A/N- You guys ready for this! Not much to say, sorry for the delays. But you guys ready to jump in?
It was still really early in the morning when I was jolted awake. I look around, Daryl hadn't moved, he still slept burrowed down in the blankets against me. I look over my shoulder too see Abby standing there. I groan and rub my eyes, I was a bit dazed still. I slowly move from under Daryl's arm and stand up, my mind was now kicking into panic mode. What was wrong? Why was Abby waking me up at this ungodly hour?
"What is it Abbz? What's wrong?" I ask.
"You just gotta come see this." She says in a hurry.
"What? Why? Can't it wait till morning?" I say slipping my shoes on.
"No, it can't, now come on." She says dragging me along.
I glance back at Daryl before Abby drags me out the door. The house was dark, so it was a bit of a maze to get outside. Once outside, Abby drags me towards the camp. I tell her to slow down, but she doesn't listen. Something must have her spooked. Walkers enter my mind, but then most of the camp would be up. I go to complain, but stop as we reach the picnic table. My worst nightmare was sitting in front of me...Toby. He was being doctored by Carol, his hair was wet, with what I'm assuming was blood. His clothes were torn and he looked worse for wear. I stand shocked as Abby mumbles "see." There was the other fucking shoe dropping. I knew it was coming, why was I shocked? I know I looked stupid just standing there, but what else was I suppose to do? Run over to him and thank God he was alive? Declare my love for him and apologize for leaving him? I wouldn't, I couldn't.
"See, this couldn't wait. Rick and I saw him stumbling in the field." Abby says.
"Of course he was." I say.
I glance back towards the house and run a hand through my hair. Just fucking great, this was perfect. I stay silent for a few moments longer as Rick approaches me. I guess he could see the look on my face wasn't pleasant, because he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Abby said you guys know him." Rick said.
"Yeah, I wish I didn't." I say softly. "Can we go somewhere and talk? Please?" I ask.
Rick nods, I was grateful Toby was kind of out of it and didn't recognize me. I knew though, when he did, all hell was going to break loose. I walk with Rick into the RV to see Dale sitting at the small table. Rick motions for me to sit down as he leans against the counter. Guess it was time to spill my guts to the Rick.
"So, I'm sure you wanna know who he is and how I know him." I say.
"That would help." Rick said.
I gather my strength, I take my mind to a happy place. I wasn't in the RV, no, I was back in the tent with Daryl. His arms protecting me, his warm break against my shoulder as I told him my story. This was the only way I was going to get through this without breaking down. I exhale softly as I begin, I can feel Dale pat my hand.
"He's my ex boyfriend, he use to beat me. He would get so pissed at me and one day I started hitting him back. We would have these bloody, violent fights, at least four times a week." I sigh. "He mentally abused me, told me I was good for nothing. I was his property and no one would ever want me. He made me feel worthless and ashamed." I look up at Rick, the pain was clear in my eyes. "Told me it was my fault he raped me, told me he gave me what I deserved. I um...I left him in Atlanta to fend for himself." I say running a hand through my hair. "Before you chalk me up as heartless, I had to leave. Leaving with John, Linda, Josh, James and Abby was my escape. I was finally free. I was free of the physical abuse, free of the mental abuse, free of everything that was holding me down. I left him weapons, food and locked the door. Three things he wouldn't have done for me. I'm not a heartless bitch Rick, I just did what I had to do...I" I was cut off by Rick squatting in front of me.
"Murph, it's ok. I understand. You don't have to justify yourself to me, you did what you had to do. You made a choice you thought was right." He says in a comforting tone.
"I just...now what. What am I suppose to do with my past being dumped right in my damn lap." I say.
Dale and Rick both share a look, I knew what they were thinking. It wasn't so much the rest of the group as it was Daryl I had to deal with. I lay my head back against the wall and groan. Dale looks at me and pats my hand once more as he speaks.
"We'll figure something out. The bigger problem is what to tell Daryl?" Dale says.
"I know, I'll deal with Daryl. But I can't leave Toby to fend for himself again, I mean there has to be a reason he showed up. Maybe a sign from God?" I say.
"I really don't know Murph, but I'll let you make the call. Just don't forget you have us to watch your back. You're not alone anymore." Rick assures me.
"Thanks." I say.
Slowly I stand up, getting ready to face my worst fucking nightmare. I had so many around me, yet I felt like I was walking into hell all alone. Dale gives me a reassuring nod and Rick begins to walk outside with me. I slowly head for the picnic table Toby sat it. Oh joy, he looked like he was feeling a bit better. I sit across from him and stare as Rick motions for Carol to give us a moment. Abby and Shane watch from a distance, I can see Abby's finger on the trigger of a shot gun. Toby looks me over, I could see it in his eyes, he was about to lay into me. I braced myself, ready for an attack.
"Well, well, well lookie what we got here." He says with a smirk.
"Still alive I see, how unfortunate." I say sarcastically.
"Nows that any way to be talking to your boyfriend? Thought you'd be happy to see me." He smirks. "Abby already gave me a warm welcome." He says looking towards Abby.
Shane puts his arm around Abby's shoulder and glares at Toby. Toby just shakes his head, looking back at me.
"Looks like you got a nice little set up here, you play the sweet innocent role so well. That bitch who stitched me up couldn't stop praising you. Boy, you got em fooled." He says.
"Fuck you, asshole." I say.
"Ah, maybe later, after I get settled in." He says smugly.
"Settled in? Did you hit your head harder than you thought? You're not staying." I say.
"Oh, on the contrary, I am. See, you owe me for leaving me in that fucking apartment to rot. Imagine my surprise when I woke up, TV blaring something about an outbreak and to evacuate. I pack up and head to the gun range, only to be told by other survivors my whore girlfriend and her little band of morons packed up and left." He says as he glares.
"Please, you would of done the same fuckin' thing to me. You only went to the shop for ammo, you were gonna to leave me to die." I snap.
Toby just laughs, I glance towards Shane as I see him approaching. Shane had been a bit of a wild card as of late, so instantly I tense up. Abby comes over and places her hands on my shoulder as Shane stands next to Toby.
"So, Toby, I guess you could say I'm the welcome wagon round this camp." Shane says placing a rough hand on Toby's shoulder. "Now, you look like a fine upstanding gentleman. So what I'm gonna need you to do, is hand over than gun and knife of yours and not cause any trouble." Shane says as he squeezes Toby's shoulder.
Toby shocked me, I thought he was going to put up a fight, but he surrender his weapons to Shane. Maybe it was the "don't fuck with me or I'll slice you open and feed you to the walkers" vibe Shane was giving off with his crazy stare. Shane hands the weapons off to Rick and then looks at me.
"Murph, why don't you head back inside. Let me and Toby here get better acquainted." He says.
I wanted to protest, but something told me not to, something told me to go. I was going to have a problem on my hands when Daryl woke up and saw Toby. I sigh softly and get up. I silently walk towards the house, slowly make my way back up the stairs. My mind was busy, trying to figure out how to defuse this situation before it exploded and left no one standing. I slowly creep back into the room, I felt stupid, but I knew I had to contain the time bomb that could be Daryl Dixon. I slowly close the door behind me and turn to meet blue eyes.
"Hey..." I whisper.
"Hey yourself." He whispers back.
I slip out of my shoes and walk around, climbing back into bed. My mind was still going a mile a minute, my stomach was starting to hurt. Some may say I was freaking out for nothing, but I disagree. I turn on my side to face Daryl as he rolls from his back to his good side.
"Where'd ya go?" He asked resting his hand on my hip.
"Abby, she needed me. Girl stuff, ya know how we chicks are." I lied.
Daryl gives me a sleepy grin, I kiss his forehead and whisper for him to rest. I felt my heart break when he reassumed his earlier position, burrowed down in the blankets, forehead pressed against my chest and his arm around me. I just told Daryl my first lie, I hoped that this lie wouldn't lead to a crack in the foundation we've built. I lower my head, gently burying my nose in Daryl's hair and inhale his scent. I close my eyes, enjoying the silence, enjoying the fact for these moments I was in bed with a man I was starting to love. I knew come sunrise, that may all change. I silently pray to God as I lay there. Please give me a sign, let this all work out.
Soon the sun rose and before I knew it, it was time to get the day started. Daryl said he wanted to come outside, he didn't want to stay locked up in the room. I didn't blame him, but of course that put me on high alert. I peeked out the bedroom window and figured Toby must still be asleep somewhere, I figured that as I saw everyone but him. I turn back to the bed to see Daryl standing up slowly. I sigh and bite my lip as he walks towards me. I pick up the shirt Abby had brought him yesterday and hand it to him. He slowly slips it on, but leaves it unbuttoned. He was so sweet, so innocent looking right now, I couldn't help but smile. I watch him stuff his feet into his boots before turning towards me.
He pulls me towards him and kisses the top of my head. I felt like a total bitch right now. The man fell down a cliff, impaled himself with an arrow, almost died and now his girlfriend was lying to him. I look up into those blue eyes of his and I couldn't help but cry. He lifts his hand and brushes the tears away, his eyes held concern and that made the tears fall faster.
"What I tell ya bout cryin'?" He asked.
"Not to, but there's something you don't know." I say.
I look up at him, he just stared at me. I knew he was waiting for what came next. I sniffle and shake my head, this was hard. I honestly didn't know how he would react, but I knew it wasn't going to be good. Daryl brushes away a few more tears with his thumb as I speak.
"Last night, Abby...when she came to get me...I lied about why she needed me." I say.
I admit, I braced myself for a strike, out of reflex, but Daryl just continued to stare at me.
"She came to get me because...because Toby...they found him wondering in the field." I say looking away from Daryl.
"He a walker?" He asks stiffly.
"No..." I say softly.
I felt the tension rising, I didn't want to look at Daryl, I knew he was glaring at me.
"Where's he now?" He asked.
"I don't know, I left him with Shane last night." I say.
"So, I'm guessin' everyone knew but me, right?" He asked stepping way from me.
"It's not like that." I say.
"Bullshit, everyone knew, but me. What, didn' think I could handle it?" Daryl snapped.
"No, I just didn't want to upset you." I say finally looking at him.
"Oh, cause lying to me wouldn' upset me at all. Right?" He almost yelled.
"I didn't say it wouldn't, but I didn't want you to hurt yourself." I growled back.
"I'm a grown man, I think I could of handled it. You don' have to fuckin' baby me." He growls.
"I thought I was doing the right thing!" I snap back in a louder tone.
"Again, doing the right thing, in your book, is lyin'?" He asked. "The asshole that raped and beat you just happens to stumble back into your life and you lie about it? What the hell, Murphy?" He added.
"I don't know, I just...I don't...I just don't fuckin' know Daryl. My mind was more on making sure you didn't hurt yourself." I say turning away from Daryl.
"Well come find me when you do know and are tired of protectin' an abusive, rapist bastard. Since that's what you're really doin'" Daryl snapped.
That was the end, he stormed out the door. I knew better than to follow him. I wrapped my arms around my waist and sighed as I looked out the window. I knew it was wrong to lie, but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. I watch Daryl stomp towards his tent, disappearing inside. What was I going to do? I knew he needed time to cool off. I shake my head and walk out of the room, heading outside. I wanted to change my clothes and maybe even figure out what I was going to do.
I walk past Lori and Carol, they had seen Daryl storm off so I guess they figured to let me be as well. I walk into my tent only to get a surprise. There laid Toby sleeping in mine and Abby's make shift bed. I growled, kicking him in the leg, causing him to jump up. I was looking to let my frustration out and he was my target.
"Get the fuck out of my tent!" I yelled.
"What the hell, you crazy fucking bitch!" Toby yells as he jumps up.
"I said, get the fuck out of my tent. You got no business layin' up like you own it!" I yell.
"Who the hell you think you talkin' too little girl?" He asked.
"I don't see any other worthless assholes round here, cept you. So get to steppin." I say.
Toby takes a swing at me, but I nail him in the stomach. I push him towards the door and take a swing. He grabs me and we tumble outside to the ground. He manages to slap me across the face and I knee him between the legs. We wrestle on the ground until I hear something click. I look up to see Daryl pointing his bow to the back of Toby's head.
"You got one second and then I put an arrow in yer head." Daryl growls.
Toby reluctantly gets up and turns towards Daryl, I'm pulled to my feet by Abby and Andrea. I brush myself off and look towards Daryl.
"This is between me and that bitch, back off." Toby yells.
"Last I checked, she wasn' no one's bitch." Daryl growled.
"Ah, that's where you're wrong. She is always been mine." Toby says with a cocky smirk.
Daryl growls, thrusting his bow forward, knocking Toby back, before pointing it at his forehead. Toby laughs, but stops just as quick as he saw Daryl was serious. He looks over his shoulder at me and then back at Daryl who stands his ground.
"So you're gonna protect this bitch. She got you fooled into doing her dirty work." He says.
"Shut up!" Daryl yells. "I'll end you right here, right now." He threatens.
I don't know why I did it, but I stepped between Daryl's bow and Toby.
"Move." Daryl said.
"No, I can't." I say.
Daryl looks at me confused and lowers his bow. I could tell his anger was close to boiling over. He steps closer to me and locks eyes.
"That's how you want it Murph? You gonna protect that son of a bitch?" He growled.
"No, I just can't let you kill him." I say looking down.
"This is bullshit." Daryl said.
Before I knew it, Shane and Rick were dragging Toby off for a talk. Abby, Carol, Lori and Andrea were all staring and Daryl was walking away. I guess I let the anger get the best of me, because I started yelling.
"Fine! Walk away Dixon, you seem to be real good at that!" I yell.
"Fuck you, O'Connor!" Daryl yelled over his shoulder.
"YOU ALREADY DID THAT! TWICE!" I scream.
"Yeah, clearly it was a mistake!" He shot back.
I was stunned, did he really just say that? I run into the field after him still yelling.
"Yeah maybe it was, cause you're a stupid redneck!" I yell.
"What the fuck?" He says turning around. "We're back to this?" He adds.
"You're the one actin' stupid!" I yell and point at him.
"Me? I'm not protectin' some bastard that used me as a sex toy and a punchin' bag." Daryl said.
"I wish you understood." I say.
"Well then make me understand!" Daryl yelled.
"If you kill him, that makes you no better than him! You kill him without a reason, it'll be on your conscious. You really want that?" I ask.
"I have a fuckin' reason Murphy! I have a fuckin' reason to put a arrow in his head!" Daryl says.
"Really? Why? So you and him can play who's dick's bigger?" I growl.
Daryl rolls his eyes and laughs sarcastically. He goes to walk away, but I shove him. I don't know what came over me, I was trying to provoke Daryl, maybe I wanted to see how far I could push him. Daryl ignores me for a bit, but I push him again. I yell and tell him to answer me. We walk farther into the field, around the farmhouse, away from everyone. We were alone for the moment, which only made me scream louder.
"What, cat got your tongue?" I mock.
I shove Daryl once more, he turns around, drops his bow and grabs me. He pushes me up against the house and pins my hands above my head. I squirm, trying to get away from him, but clearly he was stronger then me. He just stares at me until I stop struggling.
"LET ME GO, ASSHOLE!" I yell.
"Not till you calm the fuck down." He growls at me.
"Why? So you can fucking go and call me a liar and imply I want anything to do with that no good piece of shit?" I snap.
"Ya could of fooled me." He says, continuing to pin me against the house.
"Why? Because I don't want you to sink to his level? Because I love you and don't want THAT on your conscience?" I say.
I stop, did I just say I loved Daryl? That can't be right. It's only been a few weeks right? Ugh, I was still angry, hurt, sad. I stare at him, his grip didn't loosen, but I could see in his eyes, he was calming down.
"Was it a mistake? Do you regret me?" I whisper, my voice becoming hoarse from screaming.
"No..." He says softly. "I don' regret nothin' with ya. Yer the fuckin' reason I wanna put a arrow in his head. Puttin' his hands on ya is the reason he deserves his ass stomped." He whispers as he finally lets my hands go.
I don't know what came over me, before I knew it my arms were around Daryl's neck and I was kissing him. He was pressing me up against the house kissing me back, biting at my lips. Everything with him and I seemed so intense. It was either rough love making or apparently vicious venomous fighting, but on the bright side, both things were filled with passion. Daryl's lips move to my neck as he hooks my left leg around his right hip. It continues for a moment, Daryl kissing my neck, me gripping his hair. I knew we had to stop, he wasn't in any shape for this. A moan of "Daryl...stop" comes from my lips, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.
"Daryl, you gotta...stop. We need to...we need to stop." I whisper.
Daryl didn't answer, he just switches sides of my neck. He was making this so very hard. I groan again and buck my hips against him.
"Your stitches...you need to heal...can't do this here." I moan in his ear.
I needed him to stop, didn't want him to stop, but he had too. Moments pass and Daryl finally pulls away. He looks at me, my lips were a bit swollen from him nipping at them. I was flustered, he was too. He keeps my leg hooked around his hip, my arms still around his neck as he stares at me.
"You mean it?" He asked.
"Mean what?" I say.
"You said ya loved me. No one's ever really said that to me." He says, almost a bit afraid I was gonna say no.
"Yeah, I meant it Dixon. Even though I tried to resist, I'm head over heels in love with Daryl Fuckin' Dixon." I whisper softly.
"I think I might love you too. Never really felt this way bout nobody." He says.
"Me either..." I say.
He kissed me again, oh God, he's going to be the death of me. The kiss lingers, I nip at his lips, he scrapes his teeth against my bottom lip as he gently pulls it into his mouth. I growl softly, he growls right back, almost possessively. Of course I could protest, but was belonging to Daryl Dixon, really a bad thing? Of course when he's pinning you to the side of a house, you can't really argue. After a few moments Daryl pulls away. His lips were puffy, mine were swollen and you could tell what I had been up too. I lean forward and press my forehead against Daryl's shoulder, catching my breath.
"I'm sorry..." I say softly.
"It's ok, I'm sorry for what I said." He whispered, pressing his lips against my shoulder.
"I just don't want you to have Toby on your conscience. It's not fair to you, this is my battle." I say.
"Our battle. Wasn' it you who told me I'm not alone?" He inquired.
"Yeah..." I answer.
"Then why are you tryin' to push me away? I don' know, isn' that what people are suppose to do?" He asked.
"Yeah, but I'm not worth a guilty conscience." I say.
Daryl lifts his head, causing me to lift mine. I look at him, I could see his eyes were curious, like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how. I admit, it shocked me to see how much he cared, how he seemed to think so highly of me. I never had that before, I was made to believe I wasn't worth that kind of dedication.
"Why do you care so much?" I ask.
"Cause, ya don' talk down to me. Ya don' look at me and see a stupid redneck, least now ya don't. Ya don' try and change me, you accept who and what I am. I don' know, just somethin' I like about you, Murph." He says. "Could ask the same thing bout you." He added.
"Because you care, you're everything I ever wanted in a guy. You're smart, funny and you don't put up with my bullshit. I have to respect that." I say.
"You really want that jackass to stay?" He asks.
"No, but if I send him out into the world again, then that's on my conscience. I know it's a lot to ask, but please, trust me?" I ask, placing my hands on Daryl's cheeks.
Daryl looks at me, I could tell he was thinking hard.
"It's not you I don' trust, it's him. He steps outta line, I stomp his ass, no questions." He says. "Yer my girl and no ass backwards sum bitch is gonna change that." He adds.
I smirk and kiss his cheek. I wrap my arms around him and bring my lips to his ear.
"I promise, no questions asked." I say sweetly. "But does that mean I'm all yours?" I ask.
"Isn't that what I just said, woman?" He asks.
"Yeah, but I like hearing you say it." I say innocently.
I wrap my arms back around Daryl's neck and smirk. Daryl leans forward, bringing his lips to my ear, growling more than really whispering.
"Well in that case, yer mine, always will be. You belong to me, no one else." He says.
I smirk and lick my lips. I lay my head back against the house and sigh. Of course I guess Daryl decided he wasn't done and leans down kissing my throat, my chest and then kisses my cleavage that was peeking out.
"Stop, you don't play fair." I whine.
"Course I do. Not playin' fair would be..." He stops only to hook my leg around his waist again and press against me. "Telling you I wanna have my way with you, right here, right now." He says.
"Are all our fights going to end like this?" I ask as I look at him.
"If they do, then I'm not against startin' another fight." He says.
"Later." I whine softly.
Daryl lets me go slowly and we both fix our clothes. I knew we had to head back and check on Toby, deal with the situation. I feel Daryl kiss the top of my head as he moves behind me after grabbing his bow.
"Let's go deal with this." He says.
I nod and we slowly make our way back towards the camp. I felt stronger, felt like I had control of this situation. As we approach I see Toby sitting at the table, Rick standing behind him and Shane sitting on the table. Shane and Rick look towards Daryl and I, I knew they wanted to talk. I run my hand through my hair as Rick speaks.
"Murph, it's your call. If he stays, he has to abide by the rules Shane and I laid down." He says.
"No weapons, no stirrin up shit, no putting his hands on anyone in this camp." Shane added.
"This is bullshit, you pricks need to but out of my business. I got unfinished business with that bitch right there." Toby growls as he points at me.
"Call her a bitch one more time, I dare ya." Daryl said as he gripped his bow.
"What? She sucking you off? That's why you lettin' her cut off your balls?" Toby mocks.
"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up. You need to see I'm doin' you a fuckin' favor. Shane and Daryl want you gone. I could let them toss you out on the highway somewhere, let you fend for yourself AGAIN. You shut the fuck up and abide by our rules. GOT IT?" I yell.
Toby just laughs, but a rough nudge from Shane stops him.
"Yeah, whatever." He says. "Guess we're roommates." He says winking at me.
"The hell you are!" Daryl growled.
"Abby can bunk with me, Murph you bunk with Daryl. Let this asshole use your tent. Sound ok?" Shane asks looking at me.
"Yeah, I'll get my stuff." I say.
Toby just laughs and shakes his head, I glare at him before turning heel and walking towards my tent. I admit, I was shocked to see Abby sitting there, having already packed up our stuff leaving a blanket and one pillow.
"I figured it would happen, just helping out." She says.
"Thanks, I should of known this was going to happen. I mean things were going so well and you know in my life, nothing ever fucking goes smoothly." I say.
"I know Murph, trust me, I know. We'll get through this, these people...they're our family now. We all stick together and if that fuck tard out there thinks he can screw with it, he's got another thing coming." She says.
"Yeah, he does." I say slinging my duffel bag over my shoulder, grabbing my pillows and blanket.
"Besides, you get to bunk with Daryl. That's a win/win situation." She teases.
"Shut up, Abby." I laugh.
"Just sayin' my sweet." She says picking up her stuff.
She and I head out. I trudge over to Daryl's tent, and put my stuff down. I sigh and look around, it really was a win/win situation. I hear Daryl come in behind me, sitting his bow by the door.
"I guess I should say, make yourself at home." He says.
"I promise not to take up much room." I say smiling softly.
"Woman, do we really need to have this talk?" He jokes.
"No, just don't wanna be trouble." I say.
Daryl just looks at me, I shake my head and smile. He holds his side and moves to lay down, I knew his side had to be killing him. I go to help him, but stop, what he said early still kinda stuck with me.
"Sorry..." I say.
"For what?" He asks.
"Babying you." I awnser.
"It's ok, jus' still new to me is all." He says.
"Would I be able to interest you in a mid morning nap? You need your rest." I say.
"I can't change yer mind can I?" He asks.
"You can try, but my mind is made up Dixon." I say.
"Well in that case, how's about you come a little closer. You know, jus incase of an emergency and all." He smirks.
I laugh, moving closer, resting my head next to Daryl's. I had an ulterior motive. Yeah, I wanted Daryl to get his rest, but I also wanted to forget about Toby for a few hours. Daryl and I were enjoying the silence, ignoring the voices outside our tent. I close my eyes and roll over on my side. I gently stroke Daryl's cheek and kiss his forehead. For these moments, it was only Daryl and I.
A/N- So far so good? I see Daryl being possessive if something he feels is his is threatened. I have loved writing this, I work on it almost every night before bed. You guys favoring it, alerting it and reviewing it makes me only wanna write more. So thank you all for inspiring me to write more.