Josh had grabbed the bags as quickly as humanly possible, walked up the stairs at a brisk pace – but not so brisk they'd suspect something – and closed the door gingerly. And, holy mother of God, how nice it was to have a whole slab of wood and a level of elevation between him and the Masses of Mosses.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. As soon as he locked the door (thank God it had one), Josh found himself digging into his pocket, pulling out his phone, and calling… C.J.'s cell.

"Calling so soon?" she answered happily.

"Yeah," Josh snapped.

"Things not going so well?"

"They're animals, C.J.! Animals!"

C.J. couldn't help but laugh. This was too good to be true. It was a time where she wished that cell phone calls made within the White House were monitored by the FBI. What a pretty penny she'd pay to get this to listen to over and over again. "Josh, don't be silly. I've met Donna's parents before and they're perfectly civil."

"I'm not talking about her parents – though, they aren't as easy as you're making them out to be."

"Then whom are you speaking of?"

"The – spawn of Satan! There's, I don't know how many of them, all running around, hyper, crying, yelling, hitting!"

"You mean Donna's nieces and nephews?" C.J. replied, although she already knew the answer.

Josh traveled up into the upper octave of his voice screaming, "YES!"

"Oh, Josh. Surely you can handle a few kids." A Cheshire cat-like smile was dancing upon C.J.'s face.

"Not these ones! They've been bread to destroy!"

"I'm sure."

"They have been! C.J., I'm telling you, they've been bread to destroy and kill!"

She choked trying to keep from giggling. Where were Toby and Sam! There was no way they should miss this while waiting before they started having a pre-Thanksgiving poker night. Maybe they could even get Leo…

"Josh, hang on a minute," C.J. said, putting the phone down, and running over towards the Communications bullpen. The only two lights on were coming from Toby and Sam's respective offices, and she peeked her head in to both of their offices and screamed at them to follow her. Neither could understand her hysterically amused command.

Toby didn't get up, but instead shouted an irritated "What?" back at C.J., while Sam, on the other hand, got up, grabbed C.J.'s arm, and asked her to explain, which she did, happily.

"Josh – is on – my cell phone – from Wisconsin, and he's – he's freaking out!" she managed to get out, starting to break into laughter, doubling over, and walking away to brace herself against a the side of one of the bullpen's cubicles. Sam glared at her with questioning eyes. By this time, Toby had finally meandered out of his office.

"What's going on?"

"Something about Josh," Sam answered.

"Josh?"

"He went to visit Donna's family today for Thanksgiving."

"Oh," Toby mumbled. "Why is she laughing?" he asked, making it as if C.J. weren't even in the same space as they were.

"Apparently Josh is on the phone and it's very funny."

Toby rolled his eyes. "C.J. – C.J. – hey, focus for a minute, what's happening?"

She turned around, sharply inhaled, and gave a small chuckle before saying, "Josh is at Donna's parents, and he's being terrorized. He's on my cell phone – it's too funny to miss. You guys have gotta come and listen." She walked away, the two men still glued to their spaces. "Come on!" she shouted. "You will be really sad you missed this."

Sam looked over at Toby and shrugged, following C.J. Hesitantly, Toby followed behind them, rolling his eyes again and mumbling, "This better be good," to anyone who was bothering to listen.

C.J. nearly skipped back into her office, turned her cell phone to speakerphone, and said,

"Okay, Josh. I'm back."

"Took you long enough! Any minute now they'll get their little toy swords and saws and hatchets and start beating through the door!"

At that point, Sam had reached the threshold and C.J. waved him inside, Toby, once again, slowly following.

"Josh, the toys are plastic," C.J. replied.

"It doesn't matter! They'll find a way! Maybe they'll just break into Mr. Moss's tool shed in the garage and whip out the power saw and an extension cord!"

Sam raised his eyebrows and took a seat, smiling. Oh, yeah, this was going to be quite a good time.

"Well, what happened? Last I heard from you, you were waiting for Donna to leave the bathroom and now you're… locked up somewhere hiding."

"Everything was fine at first, Donna and I found our rental car, and started driving to her parents' house."

"And then?"

"And then, as we drove up, they'd put out… some signs. A Welcome to the Moss Family Tribute for me."

"What does that mean?"

"Signs in the front yard supporting Republican candidates and an elephant drawn on the driveway in chalk by the Spawn."

Sam tried to stifle a laugh after hearing Josh's welcoming, but failed, letting out a loud noise.

"What was that?" Josh questioned.

"Nothing," replied C.J., giving Sam the evil eye. "Sorry. I just – choked. That's an – interesting way to greet you."

"Yeah. But, it gets better."

She smiled. "Do tell."

'Having fun, Donna? HAVING FUN!' Josh screeched at Donna's belittling of the signs and chalk elephant.

'They're just trying to intimidate you!'

'Yeah, well, it's working!'

Donna sighed. 'I swear, Josh, you're going to be fine. Let's go.'

'Donna!' he whined.

'The sooner you get out and meet them, the sooner it's over.'

'I – I'm not ready yet. I'm not going in there! I'm taking the car and driving back to Washington!'

Donna slapped him aside the head. 'Oh, get a hold of yourself, will you? You're meeting my family, not the Queen of England!'

'At this point I'd be happier meeting her—'

'JOSH!'

'I'm sorry,' he meekly responded. 'I'm just being honest! Isn't honesty the best policy?'

'They're watching you,' Donna said cryptically, completely ignoring Josh's last remark and alternating her glance between him and the house.

'What?'

'My family. They're watching you – they're watching us. The longer we take getting out of the car, the more suspicious they'll become.'

Josh started to turn around and look, then stopped, staring at Donna. 'Fine. You win.'

'Good. Now let's get these damn introductions over with,' Donna said, opening the door to the car, and Josh following suit.

'Should I get the bags?'

'No, we'll get them after intros.'

'Correction,' Josh interrupted, 'I'll get the bags.'

Donna stared at him. 'I'm sorry, did you just say that you were going to get our luggage?'

'Yes.'

'This is like bringing coffee when one is afraid one's boss is about to be fired.'

'Funny.'

They walked up towards the front door, Donna reaching for Josh's hand and he pulling it away and instead resting his own hand on the small of her back.

'More gentlemanly,' he murmured as they ascended up the stairs and Donna hit the doorbell. The two waited for the door to be opened – all part of the intimidation, Josh assumed. There was no way they were far away from the door.

Finally, the woman who, obviously, was Donna's mother opened the door and embraced her daughter, shouting a loud 'Hi!'

Donna hugged her mother and stepped back, turning to Josh, ready to introduce him.

'Mom, this is, at long last, Josh, and Josh, this is my mother, Carolena Moss.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Moss,' Josh replied, extending his hand.

Instead, the older, shorter version of Donna took her daughter's boyfriend into a small hug. 'It's nice to finally meet you in the flesh, rather than seeing you on CNN,' she laughed.

'Yeah, I'm really sorry about not being able to come out here to meet you and Mr. Moss sooner, but things are—'

'Busy in the White House and the lifestyle surrounding it.'

'Yeah,' Josh replied with a nervous laugh.

'It's fine, we didn't take offense to it.' Josh was still standing with the door half open. 'Come on in,' she beckoned, 'you're letting out the heat and therefore wasting our precious oil which will make Doug get the shotgun off the mantle.'

"Whoa!" C.J. exclaimed. "Donna's dad has a shotgun?"

'Mom,' Donna whined. 'Don't be mean to Josh. He's already afraid we have a wooden stake in the ground and all the nieces and nephews rounding firewood.'

'Don't be silly, we got all of it yesterday,' she replied, leading them into the house. 'And no, Josh, Doug doesn't have a shotgun. We're actually members of the NRA.'

'Oh. That's great,' Josh mumbled.

'And, don't worry about shielding your political beliefs. We're pretty open-minded when it comes to all that stuff.'

'Well—'

'Well, except my brother-in-law Arthur. He's very conservative.'

'And—'

'And Donna's Aunt Mia. She's also on the farther right side of the spectrum.'

'But—'

'But Doug's sister Cathy and her whole family is pretty conservative as well. But other than that Josh, you're fine.'

'Or—'

'Or, I guess you're better staying away from Donna's cousin Erin, Uncle Nathan, Aunt Giovanna, and Donna's cousin once removed, T.J.'

'Yeah, they like to give me a hard time about the President's policies.'

'But they're really not bad, they all voted for your Bartlet.'

'Well, not T.J.'

'No, not T.J. – he's only eleven.'

'He's pretty precocious.'

'Very precocious.'

"What's so funny?" Josh asked, as C.J.'s laughter on the other line was becoming difficult to ignore.

"It's like your very own sitcom!"

"Yeah. I have a feeling Donna and her mom practiced that little repartee before."

'Anyway, all the kids are really excited to see Aunt Donna,' Mrs. Moss said, putting her hand to the doorknob that lead from the foyer to the rest of the house. 'You ready, Josh?'

Her words rocketed him back into reality, as he had been daydreaming about being cornered with people attacking how though unemployment had decreased, many of the Bartlet campaign promises had yet to be made good upon. 'Uh, yeah. I guess so.'

'Don't worry,' Donna said, grabbing his hand and giving it a quick squeeze. 'We just like to tease incoming – suitors about the horrors of our family. You should have seen what we did to Ted, Kathleen's husband. It was actually sort of funny—'

Donna continued speaking, but Josh shut her out as the door to the rest of the house opened in what seemed to be slow motion. She was saying something, but all Josh noticed was the way that her mother casually sauntered into the room and the great number of adults and children who slowly turned to face the door and to catch sight of the matriarch, young daughter, and fresh meat who had walked into the room.

'Aunt Donna!' a girl with short blonde curls shouted and ran over to give Donna a hug, dropping the Play-Doh she had been playing with on the floor with a sizeable thud.

'Hey, Caroline!'' Donna replied, picking up the little girl and balancing the child on her hip. 'Look how big you've gotten since I saw you last!'

'You missed my birthday,' the girl said, squeezing her face up into a frown.

'I know! I'm sorry I did! But, did you get my present?'

'Yes. Thank you.'

Donna laughed. 'You're welcome. I can't believe you're three!'

As Caroline stuck out her index, middle, and ring fingers to signal her age, one of the adults, who looked a lot like Donna, and for that matter, a lot like Caroline, walked over to where the two were standing.

'Let's let Aunt Donna get settled, Care, okay?' the woman said, removing the girl from Donna's arms.

'Thanks, Kristen,' Donna replied. 'She looks so big! I can't believe I've missed seeing her grow up.'

'Yeah, but you've been getting my e-mails with the pictures, right?'

'Yeah,' laughed Donna. 'They clog up my inbox and usually get Josh pretty annoyed.'

'Right!' exclaimed Kristen, stepping over to Josh. Aside from the pairs of eyes glued to him, no one had made note of Josh's presence verbally. 'Hi Josh,' she said, extending her hand to him, 'I'm Kristen, one of Donna's sisters.'

'Nice to meet you,' Josh replied, nervously taking the woman's hand. As first Moss-Lyman contact had made, the rest of the family seemed to finally be willing to approach him – albeit cautiously. It appeared that since Kristen hadn't been bitten or mauled by this new guy that maybe it was okay to talk to him.

'Hi, Aunt Donna,' one of her nephews said quietly.

'Hi, Mason!' she replied, bending down to give him a hug.

Then, they all came fast and furious at Josh with their name and an accompanying handshake.

'Josh, it's good to meet you. I'm Kristin's husband, Cam.'

'Hi.'

'Great to finally meet you, Josh. I'm Kathleen, Donna's oldest sister.'

'Hey, Kathleen.'

'Josh. Brian, Donna's big brother.'

'Good to see you.'

After his handshake with Brian, Josh saw two kids walking up to potential uncle or father depending on whose kids they were.

'Daddy,' the girl who had walked up to Brian asked, 'who is that man with Aunt Donna?'

'Yeah,' the boy next to her replied. 'He looks scared.'

'Uh, Laura,' Brian said, calling over to, Josh realized from the name, the woman who was his wife, 'Jackie and Dustin want to know who it is with Donna.'

'Oh, it's – well, he's—'

'The man with Donna is—' Kristen began, then finding herself at a loss for a title for Josh. He wasn't Uncle Josh, but they wouldn't understand Josh, Aunt Donna's boyfriend…

'That's – her man,' Kathleen concluded, receiving weird looks from the rest of the adults in the room, to which she just shrugged her shoulders.

'Daddy, is it okay to talk to him?' asked Jackie, pointing towards Josh.

Brian laughed. 'Of course.'

Jackie walked over towards Josh, stopped, looked at him, turned around, and motioned for Dustin to come with her. 'Hi,' she finally said.

'Hi,' Josh replied.

'Jackie,' Laura shouted across the room, 'how to we address people when meeting them for the first time?'

'Right,' the girl replied, standing up straighter and extending her – left hand, said, 'Hi, Her Man, my name is Jackie, and this is my cousin Dustin.'

Josh looked at Donna who was holding back a laugh. 'Hi, Jackie,' Josh replied, shaking her left hand.

'Are you the reason Aunt Kristen told me to draw an elephant in the driveway?'

'Uh, yeah.'

'I'm going to be an artist.'

'That's pretty neat. I could tell, because your elephant was really good.'

'Thank you, Her Man,' answered Jackie, to which Josh heard some more stifled laughter from the adult contingent in the room. 'At school we have art classes and I like them a lot.'

'Oh,' Josh replied happily. 'That's really good.'

'Yes. And my daddy said that I was supposed to tell Donna's friend that was coming to meet us today that alowycatering funds for school art programs is the only good thing President Barterlet has done.'

'Ah,' Josh replied, casting yet again another glance at Donna. 'Well, at least we've done one good thing.'

'That's who Aunt Donna works for,' Jackie continued. 'She works for President Barterlet at the White House in Washington.'

'Yeah, so do I.'

'You work at the White House?'

'Uh-huh.'

'So you and Aunt Donna work together?'

'Yeah, we do.'

'That's nice. My daddy says that Aunt Donna's boss – not President Barterlet – can be a big pain sometimes, not letting her come home a lot.'

'Ah, well, we'll have to make him stop doing that.'

'Yep. She hasn't even seen my baby doll that I got for Christmas last year!'

'Or my Buzz Lightyear doll,' Dustin chimed in.

'Well, you'll have to show them to her.'

'And you'll have to see them too, Her Man,' commanded Jackie.

'Sure,' Josh said. Oh, crap, was he in over his head.

'Well, Jackie, let's first let Donna and Her Man get their bags and put them upstairs before we show them toys,' Kathleen aided.

'Okay,' Jackie replied and walked off without protest.

"They don't know your name is Josh?"

"No."

"It's Donna and – Her Man?"

"Yes. Sounds like Herman, but really isn't."

"God," C.J. sighed. "These kids are good."

"Not really the kids, more or less Kathleen."

"Okay, I can see why that would be frustrating, but I haven't heard the horrible part of it yet."

"Oh, that's because it comes after I went back out to the car."