Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Chapter 13- Breakfast For Raven!
Yes, it is true. *Looks up to title of chapter* Raven… I can't bear to say it! You'll find out anyway, so why should I have to say it? *Sniff* Say your prayers now! By the by, thank you a plenty for reviewing! REVIEW SOME MORE! PLEASE!!!!! I'm HYPER!!! SUGAR!!! Anyway… here we go! (By the way, REVIEW!) Oh, and Raven DOES have breakfast instead of dinner, 'cause she waits for morning to... ^^'
Raven drew the tiny green figure close to her mouth.
"I'm going to get rid of you, once and for all…" she said. "Once… and…. for… all… You've been such a nuisance over the past hours… days… months… even years… And now… Now, Beast Boy… I get revenge…" Raven tightened her grasp on him and pulled him closer to her. "For all those times you've annoyed her… YOU… WILL… PAY…"
"Her? Raven, who- what are you talking about?" The huge monster "Raven" just laughed.
"Oh, but Beast Boy… I am not Raven… No... I am something else... yes... a side of her... just one you've never seen." The beast paused evilly, knowing that this would hurt him brutally inside. "Hate…combined with her father, the demon inside her. Together we are very strong…strong enough to overcome her. As soon as she feels hate, we grow more and overpower her." The monster laughed evilly.
That speech… that one speech made everything click for Beast Boy, answering all of his problems, questions, and most of all, the reason why "Raven" was acting this way. Everything seemed to come into place except… why was it hate? Wouldn't it be anger? Hate… Beast Boy thought. For me… from… Raven… His heart was crushed, and all of a sudden he had no reason to live.
"Kill me then." The beast was surprised.
"Oh? Ready to die so soon?" Then, as if it ate something unpleasant, the tyrant started twisting and turning until a small tornado was created. The monster that was Raven's hate dropped him to the ground. Beast Boy scrambled to his feet. Screams of agony could be heard from the eye of the tornado. Yells of frustration joined them, creating some sort of earsplitting sound. The piercing screech being emitted from the small storm hurt Beast Boy's ears, makes him drop to his knees. Scrap paper on the streets and detritus everywhere was lifted up to join the whirlwind of dirt. It took all Beast Boy had to just stay where he was.
"Raven!" he yelled into the storm. "Raven!" Finally the tornado started to die down, and the whirlwind disappeared to reveal a very disheveled Raven, panting on all fours. Beast Boy rushed over to her.
"Oh god, Raven, are you ok?" Raven coughed and sputtered like a broken down car. "I-I'm fine…" She looked up at him. Beast Boy could see her eyes swimming with all different emotions. But one stood out the most. Fear.
"Are you sure? You look tired…and sad…and happy… and mad… and-" But he was cut off as Raven put one finger to his lips.
"Enough talking for now…" Beast Boy turned a deep shade of red.
"Sorry…" Raven just dismissed it with a wave of her hand and started getting up.
"So you're not going to eat me?" Raven suppressed laughter.
"No, Beast Boy… I'm not going to eat you…"
"Good!" Beast Boy got up and started cleaning up, well, everything. "I'm not going to eat you…" Raven's eyes turned red for one second again. "…not…just…yet…"
Back at the tower, everyone was going about their usual routine, but they all realized something was different than usual. Cyborg used to be playing on the game station with Beast Boy, the green, shape-shifting boy who seemed to be always backbiting with Raven. The non-feeling gothic girl who was always sitting on the couch, reading a book, and sipping herbal tea had always seemed to be somewhat comfortable. Starfire was always happily chattering away to Robin, who just sat there, smiling and laughing with her every once and a while. Usually tofu could be smelled, rotting away on the table, while a kettle used for herbal tea, warmed up the room. There were smiles on all faces as they went about their normal routine in the tower.
But now, there was no happy laughter from Starfire and Robin. There were no Beast Boy and Cyborg to be seen playing on the game station. There was not a single Raven in sight to be reading, sipping herbal tea, or fighting with Beast Boy. There was no rotten smell of tofu, there was no warm kettle steaming, and last of all, there were no smiles.
Instead there were frowns on all faces. Cyborg glumly picked at some food, every now and then tossing some ripped up and picked-apart paper into the garbage as a lame, tedious game. Robin and Star were sitting together, not talking, not laughing. Starfire's usual perkiness was replaced by sadness and her usual smile a melancholy face. Few tears ran down her cheeks as she put her head on Robin's shoulder. Her hiccups and sobs could be heard periodically echoing through the tower. Robin always tried to comfort her, but no avail. Robin himself was not speaking; he wasn't really doing anything at all, except stroking the alien girl's hair every now and then. Staring into the glum darkness, he sighed softly every now and then.
Beast Boy was not to be found, and his attempt to inject levity into all of the conversations was sorely missed. Even though Raven did not join in any games or talk with anyone, she was missed just as much. Her usual bickering with Beast Boy couldn't be heard within a mile, and dejection and desolation seemed to fill the dead air. Despondency overwhelmed the Teen Titans, causing grief and making hopelessness clear to them.
Finally, Starfire broke the dreaded silence, only to cause more grief.
"R-Rob-bin?" The Wonder boy looked down at the redhead, his dismal eyes saying to go on.
"D-do you th-think-k they-y'll ev-ver c-come b-back?" Starfire looked up to him. Cyborg turned his attention to the boy, and too, put on a some-what of a less depressed face that was identical to Star's.
Robin hesitated for quite a long while before speaking. "Beast Boy…yeah, sure he'll come back… Raven…" He paused as if something terrible was going to happen if he spoke the words he was about to. "I'm afraid… she won't…"
Starfire bust out into tears at this, sobbing and crying hysterically. Hiccups blocked her throat and her distress grew by the second. Her tears flew in all directions, soaking everyone and just making everybody sadder. She wailed so loudly, but they didn't care. They were just as sad as her, but they were too miserable to find time to show it. Cyborg handed the girl a tissue box. She continued bawling as the used the tissues to sop up her tears of distraught. Finally she stopped just enough to talk.
"B-but R-Robin… s-surely you d-do not-t speak-k the tr-truth?" the sobbing girl asked as she laid her head in her hands in grief.
"I'm afraid so Star… I'm afraid so…" At that she burst into sad tears again.
"Shhh… Star, it's ok… she'll probably come back… Sometime ... I hope…" Starfire sniffled.
"L-let us h-hope then-n…let-t us hope v-very hard…" She looked up at Robin and shed one last tear before starting to sob again.
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Day turned into night, and Raven was just setting her "bed" up. It was actually just a couple of blankets underneath her and a blanket on top for warmth. She looked up to the green boy.
"Beast Boy, are you going to go and sleep?" Raven asked, getting comfortable in her blankets. Beast Boy stared into the sky, absorbing the many wonders of the bright and luminous stars.
"Yeah… I'll be right there. I'm just enjoying this while I can… I don't usually get a view like this, you know?" He turned around and smiled. Warmth spread through Raven as a small grin swept over his face.
"I usually get just the city to look at… never the sky." He shuffled his feet, looking down. He gazed at Raven's face. "They should really make buildings shorter… It ruins the night sky to be looking at stars and to be seeing the outline of tall flat cement structures. You know, while the human race evolves and gets smarter as to buildings, technology, and stuff like that, they also devolve greatly. By making streets and building houses they destroy nature, the one thing that gives them air, water, and most of all, life." He smiled again and scoffed. "Enough with the small speech. Let's get to bed. I'm tired." He started to walk towards her.
Raven scoffed.
"I thought you were going back to the tower." Beast Boy stared at her.
"Why would I do that when I can be alone with you?" As soon as the words escape him he regretted he ever even thought of saying it. The girl resting back on her elbows below him was silent. What- what was that supposed to mean? Raven thought. Can he possibly- actually … like me back? She froze at that thought. No… he couldn't love some non-feeling gothic girl who never shows her emotions. Not one like me. She scoffed inwardly. He's too good for me. He'll probably find some care- free, fun, exciting girl who can express every feeling she'd ever want to. Not some girl who can't even be happy or sad. She sighed inside. Why did she have these powers? Why couldn't she live a normal, teenage life like most girls? Why can't she live a good life like everyone else? Why did she even have to be born? She sighed inwardly again. Some people don't know how lucky they are.
Raven was so caught up in her own thoughts and trying to sort everything out that she forgot that Beast Boy had ever said anything. She was trying too hard to get everything in her mind organized. Getting frustrated with her mind, she yelled a harsh note into the sky and growled. Then she noticed Beast Boy staring at her. She gave a feeble smile.
"Sorry. Getting caught up in my own small world." But Beast Boy wasn't thinking about her small outburst. He was thinking about what he had said. How could I have been so stupid as to actually say something like that? Oh, GOD I'm so stupid! Beast Boy thought furious with himself. Now she probably knows! Beast Boy, man you've got to do something! She probably thinks you like her! Finally, after consulting himself and his many sides, he plucked up the courage to say something.
"Raven?" The girl looked up at him.
"Yes?" Her voice was soft and some-what inviting.
"Uh, well…about… um…what I …uh…said…" Raven was clueless.
"What did you say?" Beast Boy sweat-dropped and snickered to himself quietly.
"Nothing. Forget about it." He started laying down Raven's extra blankets next to her, pausing to look at her, all comfortable and staring at the sky every once and a while. He finally finished, and getting under the blanket, he laid down on his back. Quietly, he spoke, trying to pass the minutes quickly, as to fall into a deep slumber.
"So…" That one word startled Raven.
"So…what?" she said. Beast Boy fixed his head to face Raven, and Raven did the same, except she turned her head to face Beast Boy, not herself. (A/N: LOL!!! If you don't get it, that's fine… -.- )
"So…are you really leaving?" Raven turned her head back to face the sky and sighed.
"Beast Boy, we've been over this a thousand times." He grinned.
"Then let this be the thousand and 1rst time." Inside, Raven really wanted to laugh, and laugh so hard at his corny jokes, but she could not. She was forbidden to do so. And that made her more than sad… more than just melancholy.
"Why don't you come back to the tower? It's everything you could possibly ever want? Isn't it?" Raven looked at him.
"No… It isn't…" Beast Boy was flustered.
"What?! Friends, shelter, food, a place where you can be comfortable! What else do you need?" Raven knew she couldn't tell him the real reason, so she found a way of telling him, without really telling him. (A/N: You'll get it soon enough.)
"I need one thing more… But it's not possible here, or anywhere else in the world. There is almost nothing for me anywhere if I can't have the one thing that can't be mine. And it's not possible. Not here, not at the tower, and not anywhere else. Yes, you and the Titans always were there for me, but here I have no actual family here. I have friends. And I'm too dangerous to be around. I feel one thing, and the whole tower could explode. I put my friends in danger by being their friend, and I don't like to hurt them. Sure, I can hurt my family too, but at least they don't make me feel as comfortable so that I will kill myself if they're hurt. I'll do that for any of the Titans, just because I feel so comfortable around them that I actually need them to survive. I need to hear the constant yelling of insults of Cyborg, I need to see Starfire's perkiness, I need to hear Robin's grunts as he trains, and most of all, I need you to be playing video games." Wow, Raven thought. That sounded weird.
She continued. "But I can learn to live without these things. I don't want to hurt you, or any of the Titans. For my family, unfortunately I can't say the same. I don't want to hurt anyone that close to me. You all know that my powers are too dangerous. I don't want to put you in danger. If I go back to Azarath, some teachers there can help me control my powers. Plus, there I don't have any friends to hurt." Raven sighed half-heartedly. "So, there you have it. The full 100% fool proof speech of why I'm no going back to the tower." Beast Boy was speechless. He hadn't expected a homily (speech) that long. He was only trying to make small talk with Raven until they fell asleep. Key word: SMALL.
"Then, Raven, what is the one thing you can't have no matter what? I'll get it for you if it's the last thing I do." Raven didn't know what to say.
"Beast Boy, you wouldn't understand it. I want it, but I don't want it… because of one reason. One reason that you can't get rid of no matter what, unless you kill me."
"And what is that reason?" Raven opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She closed it. After a few minutes of consulting herself, she decided to tell him. Besides, she thought, what harm could it do?
"My…powers…" Beast Boy sighed. It always came back to her powers. No matter what happens, it always comes back to that.
"Is there any way you can get rid of them?" Stupid question, he thought, but it was worth a try.
"There is one way…" She trailed off. Beast Boy sat with baited breath, waiting for the answer.
"Well?" he said.
"You kill me." She said it bluntly. Beast Boy showed a plethora of disappointment. Then he grinned and turned to her.
"May I have permission to kill you?" Raven almost let go and laughed. But she didn't. He could have gotten hurt. After all, the slightest feeling did set off her powers. So she didn't laugh. Instead she just smiled slightly.
"No, you may not. I'd like to live, thank you very much." After that, silence, sweet silence came knocking. It overwhelmed them, calming Raven, but scaring Beast Boy. He turned away so that his back faced Raven.
"I n-need play- station…" he whispered into his blanket, shivering with cold. "I n-need tofu… I need a-a n-nice and w-warm, cozy bed t-to s-sleep in… I-I n-need my t-teddy bear… Mr. Snuggles, where are you?" (A/N: LOL!) Raven rolled her eyes and turned to face him.
"See? You're better off in the tower."
"N-no, I'm n-not-t! I'll s-stay h-here w-with y-you!" Beast Boy rolled on his side so that his back was facing Raven. He let out one last plea for his precious belongings.
"Blankie," he whimpered. "Come to Papa." With that he broke out in silent hiccups, sniffing quietly every now and then.
Raven was seriously trying not to break out in laughter and laugh so hard her sides will fall off. Oh god, she thought. It's taking all I've got not to burst out laughing so hard… I mean, this is HILARIOUS!! She silently apologized to Beast Boy. Sorry, it's just too funny! Her stomach was vibrating from keeping too much laughter in. Tears started to roll down her cheeks as Beast Boy let out another cry.
"I n-need m-my fluffy green fuzzy p-pajamas…" He hiccupped. "I-I n-need the cute l-little d-dinosaur p-pattern…"
Raven could not contain herself any longer. So she malingered.
"Beast Boy, I'm feeling sick." With that she rushed out to some bushes and took cover underneath them. Humungous amounts of laughter erupted. Her eyes were fountains, and Niagra Falls was a tiny stream compared to her (at that time). Her eyes were closed, not wanting to see the horror of a mess she made. Whenever she stopped, she would just think of his words, and, Niagra Falls, here she came. Her stomach was shaking like there was no tomorrow.
"Oh, god," she chuckled after she had gotten her fill of laughter for then. She sighed. Then gasped. The bush had melted.
Her face grew serious. Then she started laughing quietly again.
"I-I'm so s-sorry! I c-can exp-plain!" she said between small amounts of clumped-together laughter. "It was just too funny!" Beast Boy stared at her like she had seven heads, twenty-one eyes, and seventy-two tentacles for legs. (A/N: It was the only thing I could think of right then.)
"You lied. You said you felt sick." Raven became what she thought she would never become. A… (A/N: Brace yourselves…) smart -aleck. (A/N: DUN, DUN, DUN!!! I'm evil!)
"Technically, I was sick. Sick from containing too much laughter!" Beast Boy looked sort of disappointed in her.
"I thought that you were one of those girls who always had respect for other people and their feelings." He gave an almost disgusted scoff. "To think I actually considered liking you." Deep down inside, he knew he was lying. He knew that since he first met this amazing girl, he knew that he more than considered, in fact, more than even knew that he liked her…and…one day might even… love her… But that was beside the point. She laughed at him, his needs, and that…that was almost unforgivable… He sighed. Why did this have to happen to him? His life was a joke. He was so…sad…disappointed…and no one could feel what he was feeling right then. No one.
Raven was despondent. Her laughter seemed so bad now, and she could hardly contain her tears. Beast Boy hated her. Finally, with a shaky voice, she whispered some abject apologies.
"Look, I'm sorry Beast Boy… Besides, I wasn't entirely thinking about you when I was laughing." Raven would do anything to get his mind off of this subject. For now at least. She wanted to get off of this subject, the one subject that she hated most: Beast Boy's hate for her.
Beast Boy's ears perked up.
"What else were you thinking about?" Raven gasped a small and soft gasp.
"Oh geez… I slipped. Just forget I ever said anything, all right?" she said, getting back into her "bed". Beast Boy had long forgotten about her laughter by now. He looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Tell me? Please?" He gave her "the face". Raven turned around for one second and smiled. Her plan was working. He was already giving in and forgetting about her laughter. And she was already forgetting about his hate.
"Fine. But only if you forgive me."
"Ok! Ok! I'll forgive you! Just tell me!" Raven smiled inside. Perfect. She sighed inside. He's so cute the way he has to know everything. Unfortunately, everyone can use that against him… like you are right now her conscience came into the picture. I'm not using that against him. I'm using it for my own good so that I can forget about him hating me. So there. Her conscience seemed to have fled in embarrassment. Raven turned back to the current situation. Remembering she was supposed to tell him, she spoke.
"Ok, well the reason- the other reason for- wait, but if I tell you, if I don't you'll be crushed." Beast Boy sulked. Then brightened a bit.
"No, I won't!" Raven sighed.
"Fine. Your funeral." She took a breath. "I was thinking about the idea that…" Beast Boy waited for the answer like a starving dog would wait for a meal.
"I am actually considering to go back to the tower." Raven sighed softly. She knew what was going to happen now. "There. Now I've said it. You happy now? You've got your answer." Beast Boy's face brightened like he was a light bulb who was just turned on to full power. He turned into a cute little kitty (the one he uses for "the face") and jumped into Raven's arms. He nuzzled against her.
Raven, almost surprised at this action, almost dropped him. But after a while of fumbling with the green cat, she held onto him, stroking his head and making him purr. I thought this would happen. And guess what? I was right. She smiled to herself looked down at him.
"Now don't be sad if I do decide to leave. We agreed on that." His cathead nodded. He purred softly and closed his olive-green eyes. Rubbing his head against her, he saw that Raven was looking really happy. He grinned inside. She likes having me in her arms! He thought. Beaming inwardly, he opened his eyes and smiled up at her. Raven gave a small smile at seeing that. She stroked his soft fur, feeling relaxed at caressing the green velvety coat. Beast Boy sighed inwardly. This is as close as to another kiss with her as I'll ever get, he thought.
Coincidentally, Raven had chosen to pick at some of his thoughts at that same time. She had wondered what he was thinking about, so she had been poking at his mind, getting some words here and there. Once finished, she read the message over. She gasped at it. She didn't get the whole message. What she really got was: This-as close- another kiss-her- as I'll- get. Raven gasped again. Her eyes were swimming with fear, concern, and most of all… love… She dropped the cat to the ground at the shock. Her mouth was slightly agape, and her eyes were full of terror and shock. Beast Boy quickly saw this and reverted back to his normal form. He recovered from the ground and scrambled to his feet.
"Raven! Are you ok?" Raven just stood there, frozen from the big shock. Color was drained from her face, as if she had seen a ghost or a ghost had entered her. Beast Boy shook her.
"Raven!" He took her hand, but it just slid back down to her side. Slowly, as Raven began to realize that it was just a coincidence and she had been hallucinating, she began to regain consciousness, and some color came back to her face. She felt for Beast Boy's hand, still dazed. Finally she found it, and grasping it, she slowly recovered. She blinked and the fear was gone. Her face returned to its normal state, and her eyes were once again cold. Her mouth closed and she dropped Beast Boy's hand.
"I'm sorry Beast Boy… I was…thinking about something else…" She turned away. Her face regained its state of terror. Oh lord, what have I gotten myself into? She asked herself. Hallucination is the last thing I've been expecting. Deep down inside she knew she was probably lying to herself. First, she knew that Beast Boy could make her do more than hallucinate. Second, she knew that it was probably real thoughts and not her hallucinations. She sighed inwardly.
Then, breathing heavily, she calmed herself and turned back to Beast Boy. He was sulking. He brightened when she turned back around.
"I guess we'd better get to bed, huh?" he said. Raven nodded slightly.
"Yes…we've wasted enough time." Beast Boy's heart saddened. Was that really wasting time to her? He countered his thoughts. Maybe she was just covering it up. Yup. Maybe she was tired so she wanted to get to sleep. Yes. That's the answer. He smiled, content with his thoughts. Getting into his blankets, he thought more about Raven, the only girl he's ever really loved or ever will love. His mind froze. Love? He thought. Could it be really love? I mean, sure, I've had a crush on her since, like ever, but had it really turned into…love?
Meanwhile, Raven had been set up and ready to sleep. Boy had it been a long day. Oh, had it been a long day. Whew. So much excitement. Too much excitement. Running from three robbers, ALMOST eating Beast Boy, and finally, sleeping on the streets with Beast Boy beside her. Going through the day was too much to do right then. She was exhausted Oh, god, when will the madness stop? She avidly thought about the day's events, but each time always coming back to the thought of Beast Boy. The world is so crazy, she thought. Too crazy. She sighed softly. She looked over at the green boy. Why does he make me feel this way? He's just a boy. And he will always be just a boy. Content with her thoughts, she continued getting back into bed.
"So this means you're going back?" Raven sighed. More trouble. She turned to face him.
"I said that I would consider it." She sighed. "And I will." On Azarath, she added silently to herself. Beast Boy shrugged.
"Ok." He snuggled into his blankets. "Good night, Raven."
"Good night, Beast Boy." Raven thought about how good breakfast would taste in the morning. Aah! What am I thinking? She asked herself. She sighed. It's nothing.
After, they both willingly drifted off to swarms of thoughts about each other, smiling and thinking about what it would be like to hold that one person in their arms and just tell them how much they loved them. Slowly, one by one, they drifted off to sleep, dreaming about each other.
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Back at the tower, everyone was getting ready for bed. Cyborg plugged himself into the outlet in the wall of his room, while Starfire rested her feet on her pillow. Robin yelled a sad "good night" to everyone as he got ready to take off to dreamland. Starfire glumly said her pleasantries and hung her head over the edge of her round bed. Cy's "good night" was not clear, seeing as he had already begun to shut down. And at last, the great tower was silent. (With the exception of a few snores here and there.)
A/N: So, how was it? Long? Yeah, it's my all time record of 4,612 words! Anyway, review please!