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What's Left Behind - Chapter 8

Sheppard put the last bite of pie in his mouth and placed the fork on the tray. Finishing off his glass of water, he pushed the moving tray table away from the bed.

"Finished eating?" He looked up to see Beckett walking over to his bed.

"Yeah, I'm done. How's my discharge coming?" He was anxious to get out of the infirmary. Beckett had run just about every conceivable test on him over the last two days. If he wasn't having tests run, he'd been sleeping, so now he was rested up, feeling pretty good, and very, very bored. With the guards hanging around, his movements had been severely limited. The only time he was allowed out of bed was to use the restroom or go have tests run. Asking Sheppard if he was ready to leave the infirmary was like asking a six-year-old if he was ready for Christmas.

"We'll have you out of here within the hour. I need to do one more check of blood pressure and such and I want one more blood sample. Rodney is bringing your clothes along in a minute and Colonel Caldwell said for you not to leave until he gets here. I think he wants to go over the rules, so to speak." Beckett couldn't help but notice the change in Sheppard's expression at hearing the last sentence.

"You know we've been playing this game for almost a week now. How long is it going to take for him to finally believe Thalan is gone? He always revealed himself somehow before this long."

Beckett put a firm hand on Sheppard's shoulder. "Don't you worry, Colonel, he'll come around. Just hang in there a little longer and things will be back to normal."

Sheppard nodded, wishing he could really believe that.

Twenty minutes later, Beckett had just finished his last round of poking, prodding, and blood collecting when Rodney showed up with clothes. Sheppard made a bee line for the shower and emerged a few minutes later, dressed and damp-haired, but happier.

"Feel better?" asked Beckett as he took in the smile and the relaxed shoulders.

"Yes, I do. I've decided to look on the bright side and focus on the fact that I'm returning to my quarters, Thalan is gone, and there are at least a couple of people in Atlantis that trust me. I'll just have to find a way to convince everyone else."

McKay rolled his eyes. "Okay, now how could anyone listen to that sickening optimism and not realize Sheppard is back? Who else could play Mr. Sunshine at a time like this?"

"Mr. Sunshine?" They turned to see Elizabeth walk up behind them, followed closely by Colonel Caldwell. "Who's Mr. Sunshine?"

McKay nodded his head toward Sheppard. "Who else? Our eternal fountain of hope over here."

Sheppard smiled. "I've just decided to focus on the good instead of the bad. I've been doing a little too much brooding the last few days and I'm tired of it. Too depressing. Hey, I've discovered just having the ability to stretch in the morning is a blessing, not to mention getting to use the restroom by yourself. What more could a guy want?"

"Humph! I can think of a lot of things," mumbled McKay.

Sheppard looked up at Caldwell. "I'm assuming you've come to tell me what I can and can't do."

Caldwell nodded. "I'm not going to confine you to your quarters, but I don't want you just wandering the halls either. You may leave to go to specific sites for a specific purpose, but you must tell the guard where you are going and why before you leave and, of course, he will accompany you. If he is uncertain about the activity, he will call and clear it through me. You will have a guard 24 hours a day until further notice. You are not to leave your quarters between 2200 and 0600 hours unless you have cleared it through me first."

Sheppard smirked. "Looks like the midnight snacks are out."

Caldwell looked at him sternly. "I'm glad you find this amusing, but I do not. This is a serious matter and I am treating it as such."

"Well, Colonel, since the only perceived threat is me and I have no intention of hurting anyone, you'll pardon me if I don't get as worked up about it as you obviously are. How long do you plan on keeping me under guard? How long before you believe me when I tell you that Thalan is gone?"

Caldwell crossed his arms and stood with his feet spread apart, as if expecting some kind of attack. "I have no idea, Colonel. I guess that depends a lot on you. I have permission from Stargate Command to stay as long as it takes to be certain that the threat has been eliminated."

The two men glared at each other for several seconds. Sheppard finally turned back to Beckett, his good mood now firmly dissolved. "Can I go?"

Beckett nodded. "Let me know if you have any headaches or blackouts and don't do anything too strenuous yet. I want to see you day after tomorrow for a check up."

Sheppard nodded at the doctor. "Okay. Thanks doc, for everything." He turned back to Caldwell. "Permission to leave, sir?"

Caldwell smiled. "Just remember what I said and follow the rules, Colonel. I'll let you know when we need to discuss you're return to active duty. You're dismissed."

Sheppard walked quickly to the hall and headed for his quarters, his guard just a few steps behind.

"John!"

Sheppard slowed and finally stopped, turning to see Elizabeth hurrying to catch up with him. The young marine guarding him stopped and maintained a distance of several feet, but was obviously keeping a close eye on him. Sheppard gave him a brief nod, reminding himself that the kid was just following orders.

"John, I want to talk to you a minute," Elizabeth said as she came up beside him.

"There's not much to talk about. I'm basically under house arrest and being punished for something I had no control over and Caldwell is loving every minute of it. What else is there to say?"

"John, that's not fair. You're pretty dangerous when you're not yourself, you have to admit. He's just watching out for Atlantis. Give it some time."

Sheppard sighed and ran his hand nervously through his hair. "I've given it some time, Elizabeth and nothing's changed. Even Beckett is convinced that it's me, but no one will listen. The only people that will look at me like I'm not a traitor are Carson and Rodney. No offense, but I've been through hell and it's not getting much better. I just want to do my job, to go back to being me, and no one will let me. Do you know how that makes me feel? My own men treat me like crap and look at me like I'm the enemy. How am I ever going to return to being the military commander of this base after this? How do you lead men that don't trust you? I'll answer that for you, you don't. I'm screwed, Elizabeth."

"You're overreacting because you're upset. Please, just give it a few days. Things will get back to normal."

Sheppard sighed. "That's what I tried to tell myself, but look," he said, pointing to the guard standing a few feet away. "What do you think he'll do if I get happy feet and decide to break out in a run? He's going to shoot me. My own man will shoot me for not consulting with him before running off. Am I right?" He turned to the soldier.

The young marine was caught off guard and wasn't sure what to do or say. "Uh, well, sir, my orders are to, uh, keep you under surveillance, so, uh, . . . "

"Just say yes or no."

"Uh . . . yes, sir."

Sheppard nodded. "See, I told you. You think about how that would make you feel and then come give me the pep talk. Until then, I'll be in my quarters reading, pacing, or generally climbing the walls." He turned and resumed walking down the corridor, his shadow not far behind.

Elizabeth hung her head.

"He's got a point, you know."

She looked up as Rodney walked past her. They were ganging up on her as usual. At least something was back to normal.

oOo

Sheppard had been sitting and staring at the same page of his book for twenty minutes when a loud knocking on the door caused him to jump. A few seconds later, the door opened and McKay bounced in.

"Hey, I didn't see you at dinner, when did you eat?"

Sheppard closed his book in his lap and waved a hand at him. "I wasn't hungry."

Rodney clucked as he shook his head. "Not good, you have to eat. Carson will –"

"What? Ground me? I'm already grounded indefinitely, what more can he do?"

McKay pulled up a chair and sat down, propping his feet up on Sheppard's bed. "Well, he can stick you back in the infirmary for one thing. At least in your quarters you have some privacy and you can get up and move around. What happened to Mr. Sunshine, anyway?"

Sheppard knocked McKay's feet off the edge of the bed. "Mr. Sunshine had a rather nasty collision with reality. I don't think he's going to survive."

McKay folded his hands behind his neck and leaned back in the chair, looking back at the ceiling. "I may actually kind of miss the guy. Maybe we should have a memorial service or something." He brought his gaze down to Sheppard, who was looking at him like he was crazy.

"What? You aren't going to miss him?"

Sheppard just shook his head. "Okay, answer man, I need some answers. How am I getting out of this one?"

McKay shrugged his shoulders. "Just enjoy a few days off and relax. You can help me in the lab with some things if you like. Caldwell will eventually get bored and move on. It's as simple as that."

Sheppard couldn't help but smile. "Let me get this straight. You are telling me to relax."

McKay grinned. "Yep. Just relax and enjoy your time off. I can help keep you entertained until Caldwell decides to leave."

Sheppard laughed and felt the tension drain from his body, his shoulders beginning to relax as he leaned his head back against the wall. "Okay, you're on. You help me stay entertained and I'll work on staying out of trouble and relaxing. Thanks, McKay. I don't think I could do this without you."

McKay sat straight up. "Man, why didn't I record this conversation?" He shook his head in dismay. "Hey, if you're hungry now I could go with you to the mess hall. I wouldn't mind seconds on dessert and a cup of coffee."

Sheppard thought for a second. "Okay, I guess I am getting a little hungry. Hope you don't mind if we make it a threesome."

McKay raised his eyebrows. "I'm not like that, Colonel."

Sheppard just rolled his eyes as he headed for the door. "Oh, very funny. I'm laughing, see, ha ha. You know what I mean." They stepped out into the hall and Sheppard faced the guard. "We're going to the mess hall for something to eat. Care to join us?"

The young marine looked sheepishly at Sheppard. "Uh, yes sir."

"Great, glad to have you. Dr. McKay, this is, uh, Corporal . . . " Sheppard realized he'd never had a chance to meet the latest round of replacements that came over on the the Daedalus and, assuming this was one, he had no idea who this guy was.

"Barnett, sir."

"Yeah, thanks. This is Corporal Barnett. Corporal, this is Dr. Rodney McKay. And you know me, I'm the Colonel that can't be trusted not to run amuck and wreak havoc throughout Atlantis. Well, now that we've all met, I say let's find some eats." Sheppard began walking down the hall and McKay fell in beside him, Corp. Barnett a few steps behind.

A few minutes later, Sheppard suddenly stopped and snapped his fingers. "Hey, can we make a stop on the way?" He turned to face Barnett. "I need to stop by Ronon's quarters and make an apology. It won't take long."

"I don't see any problem with that, sir."

"Great, thanks." He looked at McKay as they turned at the next hall intersection. "I've never really apologized about what happened and I owe him that. I almost got him killed."

"No, Thalan almost got him killed," reminded Rodney.

"Yeah, I know. But it was still my body doing it and I still feel bad about not being able to stop it. I can't help it McKay. Imagine for a minute that Cadman was evil and made you do things to hurt your friends while she was in your head."

McKay shuddered. "Well, she did make me do a couple of things I wasn't too crazy about."

Sheppard grinned, remembering Rodney kissing Beckett just before they returned Cadman to her own body. "Oh, yeah," drawled Sheppard.

"Don't say it. We are not talking about . . . about the you know what." McKay's face has blossomed to a bright shade of red.

Sheppard abruptly came to a stop, his broad grin fading back to a neutral expression. "We're here." He swallowed hard and knocked on the door.

The door opened a few seconds later to Ronon's large form. "Sheppard."

Sheppard nodded to him. "Ronon, can I come in a minute?"

Ronon looked from Sheppard to McKay and then to Barnett. "Who is he?"

Sheppard didn't look back, knowing who Ronon was referring to. "That's Corporal Barnett, my guard. You know, because I'm dangerous."

Ronon just grunted as he stepped back to allow them to enter. Sheppard looked back out the door when Barnett didn't follow.

"I'll wait for you out here, sir."

"Okay, whatever you want." The door closed between them and Sheppard turned back to Ronon, who had taken a seat. "Ronon, I just wanted to come by and tell you how sorry I am about what happened. I promise I tried everything I could to stop Thalan."

"I know. He said you were screaming at him. I think you are the reason he called for a medical team."

Sheppard nodded. "I know. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that it all happened. How have you been?"

"I'm okay. I'm starting to get my strength back. Maybe by the time you are ready for active duty, I will be too."

Sheppard felt the twinge of doubt rise within him, but he swallowed against it. He didn't want to ruin the fine job of cheering him up that Rodney had done. "Yeah, maybe."

Ronon frowned at him. "How are you holding up? I know this can't be easy."

Sheppard waved his hand flippantly through the air. "Cake walk, what's not easy? Nothing to do all day, guards dogging my every step, confined to my quarters at night, and Caldwell talks to me like I'm the original Benedict Arnold. What's not to like?"

"Who's –"

"Sorry, he's a famous traitor in my country's history. I think it's safe to say that everyone hates him and no one would ever trust him."

Ronon stood and walked over to stand in front of Sheppard. He stared at the man until Sheppard began to shift uncomfortably.

"Ronon, is there a problem?" He wondered briefly if it was time for Ronon's revenge.

Ronon stepped back a step and smiled. "No problem, it's you. I was just making sure. I trust you Sheppard. It looks like McKay trusts you too."

"And Carson makes three," added Rodney with a smile. "See, you're well on your way to convincing all of Atlantis."

Sheppard turned to Rodney. "How many people are in Atlantis?"

McKay shrugged his shoulders. "No idea any more since they keep bringing and taking people on the Daedalus. Why?"

"Well, it's taken me a week to gain the trust of three people. I was going to figure out how long it would take to get everyone else on board."

Their thoughts were interrupted by more knocking on the door. Ronon walked over and opened it to find Teyla there with two trays of food.

"Ronon, I have brought . . . " Looking at Sheppard and McKay, she hesitated. "Oh, you have guests. I can come back later."

Sheppard grabbed a tray and set it on the table for her. "No, we were just leaving. We're on our way to the mess hall ourselves. I just dropped by to speak to Ronon a minute."

Teyla nodded. "I am very glad to see that you have been released from the infirmary. You are looking well."

Sheppard nodded. "I'm good. I'm still dangerous though – I guess you saw my shadow in the hall."

Teyla frowned. "I wondered why he was out there. Does Colonel Caldwell still not trust you?"

"Nope, and I don't think that's changing any time soon. Hey, can we spar tomorrow? I'm trying to keep from dying of boredom."

Teyla tilted her head slightly. "Has Dr. Beckett cleared you for such activity?"

"Hello!" interrupted Rodney. "No strenuous activity, remember?"

Sheppard sighed. "Well, not exactly."

Teyla flashed a grin at Ronon before looking back at Sheppard. "You get Dr. Beckett to approve and we may practice together."

Sheppard slid a sideways glare at McKay. "Thanks, Rodney."

McKay grinned in victory. "No problem, that's what I'm here for, to keep you out of trouble since you can't seem to do it by yourself."

Sheppard sighed heavily and turned back to Teyla. "I'll let you know. You guys enjoy your meal."

Sheppard turned and headed for the door, missing it when Teyla nodded her thanks to McKay.

oOo

It was two days later before Beckett allowed Sheppard to resume stick fighting with Teyla. Sheppard twirled one of the sticks in his right hand, smiling at the comfortable feel of the wood in his grasp. He had been looking forward to this since Beckett told him he was cleared at his check up earlier in the day.

"I see you brought a friend."

Sheppard glanced at the marine standing guard at the door. "Yeah, as always. Another new guy I guess, but this one doesn't have a sense of humor. He's already threatened to shoot me today."

Teyla frowned. "He threatened to shoot you?"

Sheppard nodded as he examined his sticks. "Yeah, he came on duty right before I went to the infirmary and I didn't realize he didn't know where I was going. I just headed off, thinking he knew what was going on since the other guy had. The next thing I know he yells for me to halt or he's going to shoot me."

"Colonel, that is unacceptable. You should tell Dr. Weir."

Sheppard sighed. "You know the sad thing is that I'm getting used to that kind of stuff. Rodney and Carson keep telling me to be patient, but my patience is starting to wear thin. Let's not talk about this any more. We came here to spar."

"Are you ready, Colonel?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm ready." They walked out to the center of the mat and faced one another. "Rodney's been trying to keep me busy helping him in the lab, but there's only so much I can do down there. I think I'm starting to get on his nerves."

Teyla smiled and raised one eyebrow at him. "Maybe I can keep you from becoming too bored."

Sheppard smiled back at her. "I don't think I'll be bored. Battered maybe, but not bored."

They eyed each other as they took their ready positions. Teyla lunged for Sheppard and he blocked her blows. The sticks clacked as they took turns striking and blocking for a few moments before Teyla knocked one of the sticks out of Sheppard's hand. She paused, waiting for him to retrieve it and he watched her carefully as he bent over to grasp the stick.

"I know you're going to tell me I haven't been practicing and you're right, I haven't. But this time I have a good reason. I guess you could say I just haven't felt like myself lately."

Teyla sighed and shook her head. "Perhaps you should focus more on the sparring and less on being a comedian."

Sheppard raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to one side. "How do you know what a comedian is?

Teyla grinned smugly. "I have listened to you and Dr. McKay use the term several times. I have picked up on it's meaning, I believe. Did I not use it correctly?"

Sheppard smiled. 'No, you used it correctly. You just caught me off guard, that's all."

"That is twice I have caught you off guard today."

"Ouch! Now who's the comedian?"

"So, are we going to talk or fight?"

Sheppard grinned and then lunged forward. Once again the sound of sticks clacking filled the room. The sparring went on longer this time before Teyla got the best of him. She spun around and ended up behind him, striking him in the back of the knees with her stick. As soon as his knees connected with the mat, she had her stick against his throat, his head tilted back at an uncomfortable angle. After a second, she released him and he knelt forward, rubbing his throat.

"Uh, okay, I think you made your point." As he got to his feet, he noticed the smirk on the face of the marine guarding him. "You're welcome to try if you think you can do better," he offered, hoping the soldier would take him up on it. He wouldn't mind seeing Teyla knock the cocky grin off the kid's face.

"No thanks, sir. I'm enjoying watching way too much. I never knew this could be so entertaining."

Sheppard smiled. "I'm thinking there's a lot of things you don't know, Lieutenant."

Not waiting for a response, Sheppard turned back to Teyla. They circled the mat, watching each other closely. Moving forward at the same time, their sticks rapped together over and over in a dancing rhythm for several minutes before they became entangled in a deadlock. They stood face to face, their arms and sticks locked together above them for a moment before they stepped back.

"You're concentration is improving."

Sheppard smiled as he twirled one stick in his hand. "You're not getting worried are you?"

Teyla raised one eyebrow. "I am not worried. Are you?"

Sheppard just grinned as he moved forward to attack. The dance lasted several minutes this time. Both Teyla and Sheppard were panting heavily as sweat rolled down their face and neck. As Teyla began a sideways lunge, she took a misstep and almost fell. Sheppard took advantage of the situation and swept Teyla's legs, knocking her to the mat. He was on her immediately, his stick against her throat as she lay on the mat looking up at him.

Sheppard opened his mouth to let out a victory yell when he noticed the look of confusion on Teyla's face. He saw the shadow move across the mat just before the pain exploded in the side of his head and then he knew nothing.

The end . . . of part 8.