DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST BREAST IMPLANTS...JUST WOMEN WHO CLAIM THEY'RE REALLY THEIR BOOBS! OH AND I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST SKINNY PEOPLE...
Authors note: For those of who that didn't see, my friend Gina posted a review yesterday telling everyone that I couldn't get near fanfiction.net for some reason or another. this has been happening for the past week. Sorry guys about that, but heres the latest chapter!
OK, so I kinda lost my list of spokespeople/products, so I recreated the list to the best I could remember and for those that I couldn't remember, I just thought of a new product. Well, I then did the only thing that could happen at this point: find the old list (figures!). Well this leaves me with doing one of two things:
1) pick one product and write ONE commercial (BORING!)
or
2) write a commercial for both products.
I chose the latter. As there was a request for Frodo, he will be next.
did I mention this is part one of two?
Ok, so I've ranted about Legolas' blonde hair (by the way I saw an almost lifesize card board stand up thing of legolas...I thought I was going to die. It was for sale and I would have gotten it...if there had been enough room in my car...) and how freakishly blonde and long it was. Well, what about Frodo's EYES? Wanna talk blue! I know blue. Everyone in my family has blue eye's going back to my great granddaddy (I'm not joking).
They're supposedly "natural". Well, we all know what "natural" is in this day and age ("No, size DD really is my NATURAL cup" -- 4'6" twig that looks as if she survives off of a bowl of ice and three cheerios per week....you all know the ones I mean...they're the ones you want to throw food at...)
And well, it seems to me that Frodo would be the PERFECT spokeshobbit for acuvue colored lenses.
We fade in on hobbiton. Frodo steps out of his hole in the hill. "You know, my eyes have become quite famous for their blue-ity, But they haven't ALWAYS been this blue." Freaky close up of Frodo's eyes. Frodo sits on a bench. "IN fact, back when I was a young hobbit, no one would play with me because I was so pale and my eye're had no color. They were simply white with black dots. But then, a friend....well no wait...I had no friends....a terrified stranger told me about acuvue colored lenses.
So I went to the eye doctor and after they cam out of their intial shock, they threw me out of the door and tossed packages of blue night and day contact lenses at me." Shows Frodo running from optometrists building while dodging boxes of contact lenses tied to rocks. "So after I changed my name (Hey you think you get as good as a name as 'Frodo Baggins' by means of your parents?), and moved back to hobbiton as they had shunned me and I was forced to live in a cave, GOLLUM, I became popular. And now, everyone calls me 'Blue Eye's!"
random passing hobbit "We do not!"
"OI! This is my commercial!" Picks up a rock and throws it at the hobbit. Poor hobbit is knocked unconscious "HA HA HAAA!!!! WHAT THEN?! OH YEAH! Go blue eye's, it's your birthday! Go blue eye's, Its your birthday! OH Yeah! It's your birthday!" Keeps repeating similar phrases in the backround while doing mid 90's dancesteps such as the cabbage patch
ANNOUNCER: Talk to your eye doctor about acuvue colored contact lenses today!
The rest will come later as long as I can get to Fanfiction.net