Chapter 9 – Finally Free

-:-:-:-:-:-

There were handful of potential fallouts Alex had expected from his little confession, some more detrimental and soul crushing than others. Despite his forethought, come school the next day, none of these fallouts came to be. Which in a way should have been expected because this involved Luke, and Luke was forever and always an agent of unpredictable chaos. It was one of the things Alex liked about him.

"So… nothing?" Kayla asked, Alex's fake girlfriend updated on the situation the moment Willie had decided Alex had received enough cuddles. At school, they had diverted from their usual path to find a private place to converse, which for whatever reason had earned Alex more stink eyes than not. Like it was his fault the straight guys in the school weren't worthy of Kayla.

"Like nothing ever happened," Alex said, worrying at his bottom lip.

Bobby and Reggie had treated him exactly as they had any other day, Bobby giving his condolences for a problem at Nai Nai's place that Alex had been entirely confused by before he realized that Luke must have lied for him. Reggie was no more clingy than usual since they were in public, and there was a slight furrow in his brow when he asked if Alex's phone had died last night.

Seeing as Alex hadn't had the strength to so much as look at the few texts they'd send him, Alex quickly confirmed this lie, giving both of them an apology hug before moving on with his life.

Okay then.

"He didn't tell them?" Kayla pressed, seeming as confused by this as Alex, which was a bit of a comfort. Of the two of them, Kayla was significantly more adept at navigating social situations, so the fact that she didn't seem to know what was going on either was a relief, but also anxiety-inducing, because it meant that any substantial answer was that much further from reach.

"I guess he didn't want to make things awkward for me," Alex hazarded. Considering Luke's sporadic and somewhat manic behavior towards Alex in regards to the whole fake-dating thing, it would be understandable for the singer to try and make things up to Alex. Try to lessen the blow to his pride.

Ultimately, Alex wasn't sure if that was a kindness or not. Getting things out in the open would provide a certain amount of closure, but getting a distinct and unquestionable confirmation from Bobby that he wasn't attracted to Alex also seemed especially devastating.

"I thought maybe he'd want to talk about things, though," Alex continued, running a distracted hand through his hair. "But nothing."

Not so much as a panicked look or nervous twitch. Luke had thrown himself into behaving exactly as he normally would have with such intensity that it had Bobby making moon eyes at the singer, not that Alex blamed him. Were he allowed the privilege, he would indulge in that as well.

As it was, he would gladly celebrate the wonder that was Reggie instead, because he'd already been allowed more than he deserved, and that was a gift in itself.

"That's not too much of a surprise," Kayla huffed, her eyes narrowed in contemplation. "Luke doesn't really do feelings. It's a wonder those three managed to get together at all. I highly suspect that was Bobby's doing, and only because he was at the end of his rope and felt it was going to come out one way or another."

"It's very romantic," Alex said, trying not to sound bitter.

Kayla offered him a sympathetic look and then, when that only worsened the situation, a sympathetic piece of chocolate from her secret stash. "The way I see it, there's a couple ways you could approach this situation," she said. "You can either confront Luke and make him talk to you about it if you're really desperate for closure, bring it up to the other guys yourself and have an awkward but frank heart-to-heart, or you can take the boon that Luke has offered you and try to find a way to move on, ruminate on things and try to find your own form of personal closure." She considered him for a moment. "You seem more like a second option kind of guy."

Alex sighed, knowing he was painfully transparent, but with the rejection of his parents, he didn't want to risk losing any of the other important connections in his life. He knew the guys would stick by his side regardless, but that period of awkward interaction that was destined to follow (along with Reggie's sympathy and sorrow) – just the thought of it made Alex want to break out into hives.

"It feels like an olive branch," Alex muttered, shrugging his shoulders somewhat helplessly. "Luke tried to do something nice for me, I don't want to throw that in his face and make it seem like I don't appreciate it. He's nice enough to make this effort for me, to act like things are normal… I sort of feel obligated to go along with it."

"That's very sweet of you to say," Kayla began, and Alex waited for the pivotal 'but'. "But-" There it was. "Luke is your friend. He implemented a plan he thought would bring you comfort, but if it doesn't actually help, he would want to know about it. He did what he thought was best – or, alternatively, and I know you didn't think about this because you think the world of the guy, but there's a good chance he simply implemented a tactic that was best for him. You know Luke is emotionally constipated. He doesn't handle delicate emotional conversations well. This could be just as much for you as it is for him, so stop making assumptions on his part and start thinking about what you need, because you're the only one who's going to really know what that is, and the only one incentivized to fight for it."

Alex blinked, though he didn't know why he was surprised by the straightforward advice. "You're really good at this," he said. "You should have a blog or something."

"It comes from working with four very driven individuals who want to succeed in a system that's inherently sexist," Kayla said, her tone as no-nonsense as ever. "It's us against the world, and we do not have time to fight each other on top of that. You have to have a firm understanding of who you are, what you need, and if the people you're working with don't respect you enough to listen and adapt to that, then they aren't really people you should be friends with anyway."

"Badass," Alex said, his tone full of awe.

"Damn right, I am," Kayla hummed, offering him a pleased grin while she re-applied her lip gloss. "So now you need to ask yourself, what do you want? And what steps do you need to take to get it?" She closed her lip gloss with a firm twist of her wrist. "It isn't something you have to decide immediately. The guys care for you, so you've got time. Think it out."

So Alex did, but in the meantime, he went along with the plan Luke had established to see how that worked for him. Admittedly, he felt a little guilty. He knew Luke wasn't as physical with him as he'd been before, was conscious of the fact that the singer no longer brought up the prospect of pleasuring Reggie together, but other than that, things were fine. He thought that Bobby was beginning to suspect something, Luke's cheer coming off as just a little bit forced, but Reggie was forever oblivious and simply happy to have his three boyfriends at hand.

It was enough to establish a solid base for normal that Alex was okay to resign himself to it, at least while he thought things out.

And then prom season started.

It wasn't like it snuck up on them or anything. Prom had been lingering on the horizon since December had shifted into January, and while Alex personally hadn't cared that much, back then the guys very much had, Reggie and Luke constantly trading conversations about what girls they should focus their efforts on to score the elusive prom date. The fact that Alex hadn't noticed when these conversations had abruptly stopped, likely due to a plethora of unresolved romantic tension that he'd been too buried in his own issues to acknowledge, spoke to just how very self-involved Alex used to be.

His parents had been excited by the idea of Alex taking Kayla to prom. His dad had given him a second version of the talk. He'd then gone so far as to give Alex condoms, which on one hand was responsible, Alex guessed, but on the other just sort of showed how much his parents would pick and choose the guidelines established by their religion. By all rights, encouraging underage sex should have been an automatic negatory, but the fact that his dad had expected it to happen anyway and wanted Alex to be prepared for it was just- at the time Alex had been too frazzled, but now he couldn't help but be annoyed. Where was that same bending of the rules when it came to loving their homosexual son? Why couldn't he be allowed an exception? Why was his entire existence so much more offensive than the idea of Alex fulfilling some sort of obligatory rite of passage?

Thinking about prom made Alex a bit morose, because those firsts were things he'd been sort of looking forward to sharing with is parents. Taking pictures with his date or picking out a suit. Selecting a corsage and matching boutineer. Researching restaurants with meal specials and tracking down limo rentals. He knew his mom had been onboard with it, and they were dumb things to be upset about, but the pain lingered. Mostly, it was a reminder of what he'd lost, what his parents had willingly given away, and that wasn't his fault and would never be his fault, but it didn't make it sting less. It didn't help that he was now a burden on Willie's family, where before he knew he'd never have to worry about prom and the relating expenses. If anything, he would have helped Reggie out with his, knowing that there was no way he could stealthily help Bobby or Luke in a way where they'd accept it.

Fortunately, that was where Kayla swooped in to save the day yet again.

"I'm not going to monopolize you, because that would be cruel," Kayla said as she began walking him through the Pinterest boards she had set up for prom on her tablet. "But if you're okay with it, I would very much like to use you as a human shield to keep from having to deal with cocky randos."

"As your boyfriend, I am forever happy to be of service," Alex said, knowing that a month ago he would have lamented his status as Kayla's social protection, but now he looked forward to it. Probably because they were friends now, and he didn't have to worry about being anything other than himself.

Kayla's responding smile was nothing less than brilliant. "I'll just need a few dances here and there. I'm pretty sure our bands are already consolidating into one large prom party, so that's one less complication." She twirled a lilac stylus between her fingers, seeming lost in thought, before she levered the thing at him. "I'll take care of your tux and stuff, of course, gotta make sure we perfectly coordinate, and before you even think of objecting, know that you will indeed be paying for it in your own special way." She fluttered her lashes at him. "I realize it's a horrible stereotype, but I've always wanted to go shopping with a gay dude."

Alex groaned. "I don't even like fashion."

"But you'll give me honest answers," Kayla pressed. "I'll buy you pretzels from that one place Reggie likes so much."

And just like that, the deal was sealed, Kayla exploiting Alex's greatest weakness – the potential happiness of his friends. "I want Icees too."

"Done and done, honeybun," she said, blowing him a kiss so exaggerated he couldn't help but chuckle.

Kayla's parents (and not herself, she was sure to clarify) were insistent on paying for Alex's dinner, tickets, and his share of the limo rental. Carrie's dad was letting them have the run of his mansion for the after party under the express conditions that one, there would be no alcohol (which after the dumb pot brownie thing, Alex was pretty set on himself) and two, if there were shenanigans, they would be the utmost of safe, both parties would have clear and repeated consent, and if anyone was pressured into doing something they weren't a hundred percent okay with, he would break into the house and put an end to things the moment he was made aware of it, Trevor giving all of them his cell number and the repeated confirmation that yes, they could call him whenever they wanted, about whatever they wanted to talk about.

With the hard parts seemingly tackled, Alex wasn't sure what there was to be nervous about. Still, the anxiety lingered, seeming draped over his shoulders like leaden weights that were slowly dragging him down. Everything was going too well; something should be going awry soon.

That was just the story of his life.

The hurdle he'd been expecting finally sprang into existence when Alex started discussing the nitty gritty details of prom with the band, which wasn't something they really did. As far as Alex knew, Luke and Reggie left most of the planning stuff to Carrie, Flynn, and Julie, and while Bobby was slightly more informed in an effort to keep his grandparents up to date, he still wasn't as active a participant as Alex had found himself to be.

So it took a bit before they actually discussed prom as a group. When they finally broached the subject, Alex was sort of glad they had waited.

"I guess I can bounce between you guys?" Reggie asked, combing a distracted hand through his hair while the four of them huddled in a distant corner of Julie's garage. The other bands were there as well, but the four of them had split off once Flynn and Carrie had started facing off in an epic showdown to decide where their pre-prom photos were to be taken, because apparently that was a thing that was very much important.

Kayla had waved Alex out of the line of the fire as soon as it had broken out, his fake girlfriend sending him a wink while Alex collected the rest of his friends to get out of the way. They hadn't discussed the particulars of their own prom arrangements yet, so they may as well do it now at the last prom planning meeting before the big event.

"Don't worry about it," Alex soothed, giving Reggie's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I'll just go with Kayla, officially. Though to clarify, I would very much like to be your date to prom, but for the sake of avoiding complications…"

"Right," Reggie said, shoulders slumping in what seemed to be a combination of relief and maybe disappointment. As of right now, his and Reggie's arrangement was still very much a secret. Alex had told Kayla and Willie, but as Reggie's closest confidants coincidentally happened to be his boyfriends, there was a good chance he hadn't told anyone outside the band.

"She already promised not to monopolize me though," he said, trying to cushion the blow. "We can still dance together, if you're cool with it."

Reggie perked up, his pinched expression easing into a genuine smile. "I'm cool with it."

And just like that, everything was fine. The trickiest hurdle had been jumped, Alex's anxiety was free to melt away…

And then Luke cleared his throat.

"What about Willie?" he asked, pitching the question towards Alex for some reason.

"What?" Alex asked, his mouth running ahead of his brain. Belatedly, he realized that Luke must assume he had inside knowledge since he lived with Willie, but seeing as Luke was generally focused on the band or Julie, Alex wasn't sure why Willie would suddenly be of interest to the brunette.

"Are you going to take him too?" Luke asked, his expression intensely focused. "Since you're dating?"

Julie, who had been lingering nearby with Kayla, likely in an attempt to formulate a plan to diffuse the whole Carrie/Flynn showdown, perked up, her eyes going wide. "Alex and Willie are dating?"

"Secret dating," Luke clarified before Alex could get a word in. "I think they're testing the waters."

"Luke," Alex hissed, at a complete loss for words, any sort of formulated reply escaping his grasp as he battled with the rising swells of panic in the wake of the way Reggie's expression completely crumbled. "What the fuck."

It was Julie who spoke up, though, a confused Kayla lingering behind her. "That's great, guys," she said, her smile seeming a little forced. "I'm happy for you."

"Happy about what?" Nick asked, the blond returning with Willie from the house proper with everyone's drink requests. "Are Flynn and Carrie done eye-fucking each other?"

"I wish," someone – Orange Candy, by the sounds of it – muttered.

Julie ignored her. "Alex and Willie are dating," she said with the same strained expression.

Nick froze, surprise widening his gaze before his expression shuttered off into one of absolute neutrality. "That's great," he said, his tone deadpan.

"What?" Willie asked, just as confused as Alex. "Who told you that?"

"Luke did," Alex said, speaking up. "Guys-"

"You don't get to be mad at me," Luke declared, like he wasn't just spouting off bullshit. "I was just the first one to put the pieces together, but it's not like you guys were being subtle."

"What's going on?" Carrie asked, and now the whole gang was gathered to watch this monstrosity unfold.

"I found Alex and Willie out," Luke pressed, completely oblivious to the damage he was causing, Reggie shrinking in on himself and huddling against Bobby's side, the rhythm guitarist equally lost. "They've been sneaking around-"

"We literally have not," Alex snapped. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me is that you can't secretly date two guys without telling one of them about it!" Luke snapped. "What, Reggie wasn't enough for you?"

"Is Alex dating Reggie now?" Yellow Candy muttered to Blue Candy standing beside her, though both were ignored.

"Does Willie even know?" Luke continued, eyes blazing with fury. "I mean, we've all heard him asking around about polyamory-"

"We have?" Julie asked, curiosity overriding her strange tension.

"I thought Reggie was dating you guys," Nick pointed out. "What is going on?"

"What's going on is that we let Alex date Reggie 'cuz he likes him!" Luke burst. "But all the while, he's been sleeping around with Willie-"

"What the actual fuck," Willie said. "Dude, we're just roommates."

"I saw you guys!" Luke snapped. "Cuddling in bed together-"

"Did you follow me home?" Alex asked, realizing with a start exactly why things had been quiet on the Luke front so recently. It wasn't because he was offering out some kind of olive branch, he was stewing in his own stupid assumptions.

"What the fuck else was I supposed to do when you shout stuff like that?" Luke asked, his eyes shining with restrained moisture, because apparently Luke couldn't help but get worked up about this kind of stuff. "I get it, you used to like us, and now you've moved on to Willie-"

"You can cuddle people without dating them, you idiot," Willie hissed, seeming at his wit's end.

"He talks to you all the time!" Luke pressed. "More than he does us-"

"Maybe it's because you do dumb shit like this," Flynn offered, still seeming confused.

"Willie and I aren't dating!" Alex snapped. "We're not secretly dating either, and fuck you for thinking I would keep something like that from Reggie."

"You've kept plenty of important shit from us!" Luke snarled right back.

"That's not fair," Kayla said, her tone perfectly level, trying to assert a sense of calm when Alex couldn't. "Alex was terrified for his wellbeing, it wasn't like he wanted to keep it from you."

"I mean, I sort of did," Alex said, because he at least needed to be honest. "Mostly to avoid any awkwardness when you didn't- you know."

"He obviously doesn't," Flynn muttered, sharing a look with Carrie.

"Reciprocate," Alex ground out, as though this evening couldn't get any more humiliating. "For when they didn't reciprocate."

There was a long, awkward silence that no one seemed in any rush to end, and that was fine, Alex was fine, he knew that it would get easier in time, it just didn't make that moment any easier.

"Well," Luke spoke up eventually, because of course it would be Luke. "It's not like you have to worry about that anyway, since you don't like us anymore."

Belatedly, Alex realized that Luke had mentioned that before, though it had gotten lost in the shuffle of everything else. Alex stared at him, feeling his incredulity grow when Luke didn't elaborate, didn't turn around and yell 'Psyche!' like it was all some kind of horrific joke.

It took effort not to grind his teeth together. "Did you even listen to our conversation?" Alex asked, feeling halfway hysterical.

"Yes," Luke hissed, his shoulders rising in a defensive hunch. "You said you liked us, and then you apologized-"

"Like, Luke," Alex snapped. "I said I like you guys – present tense – and then I apologized because I know you don't feel that way-"

"Oh my god," Luke interrupted, his eyes going wide. "That makes so much more sense."

Great. Fantastic. Alex was so very glad for him-

And then he had an armful of Luke Patterson, who surged forward with such ferocity that it left Alex collapsing back onto the couch behind him with a graceless squawk.

"Luke!" Alex protested, but then the singer was cupping his face between warm hands, was staring at him from up close with a complete lack of personal boundaries. Luke was sitting in his lap, like a taunt and-

"We like you too," Luke declared, and then he was kissing him.

Alex. He was kissing Alex.

On purpose.

"This is my surprised face," Carrie deadpanned from somewhere off to the side, but that was drowned out by the other candies cheering.

"W-What?" Alex had to pull back, had to get some distance from Luke, who seemed to be just as clingy with him as he was the others. "But you three-"

"We waited," Luke gushed. "To see if- that's why we didn't tell you. Because we liked you too, but we couldn't- we had to be sure, and you kept talking about girls and stuff so we just- we gave up and dated each other, but we always wanted to include you."

He seemed so very certain, his gaze full of hope and- and fondness and all the adoration he usually aimed at Bobby and Reggie and never Alex. It was everything the blond wanted, but it was a lot, and more than that, it was from Luke, who'd already proven to be an unreliable source of knowledge.

As such, Alex turned to regard Bobby and Reggie to see if this was actually the case. Bobby would set him straight if he wasn't, and he'd do it in a way that would be kindest on all of them.

For whatever reason, the rhythm guitarist seemed shy. "It's true," he said, making something soar in Alex's chest. "But we thought- with the party, we thought you only wanted Reggie, so…"

"Guys," Alex sighed. "How could I ever love one of you over the others?"

"He's right," Flynn spoke up. "The guy has one third bad taste, but he's right."

Luke's brow furrowed. "Who's the third that's- hey," he said, when he realized she was referring to him.

"I'm sorry," Bobby said, and his focus was entirely on Alex. "I'm so sorry, Alex. When we first started dating, that must have – that was why you avoided us so much, wasn't it?"

Alex ducked his head, feeling his cheeks heat with an embarrassed flush. "It hurt," he admitted. "I had known it couldn't happen for so long, and suddenly it was, but I couldn't be a part of it. I wasn't- you didn't want me to be a part of it-"

"We did," Luke murmured, cupping Alex's jaw so he could turn the blond towards him. "We always did. We do."

"We do," Reggie repeated, his voice soft.

"I know I've been… really dumb about all this," Luke admitted. "But if you'd be willing to date us anyway-"

Alex broke off with a soft sound and belatedly realized he was crying. "Of course," he whispered his voice tight. "You don't have to ask."

"But you do need to apologize," Kayla stepped in. "Like, a lot, Luke. You've been a giant tool during all of this."

"I know," Luke sighed, flopping his head against Alex's shoulder. "I was jealous and upset and I took that out on you. I'll make it up to you."

"And the next time you're upset, you'll use your words," Kayla said. "Or I will be stepping in. All of your boyfriends are gifts and you need to treat them that way."

"Right," Luke said with a small flush, and Kayla – she'd included Alex in that. Alex was – could be – their boyfriend.

"Oh wow," Alex said, the full weight of it slamming into him. "Bobby…"

"We're here," Bobby said, settling in on Alex's free side before he leaned close and kissed him, and it was easy, it was right, just as right as kissing Reggie ever was.

Alex cried harder, but the guys were there to wipe away his tears, there to cuddle him close because he was wanted, had been wanted this entire time.

"So," Nick spoke up, his voice somewhat awkward. "Willie isn't dating Alex then?"

"Nope," Kayla said. "So you and Julie should. You know, before that changes."

There was a pause and then three different sputters.

"I mean, you don't have to," Willie was saying. "Obviously, you don't want to, but like, if you're interested-"

"I'm interested," Nick cut in, the word seeming to burst from him.

"Very interested," Julie said, and her expression was victorious.

Alex didn't blame her. It wasn't often that you saw Willie that flustered, and while Alex hadn't realized Nick was bi, there was a good chance he was simply Willie-sexual, which wasn't a bad thing to be, in Alex's humble opinion.

"Finally," Carrie huffed before she and Kayla shoved the new thrupple together. "Go dote on each other in a corner while Flynn and I finish prom preparations. Kayla accepts gift cards and makeup as gifts."

"Noted," Nick chirped, the blond eager to shift Willie between himself and Julie, both of them cuddling the blushing skater into submission.

In hindsight, it seemed a bit obvious, but mostly Alex was glad that Willie had gotten his own happy ending, and that Alex had gotten the guys.

Finally.

"Are you still going to prom with Kayla?" Luke asked, the brunette already pressing kisses against Alex's neck, never one to dawdle when he could run at a full sprint.

Alex cleared his throat. "I think at this rate, we're all taking Kayla to prom."

"What a lucky day to be me," Kayla chirped, and there was laughter, there were smiles, but mostly there was resolution. No more secrets. No more holding back, no more rejection, no more hiding.

It's been so long, and now he's finally free.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Endnotes:

I didn't know it was over until it happened, and I don't usually end in song lyrics but for this particular story, it felt appropriate :)

I do have some bad news. This is, unfortunately, the last Julie and the Phantoms' fic I have completed at the moment. I don't know if I'll have anything in the tank for the future, to be honest. I thought I might get inspired by a second season, but we all know how that turned out. We might get lucky and have the show get picked up by a different producer, but for now, I'm grateful for what we did get – the comedy and the songs and the lovely fandom that spawned from it :)

As for unfinished fics, I do have a long, dramatic, terribly painful epic that is actually canon-compliant. It's… I'd say eighty percent done? Maybe seventy five percent? I don't know if I'll ever finish it (and by that I mean address all the trauma that central conflict inspired), but I do have a pretty big chunk of it finished in what could be a – not quite a happy ending like I normally do – but a hopeful one. I don't normally like posting stories until I have a completed rough draft of them, but I've been contemplating rounding off the finished plot into its own story and having all the trauma-addressing/entire happy ending stuff addressed in a sequel.

How would you guys feel about that? Because there's the potential of the sequel never getting completed, I'll be up front about it. Would you still want to read the rest of it? It'd take a while to edit because it's so long, but I wanted to test the waters to see if there was any interest.

If you thought my past stuff was angsty, it has nothing on this fic. There is a lot of heavy themes/concepts and Caleb Covington being the absolute worst. It is not a great time. Honestly, I think I dabbled in it just to test my angsty limits, but it is like, almost, almost done.

Story notes:

A bit of an abrupt ending but once I finished the last scene I realized I had nothing else in me. Assume that their prom night was rife with cuddling and Kayla touting about her four dates like the queen she is. And also that Luke is going to be groveling for roughly forever because half the issues in this story were thanks to him.

Until next time :)

-:-:-:-:-:-

'I got a spark in me, hands up if you can see. And you're a part of me, hands up if you're with me. Now 'til eternity, hands up if you believe – been so long and now I'm finally free.' – 'Finally Free', Julie and the Phantoms