Lovefool
Standard disclaimers apply.
Chapter four—The barrier between us
Kaoru sighed as her whole body crouched over the chair, fanning herself.
"How'd you do on the test Kaoru?" Misao giggled from behind.
"Mou! You should know! Math is my worst subject!!" she exclaimed wearily, slapping her forehead.
"I totally agree! I mean, why do we have to have to learn math? It's not gonna help me anyways, I hate math!!"
Kaoru grinned and raised her hand, "High-five!"
"Right on!" they slapped hands in exchange and laughed.
After the bell rang for recess, Kaoru excused herself to go to the washroom.
"Be right back," Kaoru got up. Misao waved to her and yelled, "Hurry up! And don't fall into the toilet!"
"I won't!" she called back with a smile and left the classroom into the crowded hallway. While walking passed her locker, a certain redhead bumped into her abruptly.
"Itai!"
"Oro! Gomen- Kaoru!" Kenshin startled, his violet eyes blinking.
"Kenshin?"
"Ah. Sorry for the bump, I wasn't looking." He apologized with a gentle smile.
"Don't worry about it." A warm feeling of happiness washed through her suddenly, as they stood silently beside her locker, neither moving, staring at each other's eyes. The students walked by them, but they couldn't see. Couldn't hear. In her mind, this was one of the best moments in her life… by just watching his face. How his flamed red hair fell around his face, how his soft violet eyes gazed at her… and his smile. That gentle smile whenever she needed it.
Then she remembered where she was going.
"Mou… I have to go now. I'll see you around ne?" Kaoru said, mainly to herself from snapping out of her trance. Kenshin smirked and gave her a full kiss on the lips, before she could say anything he waved to her, "Got ya!"
"M-mou!!" she flushed and yelled after his laughing figure. "That guy and his nerv," muttering under her breath, Kaoru took a quick turn to the left and proceeded to the girl's washroom. Little did she know, a group of girls were throwing some very sharp and piercing daggers at her back.
Kaoru splashed the water on her face, and lifted her head up to stare at her reflection in the mirror. Few wet strands of her hair were plastered around her face as she brushed them away. Immediately the smile left her and she was gazing sadly at herself.
It hurt.
What did? Another gentle voice asked.
Those rumors. And how he acts… toward me.
How did he act toward you? It asked again.
"He was not being serious!" she suddenly shouted out her thoughts and turn off the water firmly, almost breaking it. Her angry voice vibrated in the empty space, closed up from the noisy outside world.
"Ne… do you like anyone in our school…?"
"Yeah… one,"
Who Kenshin? Who does your gentle, tender, too kind heart belong to…?
"He is not being serious…" her voice lowered into a whimper as she casted her head down once more, fighting back the tears that were to surface.
I want you to treat me as real, Kenshin. Not just some pretend. I know this warm feeling of butterflies in my stomach is getting more often… I'm…I-
Suddenly the light streaked in uninvitingly as loud noises were heard. Kaoru picked her head up and saw three figures stood by the exit. The door closed just as the noises died. The shadows on their faces were slowly edging away, and Kaoru found herself blinking.
"Megumi…" the words escaped her mouth.
The older student smiled, but it wasn't a good smile. Kaoru quickly wiped away her tears and turned on the water again, splashing it on her face. She thought she could have an excuse of her red and shimmering eyes. Then the footsteps surrounded her, in her blue eyes the mirror reflected Megumi's back, and two other older girls whom she couldn't name. She turned around slowly, staring at Megumi's backside.
"Megumi?"
She saw Megumi's clenched fists, curling firmly at her sides. They seemed to be shaking.
"Megumi?" she asked once more, taking a step closer.
"You have no right to call her name, Kamiya." Voice sounded so harsh, the girl from her right spoke. Kaoru widened her eyes and stared at the speaking student.
"E-eh?"
"You heard me. She is your sempai. Pay some respect." The right girl said disgustingly.
Stillness struck the raven haired teenager.
"I just don't see why Himura-san had chosen you to be his girlfriend you know; you're just a shitty brat. You don't look all that fancy." The girl to her left spoke, the words stung her like knives.
"Megumi-sempai is so much prettier than you. She's the same age as Himura-san, he couldn't possibly have any interest in a lower grade brat."
Kaoru lost all her pride in such a single sentence. She could feel her whole body trembling. Where were courage and the defiance she had every time? Where was the brave Kaoru?
Those words simply crushed her heart. She should've known…hadn't she always? The aggressive, child-like little girl… who always needed protection. She just couldn't stand being alone, could she?
Stop it Kaoru! They're just here to anger you… you know Kenshin cares about you. Those words were not true.
But she couldn't shake that familiar feeling away. She hadn't felt this way ever since her mother died. She was left alone, only with the comfort from her friends and her father… who also died in a car accident a few years ago.
Then she met Kenshin, and Misao and Sano… all her great friends. She silently thanked the heavens everyday for the support she always needed.
But why must things complicate themselves?
"What's wrong? Oh, is it that bad? Did I say too much?" the teen laughed.
"What relationship I have with Kenshin has nothing to do with you," Kaoru stated calmly, raising her brilliant eyes up at the same time.
The older girl stopped laughing and looked fiercely at her.
"Megumi-sempai," the one to her right called out to the teen who Kaoru knew ever since she met Kenshin. Her gaze turned toward Megumi's back.
"Is this what you're here for today? To mock me?" Kaoru's voice rose, as hints of resentment exploded in her blue eyes.
Megumi stilled, then turned around to face her slowly. In her eyes determination showed, and she glared down at Kaoru.
"Do you know… how I felt that day?" she panted. Her fingernails dug into her palm.
Kaoru's thoughts traveled back in time to her first date with Kenshin.
"I have loved him long ever since you came to this high school tanuki. I knew him before you." She said bitterly.
"I know that," Kaoru replied quietly.
"But when I saw… the way he kissed you, my whole world just fell on top of me. Do you know that then?" Kaoru's breathing slowed in surprise. "Do you know?!"
Her angry voice rang clearly throughout the washroom.
"…I'm sorry, but I really have…no idea." Kaoru breathed.
"That is not for you to say," Megumi said coldly. She eyed her two companions. They nodded in return. Kaoru's eyes widened when they descended upon her, with looks of something so terrify that she had not seen it before.
"What do you want?!"
"Say your last prayers Kamiya… because you're gonna get it."
Megumi could only turned her head away, tears smearing out of her closed eyelids.
A scream ripped through the silence but was blinded by the noises outside.
…*…
Misao trotted with concern, she glanced at her watch. It had been fifteen minutes since Kaoru had gone into the washroom. She informed the teacher since class already started. She just hoped nothing bad happened.
"Kaoru?" Misao asked in the empty hallway.
Oh kami-sama where is she? I'm getting worried…
She turned left and neared the washroom door. It was unusually quiet, until she heard faint sobs coming from inside. Her instincts overtook her as she opened the door almost too abruptly, while calling her best friend's name out at the same time.
"Kaoru?!"
And she quieted. The door was still opened by the support of her right hand, the light streaked through like silk, covering the dark washroom. There, she saw a figure sitting on the floor; the body shook terribly, caused by the croaking sobs from her crying form.
There was something on the floor. Blood. New blood. A trail of crimson started from about the center of the flooring and ended by the crying form. No, it wasn't just a form, it was…
"KAORU!!" Misao cried out and ran to her side. Her eyes darted fretfully from her blood to her face as she touched her gently on the shoulder, "Oh god Kaoru… please!! Tell me what happened? Are you all right?! Please answer me, oh god…"
Her furious voice sounded like nothing in her burning ears, Kaoru cried her heart out for both the physical pain and the emotional scar. Her heart wrenching cries had not stopped but continued, not only in Misao's distressing heart, but also in life itself.
…*…
"Tell me where she is!!" Kenshin yelled frantically at Sano, who was trying helplessly to calm the angered teen down.
"Cool down a bit Kenshin!" Kenshin struggled from his grasp and panted, "Where is she?!"
"She's at home now," a quiet voice from behind suddenly spoke.
"Misao!" Sano exclaimed.
"She's at home?" Kenshin asked, his violet eyes staring desperately at her.
"She needs you now Kenshin, something must've happened when I wasn't there… she wouldn't even talk to me!!" Misao pleaded, her voice broken.
Without another word, Kenshin dashed toward the apartment's direction.
Sano turned to the small girl, "What really did happen Misao?"
Misao was surprised to find the seriousness in his tone. "I-I don't know… all I know was I found her sitting on the floor, and she was bleeding," she closed her eyes; the picture was still fresh within her mind.
Sano patted her head, "Don't worry, Jou-chan is stronger than that. I believe in her." He stated with a grin. Her eyes softened at the thought.
We're counting on you Kenshin…make her smile.
…*…
Kenshin's heart raced, why? The question repeated for the fifth time.
What happened?
Why didn't you ask for my help Kaoru?
Whatever was bothering you?
He stopped abruptly as he stared at her apartment. It was dusk already; the sky was painted with shades of pink and orange. He made no notice to the beautiful scene but quickly ran to the door and pounded heavily as he gasped for breath.
"Kaoru!! Open the door Kaoru! It's me Kenshin!"
He received no reply. He lost his patience and turned the doorknob, surprisingly, the door opened. It wasn't locked.
"Oh Kaoru do you know dangerous it could be?" he murmured as he locked the door and passed the stairway.
"Kaoru?" she wasn't in the living room. He turned and went upstairs, knocking on her bedroom's door. "Kaoru?" once again no reply came. "I'm coming in," he announced and he opened the door.
Instead of seeing her beautiful face, there wasn't a living soul in her bedroom. The reddish sunlight splashed on the white wall and he noticed there were pictures, photos that were sticked to the hard surface. He walked over to it, and couldn't help but smile.
The photos on the wall, were pictures of Kaoru and himself. There were others too, she made quite a selection on it. There was one he remembered, it was on her birthday. She looked so happy in it. Oh, and here was another one… it was a photo taken right before their first date. The smile never left his face as he studied the photo. He wrapped his arms around Kaoru in that image, and her hands intertwined with his loosely. That sweet smile on her face was so real.
He felt an urge of desire, hitting him so unexpectedly. His smile disappeared, when he realized she was just pretending to be his girlfriend.
A wind picked up and brushed past the opened window. Kenshin closed his eyes, savoring the soft sensations. When it stopped, he took a glance toward the opening, and his mind snapped.
The window was opened. There was an opening…an opening enough for Kaoru to escape.
But why did she need to escape her own house?
Thinking no more further, he walked over to the window and stared up. Just as he expected, a route could be seen, all the way to the roof. He climbed over on top, and supported himself up.
Right before his eyes was Kaoru, sitting alone on the rooftop of her house, hugging her knees to her chest, her face buried.
Relief washed over him like waves, as he just knelt there, staring at her form. Her hair looked so black, reflected by the faint sunlight. He wanted to hug her, and kiss her, telling her that everything was fine, since he was here to protect her when she needed him.
"Do you have any idea…how worried I was?" the words left his mouth as gentle as a whisper.
As if on cue, Kaoru's head snapped up, revealing her teary sapphire eyes. They stayed like that for a while, the affection shining in his violet eyes did not fade away. Kaoru was speechless; her eyes were wide and wet. Then she started crying again, her shoulders slumped as she brought down her head, hands reaching up to her eyes hastily.
Kenshin's eyes widened in surprise, as he reached out and gathered her in his arms, his chin rested on her soft hair. Closing his eyes with a peaceful smile, he whispered, "Shh…it's all right. I'm here."
"Ken-Kenshin…Kenshin…" she sobbed on his chest, her tears soaking his shirt. He stroked her hair tenderly.
After Kaoru slowed her cries, he asked without pulling away, "What happened?"
Kaoru just shook her head quickly. He tightened his embrace around her.
"Itai!" she flinched in his arms while wincing. Kenshin instantly pulled away, staring worriedly at her eyes.
"G-gomen! Did they hurt you…?" he asked, as if afraid of the answer. He saw her hand on her left arm tensed, and shook her head.
She didn't want him to know.
And… that hurt him deeply.
His eyes saddened. Why wouldn't you tell me? Why didn't you ask for my help?
Kaoru kept her eyes away from his own. It angered him.
"Why can't you trust me Kaoru? Do you know how I felt when I heard about you? I can't breathe, my mind wouldn't work straight. Are you all right Kaoru? Are you?" the last sentence sounded like a hoarse plea.
Tears are threatening to spill over again.
"Himura-san can't be interested in a low grade brat."
Are you talking about me?
Is it true, Kenshin? You only care for me like a little girl because I need protection?
Is it true…?
"What am I to you, Kenshin?" she murmured lightly, but enough for the redhead teen to hear.
"What?"
"I'm always a little girl to you, haven't I? Who always needs protection because she is so alone…"
Kenshin froze.
"You can tell me, I know all right?" her voice rose by a bit, and she lifted her head up. "I know okay? I don't need you to feel sorry for me, I can take care of myself!"
"What are you talking about Kaoru? What makes you think that I only see you as a little girl?"
"Have you heard the rumors at school?" she suddenly inquired.
His heart ached. Of course he did. She had to live with the rumors and gossips everyday. Every time he heard something, he grew that much bitter toward the high school.
"Do you know what they are talking about? They called me a slut, hundreds of them, thousands of them! They are mad at me because I am your girlfriend Kenshin. I thought I could cope with it, because I have you beside me." Kaoru smiled lightly at first, but later turned into a frown. "But…"
But?
"I soon realized that…that…" she laughed quietly, "You are making me pretend Kenshin. I realized that between us, there's still a barrier. A one I couldn't stand upon."
Silence passed them for a moment, just when the sun had set. She couldn't see his face, for the shadows covered his features completely. She turned her head away and tried to keep the sobs in her mouth before they burst out. He mustn't see.
He mustn't see how deeply hurt I am.
Wow! It has been long hasn't it! ^-^ I know that this chapter was a bit on the dark side…well that's what every high-schooler has to go through, ne? I just wanted to make the story more realistic in life, other than they're just falling over each other then other students just magically agree and don't mind if the prettiest girl had taken over the hottest guy in school and blah blah blah a happy ending. If that really happens…I'll just get bored of this fic! XD But believe me…the next chapter is SO gonna be a HAPPY one!! I'm not going to put Kenshin and Kaoru through hell every time in my fics!! I'll be dead then T-T.
READ AND REVIEW!!! ONEGAI!!