Chapter Nine – Home Can Be A Healer

Kuon nervously looked up at the slightly big house, well it would be considered very big for Japanese standards in the middle of Tokyo. He could see that there was a small bridge to the house which made it almost like a garden out of a fairy tale. He looked down at the river that ran underneath in and then observed the different rocks. He sighed as he looked over at his father. Yes, there were some nice trees and plants but this was nothing compared to their home in the US.

"I thought that it might be nice to have some koi in the river…well, unless you'd prefer to have a cat. I don't think those two would mix very well," Kuu chuckled and Kuon looked over towards him. He took a deep breath in before seeing the way his dad was trying to gauge his reactions.

Kuon smiled weakly but that small act made his head hurt and as much as he wanted to hide the pain, he knew that his dad had seen him. Kuu walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's going to get worse," he said and Kuon stared at him and flinched. "I know that it's going to feel bad, whenever you go off a medication it always does but that's why you need to be on a stable dosage of the right medication."

Kuon bit his top lip and looked to the side. He had wanted to not dwell on this fact but it seemed that the conversation was already happening. "Dad," he said nervously, "I didn't want for you to know. I mean, I thought that I could cure this by myself but you don't have to treat me with any special - caution or anything. I'm going to be okay."

Kuu sighed before looking into the river below the bridge. "Kuon, you can tell nearly every single other person to leave you alone and I'll respect that you said that to them. I know that you have your own life and you want to make choices and when you're sixteen, I'll definitely allow you to have more input in it but you're a kid. I just want you to enjoy being a kid."

Kuon went to the front door and looked up to where there was an old bell as a wind chime. There was also stones at his feet and the house had a luxurious but traditional feel to it. Kuon looked at his father and sighed, "Dad, the reason for taking those medicines is because something is wrong with me. It just feels that the depression is…should a fourteen year old have depression?"

"It's fairly common," Kuu said before taking out the key to the house. "Look, there's nothing abnormal about you. We're just trying to do what is best for you and I've heard that the house has been updated with a modern feel to it, a Western feel. I wanted to buy a place where you wouldn't have to sleep in the same room as me and your mother on futons."

Kuu chuckled as he saw Kuon's reaction, he watched as the color had drawn from Kuon's face and his eyes had widened at even the concept of that more traditional way of life. Kuon was going to have his own independence but they weren't going to border into what might be considered creepy to an American teenager who wasn't used to traditional Japanese culture.

"So…you're really thinking of just moving here?" Kuon asked. "You and Mom?"

"Well that is the idea that we prefer," Kuu told him. "I might go into directing or teaching or even something new like screenwriting or photography," he said and Kuon stared at him. He shifted awkwardly. His father loved acting. To hear that his dad wouldn't even allow LME to use him as an actor, wasn't that giving up too much for his sake? "You know, new ideas, new adventures."

"Dad, you love being an actor," Kuon tried to stress again. He looked down guiltily.

"And I love my family more," Kuu said. Kuon looked away nervously. He had been through such pain in his life and now his father was giving up on his lifelong dream all for his sake. There had to be a way for the two of them to act in the same country. Kuon stared at him.

"Please…act," he whispered and Kuu inhaled before looking back to his son.

"Kuon maybe I'm not acting for my own sake as well. I have my reasons and they don't all have you in them but you are in every part of my life or decision that I make. Maybe this is going to be good for all of us," he said and Kuon frowned. "Besides, in America there are more people who will hire you because you're my son than in Japan. In this country, whether or not you are my son, you'll have to prove yourself."

Kuon nodded as he took a few more steps into the house and saw that it truly did have a Western feel to it. He could imagine being here but he just didn't want to be an imposition on his parents. "The fees for the umm… LME acting classes are pretty expensive, though, right?" he asked and Kuu grinned. He walked over to Kuon and ruffled his hair in a playful way.

"So, that's a yes?" he asked as Kuon laughed and tried to sort his hair out.

"Did you have to ruffle it so much? I look like I really was in an asylum," Kuon said and saw Kuu's expression soften as he looked at his little boy with so much love for him. It had been a while since he had heard Kuon laugh like that and Kuu knew he wanted to do what was best for his son. What was best would never be to just send him away. He had to take an active part in his son's life. There must have been dozens of families in the acting world where the child outperformed the parent and although he would fight to keep his acting fame, he did want Kuon to one day become more popular and more talented than him.

"You do sound like me when you say that," Kuu winked. "Did you see that this place has an amazing kitchen. I can cook us so-"

Kuu turned to look at Kuon's face which once again had had all the color drained from it. Kuon laughed weakly as he put a hand to his chest. "Not feeling so good?" he asked before sighing. "We have to eat though. Did you want me to go out and buy something?" he asked and Kuon looked around the house.

"What about if I look around some more and you can go buy some food," Kuon suggested but saw the way that Kuu was just staring at him. Kuon had to admit that he couldn't deny that there was a deserved lack of trust there. He hadn't been thinking about medicine or death when he had made that plan but he could see the unease in his father's face especially Kuu's problem of whether to vocalize this lack of trust or not.

"Or…we could go look for something together?" Kuon suggested and Kuu nodded, still remaining silent. Kuon walked back outside to put his shoes on. It would take some time to build up that trust but he knew that it was worth trying to do so. He didn't want to fail his dad and he hoped that his dad was right, maybe moving to Japan was what might be best for their whole family.

5.9.2

Kuon stood by the shopping cart as Kuu got checked out. The whole store was staring at the famous actor who was just doing such a commonplace thing as buying groceries. Kuon felt his chest tighten slightly as he noticed all the people staring at him and gossiping and the name Shuuhei Hozu being said over and over again.

Kuu sighed and looked forward at the girl who was ringing up his groceries. "Is today a busy night?" he asked and the girl blushed. Kuu struggled to smile as his eyes went over to Kuon who seemed to not be taking this surge in fame well. When they were in America, Caifornia, they were surrounded by many people who were also celebrities and Kuu may have been seen as a great actor and action star but different people had different preferences, there was an unspoken rule about how to act.

People in this particular grocery store had seemed to forget that and were just looking at the exclusive Shuuhei Hozu. They should have gotten a couple of security guys maybe. As Kuu paid, Kuon took three of the five bags in his arms. "Have you got them okay?" Kuu asked as he looked to his son and the girl who was helping them looked at him.

"I can help - I can help you bring them to the car, I'd love to help and you bought so much, you must be enterta-"

"It's for his meal," Kuon said frankly and Kuu chuckled. As Kuu slipped his credit card back into his wallet, he took the two other bags.

"We're fine. Thanks for your help though. Have a good night," he placed a hand on Kuon's back. "You sure you don't want me to take one of those for you?" he asked and Kuon rolled his eyes as he tried to ignore the people watching him. He had gotten used to this in America. He was the son of two famous people, he knew that he was just seen as an accessory for them and not someone with that much importance of his own. He would have to get used to that again.

"Thanks for taking most of them," Kuu said again as they got to the car and Kuu opened the back so they could put the ingredients in. Kuon bowed his head and sighed.

"Maybe after we move, you can come get the groceries sometimes," Kuu suggested. "I'll have to look up when you're allowed to get your driver's license over here. I uh…didn't really listen to the regulations when I was growing up," he said and Kuon looked away.

"Eighteen," he said and Kuu's smile dropped a little.

"But I think you can get a bike at sixteen and as long as you have the proper safety equipment, we can look into getting you a bike when you're sixteen," he said trying to be encouraging.

"Are you bringing your guns over here?" Kuon asked and Kuu was the one to turn completely white right now, his eyes widened in horror and his body started shaking as he looked at Kuon. "You do know they're illegal in Japan."

"No. I wasn't planning to," Kuu said as he imagined Kuon shooting himself right in that parking lot. He felt sick and suddenly his appetite had nearly disappeared. His breathing was rough and Kuon was scared he might break in front of him. Yes, he would really have to work on earning his dad's trust back.

End of Part Five – Chapter Nine

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