A/N- I can't believe that we are on Chapter 7. lol Congrats to Leslie and Leighann for spotting the Boondock Saints quotes. They were "The hit's just keep on comin'" (First Movie) & "What are you, fuckin' five years old?" (Second Movie). On to the story!
"Everybody takes a weapon." Rick says.
It was still early, the sun had only been up for a little bit. Shane had come to talk to me and Abby, asked for now if we would be willing to relinquish our eagles. We were going out to look for Sophia and guns were too noisy. I sigh, I wasn't a fan of coughing up my weapon, but I had to trust Shane and his judgment. So there I stand, leaning against the RV tapping a katana I had found against my boot, Abby opted for a machete after we gave our guns to Dale. Don't ask how I found a freaking sword, cause I'm not even sure. We listen intently, trying to prepare ourselves for what we could possible run into. That's when Andrea made her presence known. She told Shane that we needed our guns. Shane disagreed, told her we didn't need people popping of guns at the slightest noise because that, would mean game over if a hoard of walkers happened to be passing. Andrea just rolls her eyes at Shane as Daryl steps forward.
"The ideas to take the creek up, bout five miles, turn around come back down the other side. Chances are, she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark." Daryl says as he walks away.
"Stay quiet, stay sharp. Keep space between you, but always stay insight of each other." Rick says.
"Everybody assemble your packs." Shane says.
Abby and I follow Daryl, Glenn and Shane as we lock hands. This was how we worked. I glance at Abby and nod as we wait for Rick and Lori. I take a deep breath, this was all so much to take in. I couldn't help but worry about Sophia, I didn't want to think the worse. I could tell some people, like Shane and maybe even T-Dogg were thinking the same thing, how long could Sophia last? I shake the bad thoughts from my head as we head into the woods. Abby and I were right behind Rick and Daryl, Daryl leading because he was out expert hunter. This life was still taking some getting use to, I was dirty, I knew I smelled and on top of that I think I'm getting sun burnt. We move through the woods, all primed and ready should an attack happen.
Though our little caravan slows down as we approach a tent. Anything could be inside it, Abby squeezes my hand and I nod. We stay back a ways, kneeling down and keeping out of sight. Everyone was thinking the same thing, maybe Sophia was in there. Daryl points to Rick and motions towards the tent. Daryl and Rick move forward a bit. Rick motions for everyone to stay back a bit and then crouches down with Daryl as if they were making a game plan.
"She could be in there." Shane says from his post behind us.
"Could be a whole buncha things in there." Daryl says as he rises to his feet.
Daryl moves forward, crossbow at the ready. We follow slowly, keeping watch. I don't know why, in the middle of this, I notice Daryl and his crossbow. He wields it with grace, like it was a delicate flower, like it was part of him. I shake my head, what the hell is wrong with me? Focus on the task at hand. I grip my katana as we walk, careful not to make any noise. Daryl motions to Rick before grabbing the large hunting knife from its holster. What was he like MacGyver, he had weapons everywhere. Again I shake my head, why the hell was I having thoughts about Dixon? I yell at myself to stop it as I kneel down with Abby and Lori.
Daryl drops his bow as he creeps up on the tent. Rick and Shane stand guard, watching, waiting for Daryl to reveal what's inside the tent. Daryl peeks around the tent before shrugging as he looks towards us. Rick nods before he and Shane turn towards us. He whispers for Carol and motions for her to come towards him. Carol rushes towards Rick, her eyes were full of hope.
"Call out softly, if she's in there, yours is the first voice she should hear." Rick says.
We were all holding on to hope, praying softly for a miracle.
"Sophia? Sweetie are you in there? Sophia, it's mommy. Sophia, we're all here baby. It's mommy." Carol spoke.
Daryl begins to slowly unzip the tent. We hold our breath, the moment was tense, I feel Abby squeezing my hand, I subconsciously squeeze Lori's hand as I hold it. "Please God, give us this one thing. Please, let her be in there and be ok." I pray. We slowly move behind Carol as the guys walk towards the tent. I place my arm around Carol and tell her it's ok, even if I know it was a lie. I hold her hand gently, trying to reassure her. We watch as Daryl enters the tent. God, the smell, it almost knocks us down. The heat much have cooked what ever the hell was making that smell. Carol calls out to Daryl, but for a few moments we got no answer.
"Ain't her." Daryl says as he finally comes out.
We breath a sigh of relief, but this also, once again, brought tension among us. If Sophia wasn't there, where the hell was she? I look around and run a hand through my hair. I rub Carol's back and sigh. It now seemed that every day, we got a kick in the face.
"What's in there?" Andrea asks.
"Some guy, doing what Jenner said. Opted out. Ain't that what he called it?" Daryl said as he slings his bow over his shoulder.
I go to speak, but suddenly bells ring out. They echoed through the trees, everyone looked around trying to figure out where they were coming from. Rick motions and we all take off running like bats outta hell. Maybe it was Sophia, I didn't get my hopes up this time, no one did really. We couldn't handle another disappointment. We stop and look around, it was so hard to tell where the bells were coming from, they echoed through the woods, so it was hard to pinpoint a location. Abby points South East, she has great hearing, we take off in the direction Abby pointed hoping she was right. Soon we come upon an old church, we race to the doors.
Shit, Abby tripped and landed hard. I stop, wave everyone on, I got her. I look down and inspect her bleeding knee. I shake my head and laugh a bit, she was always kind of clumsy. I look towards the door to see everyone staring at something, Then I see Shane and Rick move inside, Daryl handing off his bow to Glenn and then I hear it, walkers growling. I look back at Abby, I had to get her up. I struggle, but I manage to get her up.
"Oh my God, you have a big ass!" I joke.
"Shut it, Murph." She says.
I help her towards the church just as everyone files out. They hurry towards us, concerned for Abby, but also saddened by the fact the fucking bells were on a timer.
"You ok, Abby?" Shane asks.
"Yeah, just a bump and a scrape, I'll be fine." Abby answered.
"You guys go on, I'll get her back to camp." I Say.
"That a good idea?" Andrea asks.
"I have no choice, the sooner I get her back the less likely something bad happens. I got her and my sword, we'll be fine." I say.
Daryl hands over the gun he found in the tent, tells us to watch out and stay safe. He looks at me, it was like he wanted to say something, but didn't really know what. I nod and tell him get back safe. I begin to help Abby back up the trail, I keep my eyes peeled for walkers and Sophia. As we walk, well more like as I drag Abby along, I laugh out of frustration.
"Remember that Christmas party? I carried you home cause you got drunk at the office party?" I ask, trying to keep our minds occupied.
"Yeah, but if I wasn't mistaken, weren't you a bit tipsy too?" Abby joked.
"Least I kept my pants on." I laugh.
"Till you met Daryl." She shot back and laughed.
"Whatever, so I had a one night stand. It won't happen again." I say.
Granted I find myself not minding if it happened again, I know it's cliché, but Daryl knew his way around if you know what I mean.
"Suuuuure." Abby laughs.
"Shut up Abbz. Besides, it's not like ya know, I have time to properly date and get to know him. What, we have a nice evening dinner of squirrel, the moans of the walkers can be like a soft romantic melody, I can tell him how the dirt brings out his eyes, he can tell me how he loves the twigs in my hair. Titanic eat your heart out." I laugh.
Abby laughs as well, she understood me, and she probably could already sense that Daryl was growing on me and like all best friends do, she would continue to tease me about it. Not that I minded, I sensed soon I could tease her about Shane.
"So what's the deal with you and the Alpha Dog?" I ask.
"No clue what you're talking about?" She answers shyly.
"Please, if Rick didn't need him he would of hoisted you over his shoulder, and carried you back to camp." I tease.
"Oh he could carry me anywhere he wanted...I um mean..." Abby stammered as she caught what she was saying.
"You mean what you said, shut up." I laugh.
We continue on, just like always, we had each other. We were trying to keep our spirits up, even if the outlook was grim. Abby and I talk and laugh until we reach the highway. Dale comes over and helps me hoist Abby over the guard rail. We take her into the RV and sit her down. Silently I begin to tend to her ankle and knee as Dale sits down across from Abby at the small table. He starts telling me about T-Dogg, it didn't shock me. I look around and think God must have a sense of humor, that had to be it. I use to believe God never gave us anymore than we could handle, but now he had me in a choke hold and I was ready to fucking tap. I shake my head and tell Dale it'll be fine. Classic words I have gotten so use to saying. It will be alright, when nothing was alright. Once I got Abby doctored I kiss her forehead, tell her to rest then turn and tell Dale I would be back. I grab the Katana from the floor where I dropped it and headed out the door.
I walk a bit down the road and then turn, I kick the car next to me with my boot. I punch at it and kick it again. I nail it with the blade of my katana. I was pissed, frustrated, I needed to let this out. So there I was, taking my anger out on a Mercury Sable. I smashed the windows, slit the tires, anything I could do to help me let go of this anger. I was mad at the world, mad at God, mad at myself. I wanted to scream, but didn't have the luxury, walkers could be anywhere. I continue my assault, I think I bit my lip at some point because I taste a bit of blood in my mouth. I don't care though, I continue on.
Finally my legs give out and I fall to my knees, hidden between the cars and I cry. Nothing like before, no, I cry hard. I feel my body shake, I cough a bit. I cry for Sophia, the people that were left to die in their cars, my friends I've lost. I cry for the shape of the world, I cry for every member of our group, hell I even cry for the walkers. They were people once, they loved someone, someone loved them. They were someone's husband, wife, son, daughter, mother, father. I wrap my arms around my stomach as I let the tears fall. I was the strong one, I was suppose to hold it together, but my faith was failing me. I knew I had to carry on, but I wonder for a second if Jenner was right. Would it have been easier to opt out? Easier to just say fuck it all? Suicide is a mortal sin, but now I wonder if God would be forgiving under the circumstances. What was I thinking? I couldn't be that weak. I look up to sky, and just pray, even if I wonder if God even hears me anymore.
I guess time passed fast and I didn't notice. I've been sitting there on the warm pavement for a while now. I hear the sound of something coming towards me, there was no mistaking Daryl's stomp, even though it seemed heavier than normal. I sniffle and wipe my eyes as he approaches me. I move off my knees and sit down on the pavement. I now notice my knees bleeding, I guess from being pressed into the pavement for too long. Daryl stops and squats down in front of me. He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. His face was dirtier than before, his eyes were dark and his face told the story of his annoyance, anger and frustration. But I also notice his eyes seem to lighten as he talks to me.
"What I tell ya bout cryin'?" He says.
"I know, I'm just having a girl moment. I'll be fine." I say.
"Ok then, I'm not good with gettin' all emotional, but tell me what's wrong?" he asked.
"Just wonderin', how many more hits are we going to take before we get off this fuckin' highway. How much more do we have to lose?" I ask softly.
"I know it's hard, but you can't beat yourself up bout things. Won't change nothin'. This is the life we all gotta lead." Daryl says as he inspects my knees.
"I know, I just feel like breaking. I want to shatter, but if I do then who is going to pick me up? I have to stay strong because I have to piece everyone else up and put them back together." I say.
I flinch a bit as Daryl wipes the blood off my knee with a rag from his pocket. He looks at me, unsure what to really say, but it's ok, I'm not expecting him to be my white knight. I lay my head back against the now beat up car. It was getting dark and I knew soon I would have to head back to the RV. Daryl shocks me though, he reaches up and brushes the wild hairs from my face. He leans in and kisses my forehead, I don't know why, I didn't ask. All I knew was he was actually helping me calm down, bringing me some sort of peace. I lock eyes with him, I can't really explain it, but I feel a bit better.
"Why?" I ask.
"Why what?" He says helping me to my feet.
"After the way I treated you, why do you seem to care?" I ask innocently.
"Honestly, I don' know. Jus something about you I like, 'sides, didn't we start over?" He says softly.
"Yeah, we did." I say
Before I know it, I'm actually hugging Daryl. I can feel he's tense, but I felt better when her put an arm around me. I could stay like this for a while, for a moment I felt safe in the arms of Daryl Dixon. I can't explain it, I don't want to explain it right now. Slowly I let go of Daryl and look up at him.
"Thanks Dixon." I say softly.
"Anytime, O'Connor." He says.
I grab the katana from the ground and smile, he kinda smirks back before we head to the RV. I send Abby with T-Dogg and Glenn, I tell her I will catch up with em soon. She makes me promise, and I do, I could never leave her. Daryl says he was going to try and get some sleep, I offer to come up and help Dale keep watch. I follow Daryl into the RV to retrieve my guns. I emerge a few minutes later and climb up to join Dale. I sit down and look around, it was another peaceful night.
"How are you holding up dear?" Dale asks.
"About as good as I can. Just wanna get off this damn highway." I answer.
"I know, it's rough. If you ever need to talk, I am always willing to listen." Dale says.
"Thanks Dale, I'm just afraid if I talk I'll break. Ya know?" I say.
"I know all to well, but sometimes it's ok to break as long as you can pick yourself back up." He says as he pats my shoulder.
"That's the thing, I'm afraid I won't be able to find all the pieces of myself to glue back together." I say running a hand through my hair.
"You have people around you, ones that would help you find all the pieces." He reassures me.
"I know, but all my life I have been the one to keep everything together, to make sure everyone was alright. I was the one to make sure at the end of the day things were ok." I say.
"And who takes care of Murphy?" Dale asks.
"No one..." I say while looking off into the distance.
"You have a chance to change that. Even though I'm not always a fan of his, Daryl seems to have taken a shine to you." Dale says.
"Daryl? He has too much on his shoulders to worry about me." I say.
"I think he would say otherwise." Dale says.
"Maybe, I don't know. I really don't think I want to find out. I have to choke this down and move on, there is no other option." I say.
"That may not be a good idea either." Dale warned softly .
I didn't answer, I just glanced at him. I knew he was right, but right now I had no choice. What was I going to do? Run into Daryl's arms and cry like some vulnerable damsel in distress, not likely. I shake my head pull my knees up to my chest. Dale and I sit in silence for a while, I was grateful he knew that's how I wanted it. Though soon the RV door opens, causing me to look over the side as Dale stands up. It was Daryl, followed by Andrea. Daryl waves his flashlight a bit, looking around.
"I'm coming too." Andrea said.
Daryl nods before looking at Dale and I.
"Imma go for a walk. Shine some light in the forest. If she's out there, it'll give her somethin' to look at." Daryl says
"You think that's a good idea right now?" Dale asks.
"Dale..."Andrea says rolling her eyes.
Daryl and I just watch the odd exchange before he glances up at me.
"Be careful out there, redneck." I say with a smile.
"Ah, yeah yeah yeah, woman." he says back.
I shake my head, I liked how the friendship with Daryl and I was progressing. To be honest, I didn't think I would have much interaction with Daryl, but I was quickly being proven wrong. I smile at Andrea and tell her she better come back safe. She nods as she and Daryl walk off. I look back at Dale who was just shaking his head.
"She still pissed about the CDC?" I ask.
"Yeah, you could say that." He answers.
"I can kind of see her frustration though. With all due respect, you did take away her option Dale." I say.
"I thought I was doing the right thing." He says.
"The road to hell's paved with good intentions. I know you thought you were doing the right thing, but it was her choice to make. I admit, for a split second I was going to take that option. You didn't give Andrea a moment to change her mind." I say.
"I'm sorry..." Dale trailed off.
"I know you want to be like a father to everyone, I know your need to want to take care of everyone, I have it too, but sometimes you just gotta let people make their own choices, whether you believe in them or not." I say.
"I know dear, I know." Dale said.
I smile and rest my chin on my bandaged knees. I was getting tired, but I didn't want to leave Dale on watch by himself. About thirty minutes pass and Carol emerges from the RV. I guess she could see how tired I was as she offers to switch places. I hop down and ask her if she was sure. She nods, tells me to get some rest. She hugs me and thanks me for my concern and for looking for Sophia. I nod and smile before climbing into the RV. I take one side of the small booth and rested my head on my forearms, down on the table. I was kind of shocked how fast sleep hit me, guess I was more tired then I knew.
I didn't know how much time passed, but I was jolted awake by the RV door slamming. I reached for my gun, but see it was only Carol. I watch her go back to the back in tears. I slowly get to my feet, I walk back towards her and kneel down next to her.
"Carol, I know it isn't much, but I'm here for you. I know it's hard, but we're gonna find her." I say placing my hand on her hip.
Carol didn't speak, just gently squeezed my hand for a moment before letting it go. I tell her I'm gonna head back out, but call out to me if she needed anything. She doesn't speak, but I know she heard me. I sigh softly and stand up, making my way out of the RV. As I step out I come face to face with Daryl, I could see the frustration on his face. I step aside, letting him into the RV. I nod towards Andrea and head back inside, I didn't want to be a part of any conversation she had with Dale. I sit down at the small table with Daryl, he sits his bow down on the bench seat next to him. I place my guns on the table and we sit in silence for a moment. I yawn and I could see Daryl was tired as well. I move so my feet were dangling over the side of the seat. I rest my head back against the wall and close my eyes. Soon I feel Daryl move and crack one eye to see him sitting in the same position I was, bow on his lap, with his eyes closed. I sigh and close my eyes back, but rest my hand on top of his as it rests on the table. I knew the worst was yet to come.
A/N- The Katana is my little tribute to Michonne, I love her. Hope you guys are enjoying. ;) I'm intentionally being vague about Abby because she had her own story coming up. It's her POV and relationship with Shane. I love you all and thanks again for adding me to your Favorites & Alerts. I promise more Daryl & Murphy scenes are ahead.