Chandler pulled the suitcase out of the closet and then he opened his dresser. He was not happy with this at all, but what choice did he have, he couldn't afford to lose this job. Monica offered to go , but he wasn't going to have her give up the biggest coup of her career to cook ribs in Tulsa. Now he was leaving her to go to Oklahoma, for most of the week to run the Tulsa office. Damn no sleep and damn that stupid supervisor.

Monica had told him that Chandler was in the bedroom, so Ross came in. His eyes had dark circles from lack of sleep, but that is what you get when you have a newborn. Hey at least, Rachel could use concealer to cover up her circles.

"You look like crap." Chandler said as he turned to put some socks in the suitcase. "Thanks a lot." Ross snapped. "So you are really going to Tulsa and leaving Mon here?" he asked as he sat on the bed. "Yes , I have got to do what I have to do. If you had to go on some big dinosaur dig , wouldn't you go too?" he asked . "Well yeah, and I don't know what I would do about my children or…" Ross started a thought. "Rachel?" Chandler knew that was probably a thought on his mind right now. Ever since Joey had accidently proposed and then the two of them ended up at the hospital where Ross returned with a black eye and a broken hand, Ross had not been a very content man.

Ross nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, here we are with this beautiful new baby and to the world we are mommy and daddy . At night , we go home and she sleeps in one room and I sleep in another. You know I had this picture, I could always picture me and my wife in bed on Sunday and we would be having coffee, then my kid crawls upon the bed and we all look at the Times and fight over the paper. Rachel has t have the fashion section of course, and my little boy and I fight over the science section." Ross said with a dreamy eyed look.

"You have always wanted a family , haven't you?" Chandler asked . "Yeah, I mean the way that Mon and I were raised , we just always assumed that someday we would both be parents and be married. I never dreamed I would be almost thirty five and divorced with two illegitimate children. I mean I always thought I wouldn't be alone.' He said sadly as his head dropped. "You are so lucky." Ross said with envy.

"Lucky?" Chandler was unsure where this was going. "Yeah I mean , you have someone. You won't be alone."

Things that Chandler had said had started to go through his mind. He remembered when Heckles died how he thought that he would be the one to be the only one with no one. He also remembered the promise he made to Monica when her nephew was born , that they would some day have a baby. Now more than anything , he wanted to be able to give that to her. It pained her so much to watch her best friend taking care of a newborn baby, sometimes he could actually see the tears in her eyes as she would watch Rachel holding Emma and Ross smiling at her. Chandler knew he was ready, and he wanted to be a dad.

Time and time they tried. Monica even got on a plane to go to see him in Tulsa. It was actually quite comical, she came in to see her husband pleasuring himself to angry sharks. The night of their friends birthday, he had come home smelling of smoke and even though she wanted to kill him, they still had sex , all for the good of the baby. One night , Monica knew she was ovulating and Joey had promised Rachel he would watch Emma. Joey had somewhere to go, and then poor Emma had to listen to the sounds of her aunt and uncle as they tried to give her a cousin.

Life was getting worse for Ross as well. He would stand and watch Rachel hold Emma and breast feed her. She had never looked more radiant than she did as a new mother. He was starting to have the old feelings again. He could remember when he would lay on her breasts like Emma did. He would watch her sing to her and rock her to sleep. This was the way that life was supposed to be. Neither of them had voiced any interest in dating anyone else. Ross started to think that they should start to talk about things again. But then fear reared it's ugly head. Ross couldn't stand to lose her again. He would put his heart on the line and then she would destroy him. And maybe this time, they wouldn't make up so fast , and maybe they might even end up hating each other.

Chandler had his own problems. This separation wasn't exactly the best thing in the world. He knew that he couldn 't afford to lose his job right now, especially with the fact that Monica wanted a baby so bad. He would come back to his hotel room, plop down on the couch and look at the picture by the bed next to the Gideon Bible. There she was , those blue eyes and raven colored hair. His Monica. He would lay in his bed and wish he had that petite little body to hug. The best part of the week for him was when he could wrap up his business, pack his bag and then fly back to New York and his life there. He wasn't a Tulsa man, he was a New Yorker. The only problem was when he got home, everyone wanted a piece of him. Joey would want to go to a game, Monica would want to try to make a baby. Rachel couldn't wait to show what new things Emma had done. Chandler had peace in Tulsa , but he truly wasn't happy.

Now it was Christmas, and he was really feeling bad. He had to work on of all nights Christmas Eve. He got in the cab on the way to JFK and started to actually have tears come from his eyes. He didn't want to be in some hotel on Christmas, he could imagine what it would be like this year. There would of course be Monica's holiday cookies and her famous candy that caused so many problems a few years ago. The tree would be decorated flawlessly with perfection. Holiday smells would fill the apartment. Phoebe would be strumming her guitar and singing of her mother's death at this time of year. Joey would look around waiting for Santa and for the first time, there would be a little baby who was experiencing her first Christmas and Hanukkah. Chandler wanted that so bad with Monica. But Christmas was also about family. What was a family? He never really had one, his mother with her books and his father and his lifestyle. He never had a family until he came to New York. He actually never knew what a real family acted like until he spent that first Thanksgiving with the Gellers. That first holiday, that is what he realized what the true meaning of family was. And now almost ten years later, he realized where he needed to be. He dialed the phone……

They all looked out the window forlornly. It just wasn't the same. Monica was the one who was the saddest. She was trying to put on a good front for everyone, but Ross wasn't buying it. He left the side of Rachel and Emma and put his arm around Monica. Monica sighed then let her head drop on his shoulder for comfort.

"You miss him, don't you?" Ross said. She lifted her hand to wipe a tear from her eye. "Yeah." She sobbed. Ross looked into her eyes. "I miss him too." Joey looked like he wanted to cry himself. Rachel felt the pain for her friend. Monica looked over at the table and decided that they would have a happy day despite the fact their friend was missing.

"Merry Christmas!" he said as he pulled his suitcase through the door. Monica ran from her brother and ran into his arms. Chandler lifted her up and gave her the biggest kiss he could." I gave you the best present I could, Me!" he smiled to her. Joey ran and threw his arms around Chandler. "You 're home, my buddy is home." Ben ran to his side and smiled. "My Chrismas wish came true. I saw how sad Aunt Monica was , so I told Santa that I wanted him to bring you home so she wouldn't cry. " In a child like way, Joey jumped up and down, "That was my wish too." Ross shook the Chandler's hand and then hugged him. "Merry Christmas , bro." he smiled. "And a happy Hanukkah to you, bro." Chandler responded. Chandler watched him walk over to see if Rachel was alright and if he could do anything for Emma. He had a feeling everything was going to be alright.