Sorrrrrry! I had an awful week and had absolutely no time to write :). sliding bow down Please forgive me!

Carter's Cooking Chapter Three

III

What had started out as harmless fun was quickly becoming something more, Jack decided. Sam was no longer speaking to him as a sort of punishment for his jokes…even though they had been pretty funny.

Sam had also stopped cooking. This in itself wasn't so bad, seeing how the cells in Jack's mouth were finally beginning to grow back. Daniel was also recovering well, after getting the "pie" out of his system.

But what concerned Jack was Sam. She had even gone so far as to confine him to the couch! So late night snuggles, hugs…other…stuff.

Jack was in pain.

III

Sam sat in Janet's office, arms folding stubbornly across her chest as listened to Janet's plea.

"Sam, I can teach you! I've been cooking my whole life. Every Frasier knows basic cooking skills."

"Janet, no! I give up! I'm the laughing stock of the entire base now thanks to Colonel O'Neill's jokes!"

Janet's eyebrow rose. "Since when was he Colonel O'Neill again?"

Sam's face reddened and she remained silent. Janet leaned forward, a sort of conspirator's look flooding her features.

"Is he sleeping on the couch now?"

Sam nodded and Janet burst into peals of laughter.

"Oh, that's priceless," she said, wiping her eyes.

Sam looked confused. "What?"

Janet winked. "It's just, I can see who wears the rank in your relationship."

III

"Okay. We are going to start with the basics. By the time I'm done with you, you will be making some of the finest cuisine known to man. Colonel O'Neill will fall at your feet."

Janet and Sam were standing in Janet's kitchen. All counters were littered with pots, pans, dishes, mixing spoons, measuring cups and seemingly hundreds of other tools that each served some different function. Sam rolled up her sleeves and smiled at the thought.

"What are we starting with? Pasta? Casserole?"

Janet mimicked her gesture and replied with a small smirk.

"Toast."

III

Three loaves of bread and two toasters later, Janet was giving up.

"I don't understand. How can anyone screw up toast?"

Sam's face had taken on a flushed expression, but whether it was due to embarrassment or rather the flames that had appeared out of Toaster 1 remained a mystery.

"Run me through it again," she said, lips pursing in distaste.

Janet sighed and ran her hands through her dark hair.

"Step one. Insert bread into toaster."

Sam reached into the bread sack and pulled out two slices of bread, holding them with a caution she usually invoked on C4 or naquata. She gingerly inserted them into the toaster, tongue appearing at the edge of her mouth as she concentrated.

Janet rolled her eyes. "Step two. Set toaster to medium."

Sam reached out and poked the toaster control button until it was set to medium. She turned and peeked meekly at Janet over her shoulder.

"Step three. Press down the lever on the side."

Sam flexed her fingers. "So close…just reach out. That's right, hit the button Sam," she thought.

With a trembling hand, Sam reached out and pressed down the lever and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Hey…I did it!" Sam opened her eyes slowly, a small victorious grin spreading across her face.

At that moment, the toaster exploded.

III

"That thing has it in for me!"

"That's three toasters, Sam! How can you mess that up?"

Janet was storming back to her lab after putting out the raging fire in her kitchen, having finally given up on Sam.

"Janet, I'm sorry! I don't know what happened. I followed your instructions perfectly!"

Janet turned to face her.

"I could be wrong, but I don't think deep-frying my kitchen was Step Four."

They entered the Infirmary, only to be greeted by a nervous Jack, who was just winding up a visit with Daniel.

"Wow…you guys look…well-done," he said, referring to the scorch marks that lined their clothes.

Sam narrowed her eyes and, with a small noise of frustration, spun on her heel and left the lab.

Jack looked confused.

"What'd I say?"

III

Hope that makes it up to you guys! Reviews are appreciated, as usual. Glad to know so many people are enjoying this! I'll definitely continue this until I run out of food ideas for Sam, so stick around. Oh…and if you're wondering where the idea for this story came from…let's just say, it's based on real life events. -T