Chandler drove toward the turnoff with Ross in the car. "Are you sure this is alright with your folks?" he asked.
"Yeah I told them how your parents were out of town and they had no problem with that." Ross said as he watched the signs.
"Did you tell him how I hate Thanksgiving and I can't stand turkey and that other Thanksgiving food?" Chandler mentioned.
"Not yet. Oh wait today, you are going to get to meet Rachel." Ross smiled. "Remember she is mine. After all, she is a high school girl and I am a college man."
"Got it . No Rachel. But remember we are going to test those fake ids that Gandolf made for us." Chandler reminded him.
"Oh I forgot to tell you. I kind of told my sister about you." Ross started to stutter.
"The fat one." exclaimed Chandler.
"She does have pretty blue eyes. Like my mom." said Ross.
"Geller I told you before, I don't like fat chicks. I like chicks with big breasts and long legs, not fat ones. Man." he sighed.
"Relax , remember we are going out later, unless…" Ross stopped.
"Unless what?" asked Chandler.
"Unless I get lucky with Rachel." said Ross smiling.
"Do you hear yourself? If this girl has known you for as long as you said and hasn't done anything, then chances are good that she won't . Will you come to your senses? Especially if she is hot, guys like us don't get hot girls." Chandler yelled.
"Well I am more mature now. I am not that same geeky kid she knew before. I am a man from the city." Ross said.
Chandler pulled off the Long Island Expressway. He looked in the mirror to check his hair. He also made sure he didn't have too much liner on his eyes. These after all were the preppie Long Island people.
"That's it right there." Ross said. Chandler pulled in the driveway. He could see people looking out the front window. He hoped today wasn't going to be too painful. Dragging their book bags and Ross' laundry, they went to the front door. Ross opened the door of the white house and walked in with Chandler following him.
So this was a real person's house. No servants or better yet houseboys. There was a series of pictures that caught Chandler's eye. It almost seemed like the wall was a shrine to Ross. He had mentioned a sister but he couldn't see her in any of the pictures.
Suddenly there were a crowd of people in the living room. Chandler saw this auburn haired beauty with the hottest body he had ever seen. Next to her was an enchanting brunette. She did have beautiful blue eyes , but she was very fat. Two older people that Chandler remembered as Ross' parents entered the living room. Judy wrapped her arms around her son when she saw him enter the house.
"You're home. Happy Thanksgiving darling." Judy said. Ross broke from his mother.
"Everyone this is Chandler. My roommate and the lead singer of our band." Ross announced. Chandler stood nervously as he was being eyed by everyone.
Monica walked over to her brother and poked him with her elbow. She couldn't get her eyes off this guy that her pain in the ass brother brought home with him. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes and he looked like someone who was on MTV. His hair was like he was in Duran Duran.
Ross matter of factly said, "Oh and this is my little sister Monica."
Chandler eyed the young girl in front of him. She smiled shyly at him. He was trying so hard not to be the smart ass, but it slipped out. He let out a small giggle at the word , "little."
Judy was bound and determined to play the charming hostess, even if it was to this rather strange boy. He shuffled his feet and continued to look around the room .
"I 'm so glad you could come Chandler. We've got plenty of food , so I hope your hungry." Judy said cordially.
"Mom, Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat Thanksgiving food." Ross said. Monica saw this as her chance. "Oh Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner." Judy rolled her eyes. Imagine someone who didn't like Thanksgiving. Chandler's eyes wandered over to the table, spying the turkey and the other traditional foods. There it was the pumpkin pie. Seeing it made Chandler's stomach upset.
"As long as the pilgrims, didn't eat it. I'm in." he laughed. Monica started to laugh as the Diet Coke tickled her nose. She ran in the kitchen quickly. Chandler thought to himself , even to the fat chick , I am still funny. Chandler noticed the other girl take out her compact and look disgusting at her nose. Ross nudged him and casually walked over to where she was standing.
"Uh hey Rach, does it feel weird around here now? You know , since I've been away at college?" Ross asked curiously, hoping that Rachel would finally show some sort of feeling for him. Nonchalantly she said, "Not really." Then Rachel walked into the kitchen.
"So that's Rachel? The one you wrote all those songs about? She is hot." Chandler said. "But you might want to rethink the lyrics to "It Feels Weird for Her Since I've Been Gone." he laughed. Ross walked into the kitchen. He had heard them talking and then he heard something that Rachel said.
"It's time I started dating men."
This was his chance. She was tired of little high school boys. Finally she could appreciate someone intelligent and sophisticated. He was finally going to get what he wanted. He would show her how mature he really was.
Going through the cupboard, he pretended to look for a bowl for his mother. "Sorry Judy, I couldn't find the bowl you and Jack were looking for." he yelled into the living room.
Monica rolled her eyes. She had her suspicions about her brother's feelings for her best friend. She giggled. Now she would fix her "perfect brother" for all the years he made her life hell. She would embarrass him in front of his precious Rachel.
"Call them Mom and Dad, you loser." she yelled. A smile crept across her face as Rachel rolled her eyes.
In a high pitched squeal he exclaimed, "Monica." as he closed the door and left.
Monica watched as Chandler took a bite of the macaroni and cheese. He couldn't believe how good it was. Usually he thought mac and cheese was from a box and would be mixed with milk. But this actually had grated pieces of cheese in it. It was good.
"So how is the macaroni and cheese Chandler?" Monica asked anxiously as she looked over at Rachel.
"Really good. You should be a chef." Chandler smiled.
This made Monica smile. "Okay." she said happily. Maybe that is just what she would do. Let big brother be the brain in the family.
Later on, since Monica had helped to cook. Ross would do the dishes. Now this would give Chandler and him a chance to plan his next move to get Rachel. So far everything was a failure, but he had one more trick up his sleeve. He would play her a song later, then she wouldn't be able to resist him.
"I'm thinking of asking Rachel out tonight." he said smugly. "Playing her the song I wrote last week." Chandler just shook his head at his delusional friend. This girl had shown no interest at all in him.
"Well don't be too long. Remember we are going to test those new fake id's right Clifford Alvarez? " Chandler giggled at the thought of sneaking into a NY club.
"Okay Roland Chang, but if I do get lucky, I may be with her all night." Ross said hopefully.
Chandler knew deep down this wasn't happening, but if it did ,he did not want to spend the night in the ultra normal Geller house alone. After all , this was his roommate's parents home.
"Don't do this to me." begged Chandler. "Oh it's cool my parents won't mind." said Ross. "It's not that , I just don't want to be stuck here with your fat sister." Monica 's face sank. The cute boy was nothing but like all the other jerks .
Ross turned to him, "Dude that isn't very nice. It's one thing for me to call my sister fat, but you don't even know her. I mean she has never sat on your face." Ross said defensively.
"Sorry ." Chandler muttered. Open mouth and insert foot. Once again, he had ruined Thanksgiving. Rachel ran out the door smiling. Chip and her had made up.
"So what do you want to do tonight?" asked Chandler. Ross just looked at him. Neither of them felt like clubbing now.