Epilogue,

or…

What Goes Around, Comes Around…

Harry came down to the common room to find Hermione tapping furiously away at her laptop. He shook his head, not really surprised that a smart witch like her figured out a loophole in Hogwarts rules.

"Hermione, have you seen Ron?" Harry sat down in the chair next to her.

Continuing to type she answered, "Yeah, he took my Prefects patrols tonight."

"How much did you have to beg for him to switch with you?"

Hermione paused in her typing and frowned down at the keyboard. "Actually, I didn't ask to switch. He came to me and offered to take my place tonight."

"Really?"

"Really." She looked up at Harry thoughtfully. "Although I did find it difficult to believe he'd want tonight of all nights."

"Why?" Now Harry was frowning.

"Because Malfoy's patrolling, too."

Harry rocketed up out of his chair. "Bloody hell! He's going to kill him!"

"I think you underestimate Ron sometimes," Hermione tsked.

"No! I mean Ron's going to kill Malfoy!"

Hermione cocked her eyebrows at Harry. "Why would he do that? I know Malfoy's a stupid git but…" She noticed her friend's face turning a bright shade of red before he buried it in his hands. "Oh."

"We've got to do something! Quick, call 911!" Harry's voice came muffed behind his hands.

"Harry," the bushy-haired witch reached out and patted his arm. "I'm sure it'll be fine. There are other Prefects and the teachers are always haunting the halls along with the ghosts."

"But…" he peeked his eyes through his fingers to glance at her.

"Here, take your mind off it. Read this and tell me what you think." She tilted the laptop screen in Harry's direction.

Slowly Harry uncovered his face and dropped his arms to his sides. After a moment it looked like he was about to spout off again, but was quickly chastened by the stern look in Hermione's eyes. Sighing, he sank back down in his chair and moved the laptop so he could see the screen better.

"What is this?" he asked, peering at the screen.

"Well, all this talk about fan fiction made me decide to write one of my own," Hermione shrugged. "Come on, tell me what you think."

Harry began reading the screen blazing brightly before him.

"'How I Became Mrs. Justin Timberlake…'" Harry rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose, "Merlin, Hermione, you couldn't pick anyone better?"

"What do you mean, better?" she asked huffily.

"You can't be serious about this guy…He was a Backstreet Boy," Harry pulled a face.

"No, he's not. He was in N'Sync. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with him…" Hermione tried to defend.

"Whatever. All those boy bands are the same anyway. Pathetic," he snorted.

Hermione's face went quite pink as she shook her head and glared at her friend. "Please just read it and tell me if it's at least written well."

Harry sighed heavily. "Okay, but if there's one word about a wardrobe malfunction, I'm stopping."

"Shut up, you prat," she hissed.

"But it's Justin Timberlake, Hermione."

"I said shut up. I have my vices and you, Mr. Potter, obviously have yours," she gave him a pointed look.

Harry just stared at her for a long moment then shrugged. He really couldn't argue with that.

FANFICTIONFUNFANFICTIONFANTASY

Draco Malfoy leaned casually against the wall in an empty and dimly lit corridor, studying his finger nails. Ron glared down the corridor, clenching his fists to his side before he stormed towards the blond boy.

"Malfoy!" Ron snarled darkly. "I've been looking for you!"

Malfoy turned to look at the redhead Gryffindor with a raised eyebrow. A sneer began to form on his face but was soon wiped away to a look of fear as Ron rushed at him. Before the blond had a chance to think, he was grabbed by the robes and thrust back against the wall.

"How dare you touch My Harry!" Ron hissed into Malfoy's face.

"Your Harry? I don't…" the Slytherin was cut off as he was thrust up against the wall again.

"Shut up!" Quickly the redhead glanced both ways in the corridor before he dragged the blond to the nearest door, opened it and pushed him roughly into the darkness.

Ron closed the door behind them and Malfoy had just enough time to register that they were in a broom cupboard before he was pressed against the wall and a tongue was shoved down his throat.

A fire began to spread through the blond from his lips to his toes, yet he struggled a bit to get away from the redhead. This only made Ron kiss him more forcefully. Malfoy couldn't bite back the moan that escaped into the other boy's hot mouth.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Ron released Malfoy's mouth but not before biting the Slytherin's bottom lip. Malfoy gasped as the redhead clamped his teeth on his neck and his robes were being tugged off.

"So do you like this?" Ron growled, snapping at the blonde's earlobe.

"Oh, Merlin, yes…yes…" There was a hard bite to his neck, "I mean no. No. Don't…Ever…" Malfoy gasped, his legs feeling weak. "Stop."

A deep growl came from the back of Ron's throat and Malfoy let out a low moan as his shirt was torn open, the buttons popping off and bouncing to the floor. Then his belt was unbuckled and was whipped out of its loops with such force that he staggered a bit off-balance.

With his hand on the button on Malfoy's trousers, Ron looked up at the blond Slytherin his blue eyes dark and malicious.

"I want to hear you beg, Malfoy."

Ron only had to ask him twice.

RWDMRWDMRWDMRWDM

Over an hour later, a panting, sweating and naked Malfoy slumped against the wall, his legs too weak to stand.

After making sure he was presentable, Ron turned to go.

"If I ever find out you've been bothering Harry again…" he threatened opened-endedly before slamming the door behind him, leaving Malfoy alone in the dark cupboard.

The blond Slytherin leaned against the cold wall trying to ease his breathing and his heart rate back to normal while at the same time trying to collect his thoughts enough to come up with a plan to get Harry alone again.

And to make sure the tall redhead Weasley found out about it.

FIN

A/N: Well, that's it! Hope you all enjoyed it. Remember, it is meant to be a little weird, but in a funny way. Please be kind enough to leave a review, just to let me know if you liked it, hated it or whatever. I do welcome con crit, but not flames.