Chapter 6 – A Surprising Proposition

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There was already a daybed in the office at Willie's house so it could be used as a last resort guest room, so that was where they put Alex's stuff, Willie's grandma helping them clear out part of the ancient wardrobe in the corner so Alex would have a place to hang his nicer clothes. There were talks of purchasing storage cubbies for his other things, and his drum set was already in the studio so that was safe, but it was still a lot to process in a short amount of time. This was Alex's life now. This was where he would live, and if – when – they became rich and famous, Willie and his grandma would be the ones written in Alex's will, because like hell was he going to let any part of his legacy be attached to homophobic bigots.

Bobby stayed with him the entire time, Willie and Gran going in and out of the room to get different things, to make lists, to adjust. Alex already knew he was going to be a big strain on their already limited income, so he was brainstorming potential after school jobs. There had to be something. Alex worried about it, but Bobby was there to calm him down when he got too worked up, the rhythm guitarist quick to offer him hugs and enforce breaks when he thought it was needed.

In a way, Alex had been preparing for this for a long time. He hadn't realized that until he was out of his parents' house, but a small part of him had one foot out the door the moment he realized his sexuality. A few years ago he'd been testing the waters, trying to employ tactics to see if he could garner some sort of sympathy or positive emotions in regards to homosexuality from his parents. They were Christian, right? Christians were supposed to love their neighbors. They were supposed to be kind.

Figured that would be the one rule where his parents chose to be hypocrites.

It didn't matter, it was behind him now. He wasn't alone in this, that was the important part. He'd already called Kayla, emailing her a link to the conversation recording. She agreed that things didn't sound dire but she had her mom on standby just in case anyway. Best to not get blindsided by these things. California had laws that banned the practice of conversion therapy against minors, but his parents were comfortably middle class. If they had to, they could send him to another state.

Two years. He just needed to wait two years and then he'd be completely free of their influence and he could make a will to cut them out of his life, file the appropriate paperwork to give medical authority over him to Willie in times of crisis.

He would live by his own rules, and his parents would have no say in it.

It was a lot. But it was a good lot – a cleansing, therapeutic one. Bobby seemed to get that with his quiet support, wordlessly passing Alex tissues when he needed them. Not saying anything when Alex just needed to sit in silence for a bit to breathe, trying to cut off the panic attack at the pass.

And then Willie was poking his head through the doorway.

"So, uh- here's the thing," Willie said, making Alex's stomach go tight with knots. "I alerted the group that you're moving in, like we agreed." Because Alex wanted them to know but didn't have the strength to do it himself. "I didn't say why, but they've all seen the video and they can on occasion, unfortunately, be sharp enough to put the pieces together, so uh- yeah, they might have partially figured it out. And in their infinite wisdom, they may or may not have decided that a spontaneous party was necessary to celebrate um- you. So…"

He trailed off, and it was Bobby who cut in. "Are you saying they're all here?"

"They have taken over the living room," Willie confirmed solemnly. "Nai Nai's holding down the kitchen, but she's always been soft on Julie and Reggie, so it's just a matter of time before that falls too."

"Oh," Alex said, because he couldn't muster the energy to form some kind of meaningful response.

He guessed- after what he'd done to Reggie, he was pretty sure none of them would want to talk to him for a while. Like, they'd already not been talking to him, and that was before Alex had started making drugged out moves on people. Surely he hadn't done anything recently to earn brownie points.

Brownies, ugh – now they were ruined for him too.

Bobby eyed him carefully. "Do you want us to tell them to go?"

Alex startled, not realizing that was an option. He hadn't considered it, mostly because he was the flavor of pathetic that he wanted to be around Luke even if the guy was only going to yell at him. He wanted that now, even with the fresh wound of his parents. Even if everyone else would be there to watch.

"No," Alex said, forcing himself to get up. "No, they came all this way."

"Dude," Willie began, quirking a brow at him. "They're nosy, spastic nerds. I can easily banish them."

"I'm telling them you said that," Bobby said, likely in an effort to buy Alex time.

"Please do," Willie chuckled, effortlessly easing the tension in the room because he was Willie, and that was what Willie did.

"I… I want to see them," Alex decided, realizing he didn't want to wallow anymore. He really needed to talk to Reggie too, but if the guy wasn't ready for it, Alex wasn't going to push him.

They had time. Hopefully.

"Alright then," Willie said, pushing the door completely open. "If you change your mind and need to retreat, none of us would be offended."

"Cool." Alex was more grateful than he could express.

And just like that, Willie was leading them into the living room, the small space somehow not feeling cramped despite the fact that three bands' worth of people had invaded it (and the kitchen, which had fallen in Willie's absence) – The Phantoms, Sunset Curve, and Dirty Candy showing up in full force.

Kayla was the one who greeted him first, his fake girlfriend having strategically positioned herself by the hallway entrance. "Hey," she said. "I went ahead and explained the whole pot brownie thing. Figured you wouldn't mind."

"I do not," Alex confirmed, feeling embarrassed for that all over again.

Now he knew that even the food at parties wasn't safe. Or at least the brownies. He'd have to check some sort of list to determine what kind of other baked goods were most viable for having weed laced in them, avoid them too.

"Are you okay?" Julie asked, the next person to approach them, an apprehensive Flynn on her heels.

They were all worried, was the thing. Worried but concerned and supportive. They'd come, and that meant a lot, and they'd even- they brought food – safe food, and soda and themselves, all for Alex.

For a moment, he allowed himself to soak that in, almost feeling overwhelmed with the support network he'd been fortunate enough to build up.

"I've been better," he answered honestly, Julie giving him a sad look.

And this was… it was good, but these people – the ones that cared about him the most – he wanted to be honest with them.

So Alex cleared his throat. "Um- everyone?" he said, raising his voice to break up the polite conversations everyone was holding, mostly in a bid to give Alex some privacy. "Right, so… I'm gay." That made more than one person pause, which he guessed was sort of flattering. "I told my parents and they didn't take it well, so-"

"So now I get to hoard Alex all to myself," Willie said, throwing an arm around Alex's neck.

"For the record, I already knew about this." Kayla graciously came in with the save, and just like that the floodgates were released, Alex passed from group to group while they babbled out questions.

"Holy fuck," Carrie said when he got to her, Blue and Orange Candies hovering nearby. "I'm so sorry Alex. No wonder you didn't pick up on any of your band's sexual tension, you had a shit ton of other stuff to deal with."

"And that's why you dated Kayla?" Flynn asked. "To keep your parents off your back?"

"It was mutually beneficial," Alex admitted with a weak shrug. "Though I guess it's not anymore."

"Nonsense." Kayla swiped at his bicep. "Gay or not, you're still the best boyfriend I could have."

"If anything, I think the gay thing makes you even better," Yellow Candy offered consolingly.

"I still can't believe how good you are at passing for a straight guy," Flynn admitted, running a dazed hand over her head.

"Um- thanks?" Alex said, slightly alarmed by all the people who nodded in agreement.

Apparently he was a way better actor than he'd thought. It was sort of crazy.

He made his rounds while the party officially started up, eventually lingering near the sliding doors to the back porch. He'd seen Luke and Reggie disappear outside shortly after everyone had commended Alex's ability to pass for straight. This was probably super conflicting for them. Or at least for Luke, who'd been mad at Alex for so long. Who was likely still mad at Alex, because the band generally didn't keep secrets from each other and this was- it was a pretty huge secret.

And then there was Reggie, who Alex had practically assaulted, huddled in Nai Nai's favorite lawn chair, gazing distractedly out into the distance.

It was now or never.

Alex slipped into the backyard, Bobby half a second behind him, closing the door to allow them some measure of privacy.

Luke had startled to a halt at the first sign of movement, his gaze wide as he considered Alex.

The blond tried to clear his throat, everything feeling unbearably tight. "I'm- I'm so sorry-"

He got about that far before he was blitzed with a classic Luke Patterson hug, the lead guitarist throwing his entire being into it, more or less burying his face in Alex's chest. "You're sorry?" Luke gushed, looking up at Alex with wide, wet eyes. "Dude, you've been fucking- this entire time, and I've just been acting like a major asshat – and even that was stupid when I thought you were straight, but now it's worse, and- you don't have anything to apologize for," Luke pressed, getting determined. "I do. I do a lot. But you don't."

It was a fight to keep from tearing up again, Alex almost wanting to sob with relief because Luke was there and Luke wasn't mad at him anymore and he was weak enough to admit that was honestly all he needed. "But um- Reggie," Alex said, his voice tight. "I was all gross and stuff-"

"You were drugged," Reggie urged, and then he was throwing himself into their huddle too, holding on just as tight as Luke. "I know you didn't- you wouldn't have done that on purpose-"

"I wouldn't," Alex urged. "I never want to put you in a position like that, Reggie. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me-"

"I don't," Reggie said, his eyes wide. "I don't, Alex. I couldn't."

"You're Alex," Luke added, as though that explained it all.

It was so nice compared to the cold shoulder he'd been getting from Luke, the weeks of guilt and feelings of worthlessness eased with the comfort he'd been so desperate for.

It broke him, Alex unable to choke back a sob until he leaned into their hold.

"Alex." Luke's tone was wounded, but Alex knew it wasn't aimed at him. "I'm sorry I've been such a butt."

Normally, that would make Alex laugh, but he could only cry this time around, something in him easing when Bobby wrapped around his back. "I'm s-sorry I didn't tell you," Alex gasped. "About Kayla. About being- being gay. I just-" He shuddered. "I was so scared. And then she offered and I just- I didn't want to feel like the odd one out anymore, so I didn't say anything-"

"Aw pumpkin, no," Luke cooed, hastily wiping at Alex's cheeks. "That's- it's totally fair to want that. I've just been- I had my head up my ass, okay? You didn't do anything wrong but I saw you spending time with someone who wasn't us and I got all… really stupid."

Alex let out a wet laugh at that. "I always want to spend time with you guys," he admitted. "You're my favorites. I just-"

He didn't know what to say, breaking off in another quiet sob, but they simply held him close.

"It's okay," Reggie soothed, nuzzling his shoulder. "You've been going through a lot, but um- we're gonna be better friends now, okay Alex? We're gonna be the friends you deserve."

"Let me grovel, please," Luke added, an open sweetness in his tone that made Alex shiver. "Let me grovel for a million years."

"Okay." Alex hugged all of them tight. "Okay, if you insist."

"We do." And just like that, all the weeks of cold shoulders and avoidance and hyper criticisms were gone. They knew he was gay and the world hadn't ended. Knew his relationship with Kayla was fake and they weren't mad. Reggie wasn't mad.

It might not be everything he wanted, but it was enough that Alex could easily make do.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Luke hadn't been kidding about groveling. Now that he'd been given the all clear and understood the full extent of Alex's relationship, he was all in on making things up to Alex – Reggie and Bobby occasionally pitching in with determined expressions that made Alex's heart ache.

"We enabled it," Bobby explained, running a distracted hand through his hair. They had taken a break from rehearsal so Luke and Reggie could make smoothies, the other two insistent on this treat because they knew Alex liked them but thought they were too involved to ever ask for them. "Luke, I mean." He shrugged his shoulders in a bashful movement, looking off to the side. "I'll admit, the thing with Kayla really threw us. Since you've never been interested in dating before. In hindsight, it being a business thing makes way more sense, and we should have seen that." Bobby sighed. "But instead we just let you feel terrible for doing something that was entirely reasonable, business deal or not."

"I'm um- glad you acknowledge that," Alex said, getting a little better at sticking up for himself. Both Kayla and Willie had been coaching him through it, knowing that he'd need thick skin when they returned to school on Monday. "It was really fucking shitty, Bobby. I felt awful."

"I'm sorry," Bobby repeated, and while they both knew Luke had been the main instigator, it was Alex and Bobby who were the voices of reason for Sunset Curve. They were the ones who were supposed to keep the others in check and Bobby had failed that duty.

He must have been really off balance, now that Alex thought about it. It wasn't like Bobby had allowed it to fester on purpose, even if it had felt that way during Alex's lower moments.

Further conversation was interrupted by the return of Luke and Reggie, the lead singer holding the drink tray high. "Who wants smoothies?!"

"And cuddles!" Reggie added, and then they did just that, the four of them watching a show on Netflix that was the platform's equivalent to Project Runway, which usually felt like pulling teeth to get them to do so with minimal complaints.

"I should be ostracized more often," Alex said, striving for a joke to lighten the mood, but then Luke and Reggie seemed so stricken that he was immediately apologizing, which made them apologize, until it was an apologetic circle that ended in Bobby forcefully urging them to drink their smoothies before they completely melted.

While Alex was sorry that Luke and the others felt guilty, he would admit he enjoyed the pampering. At the very least, it was a nice distraction from the fact that his parents wanted nothing to do with him.

Before school on Monday, both Luke and Bobby had approached Alex with containers full of cookies they'd baked with their mom and grandmother respectively, both of them sending each other confused looks because apparently it hadn't been a coordinated effort. Reggie tentatively placed a Snickers bar he'd gotten from the vending machine on top of the two containers as his offering, and Alex's heart felt so full that he immediately pulled them into a group hug.

These guys. They were going to be the death of him one day, truly.

The morning passed the same as usual, Alex making his usual stops by Kayla's locker for selfies and social media posts. They'd decided to hold onto the whole dating thing, playing it off as Kayla having known his sexuality all along. She and Alex had been catching up when the first guy approached her, some jock with enough body spray to make Alex's nose hurt.

"Get lost, Kent," Kayla said before he even opened his mouth. "I'm a taken woman."

"Dude," the guy – Kent, apparently – said. "Your boyfriend's gay."

It hadn't really been confirmed yet, which meant Kent had been sent forth as the sacrificial lamb to confirm it. It wasn't like it was a huge town, people noticed things. The video connected with the fact that Alex hadn't gone to church with his family on Sunday (and wasn't that a bizarre feeling, to sleep in on a Sunday?) spoke volumes in itself. Yeah, it could be played off as Alex being bisexual, but the fact was he'd never so much as pretended to kiss Kayla in public, and he'd definitely marked up Reggie's neck at a party. That really spoke for itself.

Alex kept his expression bored and neutral, the way Kayla had taught him to, despite the new tightness in his chest.

Kayla slammed her locker shut with a casual flick of her wrist. "So?" she said, making Kent startle. "He's still my boyfriend."

It was a simple statement, and yet somehow, it seemed like they had rocked Kent's world. "I…" Kent began, looking back and forth between them with wide eyes, Alex allowing himself to quirk an amused brow. "But- he's gay!" he managed, sounding offended. "He can't treat you like a real man."

"You wouldn't know what a real man was if he punched you in the face," Alex muttered, keeping a comfortable arm wrapped around Kayla's shoulders.

"Which is fortunate, because you're looking at one," Kayla hummed, leaning into Alex. "And who knows when he'll start to feel punchy."

"Could be right now," Alex added with a smirk.

Kent did not know what to do with this information, and Kayla was kind enough to take pity on his dumb brain.

"It's not hard, Kent," Kayla began in a bored drawl. "The guys at this school aren't exactly catches, but Alex was kind enough to pity date me and let me get a taste of a good boyfriend." She waved him away with a bored flick of her hand. "Your services are not required here, get lost."

Kent, for lack of anything else to do, promptly got lost.

And just like that, it was over.

News of the confrontation spread like wild fire, enough that neither Kayla nor Alex was approached by anyone else.

"You're gay?" Alex's lab partner had asked, her brows furrowed in confusion. "Like, gay gay?"

"Is there any other kind?" Alex countered, genuinely curious.

He shared the fruits of Luke and Bobby's labors at lunch, making sure Reggie had a neat napkin stacked with cookies because he was still too thin for Alex's liking, and also because he deserved cookies.

"They're yours," Reggie grumbled, dragging the napkin cookie pile closer to himself with a bashful flush.

"Which means I can do what I want with them," Alex declared before foisting more cookies off onto Luke and Bobby.

If he was allowed to mother hen again, he was going all in.

"And no one else has bothered you?" Luke asked, watching Alex carefully. "If anyone does, just give me their names and I'll take care of it."

"Yeah, you're definitely not doing that," Alex said, remembering the one time Luke had gotten suspended for defending Reggie's honor. They hadn't been able to perform any gigs for weeks after that, Luke's mom had been so mad. "I'm fine, Luke. I promise."

"You have to let me know if that changes," Luke urged, his eyes shining with the same passion he used to approach all his songs.

It was nice to be under the weight of that focus again. Nice that Luke cared about him. It proved that despite all that Alex had lost, he'd gained a lot too, and being out at school was really nice. There was no more lying. No more girls approaching him with hopeful expressions. No more having to feign interest in ladies. No more cold shoulders.

It was just Alex and his friends and his band, and that was enough for him. Honestly.

-:-:-:-:-:-

From across the studio, Luke was pinning Alex in place with a contemplative look that Alex was justifiably wary over due to a healthy sense of self preservation. That particular expression had rarely meant good things for him. Combine that with the fact that it was just the two of them in the studio right now – Bobby and Reggie up in the former's bedroom reviewing for Reggie's upcoming math test (the bassist tended to be worse at studying when he had an audience, no matter how supportive it was) – and it was a recipe for disaster, Luke without Bobby there to act as a measure of restraint and Alex too socially awkward to enforce such things himself.

He'd just gotten the others back on good terms, he wasn't going to push things, not for himself.

If Luke knew that, he wouldn't take advantage of it, which was how Alex knew this contemplative expression was the result of something Luke had likely hyper-fixated on without actually telling any of the others. They would have warned him off it by now otherwise.

Alex had been rereading the same sentence for the past three minutes without absorbing anything, the blond too aware of Luke's gaze locked on him. He knew the brunette wasn't doing it on purpose, that if he knew he was being unnerving he would have stopped, but he was half in dreamland, lost to his own schemes. If Alex wanted him to snap out of it, he'd have to instigate conversation himself (which would likely lead to catastrophe) or just learn to bear with it (which would also lead to catastrophe, because things had been going too well for him and he was due an upset).

Eventually, Luke cleared his throat. "You're a respectful dude."

"Yeah?" Alex paused, grateful for the opportunity to halt the work he wasn't doing anyway, though that faded when he registered Luke's words. Was this another criticism? He couldn't handle that from Luke again, not so soon. He thought they were past this.

"I mean- shit, please don't wear that face," Luke babbled, realizing what he'd implied. "I didn't mean it like that, Alex, I mean- I meant that- shit, I'm not doing this well at all."

"O…kay?" Alex said, watching as Luke dragged a frustrated hand though his hair. Had Luke meant it as a compliment?

"Can I start over?" Luke asked, and when Alex waved him on, curious despite himself, Luke nodded. "Okay, so like – you're a respectful dude. You respect boundaries and um- established lines or whatever, and that's totally awesome because you're totally awesome and I have nothing but support for this."

"Okay," Alex repeated, a small smile pulling at his lips in response to the way Luke rushed to reassure him. It was nice.

"So like…" Luke continued. "When you were um- high-" Ah hell. Ah, damn everything and everyone, of course it would come back to that. "You did- there was all that stuff with Reggie." Luke wasn't looking at him at this point, though for whatever reason he was the one that seemed bashfully flushed when it was Alex who should want to melt into the ground and never be seen again. Which he did, for the record. "He sort of glossed over a lot, but he mentioned you saying that you loved him and I- I have this theory."

Alex had resolved to stare a hole through his bass drum, deciding that this was a very respectable and necessary action he should dedicate his life to. Totally feasible. The best use of his time.

Luke cleared his throat, seeming content to fill the empty space of Alex's non-replies, because Alex was busy with the very important task of glaring a hole through his drum set. "Alex, if you liked Reggie-" Death, death, bring him death. "That would be… cool."

There was a long, terrible beat.

It took a lot for Alex to convince himself to glance in Luke's direction, and when he did, the brunette was eyeing him… hopefully?

No, Alex couldn't be reading that right.

"What?" Alex asked, wondering if he'd misheard Luke.

The brunette's throat bobbed in a swallow. "If you liked him," Luke repeated. "Like, like liked him-" Had they returned to third grade at some point? Had Alex missed that? "That would be cool."

"I heard that," Alex regretfully admitted. "I was just hoping for more context."

Luke's cheeks darkened with an embarrassed flush, and Alex couldn't even dwell on the depiction of bashful Luke, who he almost never saw, because he was so confused. "Reggie likes you too," Luke explained. "And I think- I mean, if you were interested- I could talk it out with them, but I don't think Bobby or I would be mad if you and Reggie dated."

Alex blinked dumbly. Of course Reggie liked him, Reggie liked everyone, but Luke was implying Reggie liked him, that Reggie wanted to date him, which Alex was almost certain was eight thousand percent incorrect.

"He'd still date us, though," Luke continued. "He'd just also date you. If you wanted."

This, Alex decided, was classic Luke nonsense.

"They'd never go for that," Alex decided. "And Reggie doesn't want to date me."

"Reggie super wants to date you!" Luke burst with such ferocity that Alex jolted back against the couch. Luke wasn't done of course, now that he'd gotten started he was across the room in an instant, climbing onto the couch and into Alex's space in an effort to sufficiently explain his belief of Reggie's attractions. "He does. He had a crush on you and like, you know, felt bad because he thought you were straight but then the whole high thing and- you don't believe me." Luke recognized this with a blink, and a distant, hysterical part of Alex couldn't help but be proud of Luke's rarely-witnessed perception coming into play. "Come on," Luke declared, and then he was grabbing Alex's hand, yanking him up off the couch and out of the studio in a blur of movement.

By the time Alex's brain had caught up to the proceedings, they were halfway up the stairs and almost to Bobby's room.

"Luke," Alex hissed, pulling the brunette to a halt at the top of the stairs. Luke might be a buff little muscle guy but Alex had half a head on him and very little pride. If Luke wanted to make any further progress, he was going to have to drag Alex, potentially kicking and screaming. "Reggie's studying for a test. We can't distract him with this nonsense."

"But he'd want to know!" Luke insisted, frowning at the way Alex leaned away from him. "Alex, just trust me."

"I trust you." Unfortunately, forever, come hell or high water, Alex trusted Luke Patterson. "But this is- why would you even want your boyfriend to date another guy anyway?"

"It's not just some other guy," Luke huffed, like Alex was completely missing the point. "It's you. You're Alex, of course we'd want Reggie to date you."

But they wouldn't want to date Alex themselves, which just- that was not a depressing train of thought he'd been particularly missing, but all of this- it implied that maybe Reggie, at least, had been attracted to him. That Reggie had given up on him as straight, and that was- even that alone was overwhelming, but mostly Alex wanted to go back to his new room and hide under the covers while he processed the deeper implications of one of his crushes actually returning his feelings.

It was lunacy.

"Luke," Alex sighed, because he had to. This was a recipe for disaster, he'd known it. "This is weird even for us, just let it go."

"Never."

"Luke."

Alex was leaning back and Luke was trying to drag him forward and Alex was pretty sure their tug-of-war was going to end with one of them tumbling down the stairs.

"Why are you being so fussy?" Luke groused through clenched teeth. "This is a good idea!"

"No it's not," Alex hissed. "Let's just go back-"

"So you don't like Reggie?"

"I didn't say that," Alex muttered, his cheeks flaring hot because he'd been found out, it was over, to the stairs he went. Maybe he'd break something. He didn't know if that would buy him space from Luke but it was worth a try. "But-"

"No buts."

"What are you guys doing?" Bobby asked, because they hadn't been as quiet as they'd like, both Bobby and Reggie peeking out the door of Bobby's room, wearing twin looks of confusion.

"Um," Luke said, and then they promptly lost their balance, the two of them tumbling back down the stairs.

Alex landed with a thud, Luke groaning beside him, and while Alex distantly heard the other two approach, he was mostly distracted by the fact that he had no serious wounds to distract the others with. Like, a bruised nose would have been great, was all he was saying.

"Ow," Luke whined from beside him, like it wasn't all his fault.

"Shut up, Luke," Alex huffed, gratefully accepting Bobby's hand while the other teen helped him off the floor.

So yeah, that could have gone better.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Endnotes:

Hey, a cliffhanger that isn't riddled with angst? Isn't that nice? ;D

Until next time :)