off the pokéball containing Piplup, and let her blue bird Pokémon out into the dining room.
Marshadow looked down at the Piplup from his position on the seat and then they both looked over to Alexis who waved them off.
"Go on," she said, smiling, "go and have some fun upstairs before we rest up for the night. I'm sure all of this is much too boring for you to stick around for."
With a lingering look to Alexis, Marshadow left the room, following Piplup up the stairs and out of sight.
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...
"What do you think you're playing at?" Piplup demanded as the two Pokémon reached the isolation of Alexis' bedroom. Espir could see Piplup was fuming. He would be able to tell even with feeling the anger pulsing off him in wave of heat.
"What?" Espir asked, "I don't like being in Pokéballs so I was allowed to have dinner with the other beings that weren't in Pokéballs." He made a deliberate effort to not say people or humans or anything that would reignite the suspicious atmosphere that Piplup had caught onto earlier.
"Right. The Pokéball problem," Piplup sneered, "you know, you really piss me off every time you decide to open your mouth."
"I feel like I have a habit of that."
"That's why I said every time."
"Look," Espir said, "what do you actually want from me? I don't think I've been a jerk, but you treat me like I killed your whole family or something?"
"I don't like you," Piplup said, "I don't need to explain why."
"It could help me to stop annoying you. There's a start."
"Don't try and be smart with me. You're just some jumped up second-rate jackass who doesn't know his place on the team. You need to get back in line."
"So, it's jealousy?" Espir said, "now we're getting somewhere. You're jealous of me because you think I'm Alexis' favorite?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"That isn't a denial."
"Can you just shut up for one moment?" Piplup said, jumping up onto the bed to look out of the bedroom window and away from Espir.
Espir could feel the anger buzzing around Piplup, but there was something else. A nucleus to the chaos. Sorrow.
"Look, Piplup-"
"The name's Letos," Piplup snapped, "why am I not surprised you forgot?"
"I- I didn't know?"
"Alexis does have a habit of only calling out Pokémon names in battles," Piplup nodded, still not looking at Espir, "but her inexperience doesn't excuse your ignorance. You didn't know? Maybe there's a reason for that?"
"Yes, of course there's a reason!" Espir shouted, "you refuse to have a conversation with me that isn't filled with anger and resentment. You think I want to be here? Trapped in this stupid body?!"
Fuck! Not again!
Letos turned around slowly to look down at Espir.
"Now, what could that mean hmmm?" Letos said, narrowing his eyes.
Letos looked as if he was going to say some more, but a crashing sound outside drew his attention. Espir hopped up onto the bed to look out of the window too.
Outside, rushing through the dark, were three people. They were dressed in a uniform that Espir was finding more and more tiresome to look at. Team Cosmic.
As Espir and Letos watched the grunts run by, they threw bricks through the window of another building, causing a similar smashing sound to the previous one.
Someone came running by to stop them, but all three grunts laid into the middle-aged man. Two helped wrestle him to the ground as the third landed multiple punches to the man's face until the man struggled no longer. They rummaged through his pockets and revealed two Pokéballs.
Neither Espir nor Letos could hear what the grunts said, but they could make a good guess.
Team Cosmic were becoming emboldened and dangerous.
It was now their job, their duty, to stop them.
Lonewolf1836: I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, and there is still a lot to happen yet! Hopefully, the author's note I made at the beginning of the chapter can clear up any of your confusion.