"I play in a band sometimes," Iori Yagami replied, leaning on the crumbling counter. "Most of the time spirits from ancient clans demand that I team up with my rival to stop imminent threats to humanity."
The blonde was slowing down. This was disappointing but Iori paid little attention to it. She had spent the past hour trying to seduce him in order to get him to lower the room prices. This wasn't nearly as entertaining for Iori as it should've been - she was a shitty flirter, the kind that grew up thinking anyone with a y chromosome were easy marks, the kind who hung out with jerks who confirmed this.
Finally she gave up and flopped off towards the bar, where Mai worked, serving inexpensive drinks. Iori's hotel catered to a demography that didn't allow classy mixes, and the cheapest drink ran for two bucks. The word Mai used to describe it was a dive.
"Why won't you kiss me?" Andy Bogard said to her, leaning forwards, a little drunk.
"Because I'm tired of this," Mai said, cleaning a glass. "I spent the last ten years of my life obsessed with you, Andy, and there was always this will-we-or-won't-we bullshit going on. Then you leave; then I date Kyo; then you come back. I'm not doing anything with you or for you, Andy, until you promise me something concrete."
If it were possible, Andy Bogard was even prettier a man when he was drunk. He was the only one who still looked angelic even when he was emptying his lunch over the bar.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Iori asked, tossing Mai a dish rag as he walked towards them.
"He's petitioning me for a relationship," Mai said, unhappily, holding Andy's head up and catching his second volley in the rag. "He can't really hold his alcohol, Yagumi, so don't hold it against him."
"Too late," Iori said. "Fix me a whiskey and coke, will you?"
"Fix it yourself," Mai snapped. "I'm cleaning up after Andy. Since when do you drink before nine, anyways?"
"On nights like this," Iori said, pouring himself the drink. "Nights when I get phone calls that inform me that Terry Bogard is coming by to attempt to kick my ass."
Mai dropped the rag and Andy's head onto the bar. "No way. Terry's way too- My God, Iori, you've met him! He's the archetypal hero! What beef does he have with you? Let's see - his father's dead, so you couldn't have killed him; you couldn't have killed his brothers - I would've heard about that - and there's no way you could've killed Mary... I can't think of what epic revenge reason he'd have for wanting to kick my ass."
"I don't think you understand," Iori said. "Times are tough all around. He's gotten a job as a card shark's mercenary. I stepped on some toes financing this dump and he's being paid to come collect in blood. Absolutely hilarious."
"Why would Terry be involved in something like that?"
"He needs the money, I guess. I think Andy's drowning in his vomit."
"Shit!" Mai lifted Andy's head up, and dabbed at his cheeks with the rag.
Lightning struck outside briefly for evidence, and the front doors burst open from the stormy wind outside, rattling against the crumbling walls. The lightning illuminated, briefly, a bedraggled figure in a traditional samurai kimono, who staggered in.
"I've only got a few vacancies left," Iori said, wandering back towards the front desk. "but they're all single rooms, if that's... okay..."
He trailed off, staring at the figure.
"Jesus," he said. "Saisyu Kusanagi? They've resurrected you again? How many times can you be resurrected?"
"I..." Kusanagi said, in his customary deep zombie voice. "need... work..."
"So does everyone," Iori replied. "Shut the damn door, will you?"
Kusanagi turned slowly and his ear fell off. Mai screamed.
Iori watched the man shut the door silently, then said, "Botched this one, did they?"
"Meh," Kusanagi said, stumbling towards the bar. "Evil... geniuses... can't... leave... well... enough... alone."
"I'll be glad when your tongue falls out and we can be spared this quick-witted banter," Iori replied. "Listen, you've tried to kill me once, so I'm not going to be particularly easy on you. You apply for a job the same way as anyone else - you hand in a resume."
"Right... got a pen?"
"Yeah, hold on a sec. Here. Here's a pad of paper. Knock yourself out."
As Kusanagi stumbled away, Mai stamped up to Iori and snapped, "Are you insane? You're considering that psychopath?"
"Calm down," Iori said, smiling that weird serial killer smile of his. "Undead employees are the best employees. Because they're not legally people, I don't have to pay them minimum wages. Plus, I might get a ton of work out of his before he falls apart for good."
"What if Kyo finds out?"
"Then our problem of his presence'll be taken care of! It'll all work out for the best! Trust me."
He grinned at her.
Mai frowned. "I hope you know what you're doing."
Iori smiled and replied, "Don't I always?"