Disclaimer: I don't own Rick and Morty

A/N: This is a two chapter story about Rick and Morty being forced to spend time with each other. I tried to keep everything on a canonical level. Also to the guest who left a review on the other fanfic, I'm glad you like my work and I'd love to hear from you more:)

Enjoy!

"I can't fucking believe you, Rick!"

Summer groaned and let her arms fall to her sides on the couch. She was just getting used to the peaceful silence in the house.

"Oh-oh, really? Well news flash, Morty, no one fucking cares!" Rick's voice yelled back at his grandson, slightly slurred. "Go sleep it off or somethin', I-I-I don't give a shit."

"He's drunk. Fantastic." Summer mumbled under her breath, glaring at the TV like everything wrong with her life was its fault.

"You-you- you're a monster, Rick-!"

"Yeah, no shit, took you- took you long enough to figure that out. And you get mad at me when I call you a retard." A cruel scoff.

Summer's eyes slightly widened. That was a little too harsh for their usual bickering.

"Is this all you can come up with?" Morty huffed, and Summer could imagine him crossing his arms in the garage. "I thought you'd add a little spice to the insults. Maybe you're just drunk, or-or slipping a little. You should keep up if you want to keep your friends and family away from you. No wonder why Birdperson reje-"

"You little shit!"

A crash was heard from the garage, and another set of cussing and yelling.

Summer glanced longingly at her phone one last time before getting up, cracking her knuckles and heading to the garage, the usual center of this madness.

"What is it this time?" She growled as she entered the room, finding them both entangled in a physical fight. Summer didn't worry too much about Morty, though. Rick was throwing fists in the air. He was probably shitfaced. "It's like an ungodly hour past midnight, what crawled up your asses?!"

Neither Morty or Rick answered her, too busy yelling and hitting each other.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" She gritted her teeth. "Fucking answer me before I do something dumb that even Rick can't fix." She warned loudly. "I swear I'll do it."

The duo continued to ignore her, engrossed in their fight, and Summer's eyes found the box she was looking for. "I warned you." She huffed.

Morty was having the worst day of his life.

Every punch he delivered to Rick's disgusting face only took off the edge of his internal flame. He'd tolerated Rick's psychopath and genuine apathy for Morty's suffering long enough. He'd lost hope and had told Rick he'll be quitting the adventures. He still meant it.

And every time he looked at his repulsing excuse of a grandfather, the rage came back and he felt more certain about his decision.

"Destroyed. My. Life." He spat out as he threw his fist and it collided perfectly with Rick's jaw.

"Still-still turned out better than what you would've been wi-without me." Even in his inebriated state, he managed a sick smirk that made Morty literally cry out in frustration. "Pathetic, mundane, fucking stupid. Just a nice replica of your father. I'd rather see you cry while kicking someone's ass than getting your own kicked- Oof!" He tensed and let out a choking sound as Morty kneed him in the stomach.

"I fucking hate you!" Morty screamed frantically, tears streaming down his face.

"Not really an issue." Rick burped casually as if he couldn't taste the blood in his mouth.

Aiming for a full blast hit to the scientist's nose, he found out he couldn't move his arms.

"Wha-" He narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth viciously. Turning back with an animalistic snarl, he missed the streak of shock that crept into Rick's nonchalant stare. "Let me kill the bastard!" He roughly attempted to shake his sister off, but Summer scoffed and pushed him face down into Rick's vomit-covered shirt. An act Morty didn't appreciate as he growled and struggled harder.

"You're not killing anyone tonight, Morty. I just want to sleep, why do you two have to.. be like this." She groaned out, fiddling with something.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Get off me!" Morty's muffled, but crazed voice asked. Drunk Rick just had his brows furrowed in confusion, not processing the moment.

"The intensified equivalent punishment of hugging it out." With a clicking sound, she giggled and stepped away.

"Ugh!" Morty raised his head, trying to get away from Rick, but something tugged on his hand and he ended up falling down again.

Anger now replaced with confusion, he looked up to see Summer clutching her sides in laughter. With a frown, he turned his attention on the sharp pain on his wrist when he spotted it.

"Summer, this isn't funny." Morty spoke with a serious tone, glaring at their bound wrists.

"Oh, it's funny, alright." She snorted, recovering.

"Where's the key, Summer?" Morty's glare settled on his sister.

"How would I know?" She shrugged and Morty's eye twitched. "I warned you, Morty. You should've answered me or you wouldn't be in this mess. Now good luck getting out of it."

Morty readjusted his bound wrist so the metal wouldn't hurt his skin. "You think a pair of ridiculous handcuffs is gonna stop this moron?" He cackled incredulously, pointing at Rick, who was now snoring on the floor. "I'll just wake him up."

"Quick question." Summer clicked her tongue as she picked up a few items the pair had knocked over. "Can a Rick break a cuff he created himself?"

"Um, yes?" Morty said, uncertain.

"So Ricks are immune to it? You do know that a great deal of Grandpa's enemies are a bunch of himselves, right?"

Morty's confidence faltered.

"So it's either he finds a way that other Ricks guaranteed won't, or-"

"I get it!" Morty groaned aloud. "O-or he doesn't find a way at all. So what, I spend the rest of my life tied to this- this drunk-ass psycho?!" He panicked with the thought.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." Summer rolled her eyes, placing a hand sassily on her hip. "It won't take him that long to figure it out if you don't get in each other's ways."

"What do you mean by that?" Morty snapped.

"What I mean, smartass-" She stood in front of him. "-Is that you poke at his insecurities too. So you can't say you're that much better than him."

"So you're saying we're the same?" He let out a forced unbelieving laugh. "He's a maniac! Do you know what happened today on-"

"I don't give a damn!" Summer cut him off angrily. "I just want to fucking sleep in peace and quiet, okay? I don't have the energy to keep you wild animals away from each other. Might as well glue you up."

"That makes zero sense." Morty glared daggers at Summer, who was making her way out of the garage.

"Don't care. Have fun, bitches!" She smirked and flipped him off before shutting the door behind her.

The room sank into silence, Rick's steady rhythm o breathing reminding him of his newest issue to deal with.

A small voice told him there was a fast option here. Kill Rick, cut his hand off and deal with the rest. He might has well pick up another Rick for the family. Maybe one with less trouble-

He started back into reality with a horrified gasp. He let the tears fall, now that no one was tampering with them.

He didn't want to become Rick. He didn't want to become an unfeeling creature with a kink for nihilism. He didn't ask to be manipulated, physically and mentally. He couldn't even tell which thoughts were his own anymore.

Morty tried to keep his distance with the offending Rick, but the further he leaned away, the more the metallic edges of the cuffs dug into his wrist. He managed to ignore it for a few minutes, but new tears prickled in his eyes and he sighed in defeat, leaning back to find a comfortable position to sleep in. He ended up curling by Rick's side, too tired and drained to care.

"Morty?!"

Morty's bloodshot eyes fluttered open. Sleeping on the cold floor of the garage without a pillow hadn't been fun. His eyes shot to his father, who was looking at him in disbelief.

"A-am I late for school, dad?" He sat up straight and stretched.

"Arr, not yet, but um.. is Rick going to come with you?" He finished awkwardly.

"Oh." Morty eyes settled on the metal that cuffed him and his grandfather together. Frowning, his sour mood returned. "H-honestly, if he can't get rid of this right now, then yes." He nodded to himself, sounding determined. "I'll drag him there if I have to."

"Um, good for you!" Jerry looked like he didn't know what to say. "I'm making breakfast. I'll get your lunch ready too since you're a little uh, busy." He cringed.

"Thanks." Morty grumbled out, turning around to shake Rick awake. "Wake up, Rick." He sighed in annoyance.

Alone for a few nonsense mumbles, Rick didn't stir. Morty took a shaky breath, indicating his barely held back tendency to snap. "Rick, wake up, we have a fucking problem here!" He voice rose and grew sharp at the end, causing Rick to startle awake.

"Wha-what?" He blinked the sleep away. "Wha-whas wrong? What happened.. s-someone dead or something?"

"I wish." Morty said dryly. Rick only noticed their situation when he tried to rub his eyes with his palms.

"Wait- what the fuck?"

"Speaking of, I need to get to school." Morty helpfully added.

"How'd this happen exactly?" Rick arched his eyebrow and Morty was about to answer when he spoke again. "What the fuck even is this shittily improvised piece of garbage?"

Morty's mouth dropped in disbelief. "You didn't make it?!"

"I mean it looks like something I would make.." Rick said defensively. "But I don't remember making about half of my inventions, so.."

"So we're stuck like this?!"

"Oh, calm your tits." Rick huffed moodily. "I've broken about every cuff that I've dealt with with a portal." He reached in his labcoat. "Shoot it in the middle of the chain, and- okay, that's unexpected." He blinked at the portal. It looked more like a donut now, as the chain went through the hole in the middle of the portal.

"A cuff for Ricks.. Summer said something like that." Morty thought out loud.

"Wait- where does Summer come in?" Rick's attention faltered off the portal and turned on Morty instead.

"She was the one who did this." Morty said with irritation, raising his left hand, which caused Rick's right one to be lifted up as well.

"I thought you did it, though." Rick sat up, completely awake.

"Wha-why would I want to be cuffed to some- some-"

"Alright, just don't blow your brain trying to talk." Rick rolled his eyes. "And you're acting like I just loove being chained up to some pubescent whiny little bitch who can't take a little trauma once in a while." He batted his eyelashes with the sarcastic remark.

"W-wait, hold on." Morty's eyes narrowed threateningly. "Is this what that was back there? Me quitting?"

"It wasn't about anything!" Rick snapped. "I don't give a shit! I don't need you!"

"I know!" Morty yelled back. "Then why don't you do the both of us a favor and leave, me, the fuck alone!" He stressed each word.

"I don't have to listen to this shit." Rick tried to massage his temples, but as he raised his wrist, Morty yelled out in pain and crashed into him. "Right, I do have to listen to this shit, for now."

"Don't tug like that, it hurts." Morty said in a whimper, rubbing his wrist. "The- this stuff is sharp."

"Fine, fine." Rick sighed and lowered his arm. "If you're gonna be a bitch about the gift I actually gave to you-"

"Such a gift!" Morty drawled with sarcasm.

"- then I don't want to see your fucking face anymore." He plainly finished.

"Yeah, because you only ever even talked to me because of the brainwaves." Morty bit out and Rick scowled. "Good riddance anyway."

"Let's go find Summer." Rick suddenly looked away, sounding less energetic.

Morty stood up, trying to drag Rick along but they both hissed in pain. "Didn't you just tell me not to do that?!" Rick glared at him, rubbing his hand.

"I forgot, okay?" Morty crossed his arms in defense. "Just get up so we can go."

Rick grumbled and stood up as well before taking Morty's hand and lacing their fingers.

"What-" Morty started to scowl, but Rick interrupted.

"It's so we can fucking walk, dumbass." To prove his point, he started walking furiously out of the garage and to the kitchen, still holding his hand, and Morty understood.

For once in a long while, he just let himself be dragged around. At least the cuffs wouldn't hurt.

"Where is my stupid fucking granddaughter?" Rick asked in annoyance as they reached the table.

Only Jerry was there, picking up the dirty dishes. "Good morning to you too, Rick." Jerry sighed.

"Where is she?" Rick asked more urgently. Morty only squirmed uncomfortably. He wasn't used to holding people's hands for this long. For whatever reason it might happen.

"She left for school." Jerry answered like it was obvious. "She told me to tell Morty to have fun." He gave his son a confused look. "Whatever that means."

"It means war." Morty muttered darkly.

"Ignore him." Rick brushed the boy off casually. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have some dumb classes to attend." He deadpanned before shooting a portal. Morty bit his lip, wondering what kind of disasters could occur this time as Rick dragged him through it by their linked hands.

Morty took a shaky breath and raised a fist to knock.

"Come in Smith." Came the sigh of Mr. Goldenfold.

"Talk about a bad reputation." Rick snorted.

Morty elbowed him, shutting him up. "Be polite!" He quietly hissed and ignoring the amused look Rick gave him, he opened the door to his class. Feeling all the eyes turn on him, Morty absently let go of Rick's hand.

"What's goin' on this time, Morty?" His math teacher arched an eyebrow at him. "Your grandpa can't be in this class."

"P-please, haven't I been to class violating more rules before?" Morty pleaded with a hint of desperate exhaustion.

"Fair enough." Mr. Goldenfold shrugged and went back to the black board. "Take a seat and listen to the rest of the lesson. I'm sure you of all the students wouldn't have a problem gettin' the first part by yourself."

His classmates snickered and Morty chuckled along nervously. "Haha, yeah, I'll just-" When he tried to move towards his desk, Rick held him there.

"Hold on a minute. Mr. Goldenfold, right?" He ignored the look of warning Morty gave him and the intrigued faces of the students. "How long did it take you to get this subject, if you don't mind me asking, sir?"

"Rick!" Morty hissed to him in panic.

"I learned the basics of functions in two weeks." The teacher said, smug and a little bored.

"By self studying?" Rick pressed further. He was obviously ignoring Morty's desperate tugs on the chain.

"No." He frowned. "Do you even know what functions are? You can't question my knowledge in my career when-"

"A function is a rule that gives value of a dependant variable that corresponds to specified values of one or more independent variables, blah, blah, blah, all that bullshit-" Rick waved it off. "My point is, that I learned it in fucking elementary school, in less than an hour."

"They don't teach it in elementary schools-" Mr. Goldenfold started to cackle.

"Exactly. Taught myself." Rick burped and the class fell silent. "But my actual point is, I'm a goddamn genius. That means my daughter is smart, and this guy-" He patted a mortified Morty on the back. "-not only there's nothing wrong with how his brain fucking works, but he's smarter than probably half of you morons here."

Morty stared at the ground with a deep flush, wishing for it to open up and just swallow him whole. What the hell was Rick talking about?!

"I mean I've done the math." Rick shrugged, rambling on. "I even assumed the worst for Jerry- so like a solid 55, but even that wouldn't get in the way." He looked up at the speechless teacher with disinterest. "If you couldn't turn the gears in his head and trigger the cerebrum, then the problem doesn't root inside the brain. Maybe you should look deeper into your shitty methods of teaching instead of taking out your own failures on your students," He paused dramatically. "Sir."

The students were basically on the edge of their seats, excited that someone just roasted their teacher. Rick continued. "Anyway, we'll be just sitting in the back, right Mo-Mo?" Morty didn't need to look at the old man to know he was smirking at him.

"Don't ever call me that again." Morty muttered darkly and dragged Rick to his desk in the back. Thankfully, the math teacher had decided to pretend that even hadn't even happened, going back to teaching.

Morty liked that just fine, thank you very much.

"There's only room for one." Morty frowned at the seat.

"And they only had one bed!" Rick's breath suddenly tickled him. Morty slapped the man away.

"Stop whispering bullshit in my ear!" He hissed.

"Mr. Smith-" His teacher warned.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Goldenfold." Morty scratched his neck shamefully. "I-I'll sit down." With an eye roll, the man turned around again.

Morty glared at his grandfather before sinking down against the wall. Rick followed his gesture, so they were both sitting on the floor.

"Well, that was fun." Rick sighed, content.

"Says you." Morty grumbled, taking out his pen and textbook.

"Oh, c'mon! I just defended your honor, y'know." Rick slightly nudged him.

"It looked like it was more part of your fun." He glared ahead, sarcasm visible in his words.

"You think I'd mock you like that?" Rick had the nerve to look offended.

"You already do that, everyday!" Morty looked at him incredulously, trying to keep his voice down. "You just called me a retard a few hours ago!"

"I did?" Rick actually looked bemused.

Morty huffed and buried his head in the book, trying to understand it. Screw Rick and his insults and blackouts. He just needed to tolerate him until he could finally part ways from the man.

A long time passed, and Morty had long given up on learning math. He was just staring blankly at the clock, waiting for the class to end.

"Why do they keep doing this?" Rick suddenly asked.

"Doing what?" Morty asked, removing a thrown gum from his head delicately.

"This." He subtly pointed at the pink substance in Morty's hand. "Is this like some sort of sadistic passive-aggressive bullying?"

"Do you know what bullying is, Rick?" Morty couldn't help but snort.

"You don't look like you do." He shrugged and Morty's smile fell. "They're gonna kick your ass, aren't they?"

"No thanks to you." Morty tried to hunch into himself.

"I can take care of them-"

"You're not killing anyone, Rick. The school's caught up with the murders. Everyone knows it's you." Morty scolded.

"Nah, I feel like traumatizing some children tonight." He drawled lazily. "I'm gonna feed 'em nightmares."

"Better them than me." Morty mumbled under his breath, staring intently at the strange symbols on the paper.

Rick's eyes followed his fixated stare. "We both know you don't get it-"

"I wouldn't be trying to learn if I didn't pathetically get my hopes up over that lie you said." He felt his eyes sting with tears. "Why did I fall for it? I know it's a lie!"

"I didn't lie." Rick suddenly sounded oddly defensive. "A-and if you're saying I'm wrong, then I'm gonna prove you wrong, bitch!"

"Wha-" Morty didn't have time to reply as Rick took the textbook from his lap and went through it, murmuring to himself. "Well, this is nothing.." He set the book dramatically on the ground in front of both of them. "Okay. Try it this time, but with my instructions. Got it?"

It took Morty a moment to realize Rick wanted to tutor him. "O-oh." He was surprised, to say the least. "I-I mean, I've gotten pretty good at following instructions." He scratched his arm sheepishly.

"Remember what your teachers always tell you before they start the lesson." He spoke quietly. "What do you think I want you to do?"

Morty scrunched up his face, concentrating on remembering. "Err, focus on not fucking up and try hard?" He tried.

"Wrong." Rick clicked his tongue. Morty raised an eyebrow. "You see, Morty. You can look at math from two angles." He started to explain. Morty decided to listen carefully. "One where everything's complicated and it stays complicated forever, and you wreck your brain trying to understand it."

He tapped the pen on the paper. "This textbook, this school, every motherfucking school on earth likes to feed that crap to you. And you know what I think, Morty?" He squinted his eyes.

"Are you gonna go into rant mode and get me kicked out of school?" Morty asked with caution and slight fear.

"I think it's fucking stupid, pointless! Why do that when there's a better way? Why hate math when you can fall in love with it?!" He started to flail his arms around when Morty stopped him, reminding him of the cuffs.

"A-are you feeling okay?" Morty eyed him with concern.

"The other angle, Morty." Rick arched his eyebrow. Morty blinked in interest, indicating that his attention was back on the subject. "It's not a fucking secret. It's just that no one gives a shit about it." Rick shrugged. "Math isn't hard. At least not as hard as you think, ever. Once you get into it it's nothing. And that's because once you get the concept, you start making definitions of your own. Ones that your brain can better understand and file. You simplify it, getting rid of all the big nasty words in the text." He drawled and a smile tugged on the corner of Morty's lips.

"You can just make the work easier for your brain and simplify your shit before you learn it. That's what I always do." Rick shrugged.

"But you can understand the complicated ones easily." Morty asked in confusion.

"Easier than you, sure. But being smart doesn't always mean your brain works harder, Morty." He pointed at his head. "Most of the times it just sees the solution most people don't. The shortcut."

Morty stared for a moment, his mouth agape. "S-so you think I can... learn?" He averted his eyes shyly.

"Once you learn how to learn, it'll be a piece of fucking cake, baby!" Rick flashed him a grin.

"Okay, um, are you gonna start teaching or something?" He awkwardly asked.

"I have my right hand tied right now, Morty. I explain and you write, alright?"

"Uh, okay." He felt anxiety rise up. "H-holy shit, I'm gonna fuck it up."

"Noo, you're doing it wrong." Rick stressed. "Do you do better in peace or under pressure?"

"In peace." Morty answered easily.

"Then the fuck is your problem?" Rick looked like he wanted to slap him. "Don't be a masochist. You're not working against yourself, just don't think and fucking do it!"

"I'm doin' it, I'm doin' it! Jeez." Morty picked up the pen and took a deep breath. "O-okay, how do I do it?"

Rick beamed. "So what's the title of this lesson?"

"C'mon Rick! I'm not an idiot!" Morty snorted. "Okay, it's 'Functions and usage'."

"First things first, we simply and summarize the bullshit we see in this first page." Rick instructed. "Like I told you, a lootta words Morty. Lots and lots of sentences with big overly complicated words. It doesn't look like it, but what the whole text is dying to deliver, is that function is like a machine, that takes a variable and gets it through some arithmetic- which is a fancy word for mathematical operations, which are addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. You know those, right?"

"Right." Morty firmly nodded, seeming seriously engrossed in the process. "Also exponent and um, what was it called?" He frowned.

"Logarithm. Impressive." Rick slightly praised and Morty felt pride bloom in his chest. "So the machine takes the variable, which we call input variable, does whatever it wants with it, and at the end, what we're left with is another variable, called the output variable. Basically, functions are a set of operations that turn our input variables into output variables." He blankly looked at Morty.

Morty hummed encouragingly as the silence stretched. "What next?"

"What? Nothing." But a smirk shined through his nonchalant attitude. "Flip the page."

Morty's eyes widened. "W-wait, that's it?! This long ass page sums up to that?! But that was so easy!"

"I know, right?" Rick hummed in amusement.

"Son of a bitch." Morty cussed as he glared at the textbook.

"See why I hate school now?"

"Definitely. It's a waste of fucking time and energy."

"That's my grandson!" Rick snorted. "And guess what?" He leaned in close as if he was sharing a secret. "You've probably seen most functions as lines and curves, right?"

"Uh-huh!" Morty nodded with enthusiasm.

"Did you know-" Rick whispered. "That you can tell if a function forms a straight line or a curve based on the exponent of our input variable in the function notation?!"

"Shut. The fuck. Up!" Morty gasped.

They both looked each other in silence for a moment before bursting out in laughter. It took them a few minutes to realize they were alone in the class.