Chapter Ten – Hopeful Wishes

5.10.1

Kuon sat in what would be his new bedroom. There wasn't much to see about it, the furnishings weren't particularly to his taste but it was good enough for that moment. He had brought with him some CDs and a Gameboy with some games. Still, the thing that interested him most about this room right now was the girl in the middle of it.

"So you're going to be living here!?" Kyoko asked excitedly and Kuon laughed. She was quite impressive and very cute. He just hoped that he wouldn't disappoint her again. "That's so great," she said and Kuon nodded. "I'll be able to come see you."

"Well, I have school and stuff," Kuon shrugged, "and then there are all the interesting things that you're doing, like your fashion and playing music and that sort of thing. I also am going to be taking classes at LME for acting."

"That's so great," Kyoko grinned, "Kanae-chan does that. She says that you have to work hard and dedicate yourself to your craft. I wonder if I should be an actor too," she laughed and Kuon stared at her and hummed.

"You could do it, I think that you'd be great at it," he told her but Kyoko looked away nervously and laughed, she nodded weakly.

"Ma-Maybe," she replied and Kuon stared at her for a while before seeing her shake her head. "No. No. I'm much better at watching but I'll support you as much as I can." Kyoko twitched a little and Kuon tilted his head to the side, curious about what had caused this change in her behavior. Kyoko laughed a little weakly.

"Are you taking the medicine still?" she asked and Kuon's eyes widened. Kyoko was always beyond respectful and he hadn't expected for her to say something like that. He hesitated. Didn't she understand how uncomfortable a discussion subject this was? "Dad wouldn't tell me about it but I wanted to make sure that you were getting help."

"Can we not talk about this any longer?" Kuon asked. He went to look outside the window at the garden and Kyoko followed him.

"I just really want you to be happy," Kyoko said honestly and Kuon laughed at that. "No, really. If the pills are helping you then I want for you to have them. I don't like it when you're sad."

"My dad doesn't want me taking them any longer. I don't think they were doing that much to help me. I thought maybe they would but I have to accept the fact that sometimes I'll be sad," Kuon said and Kyoko frowned. She shook her head not wanting to accept that Kuon was just saying he expected to be unhappy.

"Can I throw you a housewarming party?" she asked and Kuon laughed at that. He went to sit down on the bed again.

"Sure, what were you thinking? Unicorns?" he asked and Kyoko looked around the room before she crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "Fairies and unicorns?" Kuon guessed and Kyoko rolled her eyes.

"No. That wouldn't be okay. We can't have that kind of a party for you and your family," she commented before looking around. "Something about movies, adventure, sports…maybe…nature."

"Something like that seems more like me," Kuon said before humming. He looked at the floor as he tried to control his emotions. The world still seemed to be beating down on him and as much as he wanted to protest that, he couldn't think that he was just going to get better. Mental health was even harder to treat in Japanese society but at least the culture didn't let it show as much. He just had to be a cog in the system and work on mastering his craft.

"So, what's your biggest dream, we need to tie it to the dream tree," Kyoko said before pointing to a large tree in the front yard. Kuon looked between Kyoko and the tree for a couple of minutes and saw her eyes bright and sparkling and noticed how strong her energy was. "That looks like the dream tree to me!" she announced.

"I...how about we write down your dream?" Kuon asked and Kyoko shook her head.

"It's not my tree though. That's your special dream tree and there must be something that you want. Maybe something small or maybe something big. I think the fairies from the tree want to help you with any dreams that you might have. All you have to do is write it down on paper and tie it to the tree."

Kuon looked at her for a moment with a half smile. He knew what she was talking about but he didn't want to do it. Having dreams, even ones you never truly expected to happen was a dangerous thing. Hope was one of the most painful things that a person could lose and having dreams and expectations about the future was that.

"I'll think about it," he told her and Kyoko eyed him suspiciously before nodding. "How about we do something else? I think there are cookies downstairs, some kind of cookies or cakes or something," he said and Kyoko nodded. He had the suspicion that talking about this dream tree was more of a priority to her than indulging in sweet treats but he didn't want to think about hope or the future.

Surviving one day at a time was hard enough.

5-10.2

"I'm really trying my hardest," Kuu said to Lory as they sat out on the front porch near the same tree that Kyoko and Kuon had been looking at. Kuu leaned forwards and placed his hands on his knees and sighed. "If this doesn't work then I'm not sure what to do."

"I'm surprised that you haven't cut him loose," Lory said and Kuu turned to him horrified by that suggestion.

"No. I can't smother him but I have to at least offer him my support. If we move then we move as a family. I messed up too much when he was little, I overlooked things that I shouldn't, I need to give him his freedom and room to grow and learn but I'm not just going to ship Kuon out to a different country than the one I live in because he's a little harder to help."

Kuu brushed a hand through his hair before grabbing his large bowl of tea and took a sip from it. Lory rolled his eyes as he watched him.

"So, you said that you were thinking about getting a dog or a cat or something. You said that Kuon once had a chicken?" he asked and Kuu laughed at that and nodded.

"Yes, Brian. I mean, I know that Kuon is a sweet kid and if he has something to take care of and share that love and attention with, that's going to release that good energy inside of him." Kuu looked around. He could imagine a dog house in this garden and he could also imagine Kuon running around with a dog but he also was aware that sometimes depression brought with it a tsunami of other things like low energy and lack of motivation.

A dog needed attention and a dog sometimes didn't understand what a human was trying to communicate. Therefore, maybe a cat would be better and Juli would always love to take care of a little animal whether it was a dog or whether it was a cat.

"Maybe if I take him he'll find something he likes," Kuu said before standing up and stretching.

"Shuuhei, don't stress yourself," Lory advised and Kuu turned to him for a moment, "I've spoken with other people who were formally with the agency and they've always said things like boarding schools might be best but if you want me to take over your parenting duties."

"You mean the privileges I get from having a son like Kuon," Kuu said. He shook his head. "I protect those rights very highly," he stated. "I am Kuon's father. You might be an amazing father when it comes to both Kouki and Kyoko but I want to be Kuon's dad."

"Then I wish you luck with that," Lory said.

Kuu nodded and then turned to go back into the house. As he opened the door, he saw Kyoko scampering towards him with Kuon following him. He smiled to the two youngsters.

"Mr. Hizuri," Kyoko said as she stood in front of Kuu and he nodded, crouching so he could be more at her level as they spoke. "Do you believe in the wishing tree?"

"The wishing tree?" Kuu asked before pointing to the large tree on the front yard, "Is that the wishing tree?" he asked and Kyoko nodded. "Okay, I'm thinking that you write a wish for something you want to achieve or something that you want to make happen and then you tie it to the tree and your wish is supposed to come true?"

"Yes," Kyoko grinned. "Kuon should make one."

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," Kuu said before turning to his son who seemed to not want to participate in this, that surprised Kuu and he waited, watching Kuon. He didn't want to ask what was going on. He didn't want to pressure Kuon and he knew that Kyoko was just intending to be kind to them.

"I don't want to make a wish," he said and looked at Kyoko, he gestured to the tree, "You can make one, Kyoko, I'll even help you tie it up really high and then all the fairy luck will have more chances of getting to it. I'm sure that the fairies want to grant your wish."

Kuu nodded, he looked to Kyoko. In his mind, he was thinking that Kuon was helping Kyoko with this, Kuon was older and he was probably thinking that things like wishing trees were just childish and he didn't want to be a kid anymore but he didn't want to ruin Kyoko's fun. He focused on Kyoko. Maybe she would be happy and focus on something else if he helped her with her wish.

"What's your wish?" he asked Kyoko and she looked over at Kuon.

"I just don't want to set a goal or a wish or anything, not when I know what's going to happen. I don't know how long I'll be on this planet and neither does anyone else. What's the use of saying something like, I want to be a great actor when I might not even be alive long enough to make it come true."

Kuu stared at him and sighed. He hoped over time Kuon would be strong enough to battle these demons who were constantly trying to attack him and harm him. He didn't want to imagine of anything scarier than his son losing hope in his dreams. Dreams could only exist if there was hope held in them.

End of Chapter Ten

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Guest, H-Nala, Julietasarard