Caylin took a breath then answered,

"Hello"

"Baby?"

"Yeah…"

"Cay, I need to see you. We have got so much to talk about"

"Matt, I don't know what it is you think we have to talk about. And honestly right now is not the time for me to talk. I am still really upset." – John's heart sank in his chest when he heard Caylin say Matt's name. It sank from the hurt of being reminded that she was still married and from the guilt he was feeling about what had happened between them. He tried not to listen to the conversation, but he couldn't help it.

"Matt, please I can't do this. I want to let you know that I took my job with RAW back. I think the time apart will do some good. I don't know where to go from here. If Randy and Rachel don't care, I am going to stay with them. I will fly in there on Tuesday and get some stuff and drive up to their house."

"Caylin, please you don't have to do this. You shouldn't have to leave the home you paid for. I am the one who screwed up."

"Matt, you have to be there for work. I don't have to. It's just as much yours as it is mine. I am not getting into this situation on the phone with you. We can talk on Tuesday when I come back to get my stuff"

"Cay please don't say this is over. I know we can work through this."

"Matt, I can't say if it's over or not. I just don't know. I know I need my space right now."

"Okay I can understand and respect that. I love you Caylin."

"I know, look I have to go. I will talk to you soon"- With that Caylin closed her phone with tears in her eyes. John glanced to see the hurt in her eyes and knew that he couldn't continue doing what they were doing; it was only going to hurt her more. Rachel watched the body language between Caylin and John and realized that something had happened between them; she just needed to prove it. They all went their separate ways once they got to the arena. Caylin went and signed her contract and then headed to the training room. She checked on the superstars who had been having some minor injuries and made sure they were okay to wrestle. She was an emotional wreck; she didn't know what she was going to do. She loved Matt; she really did, so why did she break her vows? There was something about John that she just couldn't resist. He made her feel safe. Was the feeling real or she trying to get back at Matt in some weird way? All those questions were running through her head and she didn't have an answer for one of them. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice John sneak up behind her. She screamed out of fear till she saw it was only John.

"Hey Cay, we need to talk"

"Okay, let's go to the office"- they walked back to her office. She locked the door to insure privacy. John looked at her, "Cay, I can't keep doing what we are doing"

"Why?"

"It's not fair to anyone."

"I know. I am sorry for getting you into this mess John. I really am. I feel like such a horrible person, but you can't deny the chemistry between us."

"No, I can't Cay. But what we are doing is wrong."

"John, don't feel guilty about Matt. You aren't the reason our marriage is where it is right now. That's between Matt and me He didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth, then he did what he did to me so I think we are even"- with that she leaned in and kissed John. He couldn't deny the chemistry that was there between them, so he sunk into the kiss even more. There was knocking at the door and they finally broke the kiss. John jumped on the table as if Caylin was examining him. Caylin walked to the door to open it and Rachel was standing there. She walked on in.

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

"Rachel what are you talking?"

"Look, I am not stupid. Caylin I have known you too long, same for you John."

"Rach, honey there is nothing"

"Whatever Cay, just tell me" John looked at Caylin and Caylin looked at John. They knew they might as well tell her. They did just that. Rachel knew it and she wasn't happy when they made her promise not to tell Randy. She didn't expect that, but she understood why. Randy would kill John. Rachel left and John and Caylin made arrangements for her to meet him in his room later that night. They were able to keep their affair secret that whole weekend. Caylin flew back to Louisville to get some things to take with her back to Randy and Rachel's. They were going to start planning the wedding while she was staying there as well. Randy was happy to have his cousin there, but Rachel was a little scared. She was scared she was going to let the secret slip to Randy and then Caylin and John would be pissed. She was also scared that if Randy did find out and he knew that she knew. He would be pissed at her as well and then there was Matt. Rachel was becoming an emotional mess just like Caylin. Randy knew something was going on as he saw the tension between Rachel and Caylin. That had never been there before. Randy and Rachel were getting Caylin's room ready when Randy asked her what was wrong. She shook him off and assured him that nothing was wrong. Matt met Caylin at the airport. The tension was massive, but somehow they worked through it. Caylin refused to talk about what happened. Matt helped her pack a few things and before either realized it they were kissing. Their kissing escaladed and they were soon making love. Matt smiled after they finished, he was hoping that Caylin had changed her mind and was not going to leave.

"Matt, I still have to go. I need some time"

"I understand, but I love you I hope you know that"

"I do and I love you too"- she kissed him and then headed to the shower. Matt had finished packing her stuff. He wanted her to leave and be at Randy and Rachel's before dark. Matt walked her out to her Infiniti QX56. He kissed her again on the lips,

"Cay I love you and I am sorry. Please remember that and know that we can work this out."

"I love you too Matt, but I just need time. I will call you when I get there"- with that she closed her door and backed out of their drive way and was on her way to Randy's. She dialed a number,

"Cay"

"Hey Rand, I am on my way. I should be there in three hours or so."

"Ok Cay please be careful."

"I will. See ya in a while"- she hung up her phone and threw a cd in the CD player and drove and cried as she listened to her sad country songs. About half way into the drive her cell rang and she noticed she needed gas too. She answered her phone and looked for an exit to take.

"Hello"

"Caylin"

"John...what's up?"

"Thinking"

"John, nothing good comes out of thinking. Quit thinking and just live"

"Maybe you should do that too Cay"

"John, I can't quit thinking. I have too much to think about. I have gotten myself into a sticky situation and I don't know how to get out of"

"Caylin, just tell me that you want to be with Matt and we will done. I won't beg you any different because that's the best choice you could make for everyone. He is your husband."

"John could you please do me a favor?"

"You know I'd do anything for you Cay"

"Ok...shut the hell up then"- Caylin heard John chuckled on the other end of the phone and decided to change the subject. Caylin added one more thing before they began a conversation of pure flirtation and reminiscing. "John, you are not the reason I am in this situation. It's just the hand I got dealt." They talked the rest of Caylin's drive. She was pulling into the drive way she went got off the phone with John.

"Hey I will see you at the arena. It can be my room this weekend. Call you if I can"

"Okay"- with that she got off the phone and Randy had met her outside to carry her stuff in.

"Cay how was the drive?"

"It was fine. Thanks for letting me stay, it means a lot."

"Shut up Caylin. You know you can stay here whenever and how long you want"

"Thanks cus!"- She hugged him then they went to join Rachel inside. Rachel was on the sofa looking at a Bridal Magazine. Caylin laughed, "I guess that's my hint to get my ass on the ball and help you plan this wedding huh?"

"Damn straight"- Rachel laughed and hugged Caylin. She was happy to see her smiling again. They went up to unpack. "Cay, you know that if planning is wedding is too hard on you, I understand. We can always wait"

"Shut up, that's nonsense Rach. We would have to bust our asses if we waited anymore. Did you think about what kind of gown you want?"

"Yes. Your gown was gorgeous. I want something along that line but different of course. "Well we will go check out if any store carry them here if not we will fly into LA and go to her shoppe. Okay?"

"Thanks Cay. You are the best!"

"I know it. Don't worry your dress is on me!"

"Caylin you are too much."

"Hey...it's the perfect wedding gift to you. Now I have to come up with something for Randall. That will be the difficult part."

"Get him a big screen TV and he will be fine"

"I know!"- They laughed and finished unpacking Caylin. Rachel noticed that she seemed to be happier than she had been so she decided to ask her.

"So Cay, are you feeling better about the situation?"

"No. I honestly don't know why I am smiling. I shouldn't be. Matt and I slept together before I left. Then I talked to John half of the drive here"

"Caylin"

"I know Rachel; please don't scold me like a two year old. I know I am in the wrong here, but I am so far in. I don't know what to do."

"Cay I didn't mean to scold you, but someone is going to get hurt here."

"I know someone is going to get hurt. I don't want anyone else hurt especially if their hurt feels like mine. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide forever Rach. I am ashamed of what I have done; I am ashamed of what I am doing. I love Matt with all my heart, but what he did to me was wrong, Rachel what he did to me, has changed me. It has made me a bitter and deceitful woman. I keep thinking of ways to get him back and of ways to make him suffer even more. I shouldn't be like that."

"So are you saying that this affair with John is a way to hurt Matt?"

"Well I think it was at first, but now it's something more. There is something between John and me. I don't know what it is Rachel, but whatever it is, is nice. Good Lord I am so screwed up right now. I think I really need some therapy."

"Cay it wouldn't be a bad idea just to have someone to talk to. Someone nonbiased and can maybe help you"

"Thank Rachel, now I know you think I am crazy"- she said with a laugh and wiped her tears. "We better head back, Randy will be wondering what happened." They walked down the stairs to see Randy asleep in the recliner. Rachel rolled her eyes, "Now that doesn't surprise me."

Caylin sat down on the sofa and grabbed the magazines Rachel had been looking at. Caylin looked at Rachel, "let's order take out and we can start planning this wedding." – With that Rachel ordered Chinese take out. She knew better than to attempt to wake Randy up, she ordered his favorite and the girls went into the den to the computer and began surfing the internet for various wedding things. Caylin had her lap top and Rachel was on the pc, one would find something and they would switch places. The door bell woke Randy up as Rachel paid for the food. He smiled, "Chinese." Caylin laughed and slapped him on the back, "you wake up for food, but I tried waking you up four times for answers to wedding questions and you never moved."

Randy winked at his cousin and opened his carton of food, "Sorry."

"Told you it would be all mine decisions Cay"- Rachel said as she served herself some food. They had dinner and then Caylin and Rachel went back to working on plans. They had an appointment with the planner the next morning at 10 A.M. Surprisingly Randy went willingly with Rachel while Caylin chose to stay there.

"Cay you sure you don't want to go"- Randy asked before leaving.

"Yes I am sure. Rachel will relay everything to me and that's for you two to decide not me, plus I just don't feel up to it."

"Okay we understand, if you need anything call. Love you"- he kissed his cousin on the cheek with that he and Rachel were out the door. Caylin used the time to think about her situation, she felt guilty about John, she really did, but John was bringing her comfort and happiness. The previous day with Matt had also brought her happiness, until her guilt began to set in. She had no clue where to go from there. Her thoughts were interrupted by her cell ringing. She checked it and saw John calling.

"Hello"

"Hey can you talk?"

"Yes I can. What are you doing?"

"Thinking about you"

"That's sweet John. But you really shouldn't say that"

"Sorry, that's just how I feel and you know it"

"I know"
"Cay, we have got to talk. What are we going to do?"

"John, I am not sure. What do you want me to say that I am going to leave my husband and divorce him? Or that I am going to go back to him? It's just not that simple"

"I am not asking you to make your decision. I am just asking you what you are thinking. What are the options you are considering?"

"John I don't know. You will be one of the first to know when I do, okay? Please just be patient with me, don't get upset with me."

"Cay I am not upset, I will take you anyway I can get you. At this point, I don't care if it's wrong, because to me it's still right. I just hope you feel that way."

"Well I told you before, that I couldn't deny that it felt right"- at the time she got another call on the other line and it said Matt. "Hey john, I got to go. I will call you when I can. "Can't wait to see you again!"- With that she hung up the phone.

"Matt"

"Cay, how are you?"

"You should know that answer Matt. I am helping Rachel plan the wedding, do you know how hard that is right now?"

"No, but I can imagine. I watched our wedding video the other day and the video Rachel and the guys made. Your smile was so priceless, so beautiful. You were so happy, I am sorry for the things I have done to get us to the place we are at Cay. I am really sorry."

"Matt, I know you are sorry. But right now that doesn't change things. Things are still how they are. We have to take action to try to fix them in order for them to change, but right now I don't know what the action is. I am just exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I am so tired of thinking, but there is nothing left for me to do but think. It's with me when I sleep. It's invading my dreams. Matt I love you. I meant those vows when I said them, but sometimes I wonder if we made a mistake."

"Caylin, I love you too and I meant my vows when I said them as well. I can't sleep either, I can't eat. I am in agony for the pain I have caused you, if there was a way I could take it all away I would and not think twice about it, but there isn't. I am willing to do anything to make you happy, whatever your happiness might be, whether we are together or apart. I want us to be together, I love you Cay, I always have, always will. No matter how this turns out, I don't think anyone could say that we made a mistake getting married. We loved each other and that's what we wanted. There wasn't anyone who could have changed our minds."

"I know. I agree no matter what, it wasn't a mistake."- By this time both of them were in tears and each heard the others tears on the phone.

"Cay, you are crying. I hate it when you cry."

"I know, you are crying too."

"Cay, why don't we just start over?"

"What?"

"Why don't we just start over? We put everything behind us. We can even go back to the dating thing. I will come pick you up, take you to dinner and we can date again and slowly work our way back to where we were before things went bad."

"Matt, honey, that's a little hard to do. We ARE married."

"Yeah, but you could come back home. I will go stay with one of the guys for awhile. And then we can slowly progress our relationship."

"I don't know Matt, I will think about it. That's a good idea though."

"Okay, so what are you doing?"- Matt said trying to change the topic.

"Actually I am being very lazy, I am lying in bed."

"Sounds like you"- he said in a teasing manner.

"Shut up Matt, I got to get up in a minute because I have to take Rachel to try on wedding gowns."

"You okay?"

"I am fine; I am going to get off here to get a shower. I love you Matt"

"I love you too Caylin."

The next couple of days went well; Rachel didn't find a gown she liked so they booked an appointment for the following week in LA to go through the selection there. They were all getting ready to leave for the house show in Wisconsin.